The Scariest Thing

So what has scared me in the past? An abusive father, appendicitis and having it burst, asthma attacks, running out of gas or getting a flat tire in the middle of nowhere at night, getting bit by a baby black widow, getting bit by a Wolf Spider and having my skin go necrotic and black instantly, losing our home due to Bank of America's deceptive practices, declaring bankruptcy, being told my first pregnancy was ectopic (but God stepped in and saved Adam), having Logan at 3 years old push his 1 year old sister down a flight of hard stairs onto the cement basement floor, finding out my grandmother was in the hospital, experiencing a moment when our marriage could've ended, discovering a loved one's hidden addiction problem, and so much more. All these are scary, but you know what the scariest thing has been?

Recently I experienced my scariest moment. Logan developed a lump on his neck that had an accompanying headache. An ultrasound showed his lymph node was swollen 8 times its normal size and moved the muscle over it. The literature said only 3 things cause it: a neglected sore throat/infection, a neck injury, and cancer. Since neither of the first two were likely, it left us with the third option. Finding out your barely 18 year old "child" may have cancer is the scariest thing ever! Imagining him having to go through surgery, possibly chemo, radiation, losing his hair, health and strength...It was so overwhelming. I'm not sure he understood what a real possibility it was until after the fact. Then the unthinkable happened - we got a random call just 5 minutes after the doctor called with the ultrasound results. It was from a cancer center next to the local hospital. They said, "We just got a message we're supposed to call this number and set up a consultation with out specialist." Confused, I asked the typical questions you would ask, and was told we could NOT get the blood work and CT scan our doctor told us to get until AFTER we met with their Cancer Specialist. It took about 15 minutes to figure out they actually mis-dialed our number! Someone left them a voice mail saying only that they needed to call her back because her doctor told her to make an appointment ASAP. They called her back but pressed the wrong number while dialing. What are the odds of them reaching US, just FIVE MINUTES after hearing Logan's results? It was very scary.

Fortunately, I have a wonderful group of friends and family and acquaintances that were willing to lift him up in prayer before the blood work and CT scan. The results of that came back that it was an infection, antibiotics were the answer, it had shrunk to just 2cm instead of 4cm like it was, and that it was definitely NOT cancerous!

A happy ending, but absolutely the scariest thing!