In this crazy busy world of goal-setting gurus offering to help make you rich by reaching your goals for internet traffic to your site, or by using sales strategies, or fitness challenges, why would I want to "let go of a goal"? Here's why:
Although I am a list-maker, planner, and I'm very organized, I don't necessarily need traditional goals for what I do. I could set goals for how many books to read in a year, or how many pounds to lose in a set time frame, or a date in the future to see all 50 states, etc., but why? As I'm learning to live simply I need to figure out what's most important to me, what adds value to my life, and how to live intentionally and purposefully. Yes, I'm following a minimalist mindset now but it's not about the number of items you own, it's about intentionally living out your passion and purpose. To do that, I need to be able to let go of goals OTHER PEOPLE think I should have. Just spend a few minutes reading articles on any media platform and you'll see all kinds of things you "should" be doing. You should read more, workout until you're punishing your body, have face to face conversations with everyone you call a friend or relative, use the latest apps, watch the most popular shows, buy the latest thing, move towards a bigger house, consider buying the most expensive cars advertised, buy thousands of dollars worth of gifts for holidays (think: He went to Jared!), be on a monthly standing order for everything from shoes and clothes to toys for your pet, get your food ordered through a service that shows up weekly, start a blog, start a business from home, spend more quality time parenting, check out your local attractions, have date night with your spouse or partner, pray more, volunteer more, donate more, get involved in civic organizations, write your congressmen, and the list goes on forever. We can't do it all. While none of these things are necessarily bad in and of themselves (although some I would argue do more harm than good), you need to figure out what your responsibilities really are for you and your family, what adds value to your life, and what passions you'd like to pursue. You should make personal time for those closest to you but not everyone you know at the expense of those you love. If you're responsible for the roof over your family's head, then quitting work to pursue a hobby like fishing isn't what we're talking about here. If you're responsible for handling the finances of your household, then pursuing traveling around the world on credit cards isn't the answer. There is a balance, a way to live simply, and it involves getting rid of the "extra" stuff in your life - that can mean clutter, wardrobe, activities, or just saying no to things that you don't have to say yes to because others expect it.
I will be going back to college in a few weeks so what am I letting go of today? I'm letting go of the number of books I think I need to read. I'll keep reading as aggressively as time and desire allow, but when I need to be reading my textbooks instead, I'll let go of the normal guilt associated with that. Yes, I feel guilty whenever I'm not trying to better myself. I've spent the last 45 years or so always feeling I had to prove myself, or validate that I'm important. I've been told throughout the years, in many ways, that if you don't bring in a paycheck you're not valuable, you're not as important, or your time is not as important. I'm done with that. What I do and have done for the past 2 to 3 decades has been very important in the lives of others. I no longer need to worry about what others think of how I spend my time. At almost 50 years old, I'm a grown up and I will decide what's best for me.
Another goal I'm letting go of is learning Spanish (for now). It's getting changed from a goal to a hobby. I hate the guilt associated when I feel I'm "falling behind where I should be" because other things are more urgent and important. If it's a hobby, it can be enjoyable again. No one wants to start hating something they took on because they wanted the fun adventure of it. As a hobby, I'll continue to pursue it, but only when it becomes that day's important/passion thing.
Trim Healthy Mama is the eating plan I use. The best lesson it taught me is that setting goals of numbers on the scale just leads to frustration and quitting in most cases. It's more about health, strength, endurance, stabilizing blood sugar levels, avoiding sugar, gluten, and artificial chemicals & sweeteners. I have seen hundreds of cases now where 3 or more women weight the exact same amount on a scale and look totally different because of how they carry it, how tall they are, etc. I don't care what number the scale says or doesn't say if I'm healthier and dropping sizes. I have gone down 3 sizes and never saw a single pound come off the scale. I've also had 15 pounds drop off yet my normal size was getting tight from bloating eating prepackaged or restaurant foods too often. I let go of pound goals. I do keep track for health's sake but it's not a goal, no set date in mind, I just try to live simply - taking one day at a time, making good decisions on food and workouts every day instead of cramming for a date/number.
What goals did you set that may not truly reflect something that adds value or joy to your life? What should you let go of to be happier without losing focus on the important?
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