Reconnecting

Yesterday was a day of "reconnecting" with my oldest son. He lives in the house with us, but with everyone's busy schedules, sometimes we don't get much time to really talk and get to know each other better. He'll be 19 in another week, so he's in a period of rapid growth and maturity. Yesterday I was feeling tired and sick due to an on-going dental issue that's taking 10 times longer to fix than it should. (Don't you just love dealing with insurance companies?) Anyway, I was in the kitchen and he walked in. We needed to take some photos to submit for something and time was running out. I asked him if now was a good time to go do that. I planned on heading to the park on the next street as our background, but he chose a different spot. It gave us time to talk and walk together as we followed the path along the town lake (canal) looking for photogenic locations. After that I offered to drive to a larger park we hadn't been to in years. It would be the perfect place. We drove to the park, talking about more and more important topics as the day progressed. When we arrived at the park he was getting pretty deep with life objectives. It's amazing to me to see how much he's grown in the last 3 years. He went from a selfish, materialistic, immature teenager into a respectful young man with wisdom and convictions. It makes me really proud to listen to him as he invites me to see the world through his eyes. He has managed to see his own generation through a much more mature perspective. He often talks about how those in the 18 to 25 age group have no life skills, have been handed everything and now don't know how to make good decisions, whether they are financial decisions, relationship decisions, or even just making good choices. Yesterday the topic was how much he appreciates all we've done for him, and he understands the sacrifices that were made for something better, but he's been watching us. He said he doesn't want to end up like many adults who are in their 40s and find themselves victims of circumstances. He's seen his father change jobs often, he's known what it's like when we have no income for extended periods of time, he's shared in the suffering of the consequences of losing our home and having to quit our jobs to move to the middle of nowhere. What it's taught him has been amazing. He has a very hard work ethic that he inherited from his father, and for that he's thankful. He also has learned the importance of being prepared. He is the best money saver I know. He's very disciplined in having an "Emergency Fund" and savings cushion, more than most adults. He values the struggles we've had to endure because he recognizes the lessons to be found within them. It's helped him to see others' mistakes that will lead down a bad path later on. One of the most profound things he said was that he sees too many parents treating their children as if they were pets. They swear, smoke, and continue their bad habits in front of their young children, and instead of understanding they're raising a child they focus on teaching it tricks that are "cute", funny sayings, and dress them up in embarrassing outfits to take funny pictures. He commented how a young adult like himself should learn to watch their language, behavior, and actions now so that when the time comes to have kids, they will already be a good example for them. It really upsets him to see friends his age with kids already who either don't care enough to change, or try to change after the baby comes, so they slip up constantly. When we got home, we took more casual pictures just to have them. I don't think he had any idea how happy it made me, a scrapbooking picture-taker, who's been starved of her first-born's photos for years now, to be able to take 50+ pictures all at once, showing many sides of him. We even ended the day throwing a football back and forth. He had no idea I can throw a pretty good spiral and catch anything that comes near me. It was one of my best days in a long time - reconnecting with my oldest, first-born son, who's now a man. Here's some of the many pictures we took: