Thanksgiving morning we woke up to a dusting of snow. We knew there was a chance and Jordan's been waiting for weeks! I wasn't as disappointed in the snow as I thought I'd be, maybe just because it was the first of the season. It actually did look pretty on the bushes and on Cinder Mountain. The strange thing is that because we're surrounded by fields of tall grass, it looked like it ONLY snowed in our yard. The white of the snow against the bright yellow of the grass looked very strange and unnatural too. They say the grasses will die off soon and it'll look "normal", but you just don't expect to see those two colors next to each other in nature.
Just a night or two before, Jordan got to decorate the Christmas tree all by herself for the first time ever. She chose to use our Victorian ornaments collection. I've been collecting them for about 18 years now. I usually buy 1 new one a year, Tim's Mom buys me a few most years, and if I get something from my usual Ladies' Bible Study Christmas gift exchange, that goes on the tree, too. The tree came out very nice and she managed to get the lights on and more even than I ever did. We all listened to hours of our Transiberian Orchestra Christmas CDs too.
Thanksgiving dinner wasn't quite what I expected. Maybe it's all the stuff from this past year that led up to it. It went okay, but it was very - uneventful. Mom, Jordan and I cooked for the past 2 days getting ready, but when it came right down to it, we went upstairs, everybody ate as quickly as they normally do, then Tim & his father decided to have all the guys spend 3 hours cutting brush and stacking wood they'd hauled in the day before. No family gathering time, hardly any conversation after eating, no celebration type of feeling...While the guys were working, Jordan and I returned to our kitchen and proceeded to clean for the next two hours. Mom picked up her own kitchen and rested upstairs from being on her feet all morning.
We did get to have our friend Carol spend the meal with us, though. Scott was out of town so we had her join us. After we cleaned, Jordan & I went back upstairs to Mom's and spent about an hour enjoying conversation with her and Carol. That was the highlight of the day.
After working, the guys were sore and tired, so Tim & I watched Turner & Hooch, then Uncle Buck while the kids did their own thing (we don't have any TV stations here). Then we went to bed pretty early. I really hope Christmas is better. I hope to experience the joy, the peace, the magical feel of the holiday. We'll attend the local parade and hope to find some church programs to go to. We're not very commercial when it comes to Christmas anyway, so I hope the meaning isn't lost this year either. We won't be able to buy gifts this year, but we'll bake and cook and make what we can for those closest to us. It's not about the "stuff", it never has been. I just want so much for my children, and I feel like the past year's been a real let-down for them. I do hope they at least will learn from this experience about not feeling so secure in "a good job", will save even more than we did, and understand giving doesn't stop just because times are tight. I hope they learn that faith and family are most important.
All in all, I'm still thankful that our family is warm, dry, indoors, clothed, fed and together. It's enough.
