Living Simply: Pay It Forward

It's been a while since I blogged about this topic, and today is a wonderful time to bring it up again. The concept is to Pay It Forward. If you haven't heard of it before, here's the foundation of it:

Do something nice for someone else, not for someone who did something nice for you, and tell them to do something nice to "pay it forward" as well (instead of repaying you for your kindness). 

If possible: do it for someone who you know could never repay you anyway.

So what does that look like? First let me explain the last part. Maybe you need to forgive someone who can't repay you, for example, forgiving a parent for a bad childhood. It's too late for them to re-do it all over again, they're powerless to change the past, but you let them know that all is forgiven. This works with an ex-partner, estranged child or sibling, old bosses, neighbors, etc.

The beauty of it is that you do something nice for 3 people, then they do the same, then they do the same, and it could make a difference in your family, workplace, neighborhood, or community. Spreading help, joy, and love - what's better than that? Now what is something positive you can do for someone so they can do something nice for others? Here's a few ideas:

• Call someone you know needs a friend right now
• Help someone who you pass that's homeless - it could be money, food, bottled water, etc.
• Write a note, email, or even text to someone letting them know you appreciate them
• Pick an event or charity where you can do a one-day volunteer opportunity
• Compliment someone (it must be sincere), maybe someone overlooked, like a janitor.
• Pray for someone you know is struggling
• Donate to a food bank or a shelter, especially if you find a Buy One Get One Free sale
• Do a task for a friend/family member like doing laundry, washing their car, etc.
• Bring a meal to someone who's going through a rough time, or is sick, or too busy to cook
• Volunteer to babysit for a single parent who needs some alone time 
• Babysit for a couple so they can have a much-needed date night
• Pay for coffee for the customer behind you in line or in a drive-through
• Give someone a ride when they don't have a working car
• Donate blood with your local Red Cross organization
• Recycle your stuff - donate toys to a school or church, give magazines to a nursing home, etc.
• Invite someone over for dinner - even if you just serve pizza or take-out.
• Hold the door open for the person behind you
• Smile at someone who looks like they're having a rough day, be nice
• Bake treats for a neighbor, friend, or loved one

The list is endless, be creative, and be kind to others. Have a great weekend.

Living Simply: Let It Go

Today was the perfect chance to live out what I blog, speak, and teach. Today was the last day before my college Spring Break. I had 2 tests today, one in Statistics and one in a Psychology class. First, you should know that I've always been a little OCD, I am an over-achiever, and if I get a 97% or a 98% on a test, I want to know why. Today, I got a 90% and an 87%. Had this been last semester or even the beginning of this one (back in January), I might have panicked, especially getting a B. I have a perfect 4.0 GPA and if I maintain it, it means thousands of more money in scholarships, so there's something tangible to lose.

When I got my grades, I wasn't happy. In fact, I thought I really did do better on both. But I know what I teach and blog about - so it was time to live it out. I decided that a 90 is still an A, still a 4.0, so I let it go. Nothing changes the grade by me stressing over it. If I did, how would I focus enough to do well on the next test a little while later?

When I got the grade back that was a B, I was a bit surprised, but I knew the tests questions were worded very differently than they were in the lecture and on the worksheets. I talked to several classmates outside the class after we were done testing. They all had very similar issues with the test, and my friend in class reminded me that this teacher drops your lowest test grade anyway, so one test is no big deal if I study harder and do better next time.


This was the first time in my life that I didn't stress over the grades. I was truly able to just let it go. I didn't carry the anxiety into the next classes. I kept a great, happy, relaxed attitude all day. I've been like a whole new person. I seriously recommend this whole "living simply" attitude and outlook!

On one last note, when I got home I looked to see what the average was for the class, along with the highest/lowest grades in class. (It's anonymous, just the number is visible.) In Statistics, the average was a 62, the highest was a 96, so a 90 is really good. In the psychology class, the average was a 77, the highest was a 93, and I got an 87. That's pretty good too. The teacher already put an "x" next to that test with a note saying it'll be dropped, because he knows I usually get high 90s on his tests. All in all, not too bad. I also found out I got a 97.5% on my History quiz yesterday.

What does this mean for you? When things don't work out to perfection, take a deep breath, keep them in the proper perspective, don't panic, and just know it'll be okay. Have a great rest of the week.

Living Simply: Spring Cleaning

     Now that spring is almost here (although I know that's hard to believe in many places right now), it's time to start thinking about how to start spring with a clean house that feels refreshed. It's time to chase out the closed in feeling of months in hibernation. Even where it's warm and sunny all winter, this is a time to prepare a few things before the summer heat sets in around May.

1.  Time to do a quick de-cluttering again. Over the winter things accumulate. Set a timer and go through each room, even if it's just one a day, and declutter for say 10 or 15 minutes. What things are you looking to get rid of? Regift or donate gifts you've gotten in the past few months you know you'll never use or need. Donate stacks of magazines and books that could benefit someone else (maybe a doctor's office, hairdressers, nursing home, library). Do a quick sweep of your pantry for items that are still good but you know you won't use them - donate them to a food bank or shelter. Throw out old take out menu coupons. Look in your closet and remove anything you haven't worn in the last 3-6 months and probably won't in the near future.

2.  Clean. Dust whatever shelves, furniture, art, and other things that need it. Dust your blinds, ceiling fans, and curtains (or wash them if you can). Wash all your bedding. Vacuum neglected areas. Maybe even call in a service to shampoo and steam clean rugs and upholstery.

3.  Service your heating/air conditioning units, and have the duct work cleaned. It's cheaper than problems later.

4.  Clean your vehicles. Remove the trash, vacuum it out, wipe down the glass, dust the rest, remove spots from the seats if you can, and give it a good wash. If you live in an area with salted roads, you really need to keep it off your car to prevent premature rusting.

5.  Office areas need attention too. File away what you need to keep. Scan what you can to avoid tons of papers. Dust and vacuum. Clear the desktop for a more productive work environment. Remove clutter that's been put down and forgotten.

6.  Bathrooms get filled so quickly with bath, body, and beauty products. Take time to throw out anything that's old (especially makeup), donate lotions, hair products, and other things you thought you wanted but now realize you never use it. Use up those half-filled containers so you only keep what you're currently using. It seems like everywhere I go, people's bathrooms are filled with dozens of half-filled products because they start one, bring home a new one, and never get back to using up or throwing out the old one.

7.  Outdoors. Clean up trash. If you live where it doesn't snow, rake or sweep up around your home, patios and balconies for apartments too. Wash the windows when you get a nice day (or pay someone to do it). Get rid of old holiday decorations left sitting outside. It's March. You shouldn't still have Christmas lights on your house.

8.  Finally, take one day and really wash and disinfect your home - floors, counters, sinks, bathrooms, all doorknobs and light switches wiped down, change batteries in smoke alarms, wipe down cabinets, clean mirrors, wipe down table tops in the kitchen, dining room, and living room, change out any burnt light bulbs, etc.

This may take you a week, maybe even two, working a little bit each day - but once you're done - you'll feel like your space is refreshed, healthier, and more relaxing. It's worth it.

Living Simply: Obstacles to simple living

I've noticed for the past 8 weeks or so, life has been a continuing series of one time events (stole that quote from my friend, Bill). Sometimes life throws obstacles at you in rapid succession, they aren't one continuous thing you failed to address, just a bunch of random, one time events, one after another. When this happens, it's hard to live the simple life you're trying to adopt. So what types of things "attack you" and what can you do about it?

1.  Illness/sickness/allergies - This one hits randomly. I've convinced it has nothing to do with protective measures anymore. You can be around people coughing and sneezing and be fine, yet you come down with something when you're using sanitizer and locking yourself away from everyone possible.  - So what can you do about it? You can try home remedies, natural remedies, increase your immune boosters like vitamin C and garlic (a natural antibiotic) but the truth is, it will last as long as it lasts, and will go when it's "done with you". So to live more simply, take the time to rest when you need to. Don't be the hero. All it does is take you longer to heal. Sleep. Nap. Cancel a few things if you must. Rest is the only real determining factor once you know it's not something super serious requiring prescriptions. And if it is serious, accepting it, taking your medication, and resting is all you can do anyway. Enjoy the extra rest.

2.  Projects you must complete - For some it's a work project with a deadline, for me, it's a college assignment, like a 10 page report in perfect English grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. Maybe it's research you must do before you can begin an on-coming project. - What can you do about it? If it becomes the priority in your world, then give it your full attention. Trying to do a bit here and there will not give you the best results and it makes your efforts twice as hard. Set aside a block of time to get the thing done so you can move forward with a new priority as soon as possible. Giving it your full attention will assure it's most likely done right the first time.

3.  Life throws stuff at you sometimes - you may experience a string of things like a flat tire, your bank account has been hacked, your phone died, and you're car won't start, all in the same week. It sucks but it happens. Take a step back. Breathe. Handle one thing at a time. Make whatever appointment needs to be made, set aside time to talk to those who can help you. Just get through them one thing at a time. It won't be this way forever.

4.  Other people need you - It could be your partner, kids, coworkers, aging parents, friends, neighbors, just about anyone. They need your particular set of skills or a ride to and from somewhere, or for you to volunteer for something in a pinch. This is where you need to know and trust your own judgement. If it can wait until a more convenient time, reschedule your help. If it has a deadline AND you feel it's something you can and should do, then do it and don't look back, give it your best. If it's something that's very inconvenient, timing is wrong, and it's not your responsibility, then a polite "no" is allowed. Don't feel guilty. The other person will either get over it or they won't. You must decide what you can and cannot handle - especially if it's for someone you know doesn't come to the aid of others when they need it, or if the person who habitually needs you because they do nothing to help themselves. No guilt. Don't lose sleep over it. Don't let their emotional manipulation get to you. Just give them a polite "no" and move on. Again, if it IS your responsibility, then be an adult and handle it quickly, with best intentions, and then you're free to move onto something else.

Living Simply: How I've changed

     About a year ago, I re-watched The Minimalists' documentary on Netflix called "Minimalism" for the second time, and I knew that's the direction I wanted to head. The first thing I did was take some time to think about it. What was I looking for that I didn't find yet in my life? Why did the documentary make me want to change? How could I be happier by getting rid of things I had bought over the years - after all - didn't I buy them because I DID want them? Could I life a more simple life in a pretty large family, in a pretty large house? (I couldn't downsize since we won't be empty nesters for a few more years, plus we were relocating my mother and brother here to give them both a new start.

     I started looking around for other things online related to minimalism, then living a simple life. I came across Joshua Becker, a man with a family who lived in my state and was making it work, but his reasons were a little different. The minimalists are great, I've met them, but it seemed easier since they were single guys (with girlfriends, not entire families). Joshua was able to explain the WHY of it in a way that related to me...to simplify life, to spend more time with those you love. It wasn't about simply eliminating the unwanted and unnecessary from your life, it was also about adding important relationships. Upon further reading, I found this way of life was doable whether you're a single guy backpacking across the world with nothing but what fits in your pack, or a family guy with a houseful of kids. I decided to give it a try.

   
 I started in my room, closet, and drawers. Then I moved into the kitchen, dining room, and pantry. Next I went through the other rooms removing everything that no longer brought me joy, added value, nor served a functional purpose anymore. I removed FOUR MINIVANS FULL! And that wouldn't be the last of it. I probably continue to drop off things about once a month (including things my family no longer needs). I got rid of books I'd kept for years but read numerous times. I gave away movies, clothes, kitchen utensils, dishes, mixing bowls, and a ton of knick knacks and decorations. Now, the house has so much less to deal with. If the average home has 300,000 items according to statistics, I personally have reduced my own to about 10% of what I had, and about 50% of what's in the house (I don't force those I live with to do without because of my own preferences).

     So what is life like now? If you've read my blog over the last 6 months or more, you'll see I really do live a more simple life. I still go down for the count with illnesses or have stressful situations to get through, I'm not trying to show you some make-believe phony life. I just handle things differently now. I take time to enjoy peace and quiet, time with family, doing things with friends, and getting enough sleep without feeling guilty. I make time for the important things, which right now is maintaining my 4.0 GPA while running a home, being a mom, making sure my own mother is taken care of, and having a husband who's gone close to 300 days a year. I just handle it better. Why? Because I have "room to breathe", and time to think. I handle things better because I don't stress over things that haven't happened yet. They say 95% of things we worry about NEVER even happen, and the other 5% is almost always things we have no control over anyway.

     Watch the documentary. Read about Joshua Becker online. Think through how much stuff you've accumulated that you don't need, it takes up space, it requires time to take care of it, and why you still hold onto it. Maybe it's time for you to simplify your own life, to intentionally calm your life down, and just enjoy being in the moment, and enjoying more peace of mind, and more rewarding relationships. Have a great week.

Living Simply: Begin with the End in Mind

Sorry the blog has been less consistent this month. Some of my college homework and projects are more intense than I anticipated. I also just got over having some kind of intestinal virus from either dirty ice cubes or bad water in a restaurant or something. I also had a houseful of people here all weekend. Although today will be super busy working on school, I didn't want to neglect keeping in touch with all of you.

Today I'm going to expand a bit on a topic I selected for a speech and slide show presentation I'm giving tomorrow in Public Speaking class. I'm going to recommend the book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Dr. Stephen Covey. It's a life changing book if you really dig into it. The audio book if actually done by him is also very good. Anyway, in the book about the 7 habits, there is one that really stands out, Habit 2, Begin with the End in Mind. What does that mean? It means to start every day with either a vision of where you want to be, what destination you're trying to reach, what goals you would set for yourself. Then, breaking it down backwards, figuring out a plan or a map to get you headed in the right direction, then breaking it down to baby steps to get you moving towards your destination. It's about developing a habit of choosing something to do every day to move you closer to where you want to be.

This works in many areas of life:

1. Relationships - Figure out what you want your relationships to look like, what your marriage could become if you gave it the attention it deserves, etc. Then work towards that in the way you speak, act, think towards others, and how you treat them.

2. Livelihood - Do you want a dream job? To own your own business? To turn a hobby into an income producing vehicle for you? Figure it out, learn what you need to do that, and begin moving in that direction.

3. Lifestyle - Are you financially strapped? Have you wanted to travel but never got around to it? Are you trying to find a way to spend more time at home with your family? Would you rather live somewhere else in the country? or in the world? Figure out what your perfect life would look like, then work your map backwards so your baby steps will get you there - once you start making intentional decisions.

You don't have to wait decades just to end up saying, "How did I get stuck here?" You can start today making the changes necessary to make your dreams come true. And yes, this works well even if your goal is to be a minimalist, or just live a more simple life. How else will you ever rid yourself of the unnecessary to pursue what you'd really enjoy doing with your time and money and those you love? Read that book. Best of luck on your journey.

Living Simply: A new generation of minimalists?

I had to give a speech in Public Speaking class yesterday. It was supposed to be about 2 pieces of clothing that are special, or define me, or are filled with memories. Well, when you have a minimalist's Capsule Wardrobe, you have to make adjustments. I got permission to speak on 2 "things" from my closet, so I spoke on 1 shirt in particular that I had to embellish to complete the assignment, but the second thing was my Capsule Wardrobe.

Speaking to a roomful of about 20 students, all of them between 18 and about 25 (except me), was interesting. I figured they would just listen to me for the 5 minutes or so, and move on. Instead, the reaction I got was amazing by this new generation coming up in the world! They said they loved the topic, the idea of minimalism (more so than the capsule wardrobe alone), and the idea of having more time and money to do what they want to do. The class is required to give anonymous feedback in the form of 2 categories:  What they liked best, and what they felt needed improvement on my speech. As for the latter, it was tiny stuff like more eye contact - I have a habit of looking up when I'm thinking - and I did this without notes. The responses I got on what they liked best was so encouraging to me! They wrote not about my style, or gestures, or personal stuff, but about how they want to learn more about minimalism. That's exactly what I was hoping would happen; that they would be interested in a different lifestyle. Being an older student and a mom, I want to see these young adults grow up making better choices than the previous one. I want to see them let go of the mass consumerism, fueled by mindless consumption for the sake of status, or just thinking stuff will make them happy.

So in a time when the typical 20-somethings are eating Tide pods (laundry detergent) for fun and internet attention, I'm happy to say there is a smart group who are seeking a better way. A generation rising up that doesn't want to be chained to an unfulfilling 40+ hour workweek. They want to live intentionally, they want money left over to support charities and things that are important to them, and maybe, just maybe, minimalism can be the tool they find to do just that.

Living Simply: What would you tell YOU?

Let's take a few minutes today to really think...knowing what you know now, as you're working towards either minimalism or just a more simple, intentional life, after you've begun decluttering and getting rid of so much stuff you've accumulated mindlessly over the years...what would you tell your younger self if you went back in time? Maybe something like this?

1.  THINK about your buying habits. Figure out what are impulsive, emotional wants and what are actual needs. There are so many better things to spend your money on than just the clutter and material junk that advertisers and store sale signs tell you to buy.

2.  BE CREATIVE. Can you borrow the book, music, or movie, or get it from the library instead of buying it? (Especially textbooks for college!), Can you buy top brand clothes from a discounted store like an outlet store? Ross, Marshall's or TJ Maxx? Have you considered Goodwill for basic items like bakeware or electronics?

3.  Think about EXPERIENCES. Instead of always buying things for yourself and others, what about purchasing experiences instead, full of lifelong memories and opportunities for strengthening relationships? Instead of a sweater, purse, movie, shoes, music, etc., what about buying theater or movie tickets? restaurant gift cards? bowling gift certificates? tickets to an event, concert, sporting event, or trade show? how about an overnight stay at a bed and breakfast?

4.  Don't buy more than you need, especially CLOTHING. Most people wear the same few items and never touch 80% of their closet's contents. If it doesn't fit anymore, donate it. If it's out of style, toss it. If it's stained or has holes that prevents you from wearing it regularly, throw it out. If it's a style that doesn't really suit you, give it away. Stop hoarding stuff you'll never wear.

5.  Be INTENTIONAL with your time. Don't waste time doing things you hate. Instead, create more time to do what brings you joy or adds value to your life. Spend it with those you love instead of scrolling on your phone or sitting on your computer all night. Why watch a movie alone when you can watch with friends or family? Make time to get away, breathe fresh air, fellowship with others.

Now that we've gone through this little thinking exercise, imagine what your older self would say to you NOW. What will your wiser self tell you to change? How or in what areas would your future self tell you to start growing? What will your older self tell you to do today so your future is even better? Then start today taking those baby steps to move you toward the direction you need to go, for you. May you also enjoy the journey.

Living Simply: Quotes

Today, enjoy these sayings and quotes about living a simple life:

“It is desirable that a man live in all respects so simply and preparedly that if an enemy take the town... he can walk out the gate empty-handed and without anxiety.” 
― Henry David Thoreau, Walden

“Well, all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head.” 
― Hal Leonard Publishing Company, OneRepublic: Dreaming Out Loud

“Arranging a bowl of flowers in the morning sun can give a sense of quiet in a crowded day - like writing a poem, or saying a prayer.” 
― Anne Morrow Lindbergh

“Forget about the money for a moment. Lose yourself in the wilderness, listen to the music of the softly blowing winds, feel the rain on your bare skin, let the mountains take the burden off your shoulders.” 
― Kiran Bisht

“The simple life is an authentic life.” 
― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

“The greatest life is the joy of contentment.” 
― Lailah Gifty Akita

“Real luxury is not working like a maniac to take an expensive vacation--it is living a life you enjoy every day.” 
― Kathy Gottberg, Rightsizing * a Smart Living 365 Guide to Reinventing Retirement

“When the living gets unburdened with needs and desires, the life becomes simple and easy to carry.” 
― Shashi, Songs of the Mist

This next collection I especially like because they come from what we would think of as a more simple time, some over a century ago, yet just as fitting today, if not more so...

1948. Jackie French Koller. “There are two ways to be rich: One is by acquiring much, and the other is by desiring little.”

1947. Linda Breen Pierce. “Simplicity involves unburdening your life, and living more lightly with fewer distractions that interfere with a high quality life, as defined uniquely by each individual.”

1943. Tenzin Palmo. “One of the advantages of being born in an affluent society is that if one has any intelligence at all, one will realize that having more and more won’t solve the problem, and happiness does not lie in possessions, or even relationships: The answer lies within ourselves. If we can’t find peace and happiness there, it’s not going to come from the outside.”

1940s. Duane Elgin. “The intention of voluntary simplicity is not to dogmatically live with less. It’s a more demanding intention of living with balance. This is a middle way that moves between the extremes of poverty and indulgence.”

1940s. Richard Foster. “We really must understand that the lust for affluence in contemporary society is psychotic. It is psychotic because it has completely lost touch with reality. We crave things we neither need nor enjoy.”

1899. Edwin Way Teale. “Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves.”

1886. Mies Van Der Rohe. “Less is more.” 

1879. Will Rogers. “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.”

1836. Anna C. Brackett. “We go on multiplying our conveniences only to multiply our cares. We increase our possessions only to the enlargement of our anxieties.”

1834. William Morris. “Have nothing in your homes that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”

Living Simply: Evaluate

How do you know if you're on the right track with simplifying your life? Here are a few ideas:

1.  Have you figured out what's most important to you? Keeping the roof over your head may seem like a practical goal, but what's important enough to you that you wanted to make a change in the first place? Is it to declutter your home? Is it to ease work anxiety? Is it to improve your health and add peace to your life? Is it to pursue a new career or hobby you "never had time" to chase before? Is it to simply spend more of your time with those you love most - like your spouse or significant other, your kids, or your closest circle of friends? Figure that out first. It's like the blueprint to figure out what fits into that "goal" (I hate to use that word from corporate America, but for explanation purposes it fits.) and what to remove from your life.

2.  How do you spend your time at work? Do you say yes to things you should say no to? This can be work-related or even just the after-work "join us for drinks" sessions you may want to drop/add depending on what you figured out in #1. 

3.  What about how you spend your time every day? Are you habitually late? Always too early? Do you climb into bed knowing too much went undone but you know you moved up a few levels on your favorite PC or video game? Do you climb into bed knowing you did all the important things intentionally, and so you don't have to feel guilty about the few things you did to unwind? Know where your time goes.

4.  How's your home life - busy or relaxing? Every day may be different, but in general, is it too busy at home or have you been able to make it into your retreat? Are there things you can delegate? Are there things that you really could let go of because they're not as important as your #1 values? Drop what you don't need. Include what's important. Find your balance.

5.  Have you decluttered your media? If you're storing things you'll never really need, let them go. If you have thousands of emails and an overstuffed "recycle bin" on your computer - time to let it go. Are there files from years ago you no longer need? Do you carry around apps with you that don't serve your intentional simple living plans? Delete it. Stacks of photos in a drawer? Scan them to a thumb drive.

6.  Have your shopping habits changed? Do you still mindlessly purchase things you see or do you now find yourself going to stores for something specific and being okay to wait on it if they don't have it? I've been in about 8 stores looking for a comforter or quilt that fits our bed (ordered a queen but coming from another country, it's the size of a U.S. full one, so it's too short and it drives me crazy every day. I won't buy one just because it's cheap, or "it's all they had". I will wait until I find the right one, at the right price, that brings me joy. 

7.  Are you working towards a healthier life? Are you eating at least a little better than before your journey? Are you getting in some walking or functional exercise? Getting fresh air now and then? Doing something physical instead of sedentary (think bowling instead of sitting at a movie eating junk)? Even if you can't stay on a totally healthy routine, can you eat just one off-plan meal a day? Or cut down to just one cheat day a week? Decide what your health is worth to you, and go earn it.

8.  Peace. Do you have it? Remember to take small breaks throughout the day to clear your head, get a change of scenery (even if it's just a walk from your cubicle to the bathroom). Are you getting to bed earlier enough that you can rest before having to wake up in the morning? Make time to recharge. Make time to rest your mind and your body when they need it. You'll end up more productive in the end. 

Hope this helps. Have a great week! 

Living Simply: Colleges are Feeding Mindless Consumerism

Not sure if I mentioned this, but I'm a full-time college student. I carry 5 classes, which is 15 hours of "seat time" and another 30 hours of homework per week. Yes, the teachers all made sure to remind us to expect 2 hours of homework for each in-class hour per week, so 6 hours a week per class. Anyway...

I have been pretty surprised that many of my classes require as a first assignment to be a written essay or speech to the class that has us bring in or display a slide show of OBJECTS that have INTENSE MEANING, or DEFINE WHO I AM, or HOLD THE MOST OR MOST IMPORTANT MEMORY for me. Really???!!! I've had to bring in something I supposedly collect, articles of clothing that are supposed to define me, photo collages of things that describe me...I wish I could get an A by handing in a blank piece of paper, or do a slideshow of blank slides, then give a speech or essay about how things don't do that for me, they don't define who I am, I am not represented by logos and brand names, and oh, for 5 minutes to publicly explain minimalism and intentional, simple living!!! Then I get to sit through classmates' stories about how they value their Gucci sweatshirt, their Louis Vuitton purses, or Michael Kors clothing, watches, etc.

I may get close next week. I told my teacher in public speaking that I'm a minimalist so I won't be able to truly do what she asked. I asked if I could bring in a photo of my capsule wardrobe, explain how I'm a minimalist, and why having a capsule wardrobe is more important to me than two closets full of clothes I've collected for decades. She's allowing it - so we'll see how she grades it.

My English teacher still hasn't graded my photo asking for a collage of meaningful things that describe me and it's been several weeks now. I'll give you the gist of it. Picture a bare metal, mirrored end table, against a stark white wall, reflecting a bible and a glass of water. It looked like a professionally done poster, and better than some of the other students who just piled stuff on a desk without any artistic effort. The glass I wrote is my "the glass is always more than half full" attitude and my faith is the most important thing to me. It's the foundation of my values, thoughts, and how I treat others as I go through this life. Simple. Intentional. Artistic. We'll see what she thinks.

For Communication I needed a slide show of 3 items complete with a detailed story of why those things are important. I brought in 3 baseball items (opening day ticket, season ticket holder pass, and a signed baseball). I turned it around though. I spoke of how baseball brought me and my daughter close at a tough time in her life. My speech was essentially about her and our relationship, while the things were just evidence of experiences we enjoyed together.

Can you imagine asking this in any other country than America? In many countries, the most important things are often the ONE pot the family's meals are cooked in, the ONE pair of shoes given at the right time, or the ONE book smuggled into an area where they are forbidden or not something that people can afford? Such materialism. It's so awful.

So here's a question for you:  If you had to write about, give a speech on, or display a slideshow of THINGS that are important to you, or define you...what would you do? It's hard when you know your memories are in your mind, not "in" the object. I'd love to hear from you on this one.

Living Simply: Now what?

Okay, so if you've decided it's worth living a more intentional, more simple, minimalist lifestyle...and you already get that there's going to be some de-cluttering, the big question is, "Now what?" It looks different for everyone based on personality, where you live, who you live with, the size of your household (you can't magically convert everyone else to your new lifestyle, so don't push them). Here are a few pointers though to get you started with a few baby steps:

1.  Take some scheduled time to figure out YOU. Who are you? What kind of person are you? Have you been doing what's important and what you like to do, or are you following what everyone else tells you that you should be doing? These questions will help you make important changes. Maybe you are right where you want to be, but maybe you know you're not in a good fit. Perhaps examining another field or occupation if it means living the life you know you want. Are you in a job you hate with no chance for advancement? Consider if school would help get you where you want to be. 

2.  What is your personality/temperament like? There are great books out there like Personality Plus, The 5 Love Languages, the D-I-S-C personality book, and more. Figure out what type of person you are as you go forward. Are you the life of the party, happy-go-lucky person? Are you the serious, organized, meticulous, planning type of person? Are you the easy-going person who never wants to be in charge but is happy to be a behind the scenes helper? Are you the take charge leader type? Can you see how knowing that may help you understand the type of job and life you want to lead? 

3.  What flaws in your life or personality might you want to work on to become better? Do you tend to interrupt others? habitually late? Bossy? Stubborn? Disorganized? A few baby steps may be taken to correct some of these things. You're no good to the world around you if you're part of the problem. 

4.  What are your priorities? Who are your priorities? It takes income to survive, and if you have a spouse or family depending on your, then don't quit your job to backpack across Europe. Maybe it's time to get to your kids' practices or games or recitals. Maybe it's time to schedule a once a week, or at least once a month, date nights with your spouse. Maybe paying off debt is the most important thing to less stress and anxiety so you can sleep better at night. Maybe it's all about spending less, buying only what you need and nothing more.

5.  Purge regularly - material possessions, I mean. Keep a box by the door, near the stairs, in the garage, etc. where you and your household can drop things to be donated. Throw out things you don't need as you come across them, like those old magazines you'll never read again. A few times a year (or seasonally) evaluate your closet. Get rid of what either doesn't fit or you aren't wearing because you don't like it anymore. Replace a few key pieces as needed to keep your wardrobe working for you - especially if it's a small capsule wardrobe with under 40 items.

6.  Detach from the objects you own. Giving emotional attachment to things instead of people is wrong, but it's what we're taught. Value people and appreciate them. Memories are in your mind, not in the things.

7.  Figure out what experiences and/or relationships you want to add to your life. Then make an intentional effort to do them and/or nurture them. Maybe it's to develop a friendship with other hikers or fisherman or yoga buddies? Maybe it's to travel with the person you love most? Maybe it's to learn a new skill? 

And don't be afraid to keep experimenting and defining who you are. It's a life-long process. Have fun with it! 

Living Simply: Unexpected Benefits

     There are so many benefits to minimalism and living more simply, but they may be more than you think. Everyone expects the neater home, the cleaner car, less clutter, getting rid of junk drawers and boxes with no idea what's in them. But what about those other benefits you may not be aware of? Here are a few I've found:

1.  Responding vs Reacting - When you're stressed out, there's a tendency to react emotionally or just give others the answer you know they want from you. You don't have time to think things through, balance them against other options, and intentionally decide what to do in any given circumstance. Your day is more even-keeled. You're off the emotional roller coaster most of the time. You're able to give a response to a problem or question and maintain your own priorities.

2.  Improving health - Reducing stress, tension, and anxiety can lead to better sleep, lower blood pressure, lower risks of heart-related diseases. A well balanced life helps you focus on eating better, building in practical exercise to your day or week. Less last minute junk food decisions. Less fast food drive thru trips. Planned meals and snacks more often. In the long run, you may end up much healthier.

3.  Better relationships - Once you intentionally decide how to spend your time, you can choose to be around people that will encourage you, add value to your life, and who mean the most to you. You also get to eliminate those toxic relationships that weigh you down and add stress and anxiety to your world. It's not selfish to protect and nurture your own self in your relationships. Just don't go overboard thinking no one else matters but you. That too has toxic consequences.

4.  Joy - Call it what you want: contentment, happiness, calmness, peace, or joy. It's the feeling that shows up practically every day when you're living the life you know you want to be living.

5.  Freedom -  I have told people that I feel more free than ever before but it's hard to put into words. I guess it's freedom from living the life other people tell me I should be living, freedom to make up my own mind and prioritize according to my purpose, not someone else's. There's also an aspect of money freedom once the debts are paid, and you're spending isn't out of control. That's when a lifestyle of giving back comes into play. You become free (and so does your money) so you can help those in need, or support causes and organizations you believe in.

Have a great week.

Living Simply: Declutter with the End in Mind

Recently I had a conversation with a few women about how their homes are filled with things they've accumulated over the years. Some of them have inherited their parent's things and their in-law's things along the way, too. If those people passed away tomorrow, then THEIR KIDS would end up with their own parents' things, their grandparents' things on both sides, plus whatever their family already possesses. Where does the storing and keeping and hoarding end?

What if instead, we all decluttered "with the end in mind". What if we went through the house, attic, garage, storage locker, spare rooms, and closets, and got rid of not only what we didn't want, but also things we knew our kids won't ever want either? We hold onto things that have been passed down but why? So often, you get to a generation that doesn't want or even like the item, they have no idea who that long-lost relative was, there's no connection. Too often, we try to maintain connections to people through material objects. We tend to think, "If we just keep that old thing that used to belong to so-and-so, we're keeping part of our heritage alive." But are we? What if instead, we keep them alive through stories, maybe a few photographs, a journal that tells who they really were and how they thought about things? If you're holding onto something that your own kids and grandkids don't want, let it go. If it's valuable, sell it. If it's only sentimental, donate it to a favorite cause or charity. Or give it away to someone you know would treasure it. But don't keep it just to keep it. Want to know a secret? The memories aren't really in the "thing". They're inside of you, in your mind, and in your heart.

I see Facebook posts from different antique companies. They ask questions to get comments out of people. They say how beautiful it is, it's an antique, and they ask if you'd want to keep it forever or get rid of it. If it serves no purpose and can't be passed on, then do you really need to keep it? Now if antiques are your thing and you love being surrounded by beautiful old-timey furniture and things, then that's fine. But don't make it someone else's job to sell it all off in a long weekend yard sale for a few dollars just to get rid of it. Enjoy it for a while - then move it to someone who can also treasure it for a while. What else will happen if you do that? You may be able to avoid getting caught up in your emotions of loving it and can avoid paying too much for it. Most people over-pay because of an on-the-spot, emotional decision - and within a few short years, they walk by the precious item without another thought. It just becomes another part of the background.

Maybe you could even ask your kids (this works best if they're already adults) what they DO want to keep when you're gone, you could put a sticker on the bottom of it with their name or something, then everyone is okay with letting go of the rest of it. It's so sad to see family members grieving the worst loss of their life and having to deal with an overwhelming amount of stuff, feeling guilty if they don't keep useless things that belonged to the person. They shouldn't have to deal with something like material stuff. Value people and use things, because the opposite never works.

As you declutter this week, this month, this year, whatever pace you're at...declutter with the end in mind.

Living Simply: Other Blogs on Minimalism

Today I want to add value to your life by simply sharing other people's ideas and blogs with you regarding minimalism and living simply. Enjoy them this weekend!

1.  How Not to Do It All, by Leo Babauta on his blog Zen Habits:

     Zen Habits

2.  Building a Capsule Wardrobe, by Caroline Rector on her blog UN-FANCY

     UN-Fancy

3.  Be More With Less by Courtney Carver

     Be More with Less

4.  Becoming Minimalist by Joshua Becker

     Becoming Minimalist

5.  Practising Simplicity by Jodi (She's in Australia)

     Practising Simplicity

6.  The Minimalists: Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus

     The Minimalists

Living Simply: Saving Money

Part of living a more simple life involves not being stressed out about finances. Not everyone comes to minimalism or living simply on a level playing field. Some start out in lots of debt and need to figure out how to get out of it. The average person comes with some debt, not too much, typically with a car payment, some credit card debt, maybe a loan or two. In some rare cases, a few manage to get here when they are already debt-free. No matter where you're starting, there's things you can do to simplify your life and reduce anxiety.
Here's some money-saving ideas:

1.  Work. If you've got mounds of debt, you need full-time work, or possibly a second part-time job if you can't make ends meet with one. There's the possibility of moving to a better-paying job for some, but I realize that's not always the case.

2.  Living Expenses. Are you in a position to downsize? Take in a roommate (even temporarily) in a spare room? Would it be cheaper to buy instead of rent, or vice versa, in your area?

3.  Monthly Expenses. What can you do to limit your water, electric, phone, and other utility bills? Maybe taking shorter showers would reduce water bills? Turning the thermostat down in winter/up in summer while everyone's gone during the day would save on your electricity/gas/oil bill.  If you're not under contract, you could switch phone plans, for example, we use Straight Talk through WalMart. They have plans from $35 to about $55/month depending on how much data you do/don't use. No contracts, and they use the same towers as Verizon, Sprint, T-Mobile, and other big name companies, it just depends on the phone usually, and often you can bring whatever phone you already have to the program. You renew each month either automatically on a regular schedule or call in or do it online. It's very easy. You could cut back on your cable/satellite stations. With so much available online and on Netflix/Hulu/Amazon Prime, etc., sports is the only thing you can't find. Local stuff is usually available easily enough through the channel's website and apps.

4.  Cooking/Baking. Making meals at home saves lots of money compared to eating out, even if it's not every day. Every meal in a restaurant will include a percentage of the cost in taxes, drinks are usually $2.50 for non-alcoholic drinks and no limit on those with alcohol. You are expected to tip 15-20% to your server. Desserts are usually at least $5 and ranging up over $10 sometimes, and that's for the average-priced places. A family of 4 could save $50 just in the above mentioned things!

5.  Cleaning Products. You probably have many "free" ones in your home already: baking soda, vinegar, bleach, etc. Another alternative is to purchase them from a dollar store. Usually you can save on things like bowl cleaner, bathroom cleaner, glass cleaner, etc. because the brand name ones are often double or even triple the price.

6.  Groupon. If you want to go out to dinner or to do an activity for a special occasion, try searching places like Groupon.com for deals in your area. Many times you can save quite a bit on something you were going to do anyway.

7.  Work from home. Can you do or learn to do something that you can make money with from home? No extra commuting, no extra lunches, no new outfit for it. Can you bake? decorate cakes? Babysit? Coach? Sew? Do hair for friends and family? Run errands? Walk dogs? Help a friend's business as a part-time bookkeeper? Do taxes for a friend? Give music lessons? Freelance writer or photographer? Clean homes? Plan events? Tutoring? Fitness Coach? Be creative. Whatever you can do or are trained to do, even if you haven't done it in a while, you can use to your advantage and help someone pay a little less for it too.

Once you get the extra money coming in, pay off your smallest debt first. Once that's gone, apply whatever you WERE paying to it, plus a new payment to the next smallest debt. For example, if you used to pay $50/month for a credit card with $500 on it, pay it with every extra penny until it's gone. Then do the same with the next debt, say another card with $1000 on it where you've been paying $75/month but also add the $50 you no longer need to pay the first one. Now your payment isn't just $75, it's $125/month, and will get paid off much faster. Once that's gone, maybe you want to pay off a car or loan. If your payment on it is $200/month, still make that but add the $50 and the $75 from the other 2 that you paid off. Now your payment is up to $325/month until it's paid off. This is call the debt snowball paying off method. You can do this.

Living Simply: What it's NOT

In trying to live a life more simply, I tend to find so many blogs and websites dedicated to the lowest class of 18th century agrarian living. That's just not feasible for most people, and let's face it, it's not even something enjoyable to many people. I want to simplify my life, but not by being a 12 hour a day, 7 days a week farmer with a barnyard of animals to care for and maintain. If some people want to live off the land, quit their jobs, and do that, more power to them, but I don't want people to think that's how it HAS to be. If you hate your job, and want to escape from it all, great. You're living intentionally.
Just know that it doesn't have to be so primal to be a simple life.

What are some more realistic, modern ideas about simple living?

1.  Work at a job or business you love for a reasonable number of hours.

2.  Surround yourself not with only the things that bring you value or joy, letting go of the rest, but not necessarily counting how many items you own. Not everyone wants to own only what fits in a backpack.

3.  Perhaps not buying the newest expensive luxury car, but a reasonable one and still using either public transportation, walking, or biking to save on money and the environment, and getting a little functional fitness in as well.

4.  Cooking a few healthy, homemade meals a week yourself instead of fast food stops and eating oversized, overpriced, sodium and sugar laden restaurant meals every night.

5.  Make time for centering yourself, meditation, breathing, stretching, relaxing your mind and body.

6.  Take time to evaluate your life on a regular basis. What needs are/aren't being met? How are you spending your time? What's missing? Is what you're doing working?

7.  Relationships. This can be as a couple, with friends, being involved in the community, and if you enjoy your work, it could include doing things with your coworkers that you like. No one grows and learns as a hermit.

So whether you live in an RV, a tiny home, a trailer, a rented room in another's house, a dormitory, an apartment, a condo or duplex, or a traditional home, you can live more intentionally and more simply. What that looks like for YOU is your decision. Don't keep doing what you hate simply because you feel pressure to live up to someone else's standard.

Living Simply: When Something Goes Wrong

I want to be serious today. Sometimes life hits us with unexpected obstacles. It may be a cancer diagnosis, a breakup, a spouse asking for a divorce, a child who ended up in jail for breaking the law, an accident that left you in a physical state worse off than before it happened, loss of a loved one, and so many other things.

I won't pretend that in someone else's shoes (or even in my own under those circumstances) the answer is a flippant "everything will be okay", because I know, sometimes it isn't. So what do you do when you first get the news?

The first thing to do is stop. Breathe. Again...You need to take a minute to clear your head. Jumping in without all the information or thinking it through can lead to some seriously bad emotional decisions. It can cause even more anxiety, some of which may not be completely necessary. It can affect those counting on you who may or may not know what you're dealing with today. Where do you begin to work your way through and untangle the mess? I don't have all the answers, but I may have a few ideas that can help in the meantime.

1.  Ask yourself what you absolutely DO have control of. Maybe it's nothing more than your next breath, as when you lose someone you love. Maybe you only have control over what you do or don't say to those around you - and more importantly - to yourself. Don't condemn yourself for things that were beyond your control to begin with! Are there steps to take? Questions to ask? Things that will need to be done immediately? Decisions that must be made right now? Or in many serious cases, there's a waiting period. Isn't waiting the hardest thing to do? Too much time to think up the worst case scenarios and bury yourself in far too many questions simply because you don't have enough information yet. Do what needs to be done right now, and don't let what needs to happen "next" remove you from everything else going in around you today.

2.  Figure out what you DON'T have any control over. If you can muster the strength, can you simply do what needs to be done and let go of everything that won't be possible to fix until some time in the future? Please try to understand that if you're waiting for additional information, or tests, or to talk to someone, don't spend every minute torturing yourself until then. Try to move through the rest of your day until it's time to take the next step. If you're truly in mourning, then you need to take this time processing your thoughts, feelings, maybe find someone you trust to comfort you. All you may be able to do right now is just breathe deeply, over and over, and that's okay too.

3.  When you have more information, then try to work through some type of plan, or step by step list of things that have to be done. Get someone to help so you remember it all. Just don't try to do this step without enough information. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't think the worst until you know for sure what's what.

4.  Lastly, get some support from someone you trust to keep your conversation a secret. Find someone you know has their head on straight - even if that's not your usual best friend, relative, or spouse. Sometimes you need someone who's distant from the situation to see things more clearly. Whether you need advice or just need someone to listen while you unload your feelings, don't go through whatever it is alone. It's a big world with billions of people. There's someone out there that will listen. If not, message me. I'm here.

Hold on, find peace and comfort.

Living Simply: Prevent Getting Sick

This year, we're being told that the flu virus is up over 500% from the norm. Many people who get a cold find it just about goes away, but due to an impaired immune system, they end up with what they think is a "Round 2" of the cold, when really it's things like sinus and ear infections, bronchitis, and other more serious illnesses. If you've been fortunate enough not to get sick (that's no one I can think of), here's a few tips to prevent getting sick. Obviously everyone's immune system is different and is exposed to different things, but these tips will significantly reduce your chances of catching something.

1.  Wash your clothes in hot water and/or bleach (depending on if it's whites, you buy a bleach for colored clothes like Chlorox 2, etc.). Clothing can carry harmful things like salmonella, hepatitus, and other viruses. Most people don't use hot water anymore, and don't use bleach regularly. If you aren't able to do either, dry clothes for over 20 minutes, that can kill germs too.

2.  Disinfect your kitchen sinks and counters with disinfectant wipes (or sprays if that's all you have). Use paper towels instead of sponges or dishrags to clean. Microwave, soak in bleach, or run your sponges through the dishwasher to kill germs.

3.  Use hand sanitizer for your commuting, working, and running errands. You touch the same things many others touch every day, from buses, door handles, elevator buttons, computers, phones, and more to the things like shopping carts, ATM machines, the pay machine keypads at the store checkout counters. Keep your hands sanitized. The people before you may not have been careful at all about spreading their cold germs.

4.  Hang your purses and bags on bathroom stall hooks. Do NOT put them on the floor - don't put them on restaurant floors either! You'd be disgusted to find out how much fecal matter has been found to be on the bottom of the average person's bags.

5.  In restaurants, if you have access to disinfectant wipes, swipe your table and chair. Often the chairs aren't done more than once a day most places.

Living Simply: Joy in living simply

When many people hear the word Minimalism or hear someone talk about living a simplified life, they will often immediately picture someone with unkempt hair, growing their own fruits and vegetables out in the woods somewhere, in a shack that's barely bigger than an outhouse, and nothing inside - like the abandoned shack people stumble upon in movies. Nothing could be further from modern simple living for most people. Here's a way to find JOY in intentional, simplified living:

1.  Don't think about just removing everything from your home or office. Instead, think about what surrounds you that you really love, enjoy, or brings value to your life. What makes it feel like it's truly "your" space? For example, let's say you own 100 movies. Do you find yourself not watching 80% of them? Then get rid of them. Donate, give them away, or throw them out. Do you have a bunch of mismatched dishes and glasses from different sets over the past few decades? Keep what you love and ditch the rest. Too many sheet sets? Keep maybe 1 or 2 per bed, and a spare set for either traveling or unexpected guests. Toss the rest. I had an overgrown collection of baseball stuff from out local MLB team. I kept the pieces I really enjoy and donated the rest.

2.  Check out modern minimalism. Spend some leisure time on Pinterest, YouTube, Netflix documentaries, etc. and see how others are simplifying their life. Even if you never want to be a true "minimalist" you may pick up some ideas or inspiration to create a better, simple life. Figure out what colors, styles, textures, that you love. Figure out what you hate. Make your space reflect who you are.

3.  Seek quality over quantity. Instead of hundreds of pieces of inexpensive, poorly-made items that aren't really bringing value to your life, invest in a few quality pieces, whether it's clothing, furniture, decor, art, etc. so that what you do have is what you love, and it'll last a long time, saving money over the long haul.

It's hard to explain, but once you get a little ways down the road on this journey, you'll discover that you feel less anxiety, have more mental clarity, and you'll begin to really enjoy slowing the pace of your life. Instead of wasting time and money shopping for things you don't need (but are told by advertisers you do), you'll free up both to do more of what you enjoy - getaways, time for friends/family, or just alone time to decompress and recharge. This could turn out to be the best year of your life, a real turning point for the better, if you intentionally make the right decisions in 2018.