Have you ever?

It's obviously been a crazy 3 months, and an even scarier few weeks. I removed myself from social media for a while because I couldn't stand the hatred, violence, and arrogance anymore. I have figured out that many people believe ONLY their opinion is right. If you agree with them 99.99%, it's not enough for them. You must parrot their opinion or be treated harshly. If this were just the case with one or two people, or even just those on one side of an argument, then it would be easier to dismiss as just a flaw in that person's character, but unfortunately, it's a wide-spread problem. I have watched from a distance and listened to many, many opinions on everything from Covid-19 "facts" and "lies", to the handling of a wrongful death by a corrupt man, to how the nation should move forward. What I've found is that instead of finding viable solutions, too many just want to take advantage of the situation, bully others, use events as excuses for releasing the worst in human beings, and many do nothing more productive than spew their own opinions from the safety of their homes and cell phones. Are these people shouting the loudest actually standing in the June heat side by side with protesters? Are they calling their family and friends caught up in these events asking them, "How would you have me help?", are they on the phone to their senators, congressmen, and governors? Or are they just condemning, shaming, and bullying others on social media?

My own opinions are just that, mine. I am entitled to them just as others strongly dictate that theirs are "superior" to everyone else. I won't comment on the Covid-19 issues because I know it totally depends on what state you live in, how it's being handled, your population vs square miles ratios, and it matters if you're a nurse or doctor dealing directly with infected patients vs someone who's never met anyone who got it, and don't even know OF a person your friends and family know who's had it.
It's a very different opinion based on those and other factors.

Want to make a real difference? Let's play a game...Have you ever?.......

Sat with someone raised in a village so poor they barely had a roof and dirt floor and listen to their perspective on things?

Spent hours with someone brought to this country as a 2 week old, and now as a 19 year old may have to lose her 2 full-time jobs, family, friends, and give up her college classes because any minute now a law may be signed to deport her to a country she's never been to because of someone else's mistake in how they brought her to America? BTW, she receives no government assistance, no scholarships or money for school, and does not qualify for any programs here.

Listened to someone who's Native American and works hard for everything he has, working 2 full-time jobs to feed his family while everyone thinks "they ALL get free casino money they spend on alcohol and drugs"? His answer is yes, many (but only certain tribes) do get money, and do waste it on those things, but that's not the case for everyone, and certainly not him or his family.

Taken the time to hear the stories of teens kicked out of their homes and left on the streets, homeless, because of their parents' views on LGBTQ? Before you say you have - what I'm talking about is a straight young lady who got kicked out for saying, "Aren't we supposed to be nice to everyone?" when parents disowned her sister for being a lesbian. Her statement about being nice got her thrown out and cut off.

Been part of a group of young adults who are smart, dedicated to serving, and working hard - who happen to be White, Black, Asian, Native American, Latino, Hispanic, Straight, Lesbian/Gay, Bi, Atheist, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, and Pagan - YET it never came up or caused conflict? All pulled together with mutual respect, trust, and love, working toward the same goals and purpose. They treated each other as one family, closer than family in some cases.

Actually taken time to write to your political leaders not to complain, criticize, and condemn them, but to offer possible solutions?

Participated in a peaceful protest where the focus is to help others, not just rage against people? Did you carry a sign being disrespectful, shaming, or condemning people or did your sign promote the solution you were hoping for? There's a huge difference!

Stayed up through the night talking with someone who was suicidal, encouraging them that they're not alone and you'll be there with them no matter what?

Given up your time to volunteer for a group or organization you say you stand with or believe in? Actually putting in work?

Opened your wallet and given to an actual stranger in need? or did you tell yourself, "They'd probably just blow it on booze."

Secretly put together a team of people to fill the needs of a particular person or family, making sure they had food, money, clothing, baby supplies, or whatever else they needed - WITHOUT any way for them to find out who helped them? It's not about recognition.

Consoled a friend who's caught up in domestic violence, being abused, and she's convinced if she stays, she's be murdered, but if she leaves, he'll find her and she'll be murdered?

Spoken to the young men and women who were sold into human trafficking by their own family or (supposed) boyfriends? Have you ever had to respond to someone looking you in the eye telling you they were sold to men at parties at seven or eight years old?

As you can see, there are true, real things we can all do to make a real difference in the lives of people; things that are more beneficial than burning down a city block leaving the very people you hope to help - helpless. We can do more than murdering others to "pay back" for a wrongful murder by a corrupt person. There are better solutions than complaining, criticizing, condemning, and bullying others on social media. Our nation needs many changes, but these things will never bring the changes we need.

What will YOU do to make a REAL difference in the life of someone else?

Ready for the New Year, and a New Chapter in My Life

Here we are, just 9 days until Christmas, and barely 2 weeks to 2020. What will change for me in 2020 as I begin this new chapter in my life?

1.  As of now, I haven't met my first grandbaby yet. He's coming to visit so as January 1st rolls around, I'll have met him, held him, played with him, and taken tons of photos of him since he lives almost 1800 miles away!

2.  I will be starting at a new university to finish my bachelor's degree in 1 year.

3.  At the end of 2020, we're putting our home up for sale and downsizing. Our kids are all hard-working, independent adults who support themselves and pay a little rent here. They're ready to move on and we're ready to have a smaller mortgage, taking pressure off my husband while I'm in school.

4.  Our yearly vacation won't be a cruise to the Caribbean to check out new islands this coming year. Instead we'll use our vacation time and resources to go visit our kids and grandson in another state here in the U.S. Hopefully we'll get 7 to 10 days with them while we explore where they do life.

5.  I'm transitioning from the President of the Honor Society on campus to being the new person in the National Society of Collegiate Scholars at the university.

6.  I will have more free time than ever in my college career so far, taking just 4 classes instead of 5 or 6, only being on campus 2 days a week instead of 4 or 5. Fortunately, it's just far enough from home that it's not worth the 20+ mile drive unless I have a full day of classes to attend.

7.  Although I'm a minimalist, not everyone I live with is, and I've had responsibilities that kept me from being as minimalist as I'd like. In 2020, because of the downsizing, I'll be able to truly minimize things. I'll pack boxes almost every week and label them either who they're going to or donating the items where they can do the most good. Not a lot to actually throw away since we minimalized everything not too long ago.

8.  Hopefully, with the extra time, less stress, and more knowledge, my improving health will be better than ever. Still having issues with Hashimoto's and cortisol not letting me lose weight even on a gluten-free vegan diet, so we're "experimenting" with foods that have a similar construction to gluten chemically. We'll figure this thing out. Medication keeps things stabilized, but it's proven to not be the solution.

9.  I'll be switching teaching my bible studies from Friday to Monday, which frees me up to attend lots of Women Rising events I had to miss the last two semesters. It's a great organization to foster leadership, sisterhood, and empowerment. It's NOT a feminist or man-bashing organization (that's what I thought by the name when I first heard it). It's a group that focuses on issues important to women and support.

10.  Lastly, I'm sure I'll make lots of new friends this year. I make lots of friends every semester. Maybe I'll make less since I'll only be on campus 8 days a month and won't be so involved in campus events, but that's okay too. I could use a bit more time to relax and let my health recover.

What will 2020 hold for you? What are you looking forward to? What changes do you think you'll be going through? I'd love to hear from you!

Funny Things I Noticed Recently

 This is especially funny on minivans.

 This t-shirt made me laugh out loud.

 True story!

 These would look so good on people I know...I think my Christmas shopping is half done.

For those that are late for everything, we're just "lucky" they made it on the right day.

 Funny bumper sticker.

 Another true story.

 Okay, nothing like truth in advertising.

 Actually picture that one for a minute.

 Yeah, it got me too.

 This is the most useless sign ever. See the beauty in this? The sign is needed to prevent you from banging your head on it, but if it wasn't there in the first place, you wouldn't hit your head on it. Well played.

 This has to be from somewhere in Massachusetts.

 Again, without putting the sign up, there's no need for the sign - I find this funny.

Emotional Auto-Pilot

     It's always amazing to me when someone dies, how an entire family's world comes to a dead halt, nothing else matters in that moment, yet all around them, the rest of the world just keeps spinning on and on, people go about their lives, like it's any other day.

     At times, it makes me want to scream for them to stop and realize something serious is happening. Other times, I wish I was like them, living like it's any other day, and my relative or friend is still doing fine.

     Let's talk about the mini breakdown moments...there I am, going about my usual business, and the sadness comes out of nowhere and I skip a breath, my eyes well up with tears, I feel my lip quivering, and I'm thinking, "Not now, I'm out in public" or "I'm about to get up in front of people to speak." When I let it happen, it lasts just a few seconds and it's gone. Almost as quick as a sneeze you feel building up, then all at once you sneeze and it's over. When I hold it back, however, there's a sharp pain in the top of my head. Is this normal? Before I can wonder about that, it vanishes. I resume what I was doing but wonder how long before it will happen again.

     I don't think I'm alone in this. I believe this happens to others when dealing with grieving, divorce, worry over a loved one, situations feel hopeless, etc. It's so weird in that moment. It's like my mind and body are working together but they didn't send me the memo. It's like I'm just along for the ride and my mind and my body will continue to react to the loss and I'll just keep being surprised by it.

     I know from experience that when you lose a loved one it does get easier to get through the day as time goes on, but you don't forget the love, the memories, and the last words you shared. But you know what? Today is not that day! So here I am, thinking, grieving, trying to shut it down if only for a few brief moments so my head will stop hurting. Eventually, it will get better. And that's the hope I hold onto.

My Grandmother Just Died.

We all have that day we dread when someone we love dies. Mine is today. My grandmother just died, surrounded by several family members holding her hand, peacefully, while I'm over 2600 miles away  - and I  have all these random thoughts:

I should've spent more time with her
Why didn't I take more pictures of us together.
Why am I now recalling every opportunity I had to be with her and didn't.
Did she think of me as often as I thought of her?
Did she know how much I loved her, even though miles kept us separated for years at a time?
What should I have said to her sooner?
I hope I know enough about her and her life to share those memories with others.
There were so many times I needed her and she was there.
I'm picturing how each family member is feeling, thinking, and doing at this moment.
It will be so different at family gatherings now.
Those closest are going to be devastated for a long time.
She will be missed so much by so many.
I'm thankful her family was surrounding her, filling the room, telling her they/we love her.
I'm glad she was comfortable and at peace in the end.
We had no idea she'd breathe on her own for so long, but it gave everyone that extra chance to say         they love her.
I have so many good memories with her.
I remember the time when ......
I can't believe this is happening.
Her signs of aging and struggles are over now and that makes me happy for her.
I feel guilty wanting selfishly for her to get through this - but she just isn't this time.
I feel sick.
What now?