Living Simply: Black Friday Violence

   

If Thanksgiving is the holiday to celebrate being thankful for what we (already) have, what is the message(s) from Black Friday?

1.  We need more stuff and don't care how much we spend binging on shopping.
2.  What we just said we're thankful for isn't enough unless we have what advertisers tell us we need.
3.  It's unsafe these days to go out during the black friday rush.

     It's so sad, year after year, you search the news for Black Friday the weekend after and you see story after story, video after video, of violent things that happened because manic shopping and spending was more important than human lives. How many were shot? Stabbed? Injured? Every year the numbers add up to more and more. You've seen them...WalMart shopper shoots other shoppers for the last big screen TV left on the advertised sale. Person SHOT over a parking space. Shoppers argue in a mall parking lot and one gets stabbed. Crowds trample children and the elderly as they push everyone out of their way to be the "first" to get to the stuff - in a crazed state of temporary insanity. When did shopping for unnecessary things become so important they're worth killing another human being and going to jail?! When will this madness stop? I blame the advertising companies, the stores, and yes, the people must be held accountable for their actions. They CHOSE to harm others over getting more "stuff".

     If you won't decide to stop Black Friday craziness and refuse to shop, will you consider shopping online that weekend instead? Is it worth it? I know many will say that it IS, but that's only because they either got something expensive they wanted (but didn't need), or else because the death/injuries never happened to someone THEY love. Imagine your spouse, significant other, your young adult child - heading out for shopping - and they never come back, or they end up in the hospital. Would you still feel the same way?

     Today, please take a moment and pray for the families that were affected by the violence during Black Friday shopping. And yes, once again, there was a shooting, a shattered hip when a shopper was slammed into shelving by other shoppers, a stabbing, year after year after year. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Living Simply: Gifts

     With Thanksgiving tomorrow, Black Friday is upon us. As much as I am against employees having to skip a family togetherness holiday to bring in more money at everyone's expense for their bosses and corporate, I realize not everyone feels that way. Some get paid extra for working the holiday, some need more hours for Christmas shopping (that's a whole other issue), and some would volunteer to work if it wasn't mandatory - I have more of a problem with the mandatory businesses. Anyway, Realizing not everyone feels like I do, and I understand many will still be shopping for Christmas gifts Thursday night and Black Friday, may I make a few quick suggestions?

1.  Try giving experiences you can share with those you care about enough to give a gift to in the first place. There are great places to find good deals on experiences like paint night, cooking classes, spa days, dining out, skydiving, zip lining, bouncy trampoline places for kids, passes for zoos and aquariums, and so many more. Try places like Groupon or Living Social to get great, fun ideas that are dramatically reduced in price right now.


2.  Get gift certificates from local places you can share with friends, families, or coworkers you're exchanging gifts with this year. Supporting small, local businesses is a much better plan than throwing more money at faceless corporations who just want you to part with as much money as possible. Local businesses keep the money in your community and helps build relationships with local owners and customers. Support a family living in your community.

3.  Make donations to someone's favorite charity in their name and give them the tax receipt.

4.  Bake something at home and package it very nicely to give as a gift. Lots of easy holiday recipes can be found all over the internet. Some of my favorites (because they're easy) are found at All Recipes and Food Network (although these aren't always the easiest).

5.  Can you make your gift support someone in their education or work? Buy an artist colored pencils, canvases, or paintbrushes. Buy a baker new pans, a set of extracts and flavorings you've packaged nicely. Get a student an array of school supplies or dorm room necessities. Your gift will show you support what they're doing.

6.  Make up a movie night basket. Add microwave or specialty popcorn, some movie-size treats, and a movie or two you know they'd enjoy. Maybe add a few beverages. Be creative.

Hopefully you've got a few great ideas sparking. Don't overspend. Don't buy meaningless junk just because advertising told you to buy it. Don't forget what people NEED is much different from what they WANT and even more different from what ADVERTISERS WANT to sell.   

Living Simply: Everyday

     We've been talking about the holiday and its busyness for about 6 weeks. Today, let's just focus on some small things we can do to live more simply every single day - any time of year - no matter who you are or where you live. Just simplify your life - intentionally.

1.  Perspective - I know a few people in my life that worry about EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING as if it's a life-altering, major, BIG thing. Usually, it's something so small that most people wouldn't give it more than a few seconds of their time. I don't know why people do that. Maybe they're bored in their life, feeling like they aren't going anywhere and stirring up drama is the only exciting thing. Maybe it's because they've done it so long that now it's their comfort zone. They don't know how to have emotions and thoughts that are appropriate for the situation. To simplify your life, you've got to keep things in perspective. Will it matter in 5 years? Let it go. Will it alter your entire life? Let it go. Will it be something important a year from now? Let it go. In many cases, the imagined worries won't matter even 24 - 48 HOURS from now. Let it go. By the way, worrying changes NOTHING about the situation. Action or changing your thinking or getting help - that's the only way to change things.

2.  The Golden Rule - somewhere along your journey you've heard someone say, "Treat others the way you want to be treated." Do you believe in that? Or did you find that one too many times you were nice to someone only to have them treat you poorly? Did it turn you into a cynical, uncaring, nasty person? You have the CHOICE to live differently. How you treat others says everything about your character. You are defined by your actions. It's time to do the right thing and treat people decently, with respect, regardless of your differences or their flaws. Obviously if there's a bad person living a life of crime or habitually drags others into their problems they created themselves, you don't have to wrap yourself up in their drama. You have the right to walk away from bad people, but with those you decide not to walk away from or avoid - treat them right. Not in hopes of getting something back in return, people are people, we're all flawed. Do it because it's the right thing to do and that's the type of person YOU are.

3.  Be positive - no one wants to be around someone who constantly complains and talks about expecting the worst. We all have more than our share of negativity in the world. Be that breath of fresh air in the life of someone who feels like they're drowning in circumstances. Be that light in the midst of another's darkness. Stop expecting the worst. Your mind is more powerful than you know and if you constantly enhance the brain's pathways to negative thoughts, you start a self-fulfilling prophecy. On the flip side, expect things to work out, let go of the little things that don't matter, roll with the changes, and look for things to work out. Look for the silver lining.

4.  Be real - so many people I know, myself included now and then, have such a standard of perfection for themselves that they drive themselves crazy with stress trying to be absolutely perfect, 100% of the time. The truth is, NO ONE is ever perfect all the time. Once you accept that you're "good" at things, and trying your best is all you are ABLE to do, then you can stop worrying about everything you feel you aren't perfect at doing. If you can learn to get better, then do what's necessary, but stop complaining about it and stressing over it. Accept who you are, how you were made, and be okay with being your best.

5.  Be thankful, always - Only by appreciating, being grateful, and being thankful will you live a simple life that you enjoy. Without being thankful. you'll never find contentment. You'll always strive for some imagined life you'll never attain. Be thankful for those who support you and are there for you. Be thankful that you have a roof over your head. A friend of mind shares an inside joke with me that no matter how bad things seem, "at least you have a roof" - because not everybody does. Be thankful you have a place to live, food, clothes, friends, family, a job, whatever it is - be thankful.

Today I'm going to share an essay written on TheMinimalists.com about Black Friday. They wrote exactly what I'm feeling so I want to share it with you today:

Let’s Talk About Black Friday

By Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus

Here we are, in the midst of what is supposedly the most joyous time of year: the holiday season. And yet, for most of us, it’s also the most stressful time of year. At some point Santa Claus turned corporate, and the holiday season metamorphosed into the holiday shopping season.

Shopping. This one word, although birthed from great intentions, has fundamentally changed our outlook from blissful to grim, from jolly to anxious, from celebrating Christmas to surviving the holidays. It’s upsetting, and with consumption’s vicious inertia, it seems there’s no way for us to exit the speeding train of consumerism.

This Friday is the busiest shopping day of the year: Black Friday. (Boxing Day is the overseas equivalent.) Retailers prepare months in advance for this dark day—preparation that’s meant to stimulate our insatiable desire to consume: Doorbuster sales. New products. Gigantic newspaper ads. TV, radio, billboards. Sale, sale, sale! Early bird specials! One day only! Get the best deal! Act now! While supplies last. See store for details.

But as shiny as its facade may be, the pernicious aspects of Black Friday are not few. The pandemonium that takes place on this day is perhaps a broader metaphor for our culture as a whole—our consumer culture. On this day we consume gluttonously without regard for the harm we’re inflicting on ourselves. On this day greed becomes ravenous. On this day we live without real meaning, buying gifts to fill a void we can’t fill with material possessions.

Perhaps Steven said it best: Black Friday is the day we trample people for things we don’t need, the day after being thankful for what we have.

Sadly, we participate in this insanity in the name of a holiday, as if buying gifts was an ideal way to celebrate Christmas. But thankfully we have options.

Instead of embracing Black Friday, you can refuse to buy material items for people to display your love; rather, you can showcase your love, caring, and affection through daily actions—every day, not just holidays.

If you want to give gifts, why not gift an experience: a nice meal, tickets to a concert, a sunset on the beach? After all, the best, most loving gift you can give someone is your time and undivided attention. Presence is the best present.

Or, if that doesn’t work, maybe you can buy everyone on your Christmas list a giant trash can so they can throw away all the presents they received, but didn’t ask for.

Will you join us? Will you opt out of Black Friday? If not, why not?

Living Simply: How we simplified Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving can be a great time for large gatherings, but lately I find most people I talk to have a quieter holiday than we all did in our childhood. Most of it is because of consumerism & materialism. Every year it's been getting harder and harder to find a day and time for our family meal. Some work in jobs over the road, some live far away, some work retail so no evening meal together since Black Friday sales now start around 4:00 on THANKSGIVING Thursday night! And others work in food service and they're required to work holidays too.

     A few years ago we changed our traditions from a big family gathering to a quiet, candle lit dinner with just a handful of us, whoever could be there. We didn't make plans to go visit distant relatives or drop by friends' houses. We decided in all the craziness of the holidays and especially Black Friday (the one day a year I never go out), we'd have an intimate dinner instead. Candles. Quiet conversation. Plated meal. Soft background music. Relaxation. Can't you just feel the peacefulness in it?

     This year, it's even harder. Our youngest has a 2nd job and a new boyfriend where she's spending the day, our middle son is now married and spending holidays at his new place 200 miles away, and my brother is working the day shift, my oldest son the night shift. It'll mostly be just me and Mom. Even my husband's schedule has him far from home that day over the road. How did we simplify this? It'll be more like an all day buffet, but peaceful. I'll sit and eat with Mom and if I'm lucky, my oldest son before he heads out. I'll keep things looking festive for when my brother gets home. We'll maybe play some board games, or watch a movie. I'll make just a few homemade things - maybe a side dish and a dessert or something. The rest, I'm buying. Yup, I'm not cooking for so few people. I'm simplifying our life. I ordered 2- meals for 2, so it'll feed the 4 of us that'll be home. It comes fully cooked and hot, with several side dishes and rolls. We'll have sparkling cider, egg nog, and cranberry juice. But I'm not wasting the precious time I do have with my family members rushing around and slaving over a stove. I'll spend it conversing with them. Intentionally.

     What can you do to simplify your Thanksgiving? Will you make one stop instead of two? Buy the dessert to save time? Make it a quiet meal instead of a loud free for all? Or will you make it fun with just easy heat up appetizers and finger foods so everyone can watch the football game together? Whatever you decide, play by your household's rules. Simplify your life. Enjoy those around you.

Living Simply: Date Night

     If you've been finding ways to free up your schedule and save money, you may find yourself able to plan and do a date night with your spouse or significant other. But with a minimalist style of living simple, what does date night look like? Well, first off, it doesn't have to be a trip to the fast food place down the street and hitting the dollar menu. If it's planned, and intentional, and you've saved for it, then it could be more expensive experience tickets like live theater or a concert. The choice is up to you - but if you want some ideas whether just for something new to do, or to simplify date night, here's some ideas to get you started.

1.  Do you both like to cook? Find a "restaurant secret recipe" online from either your favorite restaurant (or type of restaurant) or your favorite dish (ever make Chicken Cordon Bleu or a Beef Wellington before?). Shop for the ingredients, just be mindful of what's worth spending money on before you pick your desired dish. Learn to make it at home together.

2.  When was the last time you went bowling? or threw darts? or shot pool? Do one of those activities that you used to do back in the day but don't anymore. Maybe you'll remember how much you loved it. This can apply to anything - roller or ice skating, fishing, hiking, etc.


3.  What about inviting your favorite couple over and having a 4 person game night?


4.  Is there a beautiful park, beach, walk by a lake or pond, or any place to walk within a reasonable distance? Go for a walk together. I sometimes drive a few miles away to a large, gorgeous park with a

5K trail around it.

5.  Mini Golf anyone? or Go carts?

6.  Is there some cute little cafe to grab coffee and a treat, then walk the streets around it?

7.  Take a class together - cooking, making your own beer at home, scuba diving, gardening, etc.

8.  Check out Groupon for deals in your area. Just click on the link.

9.  What about a surprise picnic? Any little spot out of the way works, even in the middle of the woods after biking or four-wheeling in.

10.  Volunteer together someplace and help brighten someone else's world.

Living Simply: Fear

I could write a big post about fear and offer advice how to get through fears, recognizing false fears, etc. but since Will Smith does such a great job here, I'll just let him explain. And by the way, what he says applies to almost  everything in life. Enjoy.

Living Simply: Minimalism

Many people who want to live a more simple life eventually stumble across the topic of Minimalism. What exactly is it? Do I have to have only a certain number of items? Am I no longer allowed to have furniture? Does that mean everything in my home has to be white walls, ceilings, and floors, along with black and white furniture? But I love my antique dishes that belonged to my great-grandmother!

You'll be happy to know that these misconceptions about minimalism are false. The truth is, it looks different for everyone. You may be a single professional living alone, one of a small group of college kids sharing a dorm, a young couple just starting out, a couple in their 30s with several children, an older couple considering retirement soon, or a widow/widower wondering how to get rid of so much accumulated stuff that's more than one person could ever possibly need. You are who you are, and you're in the stage of your life that you are. You do, however, have some choices.

1.  What is really important to me because it adds value to my life, or brings me enjoyment and happiness? Keep those things. Toss, donate, or sell the rest. If no one cares about it, stop hoarding.

2.  How many things is too many? That's up to you. If you enjoy cooking and baking for your large family, you may have more than most in your kitchen and pantry. If you hate cooking and baking and live alone, you'll have the bare minimum in your kitchen. Same goes for every other room, too.

3.  Can I keep collections? IF they bring you value or joy, you truly don't want to get rid of them in any way, shape, or form - by all means keep them. However, if you're holding onto something you and your household hasn't used in the last 6 months to a year - it already "belongs to someone else" - give it away.

4.  What's with the black and white when I do minimalism searches? It's not a rule. Many minimalists like simple, clean lines that they can aesthetically enhance with just a few, simple, colored items. Black and white go with anything and everything, so that's usually their foundation. If you'd rather have walls that are a soft gray or light tan, then go ahead. If you really like color, use it. It's bringing you joy and adding value to your home - do it.

5.  What do I do to get started - baby steps? Begin small. There's lots of suggestions on earlier posts I've put on this blog. Maybe start with one junk drawer, or one closet, or one drawer. Then keep going as you feel it makes you happier and more relieved, and it will. It's hard to explain the freedom in owning less things, but it's truly there. It's the one common factor among minimalists - they feel better after decluttering their life than they did before they did it.

It's all about you, your family, your stage of life, your values, your enjoyment. Be who you ARE.

Living Simply: Less is More

   

     In spite of the advertising companies messages that you'll be envied, respected, and just "be more" with their products, the truth is, less is more. Less stuff to acquire, update, maintain, dust, repair, and put away. Less time wasted shopping for things you don't need, then to stand in long lines for "stuff" just because you fell for an advertiser's gimmicks. Less debt. Less busyness. Less striving to keep up with others. Less accumulating and cluttering just to impress people you don't like. Less really does become MORE. More time, more savings, more freedom, more relaxing, more contentment, more intentional decisions, more importance on the right things, more added value in your life, more living a simple life. Sound good? Wondering how to get started? Here's a few quick things to ponder and try:

1.  Start. You can jump in with both feet, but you can also start slow, taking baby steps towards your desired goals, but you must actually START. You don't have to think about taking days to declutter an entire house. It can be one junk drawer, one bookcase, one desk and its drawers, one closet, one pantry, just one little area to tackle with give you the motivation you need for the next little area next time.

2.  Not sure if you should keep or toss something? Don't stress over it. Put it in a box out of sight for 30 days. If you didn't need it, or even miss it, then it's okay to sell it, donate it, or throw it out.

3.  Get a handle on your emotions. We all have things that are sentimental to us for different reasons. Living simply, or becoming more minimalist has nothing to do with a number of items you keep, nor following any set rules. Your life is only determined by you. I realized many items I held onto just didn't need a place in my home anymore, or could bring someone else more joy than it brought me, so I let it go. A few things I really did want to keep, so I did. You can too. Just don't hold onto things as a way to remember others - the memories are in YOU, in YOUR MIND, not in a material thing.

4.  Are you keeping multiples of things? Do you have 2 CD or DVD players yet you only listen to digital music or download movies these days? Do you have duplicates of books, or photos, or kitchen utensils? Pick one to keep, or none if it no longer adds value to your life, or if it's outdated technology. Could something else I own do the same job?

5.  THROW AWAY THOSE MISMATCHED SOCKS SINCE THE OTHER'S BEEN MISSING FOR YEARS NOW!

6.  Toss out all those condiment packets from the local fast-food place.

7.  Donate books and magazines you'll never read again - a library, a school, an elderly facility, a hospital, an office with a waiting room, all are good places that could use them.

8.  Sell, donate, or toss old things you don't use anymore like perfume, jewelry, shoes, etc.

9.  Minimize your wardrobe by removing anything you haven't worn in the last 90 days (with the exception of seasonal things, like winter parkas in the summer - put those in storage out of your closet). Turn all your hangers backwards, then as you wash and rehang items, turn them around the right way. Anything at the end of 30, 60, or 90 days (your choice), you know you haven't worn it, aren't likely to wear it anytime soon, so get rid of it so you only keep what you enjoy wearing.

10.  Toss expired things - old condiments in the fridge, old makeup that you know is old, sour smelling old perfume, coupons, medications (follow proper disposal guidelines, some you can toss, but others you should bring to a pharmacy to dispose of so it doesn't end up in the wrong hands), stuff living in your freezer for too long - now covered in freezer burn and "snow", oils or nuts that have gone rancid, hard as a rock brown sugar, etc.

Living Simply: Relaxing

     

     After several days with too many things on my plate, we've now got a step by step game plan for the long-term projects, some action steps to do over the next few weeks for mid-term projects, and only a handful of things in the next week or so for immediate projects. Today, I find myself with a few hours of time for RELAXING. 

     What will I decide to intentionally do with that time that will add value to my life? Well, tonight I have plans to go out for a "date night" with my husband of 25 years. We'll have dinner at our favorite Italian pizza place while a friend of ours plays live music there. It'll be great to have some quiet time enjoying just being together - the two of us - in a crowd that feels like family. This afternoon, I've spent too many hours studying for a test on Monday, so I need to clear my head. I need a mindless activity. I'm not much into movies or TV, but I did go see Thor Ragnarok with my hubby and brother last night. By the way, it was very good, worth seeing. What mindless thing will I choose this afternoon?

     When I do something, I usually am multitasking, learning something, or challenging myself with some strategy game through Facebook. I think I'll choose a strategy game. If my mind is engaged I can let go of all the boring facts and figures I've been studying. What will YOU do when you get time for relaxing? Here's a few options:

• Go for a walk around your neighborhood or a favorite park or city block, get fresh air.
• Cook or bake something from scratch.
• Take a well-deserved nap.
• Make some do it yourself project or early holiday gifts for loved ones.
• Get some exercise, do some yoga, or just take some time out for meditating.
• Catch a movie or get caught up on a favorite tv show.
• Take 15 minutes and declutter a room with a trash bag and a donation box nearby.
• Call a friend or relative who's probably missing you.
• Take a relaxing bath with candles, music, the works.
• Go out to eat with someone (or get coffee) you've been meaning to catch up with.
• Play a board or video game with the kids, family, roommates, or some friends.
• Read a book you've been wanting to get into lately.
• Play an instrument if that's your thing - or sing - or dance to your favorite tunes.

     There's so many things to do. Once you decide how you most want to relax, do it, without guilt. Take some time to enjoy life. What's the point of simplifying your life unless you want the chance to do things you enjoy and value? Have a great weekend.

Living Simply: Persistence

     Persistence - what does it mean? It means a firm continuance of a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition. Feel like the odds are stacked against you? Feel like you're banging your head against the wall? Feel like even when you do everything right, someone or something else makes it all get derailed, causing them no stress but makes your life infinitely more difficult? I've been there...and I'm there right now. I write as something to add value to your life, and because I need to think, see, and read this for my own life right now too. We're in this together, and no matter where we come from, we're all the same deep down.

     I have many plates spinning right now. It's not my intentional plan, but there are a few things that must happen simultaneously right now, or bad things will happen later on - so although it's not AS simple as I'd like, I do know that it's very temporary. In fact, in just a few days, many of the things that have me frustrated will be moving forward, in one direction or another, and life will be intentionally more simple once again. But for the next 24 hours, many things need my intention that cannot be delegated, nor ignored.

     So how do we get through situations like this? We feel frustrated, our head is racing, emotions are right on the edge of a flair up. I know what I'm choosing right now as I'm writing this to you. I choose to do the following:

1.  Stop. Breathe. Long exhale. Repeat a few more times. Okay, ready for step 2.

2.  Remove the emotion of the situation. It doesn't help anyone or anything progress forward anyway. Drop the frustration. Clear your mind. Continue breathing slowly and intentionally.

3.  Get re-centered. Okay. Here's how we're going to approach this...

4.  Logic. It's the only thing that can actually make a positive difference anyway. Logically, I know this situation is temporary. Logically I know I can't MAKE people do their jobs right - so since it's beyond my control to do that - my ONLY option is to let it go. Now, let's work on solutions that may help.

5. Here's where persistence comes in. Tomorrow I will call those with authority to make some positive changes, CALMLY explain the situations necessary, and find out either a new plan of action or have new insight into how things are likely to unfold going forward. I will be persistent as I tackle each problem on the list, working down a numbered, prioritized list. I will logically figure out what things I need in front of me to make those calls. I will choose to proceed without emotions getting all worked up.

6.  If all else fails, I will continue being persistent by having a Plan B in place to intentionally move the ball forward in each situation.

     Will I get all the things done to my satisfaction in one day? No. But I logically accept that so I'm not thrust into an emotional state when things don't go perfectly. Will I feel like something important came of my calls? Yes, because I know I will at least have something to do, somewhere to go, or someone to speak to so things move forward. By the end of tomorrow, this temporary situation will be handled to the best of my ability. I will know I did my part - persistently pursuing a more favorable outcome than where things are at right now. I will have intentionally chosen how to handle obstacles in my life, and be able to resume a more simple life moving forward.

     And you will too. Hang in there. Don't give up. Don't let a temporary situation cause you to lose focus of what's important to you. You CAN handle your "stuff" too. Good luck. May you be successful in all you decide to do.

Living Simply: Listening

    '

     Listening is a lost art. People today are so busy trying to make themselves and their opinions heard, often resorting to irrational, self-centered, and even violent ways of doing it. What the world really needs is for people to become better at listening - no, I mean REALLY listening. When was the last time you were going through a rough time and truly felt like someone listened, showed empathy, and understood what you were trying to say? Without trying to fix the problem? Without getting into the one-upping game saying things like, "Oh yeah, well let me tell you how bad I have it"? When did you really feel like you could let it all out, without judgement, without looking for advice, and the other person was simply "there for you"? It's truly is a lost art.

     

     We live in a hurting world. People need each other now more than ever, yet the divisiveness seems to grow by leaps and bounds as time goes on. People find a million reasons to divide themselves from others into their own "group", but in the end, we're all the same, we're all people, ones who hurt, need to feel important now and then, want to know someone cares about them. Part of living an intentional life involves the responsibility of helping others. It's time those of us who are not self-centered to stand up, and be there for others who need us. Maybe it's the coworker, a neighbor, a friend, a relative, a child, mom, dad, spouse, significant other, maybe it's the stranger put across your path today because you're the only one who "sees" them and is willing to be there today.

     We spoke about selfishness on Sunday. Now it's time to act out that self-less-ness. Take a minute, look around, who needs you? More often than not, helping others takes your mind off your own problems, at least for a while, and can turn someone else's day completely around. Today, you be the difference in your world.

Living Simply: Letting Go

     Some people have a hard time letting go of stuff. This makes it hard to live a simple life when you fill your space, mind, and lifestyle with unwanted clutter than no longer serves a purpose nor brings you joy.

     Sometimes hanging on to things is because of an insecurity. Maybe you grew up poor so you're afraid to let go of things "just in case". Those 3 words have justified hoarding in the minds of thousands of people and kept them from happiness. Maybe the number of items one has makes them (falsely) feel like they have or even are more than they truly feel. Don't let your security be determined by old junk and trinkets. You're worth more than that.

     Sometimes people hang onto stuff for decades because the items were gifts. I'll try to be gentle here, but the truth is, most people forget what they bought you last year, let alone 10, 20 or 30 years ago! I've seen people hang onto things because others gave them something they didn't even really like, "but it was a gift". The gift givers are either 3000 miles away on the other side of the country, or they've passed on years ago. If it doesn't serve a purpose or bring you joy - give it away. It's not doing you any good sitting in the garage, a basement, or an attic, or even in a hall or bedroom closet. You should be surrounding yourself with things you love and want to see displayed every day. When it ceases to draw your attention, let it go.

     What about heirlooms? This one is tougher, I know, but the rule is the same. Don't hold onto something just because it's old. If you love it - keep it, no guilt, and enjoy it. If you only keep it because it belonged to someone in your family, see if there's someone else in the family that WOULD enjoy it. If no one wants it, and it's in some storage space, maybe it's time to sell it, donate it, or throw it out. Something's value is only what others are willing to pay to buy it. If no one wants it, let it go.

     But all those years of photographs! This one's easy. You can either scan them yourself to a computer, or find a service that does that for you (there's many out there nowadays if you do an internet search). Then you can take all those digital files and save them to one small thumb/flash drive. If you want to store them, now they take up almost no room at all. If you do want them to be seen, buy a digital photo frame that you can just plug the external drive into and it rotates the photos you've got loaded onto it.

     Find your freedom in owning less things. Simplify your life by removing unwanted clutter. Live more intentionally by surrounding yourself with things that bring you joy or serve your purposes. You deserve it.

Living Simply: Selfishness

   

     Today I was talking with a friend and was absolutely appalled. She's a flight attendant on a major airline and recently something terrible happened on a flight from Arizona to Hawaii. A passenger suddenly died on the plane! The passenger collapsed and my friend was trying to administer CPR on her like she was trained to do. A passenger sitting in the seat next to the lifeless body and my friend (who was doing all she could to restart the heart) had the nerve to tap my friend on the shoulder and say arrogantly, "Excuse me, but does this mean we won't have any beverage service on this flight?!" What the hell?! Are you freaking kidding me?! How can you be SOOOOOO self-absorbed! How can you have the nerve to tap someone on the shoulder while they're administering CPR?!

     When they landed, they couldn't let people off because the body was in the aisle. I've never experienced that but I think it would freak me out a little riding a long flight next to a dead body, but these things happen. The body couldn't be moved until the coroner and officials boarded and did their jobs.  Most of the people on board were going on vacation - a vacation many people will NEVER be fortunate enough to take - to spend a week or two surrounded by luxury, yet all they could do was complain about how the delay inconvenienced them! Again, how the hell can you be SOOOO self-centered?! A person died, their life is over, I don't know if they were traveling alone or not, but most likely not. What about the person with them? Imagine the surprise to their family? Their friends? Their neighbors? Everyone who didn't get a chance to say goodbye? What kind of world do those others on board live that someone's death is an inconvenience to THEM? How do they possibly live in a world full of disappointments and think their life should be trouble free, and others around them should do everything they can to rearrange the universe to see to it THEY aren't inconvenienced?

     Are you as shocked as I am? I sincerely hope so. I hope my readers are people who not only are planning to live more simple, intentional, minimalist life styles, but also who have a sense of community, giving back, empathy, caring, and helping those in need. What would you have done if you were on board?

     Can we take a minute to recenter and focus on how to be UNselfish and selfLESS when it comes to others? I believe the roots of being a better person come from a heart full of appreciation, thankfulness, and gratitude. If you appreciate what you have - and those around you, if you are thankful for the little things, not just the big things, if you're grateful for your life, your friends, family, significant other, your blessings - how can you be a selfish person, right? Today, and all this week, would you please try to find 5 things every day to be thankful for - or 5 ways to be unselfish when dealing with others? This world is falling apart at the seams. It needs a major shift in people to turn things around. Make this week count, not just for you, but for others as well.

Living Simply: Globally

   

Today I'm going to try to add value by listing links to Minimalist articles and sites from around the world. Seeing how other countries are working towards a common goal of simplify their life and living intentionally can spark great ideas, conversations, and paths to follow. Enjoy!

1.  Japan

2.  Poland

3.  Ukraine

4.  Canada

5.  Portugal

6.  France

7.  The Philippines

Living Simply: Tips to simplify

   

     Now that we're not in the middle of a daily challenge, I'll be using this blog for things that relate to Minimalism and Living Simply and intentionally that will hopefully add value to your life. That gives us quite a bit of freedom to cover many topics. If there's a particular question you have or topic you'd like covered - or especially if you have any tips that would be helpful to our other readers - please leave a comment at the bottom of the blog.

     So, let's talk about things I do to simplify my life and maybe something I say will spark ideas for you, which will add value to your life:

1.  Every morning when I get up I intentionally make my bed, but I only use a top sheet and a comforter. I know that's not possible if you live where it's really cold in the winter, but the reason I do it is to simplify. If I can grab the bottom of both the sheet and the comforter at once, I can shake them out once and my bed is 90% already made. All I have to do is straighten it and fix the top part. Why do I bother? Because the bed is the largest thing in the room. It's also one of the only things in the room besides 2 short dressers, 2 nightstands, 1 desk for blogging/paying bills/doing homework, and the desk chair - (and my husband's amp behind the closet door but it's never seen), that's all I have in my room. If I make up the bed, it's like the whole room looks "clean". 30 seconds to make an entire room look clean. Worth it.

2.  I put away whatever dishes were washed last night, whether it's in the sink strainer or the dishwasher. Why? Because then the day starts with cabinets and silverware drawers full. There's nothing more frustrating than rushing to make breakfast before you have to leave and you're out of dishes, or forks, or coffee mugs. There's sometimes 8 of us here at one time so we have a set of 8 dishes and silverware. We keep about 12 mugs/glasses for when we have company too. I just feel better in the morning walking into a clean kitchen. A messy kitchen makes me feel like I'm starting the day already behind. If anything has been left on counters by others after I went to bed the night before, those get quickly taken care of too. Who wants to come home to a messy kitchen either?

3.  I put away my bathroom things as I use them. Sure we keep out hand soap, toothpaste and toothbrushes, a book, my day/night lotion, and daily vitamins where I'll see them and remember to use them - but everything else gets put away as I use it. You won't find hairbrushes, hair dryers, towels, makeup, perfumes, or things like that on my bathroom counter. I like walking into a clean slate, not a bunch of stuff I don't have time to put away later.

4.  I sort the mail every day as soon as I pick it up (either at the mailbox or off the table if someone already brought it in). Immediately I toss out all the junk mail. If anything belongs to others I make a pile on the table end they walk by every day and they're good at looking for it and removing it quickly. Mine goes in the same places on my desk/dresser depending on if it's a bill to be paid or something to be filed or read. No piles waiting for me on a day off.

5.  I keep my pantry "loosely" sorted so I'm not buying the same things I already have and constantly running out of things because we thought we had one. I can be pretty OCD in my pantry but I realize I live with other people, so I intentionally decided to "get over it". Basically, as long as the pasta, canned tomatoes, tomato paste, sauces and breadcrumbs are together, then the soups and broths are together, canned vegetables together, the condiments are together, the rice, quinoa and grains are together, and miscellaneous stuff is together, I can determine in under 5 seconds if we have something or not. HUGE time and money saver. Simplify.

     These are just a few ideas. If you have some other quick things you do that make your life easier, let us know. We'd love to hear what you have to add!

Living Simply - Happy November!

     In addition to be my sister's birthday today, I love November 1st because that's when it officially feels like fall around here. Lots of pumpkins, red, yellow and orange everywhere (not a huge fan of yellow and orange but for a few weeks a year it's okay), pumpkin spice coffees and desserts, cooler days, cozy nights, all gearing up for a time of togetherness, peace, then a new start.

How will this year be different for us? The choices we make will be personal, meaningful, and intentional...and oh yeah, more SIMPLE. We're not going overboard with extravagant menus, crazy busy plans, over the top decorations, and definitely not going into lots of debt to buy meaningless material stuff just because it's "expected" by our culture to overdo it with gifts. It will be a time where we plan a Thanksgiving meal when it's most convenient for our family. With so many people having to work Thanksgiving morning/night, Black Friday, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Year's Eve - we'll choose our dinners, gatherings, and gift exchanges based on what suits us best. Honestly, if my whole family can't gather to eat on a Thursday but can on a Wednesday evening, we'll do that!

How will gifts be different? First of all, there will be less of them, less expectations, less junky little things that end up stuffed in a closet or quickly thrown out/given away. What we choose will be meaningful to the person we give it to, and we're trying to think of creative experiences instead of material goods. If you want ideas on that, skim through the October daily challenges on here about gifts, lots of ideas for tickets, memberships, events, classes, etc.

What are we adding that's a new tradition? Well, for one, I have a new daughter-in-law joining us at Christmas. My son has a new (in-law) family that will want him there for Thanksgiving. My daughter has a boyfriend who will want her with them for at least part of both holidays - like I said, we'll do ours whatever day works best for us so there's no pressure for them to "choose" where to go or not.

We have a beach themed Christmas and our Thanksgiving is usually a quiet, candlelight dinner, so I'm looking forward to that. We may change it up a bit with what we eat, when we do it, or foregoing the typical pumpkin and pecan pie for dessert and trying something else that's new to us. Maybe we'll go out instead?

What I do know is that this year will be a lot more simple. I am determined to Live Simply, to the best of my ability, for the rest of my life. I'm just getting started, so I'll make mistakes along the way, and so will you, it takes a while to get the hang of a new lifestyle, but that's okay - baby steps along the way. We'll all get there someday. For now, just BE in the moment, live a more intentional, simple life, and remember to breathe. Have a great day today.

Living Simply October Challenge: Day 31 Global Celebrations

     Today is the last day of our October daily challenges to Live Simply as you get through the holiday season. I hope it's been helpful and has added value to your life in some way. As I promised yesterday, today I'll share ideas to add new traditions to your holiday season by focusing on OTHER holidays that are celebrated globally at this time of year. Maybe one will be something you'll want to include. If one interests you, you can simply Google the holiday and find out lots of ways to celebrate it through spirit, decorating, foods, and more.

1.  Hanukkah - an 8 day celebration for the Jewish people around the world. It's also known as the Festival of Lights. It celebrates the re-dedication of the Second Temple in 165 B.C. The ruler had outlawed Judaism and confiscated their temple. The Jewish people revolted and retook the temple, but it required cleansing from being defiled. The candle holder, known as the Menorah, needed to burn uninterrupted for 8 days & nights, but they only had enough oil for one. Miraculously, it burned for all 8 days - exactly. And by then they had enough oil to replenish it.

2.  Kwanzaa - this holiday is less religious and more about reconnecting African with their culture. It's celebrated 12/26 through 1/1. The celebrated principles are unity, self-determination, collective work & responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity, and faith.

3.  Omisoka - Japanese New Year celebrated on 12/31. For the new year, the Japanese cleanse their homes and remove clutter from top to bottom. They have a giant feast with friends and traditional Japanese foods. They have a televised, nation-wide talent competition that evening. At midnight, they visit Shinto shrines. Temples ring a large cast iron bell at midnight to signify the 108 earthly wants that create suffering.

4.  Hogmanay - this is the Scottish new year. People gather together on New Year's Eve for food, storytelling, drinking, and gift-giving. They enjoy bonfires and fireworks. It's traditional to welcome the new year by standing in a circle and singing, "Auld Lang Syne", roughly translated to mean, "for old times' sake". You probably already have heard it in old movies like It's a Wonderful Life. They also sometimes celebrate "first footing" where they visit other people's homes bearing gifts.

5.  Festivus - a fictional holiday made up during an episode of Seinfeld back in 1997, then called, "A festivus for the rest of us". Instead of a tree, there's an undecorated aluminum pole to contrast typical Christmas consumerism and materialism. There's an Airing of Grievances where you can tell those around you how they've disappointed you throughout this last year. Next is a Festivus Dinner - if copying what was shown in the episode, it looks like slices of meatloaf on a bed of lettuce for everyone, and side dishes of peas, and mashed potatoes. After dinner there's Feats of Strength, where the head of the household must be pinned (in a wrestling manner). Writer of that episode, Dan O'Keefe even wrote a book about it where he elaborates to make it a full-blown holiday, expands the menu, etc.

Have fun with these. See the meaning behind some of them, the humor in others. Have a great season!

Living Simply October Challenge: Day 30 New Traditions

   
     This year, why not add a NEW tradition to your holidays? Do something fun, or something meaningful, something you borrowed from another culture, or something from the culture of your ancestors. Start a new tradition - if you like it, keep it. If you don't...try a different one next time!  Here's some ideas for Christmas from around the world, and tomorrow we'll explore OTHER holidays around the world:

1.  Armenia - They celebrate "The Epiphany" on January 6th. It signifies the day Jesus was revealed to be God's son. They also celebrate his baptism on this day. Some foods eaten then are fish, rice, dried fruit and nuts. Santa comes on New Year's Eve so the 6th remains a holy religious holiday.

2.  Brazil - Nativity scenes are set up in homes all through December. They attend a midnight mass on Christmas Eve, then an afternoon service the next day. There's public tree-shaped displays of lights and fireworks. Since it's hot at Christmas in Brazil, people tend to go to the beach that day. Foods include pork, salads, dried fruits, and rice with raisins. The meal is usually around 10 pm Christmas Eve, then they exchange gifts, and go to church.

3.  Egypt - They celebrate January 6th (the Coptic Orthodox church). The month before, they sing songs of praise on Saturday nights before church services.  They eat a vegan diet for 43 days before Advent Christmas on Dec. 25th  (starting Nov. 25th). They celebrate a midnight service then go to eat a big family (or friends) meal together. They eat meat, eggs, butter, all the things they fasted from.

4.  Jamaica - Christmas carols are played on the radio in December, and Christmas Eve is also called "Grand Market" where you buy treats, clothes for the occasion, and toys. The meal is typically one of fresh fruits, sorrel and rum punch, and meats. Jamaican red wine and fruit cake is an island tradition, it's soaked in rum and wine for MONTHS before Christmas!

5.  Poland - Christmas Advent season is a time of peace. People avoid excess of anything during this time. They even often give up their favorite food or drinking or partying during this time. Homes are thoroughly cleaned, including windows and rugs. On Christmas Eve there is fasting until the first star can be seen in the evening sky. On the table are 12 dishes representing good luck for the next 12 months. There is no meat on the Christmas Day meal. Foods include beet soup, dumplings with mushrooms, sometimes after sunset, fish can be eaten. They pass around the table a wafer with Mary, Joseph and Jesus' picture on it, everyone breaks off a piece and eats it. Next they have straw on the floor or under the tablecloth to remind them Jesus was born in a manger. After dinner, carols are sung and only then are presents allowed to be open.

There are lots of great traditions you can try from around the world - whether you jump all in or just borrow parts about it you like - try something new. Make it intentional, full of meaning for YOU.

Going to be a late post

Hello Everyone,
Just wanted to let you know today's post will be late. I'm headed out the door in a minute for the next 10 hours. Won't be able to post until about 7pm Pacific Time - just wanted you to know I didn't forget. I'll try to work on it here and there throughout the day so it's ready to go quickly tonight.
Lisa