Added Value: You're Not Perfect

   

     This post may apply more to the overachievers out there, but here goes...you aren't perfect, so stop stressing over when you can't be. This is a message I had to constantly remind myself over the last 2 weeks. I've had more than my share of stressful things pop up unexpectedly that needed immediate attention. To keep it in perspective though, my state is not on fire, we're not dying from smoky polluted air, we didn't just go through a hurricane, and we're not being bombarded with earthquakes. That limits my whereabouts to only about 5 states, it seems. In the midst of my own "storms" I have much to appreciate and be thankful for every day. And so do you.

     Where did we get this belief that we're supposed to be perfect? invincible? able to put up with everything all at once? and do it all without letting others see the real pressure we're under? Maybe it comes from childhood. I know in my case, I never felt like I could do anything right. I was kind, creative, smart, never got in trouble in school, didn't stay out late, didn't do "bad things" or hang out with the wrong crowd. Yet somehow, it never seemed good enough to please those around me. Maybe that's where the perfectionism and OCD tendencies come from.

     For many, this attitude started in the workplace. If you made a mistake, maybe you had a boss, or worse, a coworker, who publicly ridiculed or remanded you for your mistake. Fear is a huge motivator. Perhaps it's a super highly competitive job. Maybe you're worried about downsizing and you don't want to be the person they cut. Or maybe you're in sales where even if you out-do everyone else, at the first of the new month, it's quickly forgotten and you have to do it all over again just to feel like you earned your reward of being salesman of the month. Such pressure for something so intangible. And often you're made to feel like if you went to another sales company, they'd treat you worse, the work would be harder, and you'd make less money. Got to love those manipulation tactics.

     Could it be that you never felt you measured up to the success of a parent or sibling? It's hard living in someone else's shadow. I know, I've watched a few loved ones deal with that their whole lives. No matter what they do, it just doesn't seem to come together for them and the other person in the family seems to have everything fall into place so easily - with so little effort. It's not fair. But that's just how it is. Eventually they get so demotivated they quit trying. They miss out on the joy they could have in their own life by chasing after a moment in the spotlight in someone else's life.

     Let me be the first to tell you (and remind myself) that it's okay to get stressed out temporarily. Life can be overwhelming. Don't expect things to always go easy just because you decided to live simply. There's still hurricanes threatening loved ones with deadly force, fires that destroy homes and a lifetime of memories, diseases that ravage bodies and end lives prematurely for those we care most about, and sometimes, there's just too many demands made that can physically be handled at one time. It's okay. You are only one person, human, filled with emotions, don't feel guilty for expressing it once in a while. It can actually help to have a momentary release of the pressure so you can take a deep breath and start again. What if right now you feel so overwhelmed you don't know what to do? Here's a few quick things to try:

1.   Take a deep breath.
2.   Walk away from the problem, the person, the phone, the phone, the social media platform,      your desk, whatever it is.
3.  Put on either some relaxing music, or some white noise, or relaxing noise like ocean waves or rain falling - whatever makes you feel more at peace.
4.  Sit down, close your eyes, and either pray - or meditate - or sit in silence so you can rebalance yourself, get centered. 
5.  Logically think through what needs to happen today, then prioritize the list. If it can wait until a later time and today is already too busy, move that off the list. 
6.   Handle the tasks that are the quickest to get them off your list so you'll see you have less to do.
7. Stay focused on one task at a time as much as possible. Too much multitasking often ends up with doing a bad job on everything. Instead, do your best on a few. 

     Most importantly - give yourself permission to be human, to make a few mistakes, to say no to what you truly can't handle. Just do your best. It's all anyone has permission to ask - anything beyond that is on them. You are enough.