Prioritizing where my time SHOULD be going.

I was thinking yesterday, if I actually did all the things I want to do and think are important, I'd be so productive - but, WHY do I do so many things? In spite of them all, I still have days I feel are very boring, don't feel like I get much done, and yet thinking of all I should be doing, I can even get overwhelmed before I start. I sat in traffic the other day asking myself, how do people just go through life NOT blogging, scrapbooking, reading books, they have no kids, etc. They just go to work, spend evenings eating out with friends, and sleep on weekends? How do you not feel guilty? I feel like everything in the world is up to me to do, fix, take care of, and when I'm not doing all that - it seems like so much falls apart & my whole family is unhappy. Maybe there's a balance?

Let's look at the top 10 things I should be doing with my time:
- 1. Building my faith - if I spent more time in prayer, then I believe things would go smoother, the problems would seem smaller, and my joy would sustain me through bumps in the road.
- 2. Homeschooling - I need to be clearer on what the kids need to accomplish throughout the week. I don't need them to do quantities of work. I need them to learn and focus on quality of work.
- 3. The Home - I have things I do every day, the dishes, wiping down counters, taking trash out, etc., but I need to take time for the sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, laundry, and getting all those missed places more often.
- 4. My Health - I need to be sure to MAKE time for Zumba, be extra careful with what I put into my body. I believe everything I eat is either going to improve my health, or slowly poison me. I don't always make the right decisions, and when I don't, I lose energy and focus. This needs to become more important.
- 5. Couponing - If I don't do this, our grocery bill for the week can double or even triple. I pay more than I need to from our precious little resources, so this is important.
- 6. Growing my business - I've realized that it only takes about 20 people to make more money than I would if I could work 3 to 4 days a week at a job, plus I could keep my schedule my own, never having to give up Sunday church and Tuesday Bible study.
- 7. Kids - Not that they're actually all the way down to #7 on the list, but they need time & attention, too. Adam's pretty much on his own while living here. He eats, sleeps, works, and goes out without any thought to what the rest of the family is doing - typical 18 year old guy. Logan is in need of a haircut, trying to start a part-time job, about to start Drama class where he'll be in two plays at once, and needs a social circle to stay thriving. Jordan, my loner. She wants to make new friends, and we've got plans for that, but in the meantime, she needs me to be there to talk to, watch movies with her, take her shopping when she needs things, and to help her really make a lot of progress in school this year.
- 8. Life Groups - I've been asked to help facilitate a Women's evening Life Group at our church. It's the Women's ministries that I feel called to, so I don't want to say no to this opportunity. It'll help me connect with more people at church, and if I need help, there's 2 other women there to help out.
- 9. Homeschool Group - I know when most homeschool Moms get to their 5th or 6th year, they don't think they need a group anymore. They've gotten their questions answered, figured out a system that works, and found ways for their kids to make friends. The problem is, a lot of groups are left with just the new families. Who are they supposed to ask the tough questions to? Who can offer workable solutions to the problems they come up against? Who can give them insight into certain curriculums? And who has experiences to help lead field trips, classes, and activities? Only the more experienced Moms can do that, so I feel the need to stay in a group to help other women (another facet of Women's ministries?) and to help Jordan find some new friends with common ground.
- 10. Wife & Homemaker - There's no job description for this. It just means that I've got everything under control, yet under God's control. The bills get paid, the checkbook gets balanced, the month of appointments and important events are scheduled, everything my husband needs is handled, and things around the house run smoothly - hopefully with a sense of comfort, safety, and love being felt inside our home.

So - what else do I WANT to add to my time? More sleep, field trips to exciting places, travel, journaling, blogging, scrapbooking, photography, making my own household cleaners & remedies, more time to take care of my hair (needs some attention), time to relax & watch more than a movie a month, so many books to be read, reading dozens of pages a week to be better prepared to teach, should I find part-time work? resolve health issues, make more phone calls to friends & relatives on the weekends, make friends & spend time with them in each other's home, I love to cook, wish I had more time for that, and the list is endless...

This month, I'm going to really make time to prioritize, schedule, and think through how to get in all that's really important. Then I'll figure out how to drop the other less important wants without all the guilt. It'll be a month where maybe I won't get quite so much done as usual, yet I think the end result will be a very focused, productive, last third of the year. Time to drop the time-wasters and kill any semblance of laziness. I want to do better at what's important, and not just be busy with a bunch of things that are of less importance.

What things need more of your attention? What things need less because they really aren't important and just waste time? What could you really get done if you could focus in on just a few really important things? I'd love to hear your feedback.

Starting School in 2 Days!

This has been a great summer. We moved to the Valley in spring, so this summer, we were able to take advantage of lots of swimming, dollar theater movies, feeding ducks at the park, going for ice cream, the kids' sleepovers, and great deals when shopping for necessities. We even found a great futon like brand new for just $39.99, and it retails for at least $300. But summer is over for us and the new school year is about to begin. Here's a few bullet points of my thoughts today:

- I took the summer mostly "off", so I hope I'm ready to start and didn't forget to do stuff.
- It'll be different not having 3 to teach now that Adam's graduated. It'll be easier this year.
- We all want to incorporate our faith into the school year more than in the past.
- We've got lots of great field trips and events here in the Valley to enhance the school year.
- I love new beginnings!
- It's so nice to have access to so many of the required books at these libraries!
- I hope the new homeschool group helps us all make new friends.
- I can't wait to see Logan in his first play in years, Sherlock Holmes!
- Logan in a youth band & Jordan taking sewing - they'll have fun this year.
- It'll be nice to have less distractions this year since we're in our own house, I don't have to work outside the home, Adam works, and Tim's on the road. We can really focus on Jordan and get her up to speed this year.

I have high hopes for this year to be one of great progress. I can't wait to start. We all do better when we're following a regular schedule. Time to really start our new life back here in the Valley.

Plateaus

I would bet when you hear the word "plateaus" it conjures up bad, frustrating images for most of us. I'm ready to jump into a new school year, a new Women's Life Group, a new bible study, a new homeschool group, and a re-launch of my business, now that we've relocated. I'd like nothing more than to jump into all of these without the struggle of the plateau.

In our school year, I want to help Jordan transition into high school and Logan to be prepared for college in 2 years (sooner if we do dual enrollment). Our last few years have been okay, but nothing great. Between not having the money or local resources (poor library choices) to enhance their schooling, we learned what we should have, but it was very boring. Almost as if we simply did public school at home. We missed out on the fun things we normally would add to enhance the learning experience. I hope to break through that plateau this year with field trips, DVDs, websites (now that our internet speed is reasonable again), etc.

In about a month or so, our church will be launching new Life Groups, or small groups, as some are called. My calling is in Women's Ministries, and I've been asked to facilitate a group with two friends of mine. It'll be the first life group focus the church has had in a while, and there's so many new faces since I moved away two years ago, that I pray to break through a plateau there too. I want to teach something new, exciting, relevant, and something to produce growth in the women I'm entrusted with. I pray for guidance to do the study based on what they need - not what I'm familiar with.

We have a new bible study coming up for Tues. mornings, but I'm just a participant there - but I'll be teaching both Logan & Jordan a new bible study (separately). They've grown up around the Bible's teachings, so I want to break through a plateau with them on that as well. I want to be able to deliver to them new perspectives, new applications of what they learn as they enter young adulthood.

I joined a brand new homeschool group for this year. Not that I'm new to a group - but that the group itself is just starting out. I believe there's only 8 families so far, so it'll take work to get it off the ground and growing. I've got to break through plateaus there too. For the past two years, I was able to take a break in this area and not have to be responsible for field trips, Mom's night out, volunteering, park days, and the like. This year, I'll have to step up and do more to help the group grow. I'll try to find the Women's Ministry type of jobs and fill in there. I've already volunteered for February's Mom's Night Out. Being close to Valentine's Day, I think I'll choose that night to speak on the book, The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.

The last, and hopefully best, part of breaking through plateaus involves my business relocating to the Valley once again. I spent the last 2 years isolated and broke. Now it's time to expand once again, help more people get healthy and make some money - as well as get through my weight loss plateau. It's the most frustrating plateau of all. I can drop 3 lbs in 3 days, and by the end of that same week, gain it all back - without changing a single thing! I can continue to keep my calories at the same level, and be mostly vegetarian eating, cut all sugar and processed foods, and workout every single day - yet my body re-sets itself up 3 or 4 lbs. by the end of the week. So frustrating. Now that we've got a little more money, I'm hoping that I can be on the RVL product more consistently and get through the hardest plateau. I'm glad to be down about 25 lbs this year and down a few sizes from last August, but I still have a long way to go before I feel truly "healthy". It'll be my hardest, most challenging plateau to break - but I'm committed, I believe I can do it, and I'm ready to begin.

What plateaus are YOU going to break through?

Rain

Rain. How you view it is so different based on where you live. I grew up in New England where it rained too much. Sure, it made everything really green, but so many important events got cancelled or post-poned (if not ruined) by rain. Rain led to flooded basements where stored boxes of sentimental or important keepsakes were ruined. It also isn't very kind on septic systems there either!

Then we moved to Arizona - to escape the cold, humidity, snow, and rain. We get barely 8 inches a year and we average 85% pure sunny days. When it rains here, like it is this morning, it's a time of joy and celebration. We open our doors & windows, shut off the air conditioners to get fresh air in the house, and we enjoy the summer monsoon rain best because it breaks the 110+ degree ruts! It'll often be that high for weeks at a time in summer, then one rainy day will top out in the 90s.

It's so much fun to watch Jordan on rainy mornings. She can't wait to run out in it! She enjoys just letting it fall on her with a huge smile on her face.

After too much time in the northeast, we've definitely decided that we now can say, we love the rain.

Photo Challenge: Day 30 (Whew!)

I'll end this 30-Day Photo Challenge with a photo of Tim. He's the real reason for everything going on in my world, anyway. He works so hard so we can live a happy life, surrounded by a great support team of friends and church family, living where there's lots to do and warm winters to keep my rheumatoid arthritis from keeping me in constant pain for months on end.

His birthday was the 27th, and we had him home this past weekend, but we didn't get any photos. My camera's on its last leg and he was only home for a 34 hour reset of his 70 hour workweek clock (which includes breaks, meal time stops, pickups & deliveries). When he's home, we always end up spending the first day running tons of errands to restock his truck for the next 2 to 3 weeks and resupply him with audio books from the library for the trip.

Day 2 is family day. We go to church, spend time together as a family, and try to do a meal together - although at 18, Adam's usually out somewhere.

It's very appropriate to end the month with this picture of Tim. By the way, he's even thinner than this picture. Here he was 161 lbs. Now he's around 150 - 152 lbs. He went from a 36" waist to a 28/29 inch waist! He actually can wear the same size jeans as my thin boys! I love the RVL results we've seen.

Thank you for spending some time on my blog, looking at my photos, and reading a little about our everyday world. Have a great week!

Photo Challenge: Day 29

Congratulations to my sister Alana! After about 10 years of her college changing her requirements, telling her the 1 or 2 labs she has left are too full for her, dealing with serious family issues, and working around 1 and sometimes 2 full-time jobs - she finally did it! She had earned her CNA a few years ago, but now she's an LPN! She found a college with a very vigorous accelerated program that was her last shot at getting her degree. She subjected herself to working at the Lahey Clinic, many long hours of school, going a month without a day off, very little sleep, if any at all, some nights, while trying to maintain some sense of a normal life and keeping her relationship with her boyfriend going strong. It was very difficult, I know, but she made it. I knew she would. She's an achiever and when she's determined to go after something, she'll achieve it. Congratulations, Alana. We're all very proud of you!

Photo Challenge: Day 28

It Lives!!!

During the time the previous occupants moved out of our house and the time we moved in, was about 3 weeks or so. It was also when the weather was hitting 100 degree days for the first time in 2012. Between moving, contractors, and building materials - paired with no one living here at night - the lawn died. It turned pretty yellow and dry just before we moved in. We did cut the back grass on an unusually cool day, in the evening, but in the month or so since, it hasn't grown any - it's pretty dead. If it isn't dead, it's gone dormant, VERY dormant. We've been watering it according to experts I've read online and even in our Sunday paper, which says to water in the evening about every 3 days.

I kill every plant I come in contact with. I'm the only one in many generations that can't grow stuff. Jordan on the other hand, has a way of saving mostly dead plants and making them flourish beautifully. Lawn care was supposed to be Logan's job, but since he's usually gone after sunset, Jordan's been taking over the watering job. Oddly enough, we noticed a wee patch of green on the front lawn last week - she's doing it! - she may actually be saving the lawn! Yesterday when we came home, we saw the green patch was larger, and a new green patch is starting a few feet away from the other one. She's amazing. I guess we'll just leave it up to her and hope for the best.

PS: This fall, we'll aerate the soil, re-seed, and re-grow a new lawn. It's just too hard to expect it to grow in the hottest part of the year. Especially since the monsoon rains haven't come yet - just the dry dust storms.

Photo Challenge: Day 27

No real blogging on this, just the photo. Monsoon season's sunset, created by dust clouds. Sometimes it's deep red, or bright orange, and if we're really lucky, we'll have a tropical-looking sunset in purples and blues. It's different every time and they're the prettiest sunsets of the year.

Photo Challenge: Day 26

Monsoon Season has begun! Here in the Valley of the Sun we have monsoon season. It's when our humidity goes up from single digits to double digits (like today, it's 110 degrees and the humidity is at 15%) but the real factor is the DEW POINT. When the dew point gets up to 55 degrees for 3 days in a row. It usually starts just after the 4th of July - average start is July 7th. It lasts through about mid-September. There's usually about 56 days of the monsoon season, and it's when we get the most rain we've seen for months. We get over 2 1/2 inches of rain during monsoon season. I know many other places get that in just one rainy day, but we often go more than 2, 3, even 4 months without seeing rain here - so it's nice for us. Kids go out to play in the rain here and it's a welcomed event.

In addition to getting some rain - which cools off that evening by 25 degrees or more - I love the clouds. Usually we get a dust storm ahead of the rain clouds, everything turns a strange pinkish orange color. Often you can actually see the dust cloud as it approaches. It gets very windy, but only for a few minutes. If we're lucky, it'll be followed by rain, then the sun comes out again to set. Oddly enough, we always seem to have the dust storms & rain just before sunset, during the evening commute or just a little after. Most of the rain that eventually does happen here, happens at night, so a lot of times, we miss seeing it.

Photo Challenge: Day 25

Another advantage we get from our friends who are traveling is that we get to use their pool while they're away! They live just a bit too far to go there more than a couple times a week, but we're so thankful for the use of the pool. We miss having one right outside our front door like we had in our condo - but at least swimming is still an option for us. We really do love the water. My kids don't enjoy swimming in lakes - they say they're too dirty. My kids? Really?! I grew up swimming in everything from icy New England ocean, to green pre-season pools, to mucky ponds & lakes, to fast rivers with slippery rock bottoms. I think they got spoiled with the pool at the condo.

Photo Challenge: Day 24

This is Jordan's BLT lunch. The rest of us don't eat pork - just her & Tim these days. I posted this to remind me to tell you something funny I came across this week:

Did you realize that if you say "beer can" with a British accent, you're also saying "Bacon" with a Jamaican accent?

Try it...see?...isn't that so funny?!!!

Photo Challenge: Day 23

Summer Time Vegetarian...well, almost.

In the summer, it's hot in the Phoenix area. In fact, the past 2 weeks have been between 107 and 112, every day. When we get those couple of weeks of extreme heat, no one feels like cooking, nor eating a heavy meal. Summertime is when we (almost) become vegetarians. We eat lots of fresh fruits that are in season - the berries, peaches, and nectarines, the peppers, summer squash & zucchini, fennel, and more! Meat becomes something we still eat, but it's more of an ingredient in something else rather than a big hunk taking up 1/3 of the plate. Take this picture for example...

I made a great stir-fry the other day. I tried to get in every color of the food spectrum for the most nutrients. I had red peppers, carrots, yellow squash, bok choy, fennel, purple cabbage, celery, and zucchini. I made it with sesame oil, ginger, and Bragg's Liquid Aminos (like a healthier soy sauce). I did add chicken to it, but only very small cubes that had been marinaded in teriyaki sauce, fried til they were cooked, then broiled for that crisp edge. I made a huge wok full of this stir fry and it was so good! I enjoyed eating it for lunch for 2 days afterwards.

Other summer lighter ideas are tuna in cucumber boats or cups, salads topped with chicken, tuna or egg salad, salads with berries & nuts, and lots of fruit salads - with and without yogurt.

Once the heat is back under 100 degrees, we'll change our eating habits to what's in season then, but for the summer - we're (almost) vegetarians.

Photo Challenge: Day 22

This is Sammy. He belongs to our friends that are traveling east for a month. He's been babied and spoiled and now he's spending a month with us. Jordan's asked for a dog for the past 5 years, so I figured this would be the best way to see if the novelty of a dog wears off soon, and if she'll really be responsible for all it takes to have a dog. We've had Sammy for a full week as of today. He's been great. He doesn't bark a lot, never even thinks about making a mess in the house, he doesn't scratch doors or anything (he waits patiently by the door to go in or out), and he sleeps by my feet almost the entire day. I guess I really couldn't have asked for a better experience babysitting a dog. He's not a puppy, he's actually pretty old, so we knew he wouldn't be hyperactive or anything. The first night he jumped up at every unfamiliar noise, but now he's fine - even when Adam gets up for work from 2:30 to 3:30am. Not only does Jordan get to "have" a dog for most of her summer break, but our friends were generous enough to pay us for watching Sammy and guess what?...it was enough to purchase all of next year's curriculum for Logan & Jordan! Perfect timing. Great dog. Good experience.

Photo Challenge: Day 21

TARPING - the one thing that distinguishes between driving a flatbed or driving a box truck.

Tim chose driving a flatbed instead of a box truck because of a few reasons:
1. It pays a bonus of $11 - $22 to tarp/untarp loads he'd be transporting.
2. The per mile amount is higher overall if you drive a flatbed.
3. The best company that fit our needs doesn't have a box truck division in Phoenix yet.

So Tim has had to learn the art of tarping & untarping his loads. It's not something they really teach you in truck driving school. They give you guidelines based on general sizes, or weights, or materials the load consists of - but nothing too definitive. Most of what he's had to do comes from over-the-road experience and asking other drivers. He's had everything from hay bales, to steel tubes, to oversized-load fans, to spools of copper, bags of salt, and so much more. I had no idea there was so much to it. Between straps, bungee cords, and tarps, there's got to be hundreds of combinations!

Father's Day, Tim had to head back out on the road after church, so we went to take him to his truck where he had to put 2 tarps over his load before he could leave. Logan agreed to help him so it could be done in half the time. The biggest challenges: The tarps weight as much as Tim now that he's down to just 150 lbs, if the company forgot to put the tarps on the load with their forklift, he'd have to climb up a ladder dragging it, then on top of the load, dragging it. Also it was about 110 degrees that day and the trucks in a cement parking lot. Strapping dozens of cords & straps would take 2 hours or more by himself.

Logan did a great job, the company did remember to put the tarps on top for him, and they got done in only an hour. In heat like that, I was so glad Logan is such a hard worker and good helper.

Photo Challenge: Day 20

The Father's Day cake that Logan made...

Logan: "Mom, the cake came out uneven because the oven's on a hill. What do I do?"
Me: (assuming he used actual CAKE pans)..."Take it out of the pan and trim off the part that sticks up. Then flip it over and frost the smooth bottom of it."

Logan: "It fell apart and the entire middle of the cake is still in the pan, stuck."

I got up to see how bad it really was. He tried to flip the whole 9" x 11" cake out of the glass baking dish onto a paper towel, to make it easier to flip back into the dish later, he said. When it stuck, he put the stuck part in the hole on the paper towel. THEN he called me in. Too late to fix it now. He just covered the whole thing with the entire can of frosting, which was white but he added flavorings & color to it.

It was an honest try. It still tasted good, and was a nice gesture on his part for Tim on Father's Day. I didn't want to make him feel bad, so I simply said, "Logan, you and I cook. Jordan bakes."

Photo Challenge: Day 19

FREE! It's my favorite word, especially when it comes from smartly hunting out grocery bargains and matching them to coupons. In this picture, everything in it was free! The bath tissue, the deodorant, air fresheners, toothpaste, toothbrushes, all of it! And that's just from one week.
Other weeks, I've gotten free relish, yogurt, dish detergent, salad dressings, mints, and more!

I love seeing the savings to my family every week, and I really enjoy teaching others how to do the same. I'm so thankful for my new friend, Kara Rozendaal, who showed me how to maximize them. If you've ever said:

- I only buy store brands so they won't work for me.
- I don't have hours on end to cutting, gathering, and organizing a binder full of coupons.
- They're really only good on baby products & pet stuff, so we don't need them.
- I'm a good "by the unit price" shopper, so I save more than that 15 cents coupon on the name brand.

That's where I was. I said all those same things. Truth was, I shopped store brands, dollar stores, clearance racks, and I did save, but I also had to be willing to sacrifice quality. Most things were watered down or didn't perform as well as the national brands. All I looked at was that I saved more on the store brand than a coupon's face value on a non-sale item. There's so much more to it!

Now I buy $4 mayo for under $2. I never pay as much as $1 for cereal or pasta. I get coconut and almond milk for about the same price as store brand regular milk, yogurts are usually half price (off the sale price) or better when I get done. And I consistently pay a lot less for turkey sausage, kielbasa, and Lloyd's shredded beef & chicken than most people.

If you'd like to know how to save on everyday items, from snacks, to food, to personal care & paper items, let me know. I'd be happy to show you how.

Photo Challenge: Day 18

Okay, it's hard to write about me. I've spent years scrapbooking and journaling about others around me, always from behind the scenes. But I do realize that this photo challenge is to capture our world - and since I feel it's my job to tie it all together and make it work on a daily basis - I'll include a brief snapshot into ME.

I can't write about myself because I know me differently than how others see me (they aren't in my head hearing my thoughts, fears, and hopes). Instead, I'll just give a list of words that describe me, my likes, my habits, my world. Here goes:

Pink (the color, not the singer), denim, scrapbooking, 80's, Phantom of the Opera, Air 1 radio, my faith, open book, reading, cooking, "doing tea", coffee, vanilla not chocolate, sunshine, tanning, encourager, swimming, palm trees, no snow, hate the cold, family, building memories, couponing, homeschooling, Facebook, Zumba, Monavie, learning, friends, extended family, board games, loyal, helpful, teaching, bible studies, writing, blogging, motorcycle rides with Tim, dogs, bubble gum flavored anything, sneakers over heels, roller skating, ice skating, Chinese food, Greek anything, life is funny, humor over jokes, detailed planner, organization, the answer person, solution oriented, clean house, organics, non-GMO, conservative republican but respect others' rights to think differently, share my faith but not pushy or judgemental, lunch with Mom, and long phone conversations with Tim while he's on the road.

Photo Challenge: Day 17

Logan...if Jordan is a "mini me" in her appearance, then Logan is a "mini Tim" in his. They look so much alike, but they're so different in so many ways.

Tim: introvert, quick to judge, snap decisions, always running late or taking a long time to get things done, prefers to stay home and watch superhero cartoons & movies.

Logan: extrovert, accepts everyone where they're at, agonizes over decisions, ready to run out the door in a flash to be with friends, hates staying home, likes the latest, greatest, action movies.

They see people differently. They empathize with others (or not) differently. They have very different opinions on things. Their idea of fun varies quite a bit. But yet, they actually have so much in common. They share many of the same strengths:

Both: Are loyal to those they love most, are very hard-working, have very inventor/engineering minds, understand physics like no one else I've ever met, share the same hobbies (like shooting, camping, playing guitar, etc.), and come to the rescue when someone needs help. They are the last 2 boy scouts in my book. As Tim once put it, "I even change tires for UGLY women." They'll get the door for the elderly person behind them, they'll ask if someone needs help when they see them looking around confused. They're first to jump in at an event when they call for volunteers to help set up or tear down the room. They're both very, very smart about a wide variety of things. And in a survival situation - my money's on them.

I treasure my homeschooling years to really, intimately, know all the little details about each family member. I know their strengths, weaknesses, hopes, dreams, failures, lessons learned, points of views, and most of all...I know their hearts.

I see so much more when I look at this picture. I see a Father and Son, and all that goes into being who they are.

Photo Challenge: Day 16

Raising the First-Born...They say the oldest of the siblings grows up to be more driven, more responsible, and more independent. In my experience, I find that to be true. I'm the oldest, so is Tim, so you'd expect that we'd understand Adam, our own first-born better, right? Also, my personality is a Melancholy (the thinker, planner, list-maker & organizer). That's the same as Adam's main personality too, except that his can often border on OCD, but he's doing much better these days.

So why so many struggles as we were raising Adam? I think it's the being independent that really makes the difference. He's always been a hard worker and more responsible than anyone else his age (more than most adults, to be honest), but that independent streak is so strong in him! We have a great relationship because I've homeschooled him. I've been there for everything in his life. I've never missed a sporting practice, game, tournament, play, or anything else important to him. We've had thousands of hours to discuss life, politics, faith, dating, life skills, careers, personalities, academics, music, friends, plans for the future and disappointments. Tim, unfortunately, had to be gone for most of his childhood to provide a living so I was ABLE to do those things for our kids. That put them on very different sides of almost every issue for about 5 years.

Adam begged to work at an early age so he could be responsible and buy himself those things he wanted just weren't in our budget - brand name shoes, skinny jeans, video games, movies with friends - to his credit, he's never asked us for a penny for anything - not even once that I remember. If he wanted or needed it, he found a way to earn it. Anyway, being in a new environment where people were lazy, selfish, and had little if any character traits worth copying, changed Adam. He stopped appreciating what he had and instead, complained because his life wasn't as "easy" as he thought his friends had it. Granted they may have had parents buy them more stuff, or they took vacations to exotic places, but Adam failed to see that they lived in a home with an alcoholic, or drugs, or had been through rough divorces in their home, or never had either parent around - which led to life-altering poor choices in these kids' lives.

Then we had to move to the mountains. Although it was pretty traumatic for him to leave his friends, have to quit his job and be broke, live in a very isolated, rural area with nothing much for teenagers to do...it did do a lot of good as well. He learned to appreciate what he had. He began to see the poor choices of others for what they were, and how they led to bigger issues down the road. He learned to work hard again after thinking he could be lazy and "deserved" to make the salary of an experienced professional at the inexperienced age of 16 (I believe his words were, "I'm all done with physical labor and minimum wage jobs." - at 16!!!). Over those 2 years, he grew, matured, learned, and worked. When we returned to the Valley, he came back happy, out-going, willing to do physical work at odd hours for things he needed.

Over the last few years, Tim too has undergone changes. He's had time to rest from almost 15 years in high-stress sales jobs and working 60 - 70 hour work weeks. He had time to live where there's space, open sky, clean air and water, and to sleep in - a lot! He's also grown and matured. He let go of selfishness and trying to have so much control over others that he was micromanaging everyone and everything. Now he's in a job where he's gone a lot, and it gets lonely, but when he's home, he's really home and with us. He's not overly stressed, doesn't do a lot of physical (although he works hard in spurts, it's not a taxing job all the time). He gets plenty of sleep and rest. And when he's home, he wants to be with us, doing family things together, and he's learned to appreciate his children, and their individual personalities and strengths. He's more accepting of their weaknesses as he's learned to understand his own. He's become the husband and father I've always known he could be.

So here we are about 4 years later. Tim and Adam, his first-born, now on a new journey to discover each other all over again, through new perspectives. Each learning how valuable the other is, and both appreciating their time together.

I love this picture of them sharing a moment together and smiling. Although Logan looks more like Tim on the outside, I see lots of Tim in Adam, on the inside. And I love them both.

Photo Challenge: Day 15

Still Daddy's Girl - Jordan has always been very clingy with me, but she's always been Daddy's Girl, too. When she was an infant and a toddler, she was Punki-doo to him. She would race to the door to be the first to greet Tim when he got home from work. She would sneak into the room (with my permission first) to tickle his toes sticking out from the edge of the blanket to wake him up in the morning. She watched cartoons and movies from his lap instead of just on the sofa or floor.

Once she was starting school, she became "Monkey Duck" to Daddy. I'm not sure where it came from, I think I'd feel insulted being called a Monkey Duck but she always liked it. She even used it as a password for a game page she used to go to. Maybe it's just knowing she was special to her Daddy? That he picked her name just for her, and only to be used by him. She knew she "belonged" to him.

In the early teen years, Jordan's been more independent and moody, as expected. She's had lots of times when her own insecurities and Tim's stress levels caused them to drift apart a little, but her new name is "Chickie". Now I think I gave that to her, but maybe I got it from Tim, not sure - but it defines yet another season of her life.

Now that Tim's home time is special and he's changed so much that he's a joy to be around, she's once again, Daddy's Girl. She wants to talk to him on the phone when he calls. She wants to cook and bake things for him when he's home. She wants to go with me to pick him up. And I even notice how she dresses up for his arrivals and departures.

I don't know what her new nickname will be once she's an adult, done with school, but I'm sure they'll have a new pet name he'll call her, and she'll plan dates with him to have coffee, or lunch, or to feed the ducks in the park.

I aggressively protect my relationship with Tim, but with Jordan, I don't mind sharing him with her one bit.