Living Simply challenge Day 22: Handling Stress

     Today is one of those days I'm not handling stress well. I'm not living a simplified life. I have quite a bit happening in the next 30 days - I just started college to pursue a new career when most people my age are figuring out how to retire soon. Along with that comes a full-time student workload, over 100 pages of reading, homework, quizzes, note taking, and class participation every week. I'm starting up a new small group of women where I facilitate a particular book study. I'm starting in a new bible study myself. I'm having no luck finding a dress to wear to my son's wedding in about a month - no one has my size, and if they do, it's either the same blue as the wedding party, all black, or some horrific ugly print (think over busy geometric designs or bright orange flower patterns). I'm moving my mother and brother here in about 21 days. I have to leave for our 25th anniversary trip we planned almost a year ago before we had any idea there'd by college classes, a wedding, and family moving in that same month! Add to that the frustration knowing one of your adult kids are hurting, trying to deal with an insurance company with no answers about their own plans, a day trip in a few days that involves 6 hours of driving for a 2 hour bridal shower that I thought I had 2 weeks to plan for but the date had to change unexpectedly, did I forget anything?
On top of that, there's the same issues everyone deals with through their own friends and family: people dealing with cancer, losing a spouse, dementia, divorces, deaths, job loss, custody battles, addictions, abuse, out of control kids, and more. So what can you do when your life gets overwhelming? How can you maintain a simple lifestyle amidst the chaos?

INTENTIONALITY

     You've GOT to be INTENTIONAL. What kinds of intentional things can you do? Here's a quick list of things you can try. Many of which I'm going to do as soon as I'm done this post - but I wanted the emotion of it all to be fresh as I write to you.

1.  Stop. Just stop. Stop pacing. Stop driving (pull over somewhere safe, not just stop on the road). Stop thinking of all that's going wrong. Just stop.

2.  Breathe. Take a large, slow, inhaling breath in through your nose. Hold it for a second or two. Then release it slowly out through your mouth. Repeat 5 to 10 times, or until you know you've settled down a bit so you can think.

3.  Think. But think deliberately. Depending on circumstances, what's going on will be very different for you. If it's a health/illness concern, think through some options or preparations. If it's about a job loss, what are your strengths and who could use them? Who's hiring? Can whatever caused the loss or threaten of a loss be fixed before it's permanent? Think through it. If you're fortunate that you're just having a day where you're overwhelmed but nothing's going to cause lifelong devastation, then this is really important. You need to intentionally realize that in 5 years, none of this will matter. In about a month or so, none of this will matter - it'll all be behind you. Will it matter in a week? How about 5 minutes from now. Let go of the littlest frustrations first - like the guy that just cut you off in traffic, or the fact that the store was out of what you needed. Just let go of the thoughts that fan your anger into stress that can hurt you.

4.  Plan. What can you plan to do about your situation(s)? What is within your ability to act or do? What is NOT within your ability or choice? Let that go! I've always taught my kids, "If you can't fix it or change it, move on." What are some proactive things you can do to ease the situation? Can you put together some plans? Maybe even just a loose plan to fix whatever's going on?

5.  De-stress! Whether it's immediately or if it's something you have to schedule into your day or week (or month), intentionally schedule some time to de-stress. It may be to go to the gym or a yoga class. It may be a bubble bath with soft music, candles, and a good book. It could be to just lock your office door, sit on the floor, take your shoes off, and just center yourself. Stretch your neck and shoulder muscles. Take deep breaths. Meditate on or pray about finding a moment of peace in the midst of the storm. Can you go for a walk, hike, run, or bike ride? Can you go to bed early to get some much needed extra rest? Be intentional about taking your stress level down a few notches.

6. Add value. Do things that bring value to your life. What do you enjoy? Is it a nice glass of wine sipped slowly? Do you like to listen to soft jazz to unwind? Is it having coffee with your best friend? Taking the dog for a walk? Playing with your kids without stressing them out? Relaxing with your partner watching a movie together? Maybe you have a hobby? Do you relax by playing an instrument? Gardening time? What about relaxing by the pool? or a bonfire? Do you like to write? Whatever adds value, do it. Bring in those things to your world that bring you joy and contentment.

     At the end of all this, hopefully you're stress will have given way to more peace and less anxiety. Even if the problems you're facing are life-changing, you can learn to live through them by handling stress in the moment in a more intentional, positive way. It's going to be okay eventually.