Living Simply: What I've learned

   
    Today I want to share with you a few things I've learned from intentionally living simply and embracing minimalism as a mindset, not necessarily as a way to count how many items I have. Maybe if you see what I've learned, and you want those things for your own life, then you too will take a few baby steps in the right direction.


1. I can't think of a single thing I got rid of that I miss. I don't miss the books, the scrapbooking paraphernalia, the clothes I wasn't wearing anyway, (same with shoes), the extra duplicates of kitchen and pantry items, knick knacks that never reflected my taste, extra Christmas decor,...none of it.

2. I see stores differently and shop within their walls differently. I love how Joshua Fields MIlburne (The Minimalists) said it, loosely paraphrased, he said that when people go into the store, they feel like they want to take everything in it home with them. When you visit a museum, you appreciate it but you don't want to take it all home. That's how I feel in stores now. I may like a few things but I really don't want to take them home. Probably because I know I won't be happier just because they're sitting on a table or shelf somewhere.

3. The art of appreciation: I feel better knowing that what I do have in my living space reflects who I am because it either is necessary or it brings me joy. When it ceases to do so, I can easily let it go.

4. I don't understand the connection myself but I absolutely feel free-er with less stuff. My mind seems more clear, my whole body feels more relaxed, and empty spaces bring me peace. I don't feel like I have to fill that empty corner, or shelf, or space next to a sofa.

5. By taking the journey to consider what's important (so I can let go of all the rest), I have learned to fill my calendar with only what's most important to me, too. I waste time a lot less often and I fill my time with what is more enjoyable or what's necessary to achieve my goals.

6. In place of things, I now seek out experiences both as gifts to give others, as well as what I ask for when others want to buy me some "thing". I'd rather enjoy dinner or a movie with loved ones, or take a getaway trip, than to open a box with some doodad I didn't need and they really didn't need to spend money on to let me know they care.

7. There's a confidence to not being bound to others' expectations of what I should wear, own, drive, where I should live, vacation, etc. I am free to be and do as I please. No pressure, judgement, or condemnation from others...I simply don't care. I will not go into debt to keep up with some imaginary scorecard of society. Never.

8. I look forward to the day we downsize. I am in no rush to kick out my young adult kids, nor my brother who I am helping out while he improves his life. I enjoy every person in my home, but when the timing is right for all of us they will become independent. I then will look forward to simplifying my home and life even more. We'll be able to minimize to a decent two-bedroom condo, and I can stop having to hang onto seating and dining for 8-12 people, among other things.

9. Health has become higher on the priority list. I have less stress than I used to and I rest more than I used to give myself permission to take. If I need a nap and have the time in my schedule that day, I'll take it. If I need to sleep a little more, I will go to bed earlier. I eat better than I did years ago. I try to get out more even if it's just to walk.

10. Living a more simple life is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. Even if you throw out all you own, the mind and habits take time to change. Baby steps in the right direction over time are all it takes.

I hope you too find your best life through simplifying and letting go.

Living Simple: Other money saving ideas

   

This is the time of year people seemed a little strapped for cash. For college students, it's when either they need money for next semester's classes, or they know they'll have to start paying off those loans since they're graduating in the next few weeks.

     For the families, it's nearing the end of the school year. Kids will need things to do this summer, maybe there's travel plans to be paid for, and they'll all need new clothes and shoes since last year's don't fit anymore.

     Whatever your situation, who couldn't use a little extra cash? There's lots of "side hustles" to make money, but if you're wasting it as fast as you're making it, what's the point? Here's a few ways to save some money in the meantime.

1. Food budget: I will always recommend trying the store brand versions. They come off the same assembly lines as the brand names but there's no advertising costs figured in. You may be surprised to know that your favorite ketchup for example is really the exact same ketchup that's in your store's brand and bottle but it's usually a LOT less money. Most stores have a great guarantee that if you don't like their product, you can return or exchange it. 

     Also, there's a website called Emeals that you can go to and sign up. For about $5 - $10/month, and they email you a menu, grocery shopping list, and even what stores to buy from with average prices to you can see what it'll cost. You can pick gluten-free, vegan, low fat, paleo, and many others.

2.  Save money without thinking. There's many banks now offering to round up your purchases to the nearest dollar and the extra change gets deposited to your savings account instead of jingling in your pocket. Some of them are online only banks, like Chime online bank. They even will match you 10% of what you saved up to $500. 

3. Many millennials and even those younger are saving money by not having a monthly cable bill for TV. They watch what they want on demand with Netflix or Hulu. For about $15 a month you get all your favorite shows plus original content.

4.  Clothing budget (especially for kids), save a bundle this time of year buying kids' clothes (and maybe a few adult pieces) at local yard sales, garage sales, tag sales, whatever they call them in your neck of the woods - this is the season. Also, many people do spring cleaning preparing for the change in seasons and now is a great time to get first looks at Goodwill, Salvation Army, Deseret stores, and other thrift stores. If you find one that gives the proceeds to help the community, even better.

5.  Reusable water bottles can save you lots of money by refilling your own throughout the day, but you're also helping the landfill situation, now overloaded with empty plastic disposable water bottles. 

6.  Brown Bag It - bring leftovers to work, pack your lunch from home, bake on the weekends instead of buying store-brand, chemical laden treats for the kids all week.

7.  Plan a weekend that costs next to nothing. Watch movies either through Netflix or other sites you already subscribe to, make your own snacks, play some board games, play cards, go for nature walks, be creative. 

If you can learn to save a little here and there, it will add up to quite a bit at the end of the month, and especially the year. There's hundreds, if not thousands, of stories online of people who saved a little with simple steps and saved enough for a vacation, or a much needed new (to them) car, or even a down payment on a home. Good luck, and be mindful of where your money goes.

Living Simply: Simple Date Nights

With the weather about to get warmer, here's some great inexpensive, simple ideas for date night - but you can also modify many of these for a family day out or a friends day out. 

1. Hike trails, ride bikes, go fishing, walk through the woods, -  just get out and get some exercise while enjoying the outdoors.

2. Camping - if it's warm enough where you are, or you could be planning ahead, camping is a great way to get back to a simple life for a few days...sitting by the fire, cooking on a camp stove or over the fire (bring oven mitts), maybe by a beach, lake, or mountain stream.

3. Picnics -  it can be simple sandwiches and snacks, or order takeout before hand. Bring a string of battery-operated LED lights in a mason jar for mood lighting if it's dusk/evening.

4. Stargazing - evenings will be warmer soon. Just head to a park or field or rooftop and lay flat on a blanket with some soothing music. It's very relaxing.

5. Eat cheap - why not go out for just appetizers or dessert with a beverage? You don't have to order the entire meal out. Make it dessert after a movie, or appetizers before heading out somewhere else.

6. Indoor fun works, especially if it's still too cold out - bowling, ice or roller skating, indoor swimming at a YMCA or other gym. Or what about hitting an arcade to bring back memories?

7. Mini Golf - who doesn't end up having fun at mini golf?

8. If it's not a date, bring a kid to play ball or frisbee at a park or field.

9. Attend an event - many cities/towns offer free nights at museums, or free local concerts, as well as other downtown events. Maybe there's an inexpensive class offered nearby?

10. Volunteer somewhere together. There's so many needs out there. You could help at a food pantry, organizing at a clothing drive, habitat for humanity does projects for those in need, and local churches regularly have opportunities to volunteer in the community. 

Whatever you choose, do something different and it doesn't have to cost a lot of money to do it. Just be creative.

Living Simply: Are you ready to make changes?

How do you know if you're ready to make some serious changes in your life? Maybe you made a few attempts to start? Maybe you've given it a lot of thought but never really gave it a true effort yet? Maybe you've messed up for what you hope is the last time and you're ready to live your life differently? Maybe life is forcing you to change the path you're on so now is the best time to make a new start - the RIGHT way? In any case, here's a few ideas how to figure out if you're ready to make changes:

1.  Have you figured out you're done with the "hamster wheel" yet? Most of us get to a point where we figure out we're just chasing out tails, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results (which, by the way, is the definition of insanity!). You may have gotten to that point where you know you've missed out on years of what could've been a better life because you were caught up in the rat race. Home to work to home, 5, 6, or even 7 days a week. You may have missed some important time or events with your family, your children's childhood, your neglected spouse, not been there for friends when they needed you. If this sounds like where you're at - You're ready.

2.  Has the pull of "stuff" worn off yet? Are you realizing you own so much stuff that it's everywhere, it takes hours to maintain, it's cluttering your world? Have you said to yourself that you'd rather spend money on travel, or experiences, rather than buy more stuff you don't need? Have you figured out that people who pay for storage because they have more stuff than they need (and don't ever see it or use it) don't have it all figured out? Have you pictured yourself enjoying life instead of collecting material things?  - You're ready.

3.  Have you lost your thankfulness? Do you find yourself complaining more than you'd like and having less and less to be thankful for? Are you thinking that you'd like to be able to appreciate the most important things and people in life (even the smallest things)?  - You're ready.

4.  Does living unconventionally sound appealing these days? Are you tired of doing what everyone else is doing just to find out everyone else is just as miserable because the world's thinking isn't working? Are you excited about the chance to live with less, have more time and space and money by making different choices? Are you ready to feel free to live life on your terms instead of keeping up with those around you (often by lying, presenting yourself as more rich and important than you financially are)? Are you ready to live a life that's simple, honest, and free? - You're ready.

5.  Are you ready to streamline your life? Can you remove the unwanted clutter in your home, office, digital world, computer, commitments, and relationships - keeping ONLY what is necessary and brings you joy? - You're ready.

I hope today finds you ready. You only get to live this life once. You better make the most of it, doing what's important to you, not pretending to be "like everybody else". Make a new start - today.

Living Simply: 5 minute increments

I hear busy young adults say they don't have "time" to become minimalists or live simply. They say they would have to have an entire weekend off just to clean out their bedroom closet, another weekend for the kitchen and living room, and even more time off from school, work, and other obligations just to get to a good starting point. Is it me or does that sound crazy? You have so much stuff you can't even throw it out without days to plan for it? You would need weeks to go through all the stuff you have around your home? To me it sounds like too much stuff - but I'm not here to tell anyone how to live - just to offer help for those who WANT to make changes. Here's a question to those young adults: How much time are you actually using or enjoying all those things you don't have time for now?

Today I'll give you some things you can do in 5 minute increments throughout your day, throughout your week, and throughout your month, that over time can add up to much more simplicity than you'd expect.

Daily:

5 minutes of stretching
5 minutes to eat breakfast at home, even if it's instant oatmeal, toast, fruit and yogurt, a smoothie...
     (if you don't, you'll be more tempted to eat junk food or skip breakfast & over eat at lunch)
5 minutes to just breathe before you take your first step out of bed
5 minutes to plan your day's most important things, or maybe just 5 minutes to glance at a planner
5 minutes to take the stairs, or park a little further away, to work in some quick "extra" exercise

Weekly:

5 minutes to toss out junk mail, old magazines, stacks of papers, just a quick sweep through your
     office, living room, or kitchen counter
5 minutes to plan a few meals cooked at home or 5 minutes to pack a lunch of leftovers saving money
5 minutes to message a friend/relative/neighbor who may be lonely, just let them know you're
     thinking of them
5 minutes to do something nice for someone: carry groceries for a neighbor, hold the door open for
     someone, thank the janitor for what they do, encourage someone who needs it, etc.
5 minutes to make plans to do something you've been putting off that's fun - plan a day with friends,
     make reservations for dinner out, plan a friends game night, plan a quick weekend getaway

Monthly:

5 minutes to go through an area looking for unused things to toss or donate. This could be in your
     closet, movie or book collection, kitchen dishes/utensils, shoes & purses & belts, extra stuff in
     the linen closet, old makeup/perfume/lotions, anything that needs cleaning up
5 minutes to straighten out that one area that always gets cluttered: entryway, counters, desk, etc.
5 minutes to just think about if there's a new hobby or class you'd like to take on
5 minutes to consider if you should cancel plans/meetings that you really don't want nor need to do
5 minutes to think about how your health is doing and what changes need to be made

Living Simply: Falling Off the Wagon

I don't know if you're familiar with the expression, "falling off the wagon" or not, but that's what happened to me. It means you were on track to do something but you went off track for a while. That was me. I've been living simply for almost a year now, continuing in my minimalism mindset, but then it happened...the stress got away from me.

As many of you know, it's my first time in college in decades and it's so much harder now. There's no books, only online textbooks, online resources, online database articles, academic articles, and so much to remember for tests with nothing but lecture notes. How good or bad those notes are definitely depend on the teacher's ability to bring the information to you in a clear way that's easy to understand. If the teacher gets side tracked, or tells too many personal stories, it's easy to misunderstand the most important points and not do so well on the tests.

I have to admit, other than school stress, my life is pretty good compared to my closest circle of friends. Right now I have been up nights praying for healing, miracles, marriages/divorces, guidance, truth, protection, health, peace, rest, salvation, finances, and so much more - for my friends - for weeks on end now.

So here I am far too long since my last post, exhausted mentally, which is making me feel tired physically too. So if you fall "off the wagon" of simple living too now and then, it's okay. It happens. Life is happening to and around all of us. No one's perfect. What you and I both need to do is get back ON THE WAGON. Don't abandon all you've learned so far. What are some strategies?

1. Take a breather. It may be just a few hours away in the mountains or at the lake. It may be lunch or dinner with someone you care about. It may be a nap in the middle of the day on your day off. Just take that few hours to recharge. There's no way to recover without taking a breather.

2. ReFocus. What are your plans? Are you heading in the right direction? Are you still making baby steps in the right direction to get you where you eventually want to be? Remember the times when you DID have a handle on things and you could better handle stress and let go of things that you don't need to worry about controlling.

3. Start again. When you wake up tomorrow, wake up with the intent of doing what's most important to you. Don't drag yesterday's stuff around with you. Go back to your minimalism or simple living roots. Don't over complicate things. You just handle one thing at a time. You'll get back on track.

So like I have to learn to do...forgive yourself for letting things get out of hand for a while, and start again ready to face the world in a more calm, mindful, intentional way. You and I CAN choose how we react or respond to things. Let go of what is out of your control anyway. And breathe!

Living Simple: Simple Things Daily

I was reading a post from The Minimalists last week that made a lot of sense. Joshua Fields Millburn was talking about how doing simple things every day, by building them into your day, you can accomplish much more than you thought. His example was that he writes in a room upstairs. At the bottom of the stairs he has a pull-up bar. Every single time he goes downstairs, he does 5 or 6 quick pull-ups. He stated that at the end of the day, he's gotten in another maybe 60 pull-ups he never would have made time to do as a stand alone activity. This got me thinking...what else can we do a little at a time throughout our day to get more done in the long run? Here's a few ideas:

1. Leave a book in the bathroom - I know these days most people spend bathroom time on their phones, but since we already do that all day long, why not read for a few minutes? Something educational, or about somewhere we want to go, or a self-help book to improve our relationships, finances, or enrich our lives? If you found a book with short chapters, you could get through a book a month, reading 12 new books a year. That's a LOT of information you otherwise wouldn't get.

2.  Leave floss out next to the bathroom sink. If you flossed quickly every time you washed your hands, your next dental visit would go much better and save you hundreds if not thousands later because you've neglected in-between your teeth and developed cavities.

3.  Keep a shelf-stable healthy snack in your purse, backpack, or vehicle. This way when you're away from home and busy, you can still eat healthy instead of stopping into some fast food drive through for something that will hurt you in the long run.

4.  Take the stairs when you can instead of an elevator. At the end of a week, month, or year, you'll have gotten so much more exercise than you would have otherwise.

5.  Keep a refillable water bottle with you at all times. If you have something to drink at your disposal, you can sip on it all day instead of trying to gulp down multiple cups at a time, or worse, drinking sugary/diet chemically-laden drinks. Getting in your 8 cups a day will be easier than ever. I know one person who keeps a glass of water next to her kitchen sink. Every time she goes to the sink, she takes a drink, about 1/4 - 1/2 of that glass each time, easily getting in more water than planning it.

What other ideas can you come up with to add some good things to your day? It'll help you in the long run.

Living Simply: The Getaway

 
Sorry I've been gone for the last 10 days. It was my Spring Break at college and my husband's 4 days home this month fell at the same time. When he's home, he becomes my #1 priority and I go mostly offline. We also did a quick getaway during break. Let me explain the power of a getaway, even if it's just overnight or a weekend.

In many places, winter is really long. Here, our summer is like that. In both cases, you feel pretty trapped, like you have to hibernate until better weather comes along. The increased stress levels of having to deal with the day-to-day stuff of life, the curve balls others throw at you, the winter illnesses that either keep coming back or are almost impossible to get rid of, and then dealing with it all while fighting nature's elements - it does get to people. Many find themselves on a daily basis with thoughts like, "I can't wait til this season is over" or "how many more months til I can take a vacation", or "will there even be enough time and money to take off for a week this year"? Does that sound familiar? Are you at that point? Here's where a getaway comes in. 

What about getting away for just a quick trip? Maybe you want to head north or south (to better weather) for a weekend? Maybe you just need to get out of your town for an overnight in the mountains, or by the water, or to a friend/relative's house? In some cases, maybe you just need to get in your car Saturday morning, drive somewhere secluded by yourself, stay in a cheap (but safe) place, wake up refreshed, clear your head, and be home by dark the next day. It may not seem like much, but it really can do a lot of things for you. Consider the following:

1.  Without time to rest and recharge, you burn out faster - in your job, or worse, in your relationships.

2.  Connect with real people - OFFLINE. Get away with friends, or your family, or a relative.

3.  When you take time to recharge, you increase both your creativity and productivity. 

4.  Take time to listen to your own head, your thoughts, your desires, your "gut", and untie some of those knots in your life.

5.  Every marriage could use a spark now and then. A getaway where you two are the only focus can do wonders for your relationship.

6.  Make time for hobbies - bicycling through the wooded paths, walking along the beach, fishing, photography, whatever you enjoy but haven't had time to do lately. 

7.  Consider your health. Chronic stress leads to a lack of ability to fight off infections, sleep suffers, digestion suffers, depression, anxiety, and irritability set in, not to mention increased risks for heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, and other illnesses. Your body NEEDS time off now and then.

Plan your next getaway. It may be just an overnight visit during Easter or other upcoming holiday, maybe it'll be sooner than that. In any case, start planning your quick getaway this week. 

Living Simply: Pay It Forward

It's been a while since I blogged about this topic, and today is a wonderful time to bring it up again. The concept is to Pay It Forward. If you haven't heard of it before, here's the foundation of it:

Do something nice for someone else, not for someone who did something nice for you, and tell them to do something nice to "pay it forward" as well (instead of repaying you for your kindness). 

If possible: do it for someone who you know could never repay you anyway.

So what does that look like? First let me explain the last part. Maybe you need to forgive someone who can't repay you, for example, forgiving a parent for a bad childhood. It's too late for them to re-do it all over again, they're powerless to change the past, but you let them know that all is forgiven. This works with an ex-partner, estranged child or sibling, old bosses, neighbors, etc.

The beauty of it is that you do something nice for 3 people, then they do the same, then they do the same, and it could make a difference in your family, workplace, neighborhood, or community. Spreading help, joy, and love - what's better than that? Now what is something positive you can do for someone so they can do something nice for others? Here's a few ideas:

• Call someone you know needs a friend right now
• Help someone who you pass that's homeless - it could be money, food, bottled water, etc.
• Write a note, email, or even text to someone letting them know you appreciate them
• Pick an event or charity where you can do a one-day volunteer opportunity
• Compliment someone (it must be sincere), maybe someone overlooked, like a janitor.
• Pray for someone you know is struggling
• Donate to a food bank or a shelter, especially if you find a Buy One Get One Free sale
• Do a task for a friend/family member like doing laundry, washing their car, etc.
• Bring a meal to someone who's going through a rough time, or is sick, or too busy to cook
• Volunteer to babysit for a single parent who needs some alone time 
• Babysit for a couple so they can have a much-needed date night
• Pay for coffee for the customer behind you in line or in a drive-through
• Give someone a ride when they don't have a working car
• Donate blood with your local Red Cross organization
• Recycle your stuff - donate toys to a school or church, give magazines to a nursing home, etc.
• Invite someone over for dinner - even if you just serve pizza or take-out.
• Hold the door open for the person behind you
• Smile at someone who looks like they're having a rough day, be nice
• Bake treats for a neighbor, friend, or loved one

The list is endless, be creative, and be kind to others. Have a great weekend.

Living Simply: Let It Go

Today was the perfect chance to live out what I blog, speak, and teach. Today was the last day before my college Spring Break. I had 2 tests today, one in Statistics and one in a Psychology class. First, you should know that I've always been a little OCD, I am an over-achiever, and if I get a 97% or a 98% on a test, I want to know why. Today, I got a 90% and an 87%. Had this been last semester or even the beginning of this one (back in January), I might have panicked, especially getting a B. I have a perfect 4.0 GPA and if I maintain it, it means thousands of more money in scholarships, so there's something tangible to lose.

When I got my grades, I wasn't happy. In fact, I thought I really did do better on both. But I know what I teach and blog about - so it was time to live it out. I decided that a 90 is still an A, still a 4.0, so I let it go. Nothing changes the grade by me stressing over it. If I did, how would I focus enough to do well on the next test a little while later?

When I got the grade back that was a B, I was a bit surprised, but I knew the tests questions were worded very differently than they were in the lecture and on the worksheets. I talked to several classmates outside the class after we were done testing. They all had very similar issues with the test, and my friend in class reminded me that this teacher drops your lowest test grade anyway, so one test is no big deal if I study harder and do better next time.


This was the first time in my life that I didn't stress over the grades. I was truly able to just let it go. I didn't carry the anxiety into the next classes. I kept a great, happy, relaxed attitude all day. I've been like a whole new person. I seriously recommend this whole "living simply" attitude and outlook!

On one last note, when I got home I looked to see what the average was for the class, along with the highest/lowest grades in class. (It's anonymous, just the number is visible.) In Statistics, the average was a 62, the highest was a 96, so a 90 is really good. In the psychology class, the average was a 77, the highest was a 93, and I got an 87. That's pretty good too. The teacher already put an "x" next to that test with a note saying it'll be dropped, because he knows I usually get high 90s on his tests. All in all, not too bad. I also found out I got a 97.5% on my History quiz yesterday.

What does this mean for you? When things don't work out to perfection, take a deep breath, keep them in the proper perspective, don't panic, and just know it'll be okay. Have a great rest of the week.

Living Simply: Spring Cleaning

     Now that spring is almost here (although I know that's hard to believe in many places right now), it's time to start thinking about how to start spring with a clean house that feels refreshed. It's time to chase out the closed in feeling of months in hibernation. Even where it's warm and sunny all winter, this is a time to prepare a few things before the summer heat sets in around May.

1.  Time to do a quick de-cluttering again. Over the winter things accumulate. Set a timer and go through each room, even if it's just one a day, and declutter for say 10 or 15 minutes. What things are you looking to get rid of? Regift or donate gifts you've gotten in the past few months you know you'll never use or need. Donate stacks of magazines and books that could benefit someone else (maybe a doctor's office, hairdressers, nursing home, library). Do a quick sweep of your pantry for items that are still good but you know you won't use them - donate them to a food bank or shelter. Throw out old take out menu coupons. Look in your closet and remove anything you haven't worn in the last 3-6 months and probably won't in the near future.

2.  Clean. Dust whatever shelves, furniture, art, and other things that need it. Dust your blinds, ceiling fans, and curtains (or wash them if you can). Wash all your bedding. Vacuum neglected areas. Maybe even call in a service to shampoo and steam clean rugs and upholstery.

3.  Service your heating/air conditioning units, and have the duct work cleaned. It's cheaper than problems later.

4.  Clean your vehicles. Remove the trash, vacuum it out, wipe down the glass, dust the rest, remove spots from the seats if you can, and give it a good wash. If you live in an area with salted roads, you really need to keep it off your car to prevent premature rusting.

5.  Office areas need attention too. File away what you need to keep. Scan what you can to avoid tons of papers. Dust and vacuum. Clear the desktop for a more productive work environment. Remove clutter that's been put down and forgotten.

6.  Bathrooms get filled so quickly with bath, body, and beauty products. Take time to throw out anything that's old (especially makeup), donate lotions, hair products, and other things you thought you wanted but now realize you never use it. Use up those half-filled containers so you only keep what you're currently using. It seems like everywhere I go, people's bathrooms are filled with dozens of half-filled products because they start one, bring home a new one, and never get back to using up or throwing out the old one.

7.  Outdoors. Clean up trash. If you live where it doesn't snow, rake or sweep up around your home, patios and balconies for apartments too. Wash the windows when you get a nice day (or pay someone to do it). Get rid of old holiday decorations left sitting outside. It's March. You shouldn't still have Christmas lights on your house.

8.  Finally, take one day and really wash and disinfect your home - floors, counters, sinks, bathrooms, all doorknobs and light switches wiped down, change batteries in smoke alarms, wipe down cabinets, clean mirrors, wipe down table tops in the kitchen, dining room, and living room, change out any burnt light bulbs, etc.

This may take you a week, maybe even two, working a little bit each day - but once you're done - you'll feel like your space is refreshed, healthier, and more relaxing. It's worth it.

Living Simply: Obstacles to simple living

I've noticed for the past 8 weeks or so, life has been a continuing series of one time events (stole that quote from my friend, Bill). Sometimes life throws obstacles at you in rapid succession, they aren't one continuous thing you failed to address, just a bunch of random, one time events, one after another. When this happens, it's hard to live the simple life you're trying to adopt. So what types of things "attack you" and what can you do about it?

1.  Illness/sickness/allergies - This one hits randomly. I've convinced it has nothing to do with protective measures anymore. You can be around people coughing and sneezing and be fine, yet you come down with something when you're using sanitizer and locking yourself away from everyone possible.  - So what can you do about it? You can try home remedies, natural remedies, increase your immune boosters like vitamin C and garlic (a natural antibiotic) but the truth is, it will last as long as it lasts, and will go when it's "done with you". So to live more simply, take the time to rest when you need to. Don't be the hero. All it does is take you longer to heal. Sleep. Nap. Cancel a few things if you must. Rest is the only real determining factor once you know it's not something super serious requiring prescriptions. And if it is serious, accepting it, taking your medication, and resting is all you can do anyway. Enjoy the extra rest.

2.  Projects you must complete - For some it's a work project with a deadline, for me, it's a college assignment, like a 10 page report in perfect English grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. Maybe it's research you must do before you can begin an on-coming project. - What can you do about it? If it becomes the priority in your world, then give it your full attention. Trying to do a bit here and there will not give you the best results and it makes your efforts twice as hard. Set aside a block of time to get the thing done so you can move forward with a new priority as soon as possible. Giving it your full attention will assure it's most likely done right the first time.

3.  Life throws stuff at you sometimes - you may experience a string of things like a flat tire, your bank account has been hacked, your phone died, and you're car won't start, all in the same week. It sucks but it happens. Take a step back. Breathe. Handle one thing at a time. Make whatever appointment needs to be made, set aside time to talk to those who can help you. Just get through them one thing at a time. It won't be this way forever.

4.  Other people need you - It could be your partner, kids, coworkers, aging parents, friends, neighbors, just about anyone. They need your particular set of skills or a ride to and from somewhere, or for you to volunteer for something in a pinch. This is where you need to know and trust your own judgement. If it can wait until a more convenient time, reschedule your help. If it has a deadline AND you feel it's something you can and should do, then do it and don't look back, give it your best. If it's something that's very inconvenient, timing is wrong, and it's not your responsibility, then a polite "no" is allowed. Don't feel guilty. The other person will either get over it or they won't. You must decide what you can and cannot handle - especially if it's for someone you know doesn't come to the aid of others when they need it, or if the person who habitually needs you because they do nothing to help themselves. No guilt. Don't lose sleep over it. Don't let their emotional manipulation get to you. Just give them a polite "no" and move on. Again, if it IS your responsibility, then be an adult and handle it quickly, with best intentions, and then you're free to move onto something else.

Living Simply: How I've changed

     About a year ago, I re-watched The Minimalists' documentary on Netflix called "Minimalism" for the second time, and I knew that's the direction I wanted to head. The first thing I did was take some time to think about it. What was I looking for that I didn't find yet in my life? Why did the documentary make me want to change? How could I be happier by getting rid of things I had bought over the years - after all - didn't I buy them because I DID want them? Could I life a more simple life in a pretty large family, in a pretty large house? (I couldn't downsize since we won't be empty nesters for a few more years, plus we were relocating my mother and brother here to give them both a new start.

     I started looking around for other things online related to minimalism, then living a simple life. I came across Joshua Becker, a man with a family who lived in my state and was making it work, but his reasons were a little different. The minimalists are great, I've met them, but it seemed easier since they were single guys (with girlfriends, not entire families). Joshua was able to explain the WHY of it in a way that related to me...to simplify life, to spend more time with those you love. It wasn't about simply eliminating the unwanted and unnecessary from your life, it was also about adding important relationships. Upon further reading, I found this way of life was doable whether you're a single guy backpacking across the world with nothing but what fits in your pack, or a family guy with a houseful of kids. I decided to give it a try.

   
 I started in my room, closet, and drawers. Then I moved into the kitchen, dining room, and pantry. Next I went through the other rooms removing everything that no longer brought me joy, added value, nor served a functional purpose anymore. I removed FOUR MINIVANS FULL! And that wouldn't be the last of it. I probably continue to drop off things about once a month (including things my family no longer needs). I got rid of books I'd kept for years but read numerous times. I gave away movies, clothes, kitchen utensils, dishes, mixing bowls, and a ton of knick knacks and decorations. Now, the house has so much less to deal with. If the average home has 300,000 items according to statistics, I personally have reduced my own to about 10% of what I had, and about 50% of what's in the house (I don't force those I live with to do without because of my own preferences).

     So what is life like now? If you've read my blog over the last 6 months or more, you'll see I really do live a more simple life. I still go down for the count with illnesses or have stressful situations to get through, I'm not trying to show you some make-believe phony life. I just handle things differently now. I take time to enjoy peace and quiet, time with family, doing things with friends, and getting enough sleep without feeling guilty. I make time for the important things, which right now is maintaining my 4.0 GPA while running a home, being a mom, making sure my own mother is taken care of, and having a husband who's gone close to 300 days a year. I just handle it better. Why? Because I have "room to breathe", and time to think. I handle things better because I don't stress over things that haven't happened yet. They say 95% of things we worry about NEVER even happen, and the other 5% is almost always things we have no control over anyway.

     Watch the documentary. Read about Joshua Becker online. Think through how much stuff you've accumulated that you don't need, it takes up space, it requires time to take care of it, and why you still hold onto it. Maybe it's time for you to simplify your own life, to intentionally calm your life down, and just enjoy being in the moment, and enjoying more peace of mind, and more rewarding relationships. Have a great week.

Living Simply: Begin with the End in Mind

Sorry the blog has been less consistent this month. Some of my college homework and projects are more intense than I anticipated. I also just got over having some kind of intestinal virus from either dirty ice cubes or bad water in a restaurant or something. I also had a houseful of people here all weekend. Although today will be super busy working on school, I didn't want to neglect keeping in touch with all of you.

Today I'm going to expand a bit on a topic I selected for a speech and slide show presentation I'm giving tomorrow in Public Speaking class. I'm going to recommend the book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Dr. Stephen Covey. It's a life changing book if you really dig into it. The audio book if actually done by him is also very good. Anyway, in the book about the 7 habits, there is one that really stands out, Habit 2, Begin with the End in Mind. What does that mean? It means to start every day with either a vision of where you want to be, what destination you're trying to reach, what goals you would set for yourself. Then, breaking it down backwards, figuring out a plan or a map to get you headed in the right direction, then breaking it down to baby steps to get you moving towards your destination. It's about developing a habit of choosing something to do every day to move you closer to where you want to be.

This works in many areas of life:

1. Relationships - Figure out what you want your relationships to look like, what your marriage could become if you gave it the attention it deserves, etc. Then work towards that in the way you speak, act, think towards others, and how you treat them.

2. Livelihood - Do you want a dream job? To own your own business? To turn a hobby into an income producing vehicle for you? Figure it out, learn what you need to do that, and begin moving in that direction.

3. Lifestyle - Are you financially strapped? Have you wanted to travel but never got around to it? Are you trying to find a way to spend more time at home with your family? Would you rather live somewhere else in the country? or in the world? Figure out what your perfect life would look like, then work your map backwards so your baby steps will get you there - once you start making intentional decisions.

You don't have to wait decades just to end up saying, "How did I get stuck here?" You can start today making the changes necessary to make your dreams come true. And yes, this works well even if your goal is to be a minimalist, or just live a more simple life. How else will you ever rid yourself of the unnecessary to pursue what you'd really enjoy doing with your time and money and those you love? Read that book. Best of luck on your journey.

Living Simply: A new generation of minimalists?

I had to give a speech in Public Speaking class yesterday. It was supposed to be about 2 pieces of clothing that are special, or define me, or are filled with memories. Well, when you have a minimalist's Capsule Wardrobe, you have to make adjustments. I got permission to speak on 2 "things" from my closet, so I spoke on 1 shirt in particular that I had to embellish to complete the assignment, but the second thing was my Capsule Wardrobe.

Speaking to a roomful of about 20 students, all of them between 18 and about 25 (except me), was interesting. I figured they would just listen to me for the 5 minutes or so, and move on. Instead, the reaction I got was amazing by this new generation coming up in the world! They said they loved the topic, the idea of minimalism (more so than the capsule wardrobe alone), and the idea of having more time and money to do what they want to do. The class is required to give anonymous feedback in the form of 2 categories:  What they liked best, and what they felt needed improvement on my speech. As for the latter, it was tiny stuff like more eye contact - I have a habit of looking up when I'm thinking - and I did this without notes. The responses I got on what they liked best was so encouraging to me! They wrote not about my style, or gestures, or personal stuff, but about how they want to learn more about minimalism. That's exactly what I was hoping would happen; that they would be interested in a different lifestyle. Being an older student and a mom, I want to see these young adults grow up making better choices than the previous one. I want to see them let go of the mass consumerism, fueled by mindless consumption for the sake of status, or just thinking stuff will make them happy.

So in a time when the typical 20-somethings are eating Tide pods (laundry detergent) for fun and internet attention, I'm happy to say there is a smart group who are seeking a better way. A generation rising up that doesn't want to be chained to an unfulfilling 40+ hour workweek. They want to live intentionally, they want money left over to support charities and things that are important to them, and maybe, just maybe, minimalism can be the tool they find to do just that.

Living Simply: What would you tell YOU?

Let's take a few minutes today to really think...knowing what you know now, as you're working towards either minimalism or just a more simple, intentional life, after you've begun decluttering and getting rid of so much stuff you've accumulated mindlessly over the years...what would you tell your younger self if you went back in time? Maybe something like this?

1.  THINK about your buying habits. Figure out what are impulsive, emotional wants and what are actual needs. There are so many better things to spend your money on than just the clutter and material junk that advertisers and store sale signs tell you to buy.

2.  BE CREATIVE. Can you borrow the book, music, or movie, or get it from the library instead of buying it? (Especially textbooks for college!), Can you buy top brand clothes from a discounted store like an outlet store? Ross, Marshall's or TJ Maxx? Have you considered Goodwill for basic items like bakeware or electronics?

3.  Think about EXPERIENCES. Instead of always buying things for yourself and others, what about purchasing experiences instead, full of lifelong memories and opportunities for strengthening relationships? Instead of a sweater, purse, movie, shoes, music, etc., what about buying theater or movie tickets? restaurant gift cards? bowling gift certificates? tickets to an event, concert, sporting event, or trade show? how about an overnight stay at a bed and breakfast?

4.  Don't buy more than you need, especially CLOTHING. Most people wear the same few items and never touch 80% of their closet's contents. If it doesn't fit anymore, donate it. If it's out of style, toss it. If it's stained or has holes that prevents you from wearing it regularly, throw it out. If it's a style that doesn't really suit you, give it away. Stop hoarding stuff you'll never wear.

5.  Be INTENTIONAL with your time. Don't waste time doing things you hate. Instead, create more time to do what brings you joy or adds value to your life. Spend it with those you love instead of scrolling on your phone or sitting on your computer all night. Why watch a movie alone when you can watch with friends or family? Make time to get away, breathe fresh air, fellowship with others.

Now that we've gone through this little thinking exercise, imagine what your older self would say to you NOW. What will your wiser self tell you to change? How or in what areas would your future self tell you to start growing? What will your older self tell you to do today so your future is even better? Then start today taking those baby steps to move you toward the direction you need to go, for you. May you also enjoy the journey.

Living Simply: Quotes

Today, enjoy these sayings and quotes about living a simple life:

“It is desirable that a man live in all respects so simply and preparedly that if an enemy take the town... he can walk out the gate empty-handed and without anxiety.” 
― Henry David Thoreau, Walden

“Well, all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head.” 
― Hal Leonard Publishing Company, OneRepublic: Dreaming Out Loud

“Arranging a bowl of flowers in the morning sun can give a sense of quiet in a crowded day - like writing a poem, or saying a prayer.” 
― Anne Morrow Lindbergh

“Forget about the money for a moment. Lose yourself in the wilderness, listen to the music of the softly blowing winds, feel the rain on your bare skin, let the mountains take the burden off your shoulders.” 
― Kiran Bisht

“The simple life is an authentic life.” 
― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

“The greatest life is the joy of contentment.” 
― Lailah Gifty Akita

“Real luxury is not working like a maniac to take an expensive vacation--it is living a life you enjoy every day.” 
― Kathy Gottberg, Rightsizing * a Smart Living 365 Guide to Reinventing Retirement

“When the living gets unburdened with needs and desires, the life becomes simple and easy to carry.” 
― Shashi, Songs of the Mist

This next collection I especially like because they come from what we would think of as a more simple time, some over a century ago, yet just as fitting today, if not more so...

1948. Jackie French Koller. “There are two ways to be rich: One is by acquiring much, and the other is by desiring little.”

1947. Linda Breen Pierce. “Simplicity involves unburdening your life, and living more lightly with fewer distractions that interfere with a high quality life, as defined uniquely by each individual.”

1943. Tenzin Palmo. “One of the advantages of being born in an affluent society is that if one has any intelligence at all, one will realize that having more and more won’t solve the problem, and happiness does not lie in possessions, or even relationships: The answer lies within ourselves. If we can’t find peace and happiness there, it’s not going to come from the outside.”

1940s. Duane Elgin. “The intention of voluntary simplicity is not to dogmatically live with less. It’s a more demanding intention of living with balance. This is a middle way that moves between the extremes of poverty and indulgence.”

1940s. Richard Foster. “We really must understand that the lust for affluence in contemporary society is psychotic. It is psychotic because it has completely lost touch with reality. We crave things we neither need nor enjoy.”

1899. Edwin Way Teale. “Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves.”

1886. Mies Van Der Rohe. “Less is more.” 

1879. Will Rogers. “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.”

1836. Anna C. Brackett. “We go on multiplying our conveniences only to multiply our cares. We increase our possessions only to the enlargement of our anxieties.”

1834. William Morris. “Have nothing in your homes that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”

Living Simply: Evaluate

How do you know if you're on the right track with simplifying your life? Here are a few ideas:

1.  Have you figured out what's most important to you? Keeping the roof over your head may seem like a practical goal, but what's important enough to you that you wanted to make a change in the first place? Is it to declutter your home? Is it to ease work anxiety? Is it to improve your health and add peace to your life? Is it to pursue a new career or hobby you "never had time" to chase before? Is it to simply spend more of your time with those you love most - like your spouse or significant other, your kids, or your closest circle of friends? Figure that out first. It's like the blueprint to figure out what fits into that "goal" (I hate to use that word from corporate America, but for explanation purposes it fits.) and what to remove from your life.

2.  How do you spend your time at work? Do you say yes to things you should say no to? This can be work-related or even just the after-work "join us for drinks" sessions you may want to drop/add depending on what you figured out in #1. 

3.  What about how you spend your time every day? Are you habitually late? Always too early? Do you climb into bed knowing too much went undone but you know you moved up a few levels on your favorite PC or video game? Do you climb into bed knowing you did all the important things intentionally, and so you don't have to feel guilty about the few things you did to unwind? Know where your time goes.

4.  How's your home life - busy or relaxing? Every day may be different, but in general, is it too busy at home or have you been able to make it into your retreat? Are there things you can delegate? Are there things that you really could let go of because they're not as important as your #1 values? Drop what you don't need. Include what's important. Find your balance.

5.  Have you decluttered your media? If you're storing things you'll never really need, let them go. If you have thousands of emails and an overstuffed "recycle bin" on your computer - time to let it go. Are there files from years ago you no longer need? Do you carry around apps with you that don't serve your intentional simple living plans? Delete it. Stacks of photos in a drawer? Scan them to a thumb drive.

6.  Have your shopping habits changed? Do you still mindlessly purchase things you see or do you now find yourself going to stores for something specific and being okay to wait on it if they don't have it? I've been in about 8 stores looking for a comforter or quilt that fits our bed (ordered a queen but coming from another country, it's the size of a U.S. full one, so it's too short and it drives me crazy every day. I won't buy one just because it's cheap, or "it's all they had". I will wait until I find the right one, at the right price, that brings me joy. 

7.  Are you working towards a healthier life? Are you eating at least a little better than before your journey? Are you getting in some walking or functional exercise? Getting fresh air now and then? Doing something physical instead of sedentary (think bowling instead of sitting at a movie eating junk)? Even if you can't stay on a totally healthy routine, can you eat just one off-plan meal a day? Or cut down to just one cheat day a week? Decide what your health is worth to you, and go earn it.

8.  Peace. Do you have it? Remember to take small breaks throughout the day to clear your head, get a change of scenery (even if it's just a walk from your cubicle to the bathroom). Are you getting to bed earlier enough that you can rest before having to wake up in the morning? Make time to recharge. Make time to rest your mind and your body when they need it. You'll end up more productive in the end. 

Hope this helps. Have a great week! 

Living Simply: Colleges are Feeding Mindless Consumerism

Not sure if I mentioned this, but I'm a full-time college student. I carry 5 classes, which is 15 hours of "seat time" and another 30 hours of homework per week. Yes, the teachers all made sure to remind us to expect 2 hours of homework for each in-class hour per week, so 6 hours a week per class. Anyway...

I have been pretty surprised that many of my classes require as a first assignment to be a written essay or speech to the class that has us bring in or display a slide show of OBJECTS that have INTENSE MEANING, or DEFINE WHO I AM, or HOLD THE MOST OR MOST IMPORTANT MEMORY for me. Really???!!! I've had to bring in something I supposedly collect, articles of clothing that are supposed to define me, photo collages of things that describe me...I wish I could get an A by handing in a blank piece of paper, or do a slideshow of blank slides, then give a speech or essay about how things don't do that for me, they don't define who I am, I am not represented by logos and brand names, and oh, for 5 minutes to publicly explain minimalism and intentional, simple living!!! Then I get to sit through classmates' stories about how they value their Gucci sweatshirt, their Louis Vuitton purses, or Michael Kors clothing, watches, etc.

I may get close next week. I told my teacher in public speaking that I'm a minimalist so I won't be able to truly do what she asked. I asked if I could bring in a photo of my capsule wardrobe, explain how I'm a minimalist, and why having a capsule wardrobe is more important to me than two closets full of clothes I've collected for decades. She's allowing it - so we'll see how she grades it.

My English teacher still hasn't graded my photo asking for a collage of meaningful things that describe me and it's been several weeks now. I'll give you the gist of it. Picture a bare metal, mirrored end table, against a stark white wall, reflecting a bible and a glass of water. It looked like a professionally done poster, and better than some of the other students who just piled stuff on a desk without any artistic effort. The glass I wrote is my "the glass is always more than half full" attitude and my faith is the most important thing to me. It's the foundation of my values, thoughts, and how I treat others as I go through this life. Simple. Intentional. Artistic. We'll see what she thinks.

For Communication I needed a slide show of 3 items complete with a detailed story of why those things are important. I brought in 3 baseball items (opening day ticket, season ticket holder pass, and a signed baseball). I turned it around though. I spoke of how baseball brought me and my daughter close at a tough time in her life. My speech was essentially about her and our relationship, while the things were just evidence of experiences we enjoyed together.

Can you imagine asking this in any other country than America? In many countries, the most important things are often the ONE pot the family's meals are cooked in, the ONE pair of shoes given at the right time, or the ONE book smuggled into an area where they are forbidden or not something that people can afford? Such materialism. It's so awful.

So here's a question for you:  If you had to write about, give a speech on, or display a slideshow of THINGS that are important to you, or define you...what would you do? It's hard when you know your memories are in your mind, not "in" the object. I'd love to hear from you on this one.

Living Simply: Now what?

Okay, so if you've decided it's worth living a more intentional, more simple, minimalist lifestyle...and you already get that there's going to be some de-cluttering, the big question is, "Now what?" It looks different for everyone based on personality, where you live, who you live with, the size of your household (you can't magically convert everyone else to your new lifestyle, so don't push them). Here are a few pointers though to get you started with a few baby steps:

1.  Take some scheduled time to figure out YOU. Who are you? What kind of person are you? Have you been doing what's important and what you like to do, or are you following what everyone else tells you that you should be doing? These questions will help you make important changes. Maybe you are right where you want to be, but maybe you know you're not in a good fit. Perhaps examining another field or occupation if it means living the life you know you want. Are you in a job you hate with no chance for advancement? Consider if school would help get you where you want to be. 

2.  What is your personality/temperament like? There are great books out there like Personality Plus, The 5 Love Languages, the D-I-S-C personality book, and more. Figure out what type of person you are as you go forward. Are you the life of the party, happy-go-lucky person? Are you the serious, organized, meticulous, planning type of person? Are you the easy-going person who never wants to be in charge but is happy to be a behind the scenes helper? Are you the take charge leader type? Can you see how knowing that may help you understand the type of job and life you want to lead? 

3.  What flaws in your life or personality might you want to work on to become better? Do you tend to interrupt others? habitually late? Bossy? Stubborn? Disorganized? A few baby steps may be taken to correct some of these things. You're no good to the world around you if you're part of the problem. 

4.  What are your priorities? Who are your priorities? It takes income to survive, and if you have a spouse or family depending on your, then don't quit your job to backpack across Europe. Maybe it's time to get to your kids' practices or games or recitals. Maybe it's time to schedule a once a week, or at least once a month, date nights with your spouse. Maybe paying off debt is the most important thing to less stress and anxiety so you can sleep better at night. Maybe it's all about spending less, buying only what you need and nothing more.

5.  Purge regularly - material possessions, I mean. Keep a box by the door, near the stairs, in the garage, etc. where you and your household can drop things to be donated. Throw out things you don't need as you come across them, like those old magazines you'll never read again. A few times a year (or seasonally) evaluate your closet. Get rid of what either doesn't fit or you aren't wearing because you don't like it anymore. Replace a few key pieces as needed to keep your wardrobe working for you - especially if it's a small capsule wardrobe with under 40 items.

6.  Detach from the objects you own. Giving emotional attachment to things instead of people is wrong, but it's what we're taught. Value people and appreciate them. Memories are in your mind, not in the things.

7.  Figure out what experiences and/or relationships you want to add to your life. Then make an intentional effort to do them and/or nurture them. Maybe it's to develop a friendship with other hikers or fisherman or yoga buddies? Maybe it's to travel with the person you love most? Maybe it's to learn a new skill? 

And don't be afraid to keep experimenting and defining who you are. It's a life-long process. Have fun with it!