Living Simply: Black Friday Violence

   

If Thanksgiving is the holiday to celebrate being thankful for what we (already) have, what is the message(s) from Black Friday?

1.  We need more stuff and don't care how much we spend binging on shopping.
2.  What we just said we're thankful for isn't enough unless we have what advertisers tell us we need.
3.  It's unsafe these days to go out during the black friday rush.

     It's so sad, year after year, you search the news for Black Friday the weekend after and you see story after story, video after video, of violent things that happened because manic shopping and spending was more important than human lives. How many were shot? Stabbed? Injured? Every year the numbers add up to more and more. You've seen them...WalMart shopper shoots other shoppers for the last big screen TV left on the advertised sale. Person SHOT over a parking space. Shoppers argue in a mall parking lot and one gets stabbed. Crowds trample children and the elderly as they push everyone out of their way to be the "first" to get to the stuff - in a crazed state of temporary insanity. When did shopping for unnecessary things become so important they're worth killing another human being and going to jail?! When will this madness stop? I blame the advertising companies, the stores, and yes, the people must be held accountable for their actions. They CHOSE to harm others over getting more "stuff".

     If you won't decide to stop Black Friday craziness and refuse to shop, will you consider shopping online that weekend instead? Is it worth it? I know many will say that it IS, but that's only because they either got something expensive they wanted (but didn't need), or else because the death/injuries never happened to someone THEY love. Imagine your spouse, significant other, your young adult child - heading out for shopping - and they never come back, or they end up in the hospital. Would you still feel the same way?

     Today, please take a moment and pray for the families that were affected by the violence during Black Friday shopping. And yes, once again, there was a shooting, a shattered hip when a shopper was slammed into shelving by other shoppers, a stabbing, year after year after year. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Living Simply: Gifts

     With Thanksgiving tomorrow, Black Friday is upon us. As much as I am against employees having to skip a family togetherness holiday to bring in more money at everyone's expense for their bosses and corporate, I realize not everyone feels that way. Some get paid extra for working the holiday, some need more hours for Christmas shopping (that's a whole other issue), and some would volunteer to work if it wasn't mandatory - I have more of a problem with the mandatory businesses. Anyway, Realizing not everyone feels like I do, and I understand many will still be shopping for Christmas gifts Thursday night and Black Friday, may I make a few quick suggestions?

1.  Try giving experiences you can share with those you care about enough to give a gift to in the first place. There are great places to find good deals on experiences like paint night, cooking classes, spa days, dining out, skydiving, zip lining, bouncy trampoline places for kids, passes for zoos and aquariums, and so many more. Try places like Groupon or Living Social to get great, fun ideas that are dramatically reduced in price right now.


2.  Get gift certificates from local places you can share with friends, families, or coworkers you're exchanging gifts with this year. Supporting small, local businesses is a much better plan than throwing more money at faceless corporations who just want you to part with as much money as possible. Local businesses keep the money in your community and helps build relationships with local owners and customers. Support a family living in your community.

3.  Make donations to someone's favorite charity in their name and give them the tax receipt.

4.  Bake something at home and package it very nicely to give as a gift. Lots of easy holiday recipes can be found all over the internet. Some of my favorites (because they're easy) are found at All Recipes and Food Network (although these aren't always the easiest).

5.  Can you make your gift support someone in their education or work? Buy an artist colored pencils, canvases, or paintbrushes. Buy a baker new pans, a set of extracts and flavorings you've packaged nicely. Get a student an array of school supplies or dorm room necessities. Your gift will show you support what they're doing.

6.  Make up a movie night basket. Add microwave or specialty popcorn, some movie-size treats, and a movie or two you know they'd enjoy. Maybe add a few beverages. Be creative.

Hopefully you've got a few great ideas sparking. Don't overspend. Don't buy meaningless junk just because advertising told you to buy it. Don't forget what people NEED is much different from what they WANT and even more different from what ADVERTISERS WANT to sell.   

Living Simply: Everyday

     We've been talking about the holiday and its busyness for about 6 weeks. Today, let's just focus on some small things we can do to live more simply every single day - any time of year - no matter who you are or where you live. Just simplify your life - intentionally.

1.  Perspective - I know a few people in my life that worry about EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING as if it's a life-altering, major, BIG thing. Usually, it's something so small that most people wouldn't give it more than a few seconds of their time. I don't know why people do that. Maybe they're bored in their life, feeling like they aren't going anywhere and stirring up drama is the only exciting thing. Maybe it's because they've done it so long that now it's their comfort zone. They don't know how to have emotions and thoughts that are appropriate for the situation. To simplify your life, you've got to keep things in perspective. Will it matter in 5 years? Let it go. Will it alter your entire life? Let it go. Will it be something important a year from now? Let it go. In many cases, the imagined worries won't matter even 24 - 48 HOURS from now. Let it go. By the way, worrying changes NOTHING about the situation. Action or changing your thinking or getting help - that's the only way to change things.

2.  The Golden Rule - somewhere along your journey you've heard someone say, "Treat others the way you want to be treated." Do you believe in that? Or did you find that one too many times you were nice to someone only to have them treat you poorly? Did it turn you into a cynical, uncaring, nasty person? You have the CHOICE to live differently. How you treat others says everything about your character. You are defined by your actions. It's time to do the right thing and treat people decently, with respect, regardless of your differences or their flaws. Obviously if there's a bad person living a life of crime or habitually drags others into their problems they created themselves, you don't have to wrap yourself up in their drama. You have the right to walk away from bad people, but with those you decide not to walk away from or avoid - treat them right. Not in hopes of getting something back in return, people are people, we're all flawed. Do it because it's the right thing to do and that's the type of person YOU are.

3.  Be positive - no one wants to be around someone who constantly complains and talks about expecting the worst. We all have more than our share of negativity in the world. Be that breath of fresh air in the life of someone who feels like they're drowning in circumstances. Be that light in the midst of another's darkness. Stop expecting the worst. Your mind is more powerful than you know and if you constantly enhance the brain's pathways to negative thoughts, you start a self-fulfilling prophecy. On the flip side, expect things to work out, let go of the little things that don't matter, roll with the changes, and look for things to work out. Look for the silver lining.

4.  Be real - so many people I know, myself included now and then, have such a standard of perfection for themselves that they drive themselves crazy with stress trying to be absolutely perfect, 100% of the time. The truth is, NO ONE is ever perfect all the time. Once you accept that you're "good" at things, and trying your best is all you are ABLE to do, then you can stop worrying about everything you feel you aren't perfect at doing. If you can learn to get better, then do what's necessary, but stop complaining about it and stressing over it. Accept who you are, how you were made, and be okay with being your best.

5.  Be thankful, always - Only by appreciating, being grateful, and being thankful will you live a simple life that you enjoy. Without being thankful. you'll never find contentment. You'll always strive for some imagined life you'll never attain. Be thankful for those who support you and are there for you. Be thankful that you have a roof over your head. A friend of mind shares an inside joke with me that no matter how bad things seem, "at least you have a roof" - because not everybody does. Be thankful you have a place to live, food, clothes, friends, family, a job, whatever it is - be thankful.

Today I'm going to share an essay written on TheMinimalists.com about Black Friday. They wrote exactly what I'm feeling so I want to share it with you today:

Let’s Talk About Black Friday

By Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus

Here we are, in the midst of what is supposedly the most joyous time of year: the holiday season. And yet, for most of us, it’s also the most stressful time of year. At some point Santa Claus turned corporate, and the holiday season metamorphosed into the holiday shopping season.

Shopping. This one word, although birthed from great intentions, has fundamentally changed our outlook from blissful to grim, from jolly to anxious, from celebrating Christmas to surviving the holidays. It’s upsetting, and with consumption’s vicious inertia, it seems there’s no way for us to exit the speeding train of consumerism.

This Friday is the busiest shopping day of the year: Black Friday. (Boxing Day is the overseas equivalent.) Retailers prepare months in advance for this dark day—preparation that’s meant to stimulate our insatiable desire to consume: Doorbuster sales. New products. Gigantic newspaper ads. TV, radio, billboards. Sale, sale, sale! Early bird specials! One day only! Get the best deal! Act now! While supplies last. See store for details.

But as shiny as its facade may be, the pernicious aspects of Black Friday are not few. The pandemonium that takes place on this day is perhaps a broader metaphor for our culture as a whole—our consumer culture. On this day we consume gluttonously without regard for the harm we’re inflicting on ourselves. On this day greed becomes ravenous. On this day we live without real meaning, buying gifts to fill a void we can’t fill with material possessions.

Perhaps Steven said it best: Black Friday is the day we trample people for things we don’t need, the day after being thankful for what we have.

Sadly, we participate in this insanity in the name of a holiday, as if buying gifts was an ideal way to celebrate Christmas. But thankfully we have options.

Instead of embracing Black Friday, you can refuse to buy material items for people to display your love; rather, you can showcase your love, caring, and affection through daily actions—every day, not just holidays.

If you want to give gifts, why not gift an experience: a nice meal, tickets to a concert, a sunset on the beach? After all, the best, most loving gift you can give someone is your time and undivided attention. Presence is the best present.

Or, if that doesn’t work, maybe you can buy everyone on your Christmas list a giant trash can so they can throw away all the presents they received, but didn’t ask for.

Will you join us? Will you opt out of Black Friday? If not, why not?