This time, it got real personal. I had to decide if I was getting rid of things just to get rid of them, or if I'd regret removing them from my world (although in the back of my closet I wasn't missing them), or if I really should hang onto them. How to decide?
To save time I'll just cover the two most important things mentioned above. With my wedding dress, I was hoping that Tim & I would have a little celebration for our 25th Anniversary, exchange rings we picked out together (our original set is gone and we both have very cheap quick fix rings), have a few family members and closest friends join us, wear my gown & his suit, and renew our vows. Well, when I asked Tim he didn't want to do any of that, so we're doing a cruise to the Southern Caribbean in September instead. Now the only reason to hold onto my dress was "just in case". Those words are what causes hoarding stuff in the first place. Even if we have it all neatly tucked here and there and organized, it's just organized hoarding more than we need. The only other reason to hold onto the dress would be for Jordan if she ever got married. Since she's absolutely sure at 19 yrs old that she has no interest in guys (or women), the thought of kissing is gross to her and she has the next 10+ years of her life planned out and they definitely do not include dating anyone - let alone getting married, so no need to save the dress for her. I was thinking of offering it to my younger son's fiancee when they got engaged but she found the perfect dress near her house right off the bat, so no need there. My oldest son has a "type" when he dates. Usually she's between 5'10" and 6' 1" and super, model-thin. That's just his type, and it's what he looks like too, so I guess that makes sense. Anyway, no one he dates will need a dress that's a size 12/14.
What to do with it? I don't want to just drop it off at Goodwill. I've kept it in an air-tight professional box tucked into tarp-thickness plastic to keep it bright white looking like new. I found a few places locally that take donated wedding gowns and cut them up to sew gowns for newborns that either were a miscarriage a few months too soon, or were stillborn. It saves the parent(s) the heartbreak of having to shop for something expensive at the worst time in their lives. That's a good cause I can get behind. My gown could be enough material for 12 - 15 gowns for those babies. Now I have no problem getting rid of it.
As for the piece of art, it's something I can't explain. I was in the thrift store next to the tea house where I used to work and when I saw it, it stopped me in my tracks. I don't know what it was, but it hit my soul like no other piece of art ever had. Here's what it looks like.
Now anyone that knows me knows I'm so NOT into western/cowboy stuff. I made serious attempts several times and it just is not who I am. But this pencil art piece has so much depth, such realism, such emotion, it stirs something in me every time I see it. The one odd thing about it is that it reminds me of Logan. I don't know how to explain it, but especially the hands. I thought about buying it for months, started saving a little to buy it, then we had to move 200 miles away. I thought about and regretted not buying it all the time. I came back to town for a long weekend to help out at the tea house and see my friends/church family. I decided I'd go in and buy the picture if it was still there. After 7 months, if it was there, it was meant to be, right? Well I went in and it was gone. I was so sad, deeply regretting waiting. I couldn't imagine not having it. It just felt like it was supposed to be mine. (Seriously, I've never felt this way about any material thing before or since.) At the end of the weekend, my closest friend from work said she got me something for Christmas. I had gotten her something but having been without jobs for 7 months, we were broke, so all I got her were 3 books that were very important to helping me change to become a better person, complete with my highlights on the most important points. I gave her those with the explanation that I wanted to share what changed me and hoped she'd find value in them as well. She was grateful and understood where we were at, but then she gave me her gift..........she had gone into the shop after I moved figuring someday she'd see me again and give it to me. When she pulled it out of her car to hand it to me, I couldn't even take it. I started crying, not really even knowing why. I couldn't stop thanking her over and over. Obviously she knew how much it meant to me - and she's that wonderful type of person who knows people's deepest thoughts and wants. I hope my hug expressed how thankful I was.
When I look at this, I feel like I do when I see a picture of him. I love the gray mat, the gray wood frame, the details. We even had Logan duplicate this once:
Granted, he wasn't outside sitting on a knapsack by an old fence, but again, something about the hands, how low he hangs his head, the size of his arms, to me the picture looks like Logan.
Anyway, it would be hard to part with it entirely, but I know it'll never go with any of my home decor. Nothing in my world is western style. So what should I do with it? Logan is getting married in a little over 60 days. He'll have his first home. I'm gifting it to him for his family to enjoy through the years. Now I have no problem letting it go - it's going where it belongs.
So although letting go of once precious things that no longer need to be kept in closets, attics, and basements can be hard at first, if you find the right home for them, it becomes a wonderful letting go experience. You can feel good that you found it not just a home, not just a good home, but the right home.
No comments:
Post a Comment