According to statistics just released earlier this month, Americans check their cell phones 110 times a day on average, which means although you may be one of the few that check it less than that, there are many others who check it much more than that! Why are we addicted to our cell phones? Does it make us feel connected by reading strangers' posts? Does it make us feel more important if something we post gets enough "likes" or "shares"? Have our attention spans gotten so short that we can't sit still for 3 minutes without pulling out our phones, ESPECIALLY WHILE DRIVING!!! But that's for another post someday.
We in America have become so addicted that the statistics are terrifying, according to one article (of many):
10 Terrifying statistics about cell phone addiction
How can you learn to live simply when you complicate your life on purpose this way? Today's challenge is to shut off notifications. I know the first objections will be things like, "I need it for work." That's not what I mean. I mean shut off notifications on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, or whatever other social media you're on. You can still make a point to go to that app and use it, but you don't need it to make your phone go off every few minutes all day long when most of it is frivolous stuff - things like notifications telling you someone "liked" your post, or some product or company just posted on their page, or a friend of a friend commented on something you posted a week ago. Let it go. Turn them off for a day.
What about if we turned our phones completely off either while driving to our next destination, or else during the next time we sit down to eat with our family, friends, or relatives? You know what? There are still millions of us around who've lived long enough to remember life before cell phones. I know this will be hard for people under 30 to believe, but we still managed to get where we were going. We knew how to have conversations. We went to gatherings and parties and barbecues without wondering who was commenting on something someone else said who wasn't even there. We at dinner without interruptions, and if the house phone did ring, you let it go to the answering machine. People waited in line at the grocery store for 5 minutes without having to see what was going on in Beyonce's life (or whoever was popular at the time). People took their toddlers to the park and WATCHED them, interacted with them, instead of now how they let them run off while they stare at their phone screen. We found ways to kill time in doctor's offices and dentist offices - we read books, or did crossword puzzles, or talked to people around us. We did things to make us smarter. I cringe at the whole attitude of "here's my mind, fill it with whatever you want, entertain me!"
I'm not against cell phones but to live simply, you have to see it differently. It's a tool. If my car breaks down, I have it to call for help. If I need to tell someone I'm running late (before I leave or after I pull over somewhere), then fine. If I need a map because I'm not in a city laid out in a grid with major intersections for markers, great. But my phone is for MY convenience. It's not for everyone in the world who wants to call me, not for telemarketers to sell me things, not for strangers to notify me of things unsolicited. It's for ME. It's so I can speak to those closest to me and they can reach me when they need to, or during the only time they have to speak to me because of their job.
Take a day and shut off your notifications. See what a day is like when you finally pick your head up and look around. See the beauty in nature around you, the architecture in the buildings you pass, the faces of the people you often ignore as they serve you your food, or coffee, or ring up your purchases. Treat people like they're more important than scrolling through social media, because they are.
Like you always hear from The Minimalists, Joshua Fields Milburne and Ryan Nicodemus, "Love people and use things because the opposite never works."
Saturday, July 29, 2017
Friday, July 28, 2017
Minimalism Challenge Day 28: Let Go of a Goal
In this crazy busy world of goal-setting gurus offering to help make you rich by reaching your goals for internet traffic to your site, or by using sales strategies, or fitness challenges, why would I want to "let go of a goal"? Here's why:
Although I am a list-maker, planner, and I'm very organized, I don't necessarily need traditional goals for what I do. I could set goals for how many books to read in a year, or how many pounds to lose in a set time frame, or a date in the future to see all 50 states, etc., but why? As I'm learning to live simply I need to figure out what's most important to me, what adds value to my life, and how to live intentionally and purposefully. Yes, I'm following a minimalist mindset now but it's not about the number of items you own, it's about intentionally living out your passion and purpose. To do that, I need to be able to let go of goals OTHER PEOPLE think I should have. Just spend a few minutes reading articles on any media platform and you'll see all kinds of things you "should" be doing. You should read more, workout until you're punishing your body, have face to face conversations with everyone you call a friend or relative, use the latest apps, watch the most popular shows, buy the latest thing, move towards a bigger house, consider buying the most expensive cars advertised, buy thousands of dollars worth of gifts for holidays (think: He went to Jared!), be on a monthly standing order for everything from shoes and clothes to toys for your pet, get your food ordered through a service that shows up weekly, start a blog, start a business from home, spend more quality time parenting, check out your local attractions, have date night with your spouse or partner, pray more, volunteer more, donate more, get involved in civic organizations, write your congressmen, and the list goes on forever. We can't do it all. While none of these things are necessarily bad in and of themselves (although some I would argue do more harm than good), you need to figure out what your responsibilities really are for you and your family, what adds value to your life, and what passions you'd like to pursue. You should make personal time for those closest to you but not everyone you know at the expense of those you love. If you're responsible for the roof over your family's head, then quitting work to pursue a hobby like fishing isn't what we're talking about here. If you're responsible for handling the finances of your household, then pursuing traveling around the world on credit cards isn't the answer. There is a balance, a way to live simply, and it involves getting rid of the "extra" stuff in your life - that can mean clutter, wardrobe, activities, or just saying no to things that you don't have to say yes to because others expect it.
I will be going back to college in a few weeks so what am I letting go of today? I'm letting go of the number of books I think I need to read. I'll keep reading as aggressively as time and desire allow, but when I need to be reading my textbooks instead, I'll let go of the normal guilt associated with that. Yes, I feel guilty whenever I'm not trying to better myself. I've spent the last 45 years or so always feeling I had to prove myself, or validate that I'm important. I've been told throughout the years, in many ways, that if you don't bring in a paycheck you're not valuable, you're not as important, or your time is not as important. I'm done with that. What I do and have done for the past 2 to 3 decades has been very important in the lives of others. I no longer need to worry about what others think of how I spend my time. At almost 50 years old, I'm a grown up and I will decide what's best for me.
Another goal I'm letting go of is learning Spanish (for now). It's getting changed from a goal to a hobby. I hate the guilt associated when I feel I'm "falling behind where I should be" because other things are more urgent and important. If it's a hobby, it can be enjoyable again. No one wants to start hating something they took on because they wanted the fun adventure of it. As a hobby, I'll continue to pursue it, but only when it becomes that day's important/passion thing.
Trim Healthy Mama is the eating plan I use. The best lesson it taught me is that setting goals of numbers on the scale just leads to frustration and quitting in most cases. It's more about health, strength, endurance, stabilizing blood sugar levels, avoiding sugar, gluten, and artificial chemicals & sweeteners. I have seen hundreds of cases now where 3 or more women weight the exact same amount on a scale and look totally different because of how they carry it, how tall they are, etc. I don't care what number the scale says or doesn't say if I'm healthier and dropping sizes. I have gone down 3 sizes and never saw a single pound come off the scale. I've also had 15 pounds drop off yet my normal size was getting tight from bloating eating prepackaged or restaurant foods too often. I let go of pound goals. I do keep track for health's sake but it's not a goal, no set date in mind, I just try to live simply - taking one day at a time, making good decisions on food and workouts every day instead of cramming for a date/number.
What goals did you set that may not truly reflect something that adds value or joy to your life? What should you let go of to be happier without losing focus on the important?
Although I am a list-maker, planner, and I'm very organized, I don't necessarily need traditional goals for what I do. I could set goals for how many books to read in a year, or how many pounds to lose in a set time frame, or a date in the future to see all 50 states, etc., but why? As I'm learning to live simply I need to figure out what's most important to me, what adds value to my life, and how to live intentionally and purposefully. Yes, I'm following a minimalist mindset now but it's not about the number of items you own, it's about intentionally living out your passion and purpose. To do that, I need to be able to let go of goals OTHER PEOPLE think I should have. Just spend a few minutes reading articles on any media platform and you'll see all kinds of things you "should" be doing. You should read more, workout until you're punishing your body, have face to face conversations with everyone you call a friend or relative, use the latest apps, watch the most popular shows, buy the latest thing, move towards a bigger house, consider buying the most expensive cars advertised, buy thousands of dollars worth of gifts for holidays (think: He went to Jared!), be on a monthly standing order for everything from shoes and clothes to toys for your pet, get your food ordered through a service that shows up weekly, start a blog, start a business from home, spend more quality time parenting, check out your local attractions, have date night with your spouse or partner, pray more, volunteer more, donate more, get involved in civic organizations, write your congressmen, and the list goes on forever. We can't do it all. While none of these things are necessarily bad in and of themselves (although some I would argue do more harm than good), you need to figure out what your responsibilities really are for you and your family, what adds value to your life, and what passions you'd like to pursue. You should make personal time for those closest to you but not everyone you know at the expense of those you love. If you're responsible for the roof over your family's head, then quitting work to pursue a hobby like fishing isn't what we're talking about here. If you're responsible for handling the finances of your household, then pursuing traveling around the world on credit cards isn't the answer. There is a balance, a way to live simply, and it involves getting rid of the "extra" stuff in your life - that can mean clutter, wardrobe, activities, or just saying no to things that you don't have to say yes to because others expect it.
I will be going back to college in a few weeks so what am I letting go of today? I'm letting go of the number of books I think I need to read. I'll keep reading as aggressively as time and desire allow, but when I need to be reading my textbooks instead, I'll let go of the normal guilt associated with that. Yes, I feel guilty whenever I'm not trying to better myself. I've spent the last 45 years or so always feeling I had to prove myself, or validate that I'm important. I've been told throughout the years, in many ways, that if you don't bring in a paycheck you're not valuable, you're not as important, or your time is not as important. I'm done with that. What I do and have done for the past 2 to 3 decades has been very important in the lives of others. I no longer need to worry about what others think of how I spend my time. At almost 50 years old, I'm a grown up and I will decide what's best for me.
Another goal I'm letting go of is learning Spanish (for now). It's getting changed from a goal to a hobby. I hate the guilt associated when I feel I'm "falling behind where I should be" because other things are more urgent and important. If it's a hobby, it can be enjoyable again. No one wants to start hating something they took on because they wanted the fun adventure of it. As a hobby, I'll continue to pursue it, but only when it becomes that day's important/passion thing.
Trim Healthy Mama is the eating plan I use. The best lesson it taught me is that setting goals of numbers on the scale just leads to frustration and quitting in most cases. It's more about health, strength, endurance, stabilizing blood sugar levels, avoiding sugar, gluten, and artificial chemicals & sweeteners. I have seen hundreds of cases now where 3 or more women weight the exact same amount on a scale and look totally different because of how they carry it, how tall they are, etc. I don't care what number the scale says or doesn't say if I'm healthier and dropping sizes. I have gone down 3 sizes and never saw a single pound come off the scale. I've also had 15 pounds drop off yet my normal size was getting tight from bloating eating prepackaged or restaurant foods too often. I let go of pound goals. I do keep track for health's sake but it's not a goal, no set date in mind, I just try to live simply - taking one day at a time, making good decisions on food and workouts every day instead of cramming for a date/number.
What goals did you set that may not truly reflect something that adds value or joy to your life? What should you let go of to be happier without losing focus on the important?
Thursday, July 27, 2017
Minimalist Challenge Day 27: Clean out a junk drawer
Next I went through the cards I kept in my drawer. I don't save every card, but I do have about a dozen or so favorites with personal notes written in them, or given to me by a special group of ladies who each wrote something for my birthdays, or ones where Tim wrote something in it, and a few I just love. I keep one from my Grandmother because it's from her and one of the last ones where she could still see well enough to write something. I tossed the ones I didn't need to keep.
I then went through miscellaneous stuff like old cell phones and chargers, cameras, candles, and other trinkets I'd been holding onto. None of it brings value to my life nor joy anymore. They've been replaced by better ones over the years, so most of that went too. Now I have so little in there, it can coexist with my socks and stuff like that in one drawer. In fact, both my husband and I pared down our dresser drawers so much that we each now only use a 3-drawer dresser each, and emptied both of our tall 5-drawer dressers to give to my mother when she moves in this fall. That's it - 3 drawers, and about 30 hanging items in the closet - I own no other clothes and it makes getting dressed so much easier. I like almost everything I own, I'll replace a few things, like getting rid of an outdated formal dress to buy a newer one (probably at a discount or thrift clothing store, or on clearance), and I'd like to add one casual dress in place of a pair of pants and a shirt.
I suppose most people's junk drawers are in the kitchen, right? Ours used to be. In it there's usually pens, rubber bands, screwdrivers and pliers, loose nails and screws, bread ties, twist ties, fast food sauce and condiment packets, odd little plastic things we don't remember what they go to but they might be important "some day", etc. Other than holding onto maybe a few working writing utensils, a few rubber bands, putting tools where they belong, the rest usually can be thrown out. It's just a bunch of junk we throw in a drawer instead of in the trash, and we almost never get back to it. One of the best rules I've heard from The Minimalists is the 20/20 rule: If you can replace it for under $20 in under 20 minutes, toss it. (Maybe you'd make it a 30/30 rule or something if you live 30 miles from the nearest town?)
What will you toss out of your junk drawer? If not today, can you get to it this weekend? Can you start the new month with less? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Wednesday, July 26, 2017
Minimalism Challenge Day 26: Identify your stress triggers
So 26 days into this Minimalism challenge I find myself living move simply, more relaxed, more at peace, yet still productive. It's possible to be less busy but still get everything done you need to, so I guess I cut out wasted time, or said no to things I would've said yes to, or just stayed more focused on the important things.
Today's challenge is to identify your stress triggers. I will say, about 6 months ago, I had a lot of them. Now that I'm living intentionally, I actually find myself less stressed. It wasn't as easy to find stress triggers today. Granted, I'm at a point where my entire family is not home almost every day, or at least most of the day when they are here, so I have an unusual amount of alone time - first time in my life, really, and I'm so enjoying the quiet times.
The challenge is still there so let's get to it. Here's my top 3, but not necessarily in any particular order:
1. People who carelessly waste my time - I've mentioned this in an earlier post. I understand if things get delayed, or post-poned, or are running late, but it's the CARELESS wasting of my time that causes me stress. If I'm your customer, don't ignore me while you stand there having a personal conversation with another employee or texting on your phone. I came to you for a purpose, with cash to trade for a service or product. I did not show up to lose an extra 10 minutes because you're bored so you're talking about your last day off or upcoming weekend or where you went out with your friends - as I stand there waiting. You get the idea.
2. Bad drivers - There's no way to express how much this one gets to me, although I AM working on letting a lot of it go, but I'm not there yet. Don't cut across 3 lanes of traffic at the last possible second to make an exit you knew was coming up ten minutes ago. Don't change lanes to get 6" in front of me when there wasn't anyone in your lane in front of you, nor the lane on the other side of you. Don't drift into my lane and almost hit me because you're staring at your phone screen instead of paying attention to driving. Don't slam on your breaks on the highway, almost totaling my car, when traffic comes to a stop because you again, were looking at your phone and didn't realize we were all going 30 mph instead of 75 mph like you were. I don't mind slow drivers, I can just go around, passing on the LEFT which is legal. DON'T pass on the RIGHT, ever!
3. Changing my "schedule" over and over - I'm getting better with this one, but it's always been a pet peeve and here's why: I've stated before, I'm a planner. I'm a thinker and an over-thinker. If I have a schedule, it's been thought through. I've taken lots of things into consideration you don't know about. I have to work around other things you again, know nothing about. Don't tell me what time to expect you, or meet you somewhere, and then change your plans randomly, for no other reason other than you just felt like doing something different, then call and expect me to immediately drop everything and leave now.
Disclaimer #1: My husband has every right to do this to me any time he needs to. He cannot predict what day or time he'll need to be picked up because his schedule is dictated by weather, his job, traffic, responsibilities, and other things beyond his control. He's learned to be very respectful of my time by giving me a ballpark day & time to pick him up for his weekend off, then update me as the day goes on so I know more and more accurately how the day will unfold. This allows me to readjust my own responsibilities so we are synchronized. And I appreciate it so much!
As for everyone else, be respectful of my time. If you know you'll be here a week in advance, and want to stop in, call me so I can be here. If you know you told me you'd be here at 4 pm and you left hours earlier and will be here 3 hours early, let me know 3 hours earlier that plans changed. Please don't call and say you're on your way and will be here unexpectedly in 10 minutes. It's not fair to me and it adds a lot of stress to an organized person.
Disclaimer #2: My in-laws are the exception to this. They are 200 miles, 3 1/2 hours away. Anything can happen from traffic jams, to a cancelled meeting near me, etc. so if they didn't know they'd have time to stop by and suddenly they do - they're welcome to stop in and I'll try my best to be here. Our family is so grateful for all they've done through the years, especially in our most dire of circumstances, that they get a free pass on this one.
Old pet peeves I used to have that I've learned to let go of (I think) are things like the old lady counting out her pennies at the grocery store because her purse is "too heavy" when she's got a wad of bills in her hand and there's 6 people behind her waiting in the only open lane. I still am in shock when people speak their minds without any thought of how what they say makes them look or others feel. You've seen the YouTube videos gone viral of rants, people who freak out on employees, and you've been at the party where someone loudly yells at and insults another guest in front of everyone making everyone there uncomfortable. I still don't like it, but it doesn't stress me out anymore. I still don't like traffic jams that are caused by people staring at a car pulled over with a flat tire like it's some life threatening multi vehicle homicide scene, backing up traffic for 6 exits. I don't like it, but I'm not yelling at everyone to "Come on! Go!" anymore. I used to get stressed over getting home and finding out something I paid for at the store is not in my bag when I get home. It's usually some item under $3 and my time is worth more than that, so I let it go.
What kinds of things do you get stressed over? Are they something that won't even matter a year from now? Will it matter a month from now? Will it matter a day from now? Will it even matter in just 5 minutes from now? Then stop stressing and let it go. Learn to live simply and you'll find the peace you've been missing in your life.
Today's challenge is to identify your stress triggers. I will say, about 6 months ago, I had a lot of them. Now that I'm living intentionally, I actually find myself less stressed. It wasn't as easy to find stress triggers today. Granted, I'm at a point where my entire family is not home almost every day, or at least most of the day when they are here, so I have an unusual amount of alone time - first time in my life, really, and I'm so enjoying the quiet times.
The challenge is still there so let's get to it. Here's my top 3, but not necessarily in any particular order:
1. People who carelessly waste my time - I've mentioned this in an earlier post. I understand if things get delayed, or post-poned, or are running late, but it's the CARELESS wasting of my time that causes me stress. If I'm your customer, don't ignore me while you stand there having a personal conversation with another employee or texting on your phone. I came to you for a purpose, with cash to trade for a service or product. I did not show up to lose an extra 10 minutes because you're bored so you're talking about your last day off or upcoming weekend or where you went out with your friends - as I stand there waiting. You get the idea.
2. Bad drivers - There's no way to express how much this one gets to me, although I AM working on letting a lot of it go, but I'm not there yet. Don't cut across 3 lanes of traffic at the last possible second to make an exit you knew was coming up ten minutes ago. Don't change lanes to get 6" in front of me when there wasn't anyone in your lane in front of you, nor the lane on the other side of you. Don't drift into my lane and almost hit me because you're staring at your phone screen instead of paying attention to driving. Don't slam on your breaks on the highway, almost totaling my car, when traffic comes to a stop because you again, were looking at your phone and didn't realize we were all going 30 mph instead of 75 mph like you were. I don't mind slow drivers, I can just go around, passing on the LEFT which is legal. DON'T pass on the RIGHT, ever!
3. Changing my "schedule" over and over - I'm getting better with this one, but it's always been a pet peeve and here's why: I've stated before, I'm a planner. I'm a thinker and an over-thinker. If I have a schedule, it's been thought through. I've taken lots of things into consideration you don't know about. I have to work around other things you again, know nothing about. Don't tell me what time to expect you, or meet you somewhere, and then change your plans randomly, for no other reason other than you just felt like doing something different, then call and expect me to immediately drop everything and leave now.
Disclaimer #1: My husband has every right to do this to me any time he needs to. He cannot predict what day or time he'll need to be picked up because his schedule is dictated by weather, his job, traffic, responsibilities, and other things beyond his control. He's learned to be very respectful of my time by giving me a ballpark day & time to pick him up for his weekend off, then update me as the day goes on so I know more and more accurately how the day will unfold. This allows me to readjust my own responsibilities so we are synchronized. And I appreciate it so much!
As for everyone else, be respectful of my time. If you know you'll be here a week in advance, and want to stop in, call me so I can be here. If you know you told me you'd be here at 4 pm and you left hours earlier and will be here 3 hours early, let me know 3 hours earlier that plans changed. Please don't call and say you're on your way and will be here unexpectedly in 10 minutes. It's not fair to me and it adds a lot of stress to an organized person.
Disclaimer #2: My in-laws are the exception to this. They are 200 miles, 3 1/2 hours away. Anything can happen from traffic jams, to a cancelled meeting near me, etc. so if they didn't know they'd have time to stop by and suddenly they do - they're welcome to stop in and I'll try my best to be here. Our family is so grateful for all they've done through the years, especially in our most dire of circumstances, that they get a free pass on this one.
Old pet peeves I used to have that I've learned to let go of (I think) are things like the old lady counting out her pennies at the grocery store because her purse is "too heavy" when she's got a wad of bills in her hand and there's 6 people behind her waiting in the only open lane. I still am in shock when people speak their minds without any thought of how what they say makes them look or others feel. You've seen the YouTube videos gone viral of rants, people who freak out on employees, and you've been at the party where someone loudly yells at and insults another guest in front of everyone making everyone there uncomfortable. I still don't like it, but it doesn't stress me out anymore. I still don't like traffic jams that are caused by people staring at a car pulled over with a flat tire like it's some life threatening multi vehicle homicide scene, backing up traffic for 6 exits. I don't like it, but I'm not yelling at everyone to "Come on! Go!" anymore. I used to get stressed over getting home and finding out something I paid for at the store is not in my bag when I get home. It's usually some item under $3 and my time is worth more than that, so I let it go.
What kinds of things do you get stressed over? Are they something that won't even matter a year from now? Will it matter a month from now? Will it matter a day from now? Will it even matter in just 5 minutes from now? Then stop stressing and let it go. Learn to live simply and you'll find the peace you've been missing in your life.
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
Minimalism Challenge Day 25: Leave a whole day unplanned.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, I'm not just a thinker, I'm an over-thinker. I live by lists and schedules and planners. I always have from about age 25 on. The thought of leaving a whole day unplanned would have seemed scary in the past, how would I ever get anything done?, but now I find I'm beginning to enjoy living simply.
I still had to be at my Ladies' Bible Study today. It's where I've been every Tuesday morning (with a brief hiatus when we moved out of town temporarily) for almost 15 years. I've never missed going unless I was out of town or had no way to get there (if the car had broken down that morning). Planning or not, I was going.
When I got home, I made a vegetarian lunch, a salad with cottage cheese and a greens drink. Something the Minimalists said once was, "Eating is not an event." Ever since then, it's easier to look at what I eat as nothing more than fuel, like putting gas in the car. It's not an event, a treat, a comfort, or anything else. It's simply fuel. If I put the right fuel in, my body will respond positively. If I don't, it won't.
After that I thought about what I felt like doing. I wanted to watch a video of a speaker I'd heard about but it's not available just yet, so I listened to The Minimalists podcast like I do every Tuesday (and every other day for a while until I was caught up). I enjoy it, and I usually do important but non-urgent things on the computer while I listen. I heard the same message on the podcast that I heard on Sunday at church. Fear causes us to think delusional thoughts about the past - or put another way - when we remember the past, we tend to forget all the flaws that went with it, and remember it better than it truly was at the time. When I hear the same thing multiple times in a week or less, I tend to pick up on it, think about it, and see how to apply it. I mentioned I was an over-thinker, right?
Afterwards, I got the mail, pet the cat for a while, and did the dishes in the sink. I then read the first few pages of a new book I'm reading. No particular plan, no order, no list, just wandering through the day and thinking, "What should I do now?" I still want to live intentionally, just not slave to a schedule today.
I balanced the checkbook, went over travel plans coming up for both my husband, my son and his soon to be wife, and our anniversary trip in September. Once I confirmed everything was done, paid for, on the planner and calendar, I could let it go for a long time. Nothing more to do there.
It's now mid afternoon and I'm blogging about my day. I have no plans tonight other than to watch baseball, of course. The game is at 6:40pm, I'll plan for that. Otherwise, I don't know what I'm making for dinner - but that's okay if it's not an event. It'll be something we have on hand, something that will use up what needs to be used up, healthy, and something that will fuel my body until tomorrow's breakfast.
It feels nice to let go of my usual rigid list making and scheduling, but I worry without doing that, I'll forget important things. I'll return to my schedule tomorrow, but I think I'll only put 5 or less MUST DO things on my list. I'll do what's both important and urgent, then what's important but not urgent. Once those are done, then I'm free to pursue other things.
I do have a trip to the lake planned this week, but whether I go on Wed, Thurs, or Fri is irrelevant. I'm going alone, so any of those work. I'll go when I feel it's the best day to go.
What would you do on an unplanned day?
I still had to be at my Ladies' Bible Study today. It's where I've been every Tuesday morning (with a brief hiatus when we moved out of town temporarily) for almost 15 years. I've never missed going unless I was out of town or had no way to get there (if the car had broken down that morning). Planning or not, I was going.
When I got home, I made a vegetarian lunch, a salad with cottage cheese and a greens drink. Something the Minimalists said once was, "Eating is not an event." Ever since then, it's easier to look at what I eat as nothing more than fuel, like putting gas in the car. It's not an event, a treat, a comfort, or anything else. It's simply fuel. If I put the right fuel in, my body will respond positively. If I don't, it won't.
After that I thought about what I felt like doing. I wanted to watch a video of a speaker I'd heard about but it's not available just yet, so I listened to The Minimalists podcast like I do every Tuesday (and every other day for a while until I was caught up). I enjoy it, and I usually do important but non-urgent things on the computer while I listen. I heard the same message on the podcast that I heard on Sunday at church. Fear causes us to think delusional thoughts about the past - or put another way - when we remember the past, we tend to forget all the flaws that went with it, and remember it better than it truly was at the time. When I hear the same thing multiple times in a week or less, I tend to pick up on it, think about it, and see how to apply it. I mentioned I was an over-thinker, right?
Afterwards, I got the mail, pet the cat for a while, and did the dishes in the sink. I then read the first few pages of a new book I'm reading. No particular plan, no order, no list, just wandering through the day and thinking, "What should I do now?" I still want to live intentionally, just not slave to a schedule today.
I balanced the checkbook, went over travel plans coming up for both my husband, my son and his soon to be wife, and our anniversary trip in September. Once I confirmed everything was done, paid for, on the planner and calendar, I could let it go for a long time. Nothing more to do there.
It's now mid afternoon and I'm blogging about my day. I have no plans tonight other than to watch baseball, of course. The game is at 6:40pm, I'll plan for that. Otherwise, I don't know what I'm making for dinner - but that's okay if it's not an event. It'll be something we have on hand, something that will use up what needs to be used up, healthy, and something that will fuel my body until tomorrow's breakfast.
It feels nice to let go of my usual rigid list making and scheduling, but I worry without doing that, I'll forget important things. I'll return to my schedule tomorrow, but I think I'll only put 5 or less MUST DO things on my list. I'll do what's both important and urgent, then what's important but not urgent. Once those are done, then I'm free to pursue other things.
I do have a trip to the lake planned this week, but whether I go on Wed, Thurs, or Fri is irrelevant. I'm going alone, so any of those work. I'll go when I feel it's the best day to go.
What would you do on an unplanned day?
Monday, July 24, 2017
Day 24: Go Bare-Faced
Okay, this challenge is not fair. If you're a guy, nothing changes. If you're a woman, you look often dramatically different bare-faced, or people hound you all day asking, "What's wrong?" or stating how tired you look. It would've been easier if makeup had never been invented. Okay, maybe not.
Today I had to host our ladies' small group study at church. I didn't wear makeup. Truthfully, I have almost non-existent eye lashes so I was hoping last night's mascara was still there. I didn't do my usual eye shadow, dark pinkish/beige lipstick, no new mascara, just me. I wondered how well it would go over. I'm blessed with a small group of women who could care less how each other looks and we're more concerned about how we're all doing - the important stuff - how are we growing? how's the latest problem going? do we need help with anything? etc.
I didn't really feel any different a few minutes in, so I guess it was fairly simple, but what if I was a professional 20 something who usually lives under a thick mask of color and techniques to alter my looks? I think that could be very scary, especially for a self-conscious person, or someone who normally covers scars or birthmarks, or someone who can only get through her day if she believes she looks "normal" with all the extra makeup. But what if you're a guy...
I think if a guy were doing this challenge, they could do something like go out without hair product in their hair, if they normally do. Maybe if they're usually clean-shaven, they could go out with the overnight stubble still there? Maybe it's something simple like sneakers instead of dress shoes with those fancy designer jeans? It's definitely something to think about to make it a fair challenge.
I think the point though is that we should go through the day being ourselves, not hiding behind a mask. We should be open and honest about where we're at, or who we are, without trying to cover it up so we think we look like we think others expect us to look. We worry too much about what others think of us when in reality, they aren't thinking anything! They're too busy worrying about how they look to everyone else to worry about it.
How about a fair challenge where you, as a person, regardless of gender, just take a day to be who you are without trying to be someone else?
Today I had to host our ladies' small group study at church. I didn't wear makeup. Truthfully, I have almost non-existent eye lashes so I was hoping last night's mascara was still there. I didn't do my usual eye shadow, dark pinkish/beige lipstick, no new mascara, just me. I wondered how well it would go over. I'm blessed with a small group of women who could care less how each other looks and we're more concerned about how we're all doing - the important stuff - how are we growing? how's the latest problem going? do we need help with anything? etc.
I didn't really feel any different a few minutes in, so I guess it was fairly simple, but what if I was a professional 20 something who usually lives under a thick mask of color and techniques to alter my looks? I think that could be very scary, especially for a self-conscious person, or someone who normally covers scars or birthmarks, or someone who can only get through her day if she believes she looks "normal" with all the extra makeup. But what if you're a guy...
I think if a guy were doing this challenge, they could do something like go out without hair product in their hair, if they normally do. Maybe if they're usually clean-shaven, they could go out with the overnight stubble still there? Maybe it's something simple like sneakers instead of dress shoes with those fancy designer jeans? It's definitely something to think about to make it a fair challenge.
I think the point though is that we should go through the day being ourselves, not hiding behind a mask. We should be open and honest about where we're at, or who we are, without trying to cover it up so we think we look like we think others expect us to look. We worry too much about what others think of us when in reality, they aren't thinking anything! They're too busy worrying about how they look to everyone else to worry about it.
How about a fair challenge where you, as a person, regardless of gender, just take a day to be who you are without trying to be someone else?
Sunday, July 23, 2017
Day 23: (switched with tomorrow) Practice Gratitude
I had too many places to be today to go bare-faced, so that'll have to be tomorrow when I go out. Today was the perfect day to Practice Gratitude, though.
Being thankful and grateful are a HUGE part of my life. Maybe it's like the old saying that those who have had very little, or been through a lot, have the most to be grateful for in good times? That's certainly the case for me. I grew up poor, in the center of a lot of disfunction, being told things that no little kid should be told. I've been through a lot of bad things as a teenager, and had to deal with and work though the most difficult things in my adult life. But still, I'm fully aware that so many other people have it worse than I ever did. For that, I have every reason to be thankful. As my beautiful friend born in Tanzania says, "At least you have a roof." How's that for perspective?! She said it once when we first went for coffee together, and after sharing we both had been through more than anyone would imagine - even though our stories are VERY different - we are both grateful for the very little things in life.
There is a book, which also was made into a movie, both with a "part 2" book/movie called The Ultimate Gift/The Ultimate Life. It's excellent and worth watching the movie with everyone you know. In it, the main character has lessons to learn (the hard way) to inherit millions of dollars. One of the things he's told to do is to make a list every day of 10 things to be thankful/grateful for. What would YOUR list look like?
I'll show you what a day might look like on my list:
1. My faith - without it, I have no hope, life is meaningless, what's the point, why am I here?
2. My family - some days it's my household, husband & adult kids, others it's my siblings and Mom,
other days it's my extended family that makes me smile by just remembering good times we've
had together.
3. My friends - I have lots of acquaintances, quite a few friends, but I also am blessed with a smaller
circle of dear, close friends who know the real me. They understand my motives, my good intentions when I mess up, and that I never mean to say or do something hurtful to them. They get me.
4. My home - I'm so thankful for my home. I've lived in much smaller places, a trailer, a farmhouse, a condo, an apartment, a small house 50 years old, large multifamily homes over 100 years old, I've even lost my house during the whole Bank of America scam in 2008, and had to live with relatives kind enough to take us in. I could live in a camping one bed room cabin, a motor home, or a travel trailer - if I didn't feel so strongly about providing a home for my kids until they're ready to fly on their own, and to take care of my mother now that she can't really support herself. That said, I could do okay in much worse homes than where I am, but I'm so thankful that it has some space, it's on a quiet street, the neighbors are generally good people from what I can tell, and it's in good shape.
5. My health - I could stand to lose a lot of weight (not that I haven't been aggressively trying for the past 2 years), I could do extreme things to my diet and exercise routine but...I'm thankful for what I have. I'm not struggling with any life threatening diseases that I'm aware of. I have full use of my limbs. I'm not in pain 24/7 like others I know...I'm thankful for where it's at right now.
6. I'm thankful for my marriage. Like any other couple, that wasn't always the case every single day of the last 25 years, and understandably my husband would say the same, but now...we've got it figured out. I'm thankful for who he is, not who I want him to become. I'm thankful for his work ethic to take care of his family, and how he takes care of me. It makes me want to take better care of him too.
7. I'm thankful for who I am. I could've been born in a poverty-stricken, third world country. I could've been born with severe disabilities or a major disease. I am grateful for what I didn't end up with in my life.
8. I'm thankful for my country. I could've been born into some war torn, violent, fighting zone where decades if not centuries of battles have been fought in the streets and homes of everyday citizens. I was born into a country with more freedom than anywhere else. For that, I'm thankful.
9. I'm grateful for what I've learned over the years. I've learned skills like parenting, being married, financial responsibility, how to work hard, how to work smart, how to learn and teach myself new things, logic and reasoning skills, how to cook like a pro, people skills, business principles, the history of my faith, minimalism, even down to how to read, write, and do math. I'm thankful for the opportunity to learn all of it. Where would I be without it.
10. Nature - I'm so thankful for this beautiful world we live in: electric blue Caribbean waters, purple and orange sunsets, pink and yellow sunrises, deep green grassy fields, hundreds upon hundreds of different trees and flowers, so many different kinds of fruits and vegetables, mountains, deserts, ice storms, newly fallen snow, it's all so beautiful, and we have all of it right here in our own country, often all in one state! I'm thankful for a pretty sunset, a beautiful storm making it's way across a cloudless sky, the feel of sand under my feet, a cool breeze on a hot day, the stillness of water in a lake, the sound of the ocean waves hitting the shore - how can people take all that for granted?
Please share a short list of 5-10 things you're grateful for, even if it's just one or two word answers without explanation. I'd love to hear from you.
Being thankful and grateful are a HUGE part of my life. Maybe it's like the old saying that those who have had very little, or been through a lot, have the most to be grateful for in good times? That's certainly the case for me. I grew up poor, in the center of a lot of disfunction, being told things that no little kid should be told. I've been through a lot of bad things as a teenager, and had to deal with and work though the most difficult things in my adult life. But still, I'm fully aware that so many other people have it worse than I ever did. For that, I have every reason to be thankful. As my beautiful friend born in Tanzania says, "At least you have a roof." How's that for perspective?! She said it once when we first went for coffee together, and after sharing we both had been through more than anyone would imagine - even though our stories are VERY different - we are both grateful for the very little things in life.
There is a book, which also was made into a movie, both with a "part 2" book/movie called The Ultimate Gift/The Ultimate Life. It's excellent and worth watching the movie with everyone you know. In it, the main character has lessons to learn (the hard way) to inherit millions of dollars. One of the things he's told to do is to make a list every day of 10 things to be thankful/grateful for. What would YOUR list look like?
I'll show you what a day might look like on my list:
1. My faith - without it, I have no hope, life is meaningless, what's the point, why am I here?
2. My family - some days it's my household, husband & adult kids, others it's my siblings and Mom,
other days it's my extended family that makes me smile by just remembering good times we've
had together.
3. My friends - I have lots of acquaintances, quite a few friends, but I also am blessed with a smaller
circle of dear, close friends who know the real me. They understand my motives, my good intentions when I mess up, and that I never mean to say or do something hurtful to them. They get me.
4. My home - I'm so thankful for my home. I've lived in much smaller places, a trailer, a farmhouse, a condo, an apartment, a small house 50 years old, large multifamily homes over 100 years old, I've even lost my house during the whole Bank of America scam in 2008, and had to live with relatives kind enough to take us in. I could live in a camping one bed room cabin, a motor home, or a travel trailer - if I didn't feel so strongly about providing a home for my kids until they're ready to fly on their own, and to take care of my mother now that she can't really support herself. That said, I could do okay in much worse homes than where I am, but I'm so thankful that it has some space, it's on a quiet street, the neighbors are generally good people from what I can tell, and it's in good shape.
5. My health - I could stand to lose a lot of weight (not that I haven't been aggressively trying for the past 2 years), I could do extreme things to my diet and exercise routine but...I'm thankful for what I have. I'm not struggling with any life threatening diseases that I'm aware of. I have full use of my limbs. I'm not in pain 24/7 like others I know...I'm thankful for where it's at right now.
6. I'm thankful for my marriage. Like any other couple, that wasn't always the case every single day of the last 25 years, and understandably my husband would say the same, but now...we've got it figured out. I'm thankful for who he is, not who I want him to become. I'm thankful for his work ethic to take care of his family, and how he takes care of me. It makes me want to take better care of him too.
7. I'm thankful for who I am. I could've been born in a poverty-stricken, third world country. I could've been born with severe disabilities or a major disease. I am grateful for what I didn't end up with in my life.
8. I'm thankful for my country. I could've been born into some war torn, violent, fighting zone where decades if not centuries of battles have been fought in the streets and homes of everyday citizens. I was born into a country with more freedom than anywhere else. For that, I'm thankful.
9. I'm grateful for what I've learned over the years. I've learned skills like parenting, being married, financial responsibility, how to work hard, how to work smart, how to learn and teach myself new things, logic and reasoning skills, how to cook like a pro, people skills, business principles, the history of my faith, minimalism, even down to how to read, write, and do math. I'm thankful for the opportunity to learn all of it. Where would I be without it.
10. Nature - I'm so thankful for this beautiful world we live in: electric blue Caribbean waters, purple and orange sunsets, pink and yellow sunrises, deep green grassy fields, hundreds upon hundreds of different trees and flowers, so many different kinds of fruits and vegetables, mountains, deserts, ice storms, newly fallen snow, it's all so beautiful, and we have all of it right here in our own country, often all in one state! I'm thankful for a pretty sunset, a beautiful storm making it's way across a cloudless sky, the feel of sand under my feet, a cool breeze on a hot day, the stillness of water in a lake, the sound of the ocean waves hitting the shore - how can people take all that for granted?
Please share a short list of 5-10 things you're grateful for, even if it's just one or two word answers without explanation. I'd love to hear from you.
Day 22: Create a Relaxing Bedtime Routine
Relaxing bedtime routine...I may be the wrong person to ask. I've had insomnia for as long as I can remember - and it got MUCH worse once I had kids. I have no trouble falling asleep. I just have trouble staying asleep. I may wake up as much as 7 times, falling back to sleep quickly each time, but not getting more than 45 min. at a time. I may be up once, but it's for 3 hours. It's different almost every night, but VERY rarely do I sleep for more than 6 hours in a row. It's not sleep apnea, I'm breathing just fine. It's not like I wake up with an overactive mind all stressed out. I just...wake up. I tried all the typical bedtime routines, herbal supplements, over the counter things that make me feel like crap the next day. It's quite possibly genetic. Both my mother and my daughter don't sleep through the night either. We never really have. I have it far better than either of them, so I don't complain about it. Anyway, back to the challenge.
As I said, I don't have trouble GETTING to sleep. Maybe my typical routine is what's right for me? Who knows? Maybe it would be way worse without my routine. Here's what I do:
1. I go to my room well before I plan on sleeping. It may be an hour or so early. I close the door,
and mentally close the door on the day. No more planning. No stressing over what I did/didn't do
that day.
2. I take the time to feel good. I wash my face. I brush my teeth. I get comfortable. My clothes are in
the hamper, no towels on the floor, no mess surrounding me. It's like minimalism - have less
cluttering your relaxing space.
3. I generally don't get on social media before bed. I don't get on Facebook - news stories would
stress me out. I avoid Twitter where I have almost all baseball stuff - I'd be up for hours reading
articles and watching videos of my favorite players. I avoid Instagram, no reason except that it
would get me on my phone and on FB/twitter/checking emails.
4. I have a sip of water. I'm technically on a very low dose one pill at night medication for high blood
pressure, but it's been normal for weeks at a time without it, so I generally skip it unless it's been a
particularly stressful day.
5. I get comfortable in my bed and go through a short mental exercise. I first eliminate any and
everything in my head that's not just truth. I shed the day's stresses, fears, things that got me
frustrated, conversations I did or should've had, everything but the truth. For me, that truth is
simple: I am getting better every day, I have a God that made me and loves me. I have more than
many others so I'm thankful. I even sometimes come up with a quick list of ten things I'm thankful
for, and it's almost never got anything materialistic on it: my health, my family, a roof over my
head, my kids have grown up and are good people, my friends, my faith that keeps me strong and
gives me hope, etc.
6. I then mentally "declutter" my head. I drop anything left that isn't thankfulness and peaceful. I
happen to be a Christian, so my one sentence I repeat once or twice is this, "Be still, and know
that I am God." That reminds me I don't have to run the world. Someone else is in charge, not me,
so let go. I don't need to be full of mindless busyness. Live simply, find joy, and be at peace. If
you aren't a person of faith, find some other sentence that reminds you to let go, have hope, trust,
and be at peace. Whatever works for you. It could be a positive saying you've picked up from
somewhere, a line from a book that changed your life, or just say to yourself, "Live simply."
With those 6 things, it should make falling asleep easier, more relaxing. Other things I've done in the past are spending a few minutes listening to instrumental positive yoga music while just being still, and doing a short 20 minute workout an hour before bed, taking a quick shower to rinse off, and then going into the steps above. Everyone's life and responsibilities look different. Find what works for you, but a routine is far better than just falling asleep in front of the TV, or having your mind working 100 miles and hour then dropping into bed expecting to sleep easily.
Take the time to shut down, close your mind to the day that's now behind you, and fall asleep ready to look ahead to a brighter future.
As I said, I don't have trouble GETTING to sleep. Maybe my typical routine is what's right for me? Who knows? Maybe it would be way worse without my routine. Here's what I do:
1. I go to my room well before I plan on sleeping. It may be an hour or so early. I close the door,
and mentally close the door on the day. No more planning. No stressing over what I did/didn't do
that day.
2. I take the time to feel good. I wash my face. I brush my teeth. I get comfortable. My clothes are in
the hamper, no towels on the floor, no mess surrounding me. It's like minimalism - have less
cluttering your relaxing space.
3. I generally don't get on social media before bed. I don't get on Facebook - news stories would
stress me out. I avoid Twitter where I have almost all baseball stuff - I'd be up for hours reading
articles and watching videos of my favorite players. I avoid Instagram, no reason except that it
would get me on my phone and on FB/twitter/checking emails.
4. I have a sip of water. I'm technically on a very low dose one pill at night medication for high blood
pressure, but it's been normal for weeks at a time without it, so I generally skip it unless it's been a
particularly stressful day.
5. I get comfortable in my bed and go through a short mental exercise. I first eliminate any and
everything in my head that's not just truth. I shed the day's stresses, fears, things that got me
frustrated, conversations I did or should've had, everything but the truth. For me, that truth is
simple: I am getting better every day, I have a God that made me and loves me. I have more than
many others so I'm thankful. I even sometimes come up with a quick list of ten things I'm thankful
for, and it's almost never got anything materialistic on it: my health, my family, a roof over my
head, my kids have grown up and are good people, my friends, my faith that keeps me strong and
gives me hope, etc.
6. I then mentally "declutter" my head. I drop anything left that isn't thankfulness and peaceful. I
happen to be a Christian, so my one sentence I repeat once or twice is this, "Be still, and know
that I am God." That reminds me I don't have to run the world. Someone else is in charge, not me,
so let go. I don't need to be full of mindless busyness. Live simply, find joy, and be at peace. If
you aren't a person of faith, find some other sentence that reminds you to let go, have hope, trust,
and be at peace. Whatever works for you. It could be a positive saying you've picked up from
somewhere, a line from a book that changed your life, or just say to yourself, "Live simply."
With those 6 things, it should make falling asleep easier, more relaxing. Other things I've done in the past are spending a few minutes listening to instrumental positive yoga music while just being still, and doing a short 20 minute workout an hour before bed, taking a quick shower to rinse off, and then going into the steps above. Everyone's life and responsibilities look different. Find what works for you, but a routine is far better than just falling asleep in front of the TV, or having your mind working 100 miles and hour then dropping into bed expecting to sleep easily.
Take the time to shut down, close your mind to the day that's now behind you, and fall asleep ready to look ahead to a brighter future.
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