Living Simply: Relaxing

     

     After several days with too many things on my plate, we've now got a step by step game plan for the long-term projects, some action steps to do over the next few weeks for mid-term projects, and only a handful of things in the next week or so for immediate projects. Today, I find myself with a few hours of time for RELAXING. 

     What will I decide to intentionally do with that time that will add value to my life? Well, tonight I have plans to go out for a "date night" with my husband of 25 years. We'll have dinner at our favorite Italian pizza place while a friend of ours plays live music there. It'll be great to have some quiet time enjoying just being together - the two of us - in a crowd that feels like family. This afternoon, I've spent too many hours studying for a test on Monday, so I need to clear my head. I need a mindless activity. I'm not much into movies or TV, but I did go see Thor Ragnarok with my hubby and brother last night. By the way, it was very good, worth seeing. What mindless thing will I choose this afternoon?

     When I do something, I usually am multitasking, learning something, or challenging myself with some strategy game through Facebook. I think I'll choose a strategy game. If my mind is engaged I can let go of all the boring facts and figures I've been studying. What will YOU do when you get time for relaxing? Here's a few options:

• Go for a walk around your neighborhood or a favorite park or city block, get fresh air.
• Cook or bake something from scratch.
• Take a well-deserved nap.
• Make some do it yourself project or early holiday gifts for loved ones.
• Get some exercise, do some yoga, or just take some time out for meditating.
• Catch a movie or get caught up on a favorite tv show.
• Take 15 minutes and declutter a room with a trash bag and a donation box nearby.
• Call a friend or relative who's probably missing you.
• Take a relaxing bath with candles, music, the works.
• Go out to eat with someone (or get coffee) you've been meaning to catch up with.
• Play a board or video game with the kids, family, roommates, or some friends.
• Read a book you've been wanting to get into lately.
• Play an instrument if that's your thing - or sing - or dance to your favorite tunes.

     There's so many things to do. Once you decide how you most want to relax, do it, without guilt. Take some time to enjoy life. What's the point of simplifying your life unless you want the chance to do things you enjoy and value? Have a great weekend.

Living Simply: Persistence

     Persistence - what does it mean? It means a firm continuance of a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition. Feel like the odds are stacked against you? Feel like you're banging your head against the wall? Feel like even when you do everything right, someone or something else makes it all get derailed, causing them no stress but makes your life infinitely more difficult? I've been there...and I'm there right now. I write as something to add value to your life, and because I need to think, see, and read this for my own life right now too. We're in this together, and no matter where we come from, we're all the same deep down.

     I have many plates spinning right now. It's not my intentional plan, but there are a few things that must happen simultaneously right now, or bad things will happen later on - so although it's not AS simple as I'd like, I do know that it's very temporary. In fact, in just a few days, many of the things that have me frustrated will be moving forward, in one direction or another, and life will be intentionally more simple once again. But for the next 24 hours, many things need my intention that cannot be delegated, nor ignored.

     So how do we get through situations like this? We feel frustrated, our head is racing, emotions are right on the edge of a flair up. I know what I'm choosing right now as I'm writing this to you. I choose to do the following:

1.  Stop. Breathe. Long exhale. Repeat a few more times. Okay, ready for step 2.

2.  Remove the emotion of the situation. It doesn't help anyone or anything progress forward anyway. Drop the frustration. Clear your mind. Continue breathing slowly and intentionally.

3.  Get re-centered. Okay. Here's how we're going to approach this...

4.  Logic. It's the only thing that can actually make a positive difference anyway. Logically, I know this situation is temporary. Logically I know I can't MAKE people do their jobs right - so since it's beyond my control to do that - my ONLY option is to let it go. Now, let's work on solutions that may help.

5. Here's where persistence comes in. Tomorrow I will call those with authority to make some positive changes, CALMLY explain the situations necessary, and find out either a new plan of action or have new insight into how things are likely to unfold going forward. I will be persistent as I tackle each problem on the list, working down a numbered, prioritized list. I will logically figure out what things I need in front of me to make those calls. I will choose to proceed without emotions getting all worked up.

6.  If all else fails, I will continue being persistent by having a Plan B in place to intentionally move the ball forward in each situation.

     Will I get all the things done to my satisfaction in one day? No. But I logically accept that so I'm not thrust into an emotional state when things don't go perfectly. Will I feel like something important came of my calls? Yes, because I know I will at least have something to do, somewhere to go, or someone to speak to so things move forward. By the end of tomorrow, this temporary situation will be handled to the best of my ability. I will know I did my part - persistently pursuing a more favorable outcome than where things are at right now. I will have intentionally chosen how to handle obstacles in my life, and be able to resume a more simple life moving forward.

     And you will too. Hang in there. Don't give up. Don't let a temporary situation cause you to lose focus of what's important to you. You CAN handle your "stuff" too. Good luck. May you be successful in all you decide to do.

Living Simply: Listening

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     Listening is a lost art. People today are so busy trying to make themselves and their opinions heard, often resorting to irrational, self-centered, and even violent ways of doing it. What the world really needs is for people to become better at listening - no, I mean REALLY listening. When was the last time you were going through a rough time and truly felt like someone listened, showed empathy, and understood what you were trying to say? Without trying to fix the problem? Without getting into the one-upping game saying things like, "Oh yeah, well let me tell you how bad I have it"? When did you really feel like you could let it all out, without judgement, without looking for advice, and the other person was simply "there for you"? It's truly is a lost art.

     

     We live in a hurting world. People need each other now more than ever, yet the divisiveness seems to grow by leaps and bounds as time goes on. People find a million reasons to divide themselves from others into their own "group", but in the end, we're all the same, we're all people, ones who hurt, need to feel important now and then, want to know someone cares about them. Part of living an intentional life involves the responsibility of helping others. It's time those of us who are not self-centered to stand up, and be there for others who need us. Maybe it's the coworker, a neighbor, a friend, a relative, a child, mom, dad, spouse, significant other, maybe it's the stranger put across your path today because you're the only one who "sees" them and is willing to be there today.

     We spoke about selfishness on Sunday. Now it's time to act out that self-less-ness. Take a minute, look around, who needs you? More often than not, helping others takes your mind off your own problems, at least for a while, and can turn someone else's day completely around. Today, you be the difference in your world.

Living Simply: Letting Go

     Some people have a hard time letting go of stuff. This makes it hard to live a simple life when you fill your space, mind, and lifestyle with unwanted clutter than no longer serves a purpose nor brings you joy.

     Sometimes hanging on to things is because of an insecurity. Maybe you grew up poor so you're afraid to let go of things "just in case". Those 3 words have justified hoarding in the minds of thousands of people and kept them from happiness. Maybe the number of items one has makes them (falsely) feel like they have or even are more than they truly feel. Don't let your security be determined by old junk and trinkets. You're worth more than that.

     Sometimes people hang onto stuff for decades because the items were gifts. I'll try to be gentle here, but the truth is, most people forget what they bought you last year, let alone 10, 20 or 30 years ago! I've seen people hang onto things because others gave them something they didn't even really like, "but it was a gift". The gift givers are either 3000 miles away on the other side of the country, or they've passed on years ago. If it doesn't serve a purpose or bring you joy - give it away. It's not doing you any good sitting in the garage, a basement, or an attic, or even in a hall or bedroom closet. You should be surrounding yourself with things you love and want to see displayed every day. When it ceases to draw your attention, let it go.

     What about heirlooms? This one is tougher, I know, but the rule is the same. Don't hold onto something just because it's old. If you love it - keep it, no guilt, and enjoy it. If you only keep it because it belonged to someone in your family, see if there's someone else in the family that WOULD enjoy it. If no one wants it, and it's in some storage space, maybe it's time to sell it, donate it, or throw it out. Something's value is only what others are willing to pay to buy it. If no one wants it, let it go.

     But all those years of photographs! This one's easy. You can either scan them yourself to a computer, or find a service that does that for you (there's many out there nowadays if you do an internet search). Then you can take all those digital files and save them to one small thumb/flash drive. If you want to store them, now they take up almost no room at all. If you do want them to be seen, buy a digital photo frame that you can just plug the external drive into and it rotates the photos you've got loaded onto it.

     Find your freedom in owning less things. Simplify your life by removing unwanted clutter. Live more intentionally by surrounding yourself with things that bring you joy or serve your purposes. You deserve it.

Living Simply: Selfishness

   

     Today I was talking with a friend and was absolutely appalled. She's a flight attendant on a major airline and recently something terrible happened on a flight from Arizona to Hawaii. A passenger suddenly died on the plane! The passenger collapsed and my friend was trying to administer CPR on her like she was trained to do. A passenger sitting in the seat next to the lifeless body and my friend (who was doing all she could to restart the heart) had the nerve to tap my friend on the shoulder and say arrogantly, "Excuse me, but does this mean we won't have any beverage service on this flight?!" What the hell?! Are you freaking kidding me?! How can you be SOOOOOO self-absorbed! How can you have the nerve to tap someone on the shoulder while they're administering CPR?!

     When they landed, they couldn't let people off because the body was in the aisle. I've never experienced that but I think it would freak me out a little riding a long flight next to a dead body, but these things happen. The body couldn't be moved until the coroner and officials boarded and did their jobs.  Most of the people on board were going on vacation - a vacation many people will NEVER be fortunate enough to take - to spend a week or two surrounded by luxury, yet all they could do was complain about how the delay inconvenienced them! Again, how the hell can you be SOOOO self-centered?! A person died, their life is over, I don't know if they were traveling alone or not, but most likely not. What about the person with them? Imagine the surprise to their family? Their friends? Their neighbors? Everyone who didn't get a chance to say goodbye? What kind of world do those others on board live that someone's death is an inconvenience to THEM? How do they possibly live in a world full of disappointments and think their life should be trouble free, and others around them should do everything they can to rearrange the universe to see to it THEY aren't inconvenienced?

     Are you as shocked as I am? I sincerely hope so. I hope my readers are people who not only are planning to live more simple, intentional, minimalist life styles, but also who have a sense of community, giving back, empathy, caring, and helping those in need. What would you have done if you were on board?

     Can we take a minute to recenter and focus on how to be UNselfish and selfLESS when it comes to others? I believe the roots of being a better person come from a heart full of appreciation, thankfulness, and gratitude. If you appreciate what you have - and those around you, if you are thankful for the little things, not just the big things, if you're grateful for your life, your friends, family, significant other, your blessings - how can you be a selfish person, right? Today, and all this week, would you please try to find 5 things every day to be thankful for - or 5 ways to be unselfish when dealing with others? This world is falling apart at the seams. It needs a major shift in people to turn things around. Make this week count, not just for you, but for others as well.