Added Value: Traveling

   

     The trip was planned a year ago. The airfare was paid six months ago. The vacation was finalized three months ago. The scheduling & school adjustments were made 2 months ago. The Hurricane hit a week ago. Family moved in with us one day ago. And tomorrow we fly out for our long-awaited, very delayed 25th Anniversary trip to the Southern Caribbean. I will have my laptop and some kind of internet connection, but I just may miss a few days of blogging. Don't worry though, I will post travel photos, thoughts from people watching, cultural differences, and other important things while I'm gone. (And in October, I may have another 30 day challenge.)

     One of the unknowns about our trip is our first destination. We were supposed to stop at Grand Turk, and the itinerary says that hasn't changed. I know from what I saw on television that the island was hit very hard by a Category 5 about 8 or 9 days ago, so I don't know what to expect. Maybe they'll change our trip by the time we depart, or maybe they'll still go hoping to bring some aid and resources to the devastated island. That will definitely make for an interesting post once we've been there and left, with time to reflect, either way.

     When was the last time you traveled (even just regionally?) What did you notice that was different about the people where you went? What was the same? How would you have to adjust your life to live there? How would someone there have to adjust to live where you live?  It's questions like these that make us stop and think about others instead of just focusing on ourselves. Imagine if everyone began to really understand and get to know people that were different from themselves. That would change so much in the world. There would be understanding, grace, mercy, and even in bad scenarios, it would make people appreciate what they DO have. And that could make the world a better place.

     I believe traveling is such a great way to learn about people. We're all made up of different customs, values, beliefs, attitudes, and perspectives. Being able to see those differences first hand help shape us, make us more understanding that even when the differences are huge, in the end we're all still "people".

     I'd love to hear from you. If you could travel 1) Regionally where you live, 2) somewhere else in your country, and 3) globally - where would YOU want to go? What would you want to see? Let us know on here. Maybe together we can set new directions for our lives that includes traveling.

Added Value: You're Not Perfect

   

     This post may apply more to the overachievers out there, but here goes...you aren't perfect, so stop stressing over when you can't be. This is a message I had to constantly remind myself over the last 2 weeks. I've had more than my share of stressful things pop up unexpectedly that needed immediate attention. To keep it in perspective though, my state is not on fire, we're not dying from smoky polluted air, we didn't just go through a hurricane, and we're not being bombarded with earthquakes. That limits my whereabouts to only about 5 states, it seems. In the midst of my own "storms" I have much to appreciate and be thankful for every day. And so do you.

     Where did we get this belief that we're supposed to be perfect? invincible? able to put up with everything all at once? and do it all without letting others see the real pressure we're under? Maybe it comes from childhood. I know in my case, I never felt like I could do anything right. I was kind, creative, smart, never got in trouble in school, didn't stay out late, didn't do "bad things" or hang out with the wrong crowd. Yet somehow, it never seemed good enough to please those around me. Maybe that's where the perfectionism and OCD tendencies come from.

     For many, this attitude started in the workplace. If you made a mistake, maybe you had a boss, or worse, a coworker, who publicly ridiculed or remanded you for your mistake. Fear is a huge motivator. Perhaps it's a super highly competitive job. Maybe you're worried about downsizing and you don't want to be the person they cut. Or maybe you're in sales where even if you out-do everyone else, at the first of the new month, it's quickly forgotten and you have to do it all over again just to feel like you earned your reward of being salesman of the month. Such pressure for something so intangible. And often you're made to feel like if you went to another sales company, they'd treat you worse, the work would be harder, and you'd make less money. Got to love those manipulation tactics.

     Could it be that you never felt you measured up to the success of a parent or sibling? It's hard living in someone else's shadow. I know, I've watched a few loved ones deal with that their whole lives. No matter what they do, it just doesn't seem to come together for them and the other person in the family seems to have everything fall into place so easily - with so little effort. It's not fair. But that's just how it is. Eventually they get so demotivated they quit trying. They miss out on the joy they could have in their own life by chasing after a moment in the spotlight in someone else's life.

     Let me be the first to tell you (and remind myself) that it's okay to get stressed out temporarily. Life can be overwhelming. Don't expect things to always go easy just because you decided to live simply. There's still hurricanes threatening loved ones with deadly force, fires that destroy homes and a lifetime of memories, diseases that ravage bodies and end lives prematurely for those we care most about, and sometimes, there's just too many demands made that can physically be handled at one time. It's okay. You are only one person, human, filled with emotions, don't feel guilty for expressing it once in a while. It can actually help to have a momentary release of the pressure so you can take a deep breath and start again. What if right now you feel so overwhelmed you don't know what to do? Here's a few quick things to try:

1.   Take a deep breath.
2.   Walk away from the problem, the person, the phone, the phone, the social media platform,      your desk, whatever it is.
3.  Put on either some relaxing music, or some white noise, or relaxing noise like ocean waves or rain falling - whatever makes you feel more at peace.
4.  Sit down, close your eyes, and either pray - or meditate - or sit in silence so you can rebalance yourself, get centered. 
5.  Logically think through what needs to happen today, then prioritize the list. If it can wait until a later time and today is already too busy, move that off the list. 
6.   Handle the tasks that are the quickest to get them off your list so you'll see you have less to do.
7. Stay focused on one task at a time as much as possible. Too much multitasking often ends up with doing a bad job on everything. Instead, do your best on a few. 

     Most importantly - give yourself permission to be human, to make a few mistakes, to say no to what you truly can't handle. Just do your best. It's all anyone has permission to ask - anything beyond that is on them. You are enough. 

Added Value: Sit Down Dinner

   

     If you took time to sit down and have a quiet dinner without distractions with those you care about most, do you think that would change anything? Most people say, "Not really," but that's not entirely true. Granted, if you sit with someone you're fighting with then yes, dinner won't make things better. But what if you stopped chasing "stuff" and status and agreed to a quiet family dinner, maybe for the first time in weeks, or months? No cell phones, no television, no music (unless it's background relaxing instrumental music), so that everyone can just be calm for a half hour? Imagine taking the time to look across the table, smile, share your day, what's going on in your life, what you've got planned in the near future...Now, imagine LISTENING as the others share about THEIR day, what's going on in their world, what they have coming up. I believe that would be a very different experience from the family that grabs a plate, 2 pieces of pizza, and runs off to different rooms. It's different from going to a fast food place and everyone mindlessly eats as they stare at their cell phones, ignoring each other.

     One of the saddest things I see far too often is a wife all dressed up, her husband has taken her to dinner, but she feels so alone in the crowd because he's ignoring her and keeps scrolling on his phone. In that moment, what is he saying to her? I'll tell you what she's hearing, based on the myriads of conversations I've had with women just like that. He's saying, "I took you out so I'm off the hook, but whatever these mere acquaintances are doing is far more interesting to me than anything I think you'll say tonight. I'd rather see strangers arguing about politics than talk to my wife about things that really matter - like our marriage." I know guys aren't wired to be great conversationalists, but you know what? They know how to do it when they go on that first date. They know how to treat a lady when they're interested in her. Your relationship with your spouse/partner is more important than whatever is posted on Facebook or any other social media - in that moment. And ladies, if you're the one giving the cold shoulder, stop it. Be interested in him. Let him know he's more important to you than anything else in that moment.

     Parents - take back control of your home. I know people are busy, but even teenagers make scheduled plans to go out with friends, see particular movies, and meet up places. They can make a plan once a week or once a month to sit down to a family dinner. You're not "ruining their lives". Teach them that family is important. It's not a time to talk about their messy room, or their grades (unless they're good or the students wants to bring it up). It's time to ask about their life, interests, and situations where making good life choices will come in handy. It's not lecture time, but casual advice goes a long way if it's delivered in a meaningful, loving way. If you're fortunate enough to be a two-parent household, this is when you teach them to respect you both by respecting each other at the table. Be complimentary (not phony) during the meal. Set the example before someone else does.

     All it takes is the effort of a quiet meal where relationships are nurtured and grown. One half-hour is all you need, freed from cell phones and television, to impart what every human craves...significance. Let those you say you love the most know that you really do love them. Make time for them. Let them know they're more important than whatever else strangers in the world are doing. Plan one today for the next time it's convenient.

Added Value: Your Epitaph

     Epitaph: a short piece of text honoring a deceased person, generally written on a tombstone or plaque. What would you want written about your life? How would you sum it up in just a few words? What would you want your obituary to say after you're gone? How do you want to be remembered?
Here's a few quotes to think about...

      SO HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?

Added Value: Wisdom

     

     Today I thought I'd share some quotes I found that contain more wisdom the more you read and think on them.

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. C. S. Lewis

Too many people today know the price of everything and the value of nothing. Ann Landers

When you live your life in alignment with a purpose that is centered on selflessly adding value for others, opportunities become abundant and your life becomes fulfilled.   Hal Elrod

1948. Jackie French Koller. “There are two ways to be rich: One is by acquiring much, and the other is by desiring little.”

1947. Linda Breen Pierce. “Simplicity involves unburdening your life, and living more lightly with fewer distractions that interfere with a high quality life, as defined uniquely by each individual.”

1940s. Richard Foster. “We really must understand that the lust for affluence in contemporary society is psychotic. It is psychotic because it has completely lost touch with reality. We crave things we neither need nor enjoy.”

1935. Harold Kushner. “Our souls are not hungry for fame, comfort, wealth, or power. Our souls are hungry for meaning, for the sense that we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter.”

341 BCE. Epicurus. “Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little.”

The simple life is an authentic life.   Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

Every day, I like to wake up and remind myself to be grateful of the simple things. Miranda Kerr

     Enjoy your weekend. Appreciate those around you. Be with those you love. Find moments of peace, joy, and quiet. Just breathe. Look at the beauty around you. Make your space uniquely you. Rest. Give back. Live Simply.

Added Value: Thoughts/Prayers for Florida

   

     As I wrote yesterday, having so many family members in Florida makes it difficult to focus on much else. I have my mother, 2 siblings, aunts, uncle, and cousins there. My contribution to adding value today is simply this, here are some things to pray for them - if you don't pray, would you please either take a moment of silence for them, or send out these as good thoughts out to the universe, or however you are willing to participate? They need all the help they can get to get through Hurricane Irma - and Hurricane Jose is right behind it.

Before the Hurricane hits:

1.     I ask for safety for all those in Florida. May the storm die faster than expected, the winds reduce from what was projected, and may there be less devastation than anticipated. May the hurricane's path turn to a less devastating one. I ask the people to be safe wherever they have to weather this storm. If there's flooding, may it be either less than planned or else have it recede faster than expected. Allow safe travels for those trying to get out of its path, and may people unite to help one another as needs arise.

During the storm:

2.      I ask that the storm would move in a path that minimizes the damages and risk to the most people. I ask that people's homes and shelters would withstand the winds & rain. May the waters not rise too high that people are stranded or in danger. May the residents' supplies last as long as they need them to. Bring help to those who will need it. Special protection for those who are handicapped, special needs, or battling illnesses that put them in a weakened state to begin with. Bring everyone through this safely.

After the storm:

3.     I ask for help and rescue to arrive as soon as possible for those who need it most. May everyone be able to carry on normally as soon as possible after the storm passes. May waters recede and power be restored well ahead of predicted times. Keep those who've been damaged or injured be restored to health or at least not get worse from here on in. A special blessing for those who have nowhere to go, may they find safe refuge and the help they need to start again.

     If you took a few minutes to go through these, thank you. Please try to remember to revisit these as we get through the weekend. It does no harm to ask, but it could possibly mean a huge difference.

Added Value: Hurricane Irma

     Today my blog post will be different. It's hard for me to find a way to write about living a simple life while I'm worried about my family in Florida. Many live on the east coast, and my sister, mom, and brother are on the west coast of FL. There's no evacuation for them, and the media shows photos of highways full of non-moving cars, the gas has run out, like some end of the world or post-apocalyptic movie.

     I feel like the best way to "add value" to people's lives today from where I sit is to pray for the victims already struck, pray for the storm to change direction and head more over water and less contact with land, and for the safety of all those in its path.

     If you don't pray, would you maybe take a moment of silence for them? Or light a candle for them? Or do whatever you do in times like this.

     Today, hug your loved ones, tell your family and friends how much you love them, because before this Hurricane is done, there will be many people in its wake who didn't have that chance.

     God bless.

Added Value: Aesthetics

   

     Many people hear about minimalism and living simply and they picture stark white walls, white floors, white ikea furniture, and not much else. That's not what it's about. It has nothing to do with living like a monk in a centuries old cement monastery or making your home look like a prison cell. For your home to be a place of refuge, that brings you joy, you have to consider aesthetics.

     What type of person are you? What makes you feel at peace? Where are you most comfortable? If it's the beach, add some beach decor, just choose specially chosen, intentional pieces placed in a few areas without becoming "clutter". Maybe an art piece that's not busy like this:

     Then maybe just add a few things in matching colors, that pink sand color or aqua water or natural wood. It could be a vase, one throw pillow, a lap blanket draped over a chair, a candle on the kitchen or dining room table, or a large starfish or conch shell on a shelf next to a few books. Keep it simple, but bring in what you love.

     What if nature is your happy place? Again, find a piece of simple, minimalist art of a single leaf, or a set of 2 or 3, then continue to add that dark green or real wood in small pieces. It could be a piece of driftwood on a shelf or table, again, a vase or candle, a simple green rug on a bare hardwood or tile floor. It's up to you to decide what makes your home feel warm instead of stark and cold.

 So what if your style is "country" as in Americana, or western, or bohemian, or Victorian, or a culture you embrace such as African, Indian, or Italian? The possibilities are endless, just keep it simple. Keep every single thing you bring in meaningful because it adds to your sense of style, personality, and makes your living space your "home". Here's a few examples:

 It can be art pieces, throw rugs, mirrors, frames, pillows, blankets, bookends, plants, lamps, anything that brings in who you are.

 Just be intentional. Choose carefully only after giving it serious thought. And if you decide in the future it no longer is necessary or bringing you joy, don't be afraid to consider it "clutter". Sell it, donate it, or give it away to someone who you know will enjoy it - and try again. Don't turn it into an excuse to shop. Don't use it to RE-clutter your space. Just make it yours, and keep it simple.

Added Value: Capsule Wardrobe

 

     First, a quick update on my hacked Amazon account. I want you to know I live what I blog. After doing all I could from my end, I was left to wait to hear back from them, and waiting for the bank to open this morning to make sure everything was okay. What I didn't do was panic. I truly had a good rest of the day yesterday once passwords were changed and notifications were set up. I absolutely was at peace mentally all day. I chose to not let anxiety and stress have a place in my head. I decided not to let things out of my control ruin my day. I hope you learn to live a more simple life like this over time too.

     Now, on to the business at hand in today's post...The number 1 top thing people ask me about is creating a Minimalist Capsule Wardrobe. Let's start off on the same foundation:

1.  It's not about how many items you own. It's only about creating a wardrobe that saves you time, space, wasting money, and eliminates the unwanted clutter. Lots of people have a wardrobe between 30 and 50 items, but it's not any type of rule. It's all about what works for YOU. The key is having things that layer and work together, and are made up of similar colors that work together as well.

2.  Where you live determines your wardrobe. If you live in a warm winter climate and super hot summer climate like in Arizona, Texas, or Florida, you won't need a wardrobe specifically designed with scarfs, winter hats, thick boots, heavy winter coats, tons of sweaters, etc. If you live in the northern areas like Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, or Maine, you will definitely have a much different wardrobe in January than you will in July. This is why no set number works for everyone.

3.  You don't need to "display" your off-season wardrobe along with your current one. This tends to make you waste space and time getting ready. Keep your unused clothing boxed and stored in a closet or under the bed, which should be easy if it's only a capsule sized wardrobe anyway. Only keep your current clothing in your closet.

     Okay, with that in mind, here's a few articles and videos that can help you either get started, or complete your capsule wardrobe. With fall approaching in just a few weeks, it's time to go through and figure out what you need, what to donate, and what needs to be thrown away. Enjoy! Just click on the links to see more:


How to build a Fall capsule wardrobe for women

How to wear a minimalist style this fall

Men's Minimalist Capsule Wardrobe

Men's Capsule Wardrobe - Business Casual - 34 pieces

Fall Capsule wardrobe

Added Value: Handling the Unexpected

   

     So this morning I had plans to sleep in (until at least 7 am), take a shower and ease into my day. That didn't happen. Instead I woke up to find my Amazon account had been hacked, and I know they store your credit card info. and it's nearly impossible to avoid it. I've tried removing it, editing so it's one number off so it won't go through, etc. but the info. stays there. I found out at 1 am my time, someone in Russia (or with a Russian email) changed my password, locking me out. I called customer service who was less than helpful. They filled out a "compromised account" form and someone will email me in a day or two. They couldn't get into my account without the new email and new password matching to shut the account down. This was totally unexpected - so how does someone trying to simplify their life handle the unexpected? I can't speak for everyone, but I handled it logically and methodically, step by step.

     I did call Amazon first, as I said. Next, I tried to contact my bank but of course it's a bank holiday today, so I moved all my money from my checking/debit account to my savings account - something I taught my son after someone drained his checking account last year by hacking his xbox account. Then I let everyone at home know what happened so they can make sure their accounts are protected, money is moved, etc. Next I called PayPal because it's tied to my bank account - and they were VERY helpful. They took all the proper precautions and suggested I change passwords on ALL bank/credit cards so if a stranger goes to use them, they won't match. I changed all of them immediately, then got the proper things done on each account until Amazon's case worker gets around to emailing me "in a day or two". I asked them, "Do you know how much stuff you can buy online in just a day or two?!" They said there's nothing else they can do and nothing I can do through them but wait.

    Okay, so what do you do when life hands you the unexpected? It's very urgent, it's very important, it becomes THE top priority to handle, and you already know everything else will either have to wait or be cancelled. The answer is to do what you CAN, but don't let your emotions get the better of you. I was shocked, worried, stressed, full of anxiety, nervous, and my mind was racing asking, "What do I do next?" And that was just the first 2 minutes. The most important thing you can do is to STOP. THINK. RESPOND instead of reacting. (In my case, the first step should always be to PRAY. If that's not your thing, that's up to you, just move forward from here.)

1.  Prioritize - what needs to happen first? What's got the most potential to stop or slow the problem? Or who needs to be notified FIRST? What will keep it from getting worse?

2.  Organize your steps - work down a short list from the most important to the least important, whether it be who to call, what to do, where to go, just stay calm and do one thing at a time. You can't fix multiple things all at once so why stress over them all at once? It does nothing to help you or your ability to deal with the situation.

3.  Double check - go back through the situation and think about if you missed anyone/anything that still needs to happen. Settle your mind down and think carefully. This way, once you get through all you can do on your end, you can let go of the worst of it.

4.  Wait - this is the hardest part, but it's necessary in almost every case. Either you wait to hear back from someone, or you wait for results, or you have to wait until further action can be taken (more information is necessary). Since this part can't be avoided, don't stess over it. That won't stop bad things from happening anyway. Do something else to relax you, or be productive, or clean, or take your mind off it however you choose - but wait in a calm state, not an anxious one - it won't help.

5.  Results will vary on this one depending on the situation. It may change everything, it may fizzle out and be resolved. Either way, it's a new set of decisions to make. Just try to handle those unexpected things one at a time, in a less stressful way.

As for me, I'm in the waiting stage until Amazon gets back to me. I've done all I can from my end, so now I will go through my day normally - refusing to stay upset and nervous - and we'll move forward once I hear back from them.

Stay calm. Breathe. Think. Respond. Be at peace.
   

Added Value Day 3: Use Time Wisely

   

Does it seem like we live in a world that's too busy? Are people always making excuses for why they don't take vacations, play with their kids, make time for their friends - and the excuses are the same - "I have no time"? The truth is, everyone has the same amount of time, 365 days a year, 12 months a year, 52 weeks in a year, 7 days a week, 24 hours in each day, 1440 minutes a day (doesn't that seem like a lot?), and 86,400 seconds every day. So how are we spending our time?
     Fourteen HUNDRED minutes. Such a large number, but it never seems like it as we're running on the hamster wheel of life every day. What do most people who are busy do with them? Here's a breakdown according to one website (click on the link): How Americans spend their time

     According to this article, the average American over the age of 15 spends most of their time sleeping, over 8 hours each 24 hour day. Most older folks I know sleep far less than that, rising before dawn, and most teenagers and young adults I know sleep far more than that, often sleeping til noon on days they aren't at work or school - so I guess it's a fair "average". It does say people with kids sleep a little less. Statistics show more men work full time and many woman work part time, again this is on average. The surprising statistic is that people have 5-6 LEISURE hours every single day, and even more on weekends! So how is that time being spent since people have "no time" for what they say is really important? Here's another link to tell you how most of that time is spent:

 How Americans spend their time

     MORE THAN HALF OF OUR LEISURE TIME IS SPENT IN FRONT OF THE TELEVISION!

     I'm sorry, but that seems appalling to me. With kids desperately missing out on quality time with their parent(s), families aren't eating dinner together nor talking about their day anymore, friends don't make as much time for each other like they used to a generation or two ago, it's so sad to think the few precious hours and minutes we get, we waste it watching television.

     America LEADS other nations in how much time is wasted in front of the TV, followed closely by Australia, Italy and Poland. Which nations watch the least? Korea, China and Sweden. What does Sweden offer to do with all that extra leisure time? They exercise (sports, walking, etc) and spend time building relationships. As a result, 83% of their children under 16 are healthy. Compare that to the U.S. where only 33% of kids get exercise daily, and only 30 - 44% of adults in different age groups do. American children spend more than 7 1/2 hours in front of the TV! The Swedish spend their long winters with friends and family where most Americans stay inside and live sedentary lifestyles.

     What about Korea? What do they do to limit too much internet and television? They actually have programs with counseling and psychological treatment for roughly 2 million people to break the addiction. They also eat healthy, make entertainment (live theater, family events, local events) a priority, exercise, enjoy the outdoors, especially camping, and engage in meditation/relaxation practices regularly. Their average life expectancy by 2030 is said to be over 90! Americans could learn a lot from them.

     And lastly, what about China? Exercise is a way of life, along with eating healthy, fresh foods. Many articles I've read talk about the retired aged couples of China never owning (some never even seeing) a can opener before. China even has a province called Guangxi where many residents live to be over 100 years old! Also, relationships are key to a better life. Their elders are revered, and it's a treat to spend time with them whenever possible, as one generations teaches the next, on down the line. People are socially connected. They promote restorative sleep and are serious about managing stress. Compare that to the U.S. where we sleep less, thrive on stress as a badge of honor, ignore our elders in nursing homes so we don't have to "deal with them", there's less and less respect with each generation, we exercise less than any other nation, and instead of many centenarians, the average lifespan in America is barely 79, and dropping every year as cancers, heart disease, obesity, diabetes, and other sedentary lifestyles outweigh the modern miracles in medicine.

     Use your time wisely. Spend it with your loved ones. Spend it moving, exercising, hiking, walking, participating in sports, etc. Don't waste what time you have creating a life that's neither filled with joy, nor adding value - use your time wisely.
   

Added Value Day 2: Book recommendations

   

     Are you looking for some help in figuring out all this minimalism and living a simple life? Here's a few books I recommend, and why:

1. Everything that Remains by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus

I love this book because of the way it's written. The authors take you through their journeys (which were very different) that brought them to minimalism. As you read through the tragedies in Joshua's life, he writes with such emotion that it pulls you in, you feel what he's going through. When you read how Ryan got started, you realize that you are affecting those around you in a positive way as you grow and change. It's a quick read, great for a weekend.

2.  Minimalism: A Minimalist's Guide to Eliminate Clutter, Clear the Mind, and Increase Productivity by Paul Silverman

This is an ebook that I got on Amazon (free at the time as were most of these recommendations of ebooks). I liked this because I read it in about an hour or two amid distractions. It helped with practical decluttering tips, but also how that brings about the peace of mind I was seeking. The productivity part is about how you don't waste time on the unimportant so you free up time to pursue your passions.

3.  Capsule Wardrobe: 10 simple & easy steps to declutter your life of endless shopping and find the personal style everyday with a minimalist wardrobe by Hannah Hannigan

Although this ebook title is a mouthful, the book is nowhere near as long-winded. It gives step by step advice on how to pare down your wardrobe to mix and match essentials and accessories to you can own far less items, yet continue to have many options of outfits by simply mixing and matching things that already go together. It will save you so much time in the morning because you don't have to worry about what looks good together, you don't have anything in your closet that doesn't fit or look good on you, and you won't waste time getting changed over and over. Great time-saver tips.

4.  Discover Minimalism: A Minimalist Budget: Finding Freedom Through Saving Money and Spending Less by Adrian Pepperdine

I breezed through this book rather quickly because it was all straight to the point, good advice, and they're ideas that work, no matter where you're starting from. Part of living a more simple life will involve not carrying lots of anxiety producing debt. Again it's an ebook that you can read in an hour or so.

5.  Clutterfree with Kids by Joshua Becker

This is one of Joshua's 3 books advertised on his website. Although I haven't read all of them yet, I know this one is a great one for people wondering if minimalism is possible when you have kids. Joshua also has great essays and articles on this subject, and the book will help you realize that yes, you can live a minimalist, more simple lifestyle even if you have kids. He doesn't live in a tiny home, he doesn't make his family only own a certain number of possessions, but he does explain how to allow everyone in your family to be who they are and still create a happier, more simple life through minimalism principles.

     I hope these books will be helpful for you. You may also find other FREE ebooks available on Kindle or Amazon on these topics. I go in and check every month or so for new ones, download them to my tablet, and they I can carry multiple books with me when I'm headed somewhere I know I'll either have down time or need to stay busy while I'm in a waiting room.

     I hope these add value to you as they have to me and many, many others. Enjoy your long weekend if you're in the U.S.

Added Value Day 1

   

Welcome to September! Get ready to see pumpkin flavored everything wherever you go. This month I will try to post almost every day, working around a trip out of the country, a wedding, and relocating family from FL. My posts in September will be what I heard the Minimalists call "added value". It's things they share that add value to their lives. It may or may not add value to yours, but they share it in case it does. That's my goal. To bring you things that will help you.

     Today I watched a young woman take on a one week challenge to live like a minimalist. It's about 8 minutes long but moves along quickly and it's done very well. She stumbled a bit because like many people, she was under the impression it meant remove almost everything from her life, trying to keep a minimal number of possessions at her disposal. She ends up keeping too few clothes for the week, getting rid of makeup because she said it's not essential. What she does find however is that she enjoys living with less clutter, stuff she didn't even remember she had. She was shocked by how much stuff she had just in her one room. Also, she learned to save time getting ready in the morning, felt more relaxed coming home to less clutter, and she meets someone who teaches her that minimalism still includes things that add value, hold meaning, and bring joy.

     Enjoy the video, and remember, what you keep or toss is totally up to you, it looks different for everyone, and it has nothing to do with the number of items you own.  It's about bringing joy and peace, living a more simple life with more freedom, and letting go of the unimportant. Click on the link below to watch - Enjoy!

1 week experiment with being a minimalist

Evaluating the Aug. 30-Day Living Simply Challenge

   

     What a great month August has been. We've covered topics from how to spend you time to decluttering your home and food/diet. We talked about gossiping, donating, comfort zones, and busyness. Here are the top 3 Topics that people read:

1.  The Matrix - If you missed this one, is was Aug. 24, it was about not being fooled by the fake economy advertising, marketing, and culture portrays as real - wake up to their tricks and don't be fooled!

2.  Giving Back - this was published Aug. 26, and in light of Hurricane Harvey, if ever there was a time to donate it's now. People need everything. They've lost their homes and along with it, their clothes, beds, appliances, electronics they needed for school/business/work, and so much more.

3.  This was a tie between Decluttering your Food (going through your home and getting out all the junk that's making you sick, unhealthy, and tired) and the post on Handling Stress. Who couldn't use that info? or just a refresher?

     In the last 30 days I really do find that I am beginning to live a more simple life. I make intentional decisions. I say no to things that would make me ineffective in the prioritized, more important areas. That allows me to say yes, and to focus on what's most important, not just what's urgent. I find that by being single-focused on tasks (instead of my old habits of multi-tasking, which I was very good at), I am doing a better job at those important tasks. I find I'm having better relationships with family, friends, and those in my circle at church and school. I'm becoming a better listener - one of the most important things I can learn to do since I'm studying to be a counselor. I also find in areas that used to be very stressful, my new go-to habit is to let it go if it's not important long-term. So much is out of our control anyway. Being stressed over the car that cut me off, or having to pick up after others who didn't do their job or handle what was their responsibility. I still have that instantaneous moment and may let out a quick huff, but in about 5-10 seconds, it's over. I don't let it affect the next person I talk to or next task I handle. I find coming home to a decluttered house is a source of almost immediate release. I walk in and don't feel like things are closing in on me. The space and neatness of the house reflects my mindset, and in the last month, I'm much more at peace than ever before. I have finally learned to rest, not just sit down with my mind racing or emotions pushing to the surface. I don't get overwhelmed by hardly anything these days.

     My hope is that through the posts of the last 2 months of daily challenges, you too will find peace, rest, harmony, your passion, and you will learn to manage and even let go of most stress and anxiety, grow in areas you pursue, and will be able to live a more simple life every single day, regardless of what goes on around you. It's like finding that calm in the eye of a storm. You can't avoid the storms of life but you can learn to rise above them and navigate through them.

     For September, I will be handling topics relating to Minimalism and Living Simply, recommending articles, essays, websites, documentaries, YouTube videos, and more on the subject. It will be a busy month for me since we're moving my mom and brother in with us from Florida, finally taking that 11 day trip for our 25th Anniversary, and our son is getting married - yes, all in the same month, and in fact, all in the same  18 days! I will be online during vacation since I have college classes to keep up with, so I will continue to post on here, so keep coming back for information how to improve your life. Just be patient if a miss a few days for flying, the wedding, bad internet connection, etc. I would love to come up with another 30 day challenge for October. If you have ideas on some you'd like to see - please - comment back what you'd like to see!

     On one final note, here's our stats here on the blog for the past month:

• Over 1145 views in the last 30 days
• 10 different countries reached: United States, Canada, France, Portugal, Greece, Poland, Ukraine, Germany, Ireland, and the United Kingdom
• People are being reached through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google Plus (although I don't really even know how that one works - how do I find others in that group that I can connect with?) 

     Have a fantastic rest of the week. Looking forward to hearing how your life became better through the concepts of minimalism and living simply. Please feel free to recommend other sites or people you've found with helpful information on these subjects too. It's not a competition, it's a message most of us minimalists are trying to get out to everyone in a shared space.

Living Simply challenge Day 30: Begin with the End in Mind

   

     Where do you want to be this time next year? What about 3 years from now? 5? 10? How do you suppose you're going to get there? Most people go through life assuming things will somehow just work out, then wake up one day to find they've spent half their life already and aren't much further than they were when they started - or worse, they've fallen behind where they were a decade ago because now they've tripled the amount of debt they carry and their health is paying the price from all the stress. So what can you do TODAY so you end up where you want to be in the future? It's called, according to Dr. Stephen Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, "Begin with the End in Mind".

     If your goal is to be out of debt in 5 years, you need a plan today to get there. Start with selling everything you don't need, all those extra electronics, collectibles, bicycles or sports gear you never use anymore, old movies and music, televisions, even clothes can be sold on websites like Poshmark.
You could have multiple yard/garage sales, sell online, post on Craig's List, or even sell stuff to friends, family and coworkers. Use that money to pay off whatever is your smallest balance. Then use the money you used to pay on that balance and apply it on top of what you pay monthly to the next lowest balance. For example, let's say you had a clothing store credit card with $700 of debt you owe. From selling your items you make $700 so you pay it off. Now the $80/month you used to send to the clothing store, you add to say, your Visa payment, now, paying down the balance by an extra $80/month. In just one year, that's an extra $960/yr coming off what you owe. You also could pick up a part-time job or if you're creative, make DIY stuff and sell it at a Farmer's Market and apply that to your debt too.

     If your goal is to buy a car in another 2 years, you need to start saving now. You can do the same steps as above but put aside an amount each week or month in a separate account for a car. If you could manage some kind of side job that gave you $500/month extra, in a year you would have $6000 to buy a used car with no car payment - then use what you used to spend on your car payment to pay off other debt.

     If your goal is to become a writer in 5 years, you could start today by learning about the writing process through books, online classes, physical classes, even local libraries usually have authors and classes that help inspiring writers get started.

     If you wanted to plan for a trip to Europe in 2 years, you could start today by saving for it on a regular, planned schedule, with set amounts to get you there. You also could begin the research of the best places to stay, things to do, etc. hunting for great destinations but figuring out the least expensive ones or which season is priced the lowest.

     What if it's to go back and finish your education? Start today filling out the necessary forms, applications, essays, financial aid forms or scholarship entries, and figuring out what you need to get the degree you want - but make sure you give it serious thought so you know WHY you're taking those classes. Have a plan for the type of job or business you want from it. Don't sign up with no idea what major you want. If you don't want anything, why pay thousands of dollars for it?

     Maybe it's to finally settle down, have kids, and be home to care for them. Start now putting money away, paying down debt, downsizing if it saves you money in the long run. A 3 bedroom home is plenty for a family of 4-5 people. Don't believe the tv shows that try to convince you a couple with no kids needs a 5 bedroom house and 3500 square feet! Prioritize. We spent 7 years in a 1000 sf, 3 bedroom home, with our family of 5 because our priorities were for me to stay home to raise my kids and educate them. It was more important than working 2 or 3 jobs, living in a house too big to take care of with an enormous mortgage payment, just so the "impressive" house sat empty since everyone worked, was in school, daycare, and after school activities. We raised our kids to be good, healthy, productive members of society with values and morals, a heart to support those that need help, and a true sense of right and wrong. I'm not saying that isn't possible any other way, but I'm saying that our sacrifices were worth it many times over considering the results we got. We began with the end in mind and did what was necessary along the way to obtain those results.

     As you can see, having a direction to head, or a plan if you're a planner person, is how you get where you want to be. Not by spinning your wheels day after day. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing day after day and expecting different results. Figure out what you want and how you can get there.

     If living a more simple life is your destination, then start simplifying today. You can go back and read (or re-read) my daily challenges in July and August taking baby steps today that will, over time, turn into life changing habits to get you there. All it takes is a single, intentional step.


   

Living Simply challenge Day 29: Busyness

      Where did we get the idea that multitasking was the only way to go? Why do we value busyness? How well do we think we're doing anything when we're all over the place? Would others think we're doing as good a job as we think we're doing? Would those who are closest to us say they love being around us as we multitask? Is it really getting you closer to the things you say are your core values? your passions? Or is it all an illusion created by industry to get the most out of us so they can grab the most for themselves?

     You've worked all day, multitasking to please your boss, or to "get ahead" - ahead of whom? Who is really your competition? Anyway, you get home, walk into the house, and waiting for you is your beloved family who's missed you all day. They haven't seen nor spoken to you, and the children are so happy to finally get to talk to and play with you that they can't contain it as they hop up and down in excited anticipation. Your spouse comes to also greet you as you walk in the door because you've been missed all day long. What a wonderful feeling to come home to, right? Being missed, loved, appreciated, and wanted? Except that it doesn't play out this way for most families, unfortunately. Instead it's something like this:

     Mom has also been working all day, plus she had to stop at the market on the way home, has been on the phone to the utility, phone, or insurance company while she had to drop off, watch, and pick the kids up from soccer practice. No time to make dinner, plus she's exhausted - someone called in sick today so she had to do her own job plus cover their's. Just a drive thru meal tonight for everyone...again. If she's lucky she'll make it home in time for the kids to take their finger foods to their room and get homework done before bed.

     The kids are doing just as bad. They have to get up so early to catch the bus, then a full 7 hour day at school, after school clubs and practices, then sports around 4:00. After running around doing sports drills for an hour, they're ready to fall asleep in the car, but bedtime isn't for another 3 or 4 hours. They're so tired of fast food. It all looks and tastes the same and leaves them feeling so unsatisfied, but they understand where Mom's coming from today (and every afternoon). They still have homework to do when they get home:  studying, answering questions, a take home quiz, spelling words to write multiple times for the test tomorrow, and then there's that science project that's due soon, if only they had time to start it!

     Dad walks in but he's distracted because he's on the phone. He's getting chewed out by his boss because, though no fault of his, the big client is about to switch to another competitor's company and losing that account will mean no bonuses, so he "better do something about it quick".  The car's making that weird noise again, so while he's on the phone, his mind is somewhere else tracing the car's systems to figure out an educated guess what the problem is. When will he have time to leave the car at the garage for a day or two? So much to do! By the way, he noticed on the way in that the grass and yard are looking messy again. There's always leaves to rake, kids' toys that weren't picked up, trash blown into the yard from the neighbor's house. And he thinks, "As soon as I'm done, I'm going to sit in front of the TV with a cold beer, eating whatever food the wife picked up on her way home, and just "veg out" for the next 4 hours trying to forget about my day. I don't want to talk to anyone or hear about anyone else's day.

     Isn't this the American dream? To have the spouse, nice house, new car, 2 kids, etc? If you asked the members of this family what's important to them, what would they say? I bet many, if not most, would say "family", but is it? Where's the evidence of it? No one is talking to each other. No one is making time to foster a better relationship with one another. Their time is spent everywhere but together."But families do need at least one good-paying if not two jobs to survive, so what can be done differently!?"  Here's another scenario:

     The final bell rings and the kids are excited to go to their one after-school activity. More than that would take too much time away from homework, family, rest, friends, and the more important things in life. Because they only get one activity after school, they really had to think hard about which to choose, weighing their options until they knew where to focus their time and energy. It's so convenient because they don't need a ride to get there, and they can leave all their stuff in a locker until it's time to go home instead of all over the car, the dance studio, the soccer field, etc.

     Mom leaves work to pick up the kids around 4:00. She's so glad they decided to cut back on excessive, impulse shopping so that they could live and thrive well on a 30 hour job for her instead of the 40 hours she used to work. Now she has time to talk with the kids about their day, cook a healthy meal for her family, she loves cooking. They can plan an after dinner family activity together with the input of the kids' ideas. Mom's not over-stressed or exhausted. She's happier and more relaxed these days.

     Dad gets home shortly after Mom and the kids. He's so much more fun to be around since he quit the high stress job for one that pays enough for a comfortable lifestyle. Downsizing from a 3000 square foot home to a 1600 square foot one meant plenty of leftover money each month for doing things together, even a vacation that they never had before, even though Dad made more money than now. No stress over the car anymore. They sold the expensive one and bought a more mid-size sedan that has no car payments. There's time to relax because with a smaller home and less hours spent in busyness, everyone pitched in Saturday and got all the yard work knocked out in just a couple of hours. The phone never rings at home like it used to, no more late calls from the boss about some problem. Work gets left at the office and home time truly is time to gather together as a family.

     After a healthy dinner, there's time for Mom and Dad to spend time with the kids. They play a friendly game of volleyball in the back yard, then go for a walk as dusk settles in. The kids, now in a more peaceful state after the relaxing family walk, talking over everyone's day, making plans for the future together, can go upstairs and work on homework. Fortunately, since they didn't have to rush off to a second or third activity, they were able to stay at school and work on part of their homework before their activity started, so there's not much left to do. Mom and Dad are on hand to help out so the kids can get to bed earlier and be fully rested for tomorrow.

     Once the kids are in bed, Mom and Dad have a chance to sit together on the sofa and watch one little show they recorded to watch on their time. It's a good show with lots of great lessons - nothing upsetting or stressful before bedtime. Afterwards, they head off to bed together, holding hands, thankful for the more simple life they lead, and they think, "We made just a few changes, but they were enough to totally change our life from one we hated to one we love." They built the life they always wanted - and I think THAT is the American dream. Which will YOU choose?

Living Simply challenge Day 28: Little Decisions

   

So all month we have journeyed together through making intentional baby steps towards living a more simple life. Just 3 more days left, then a day of evaluating on the 31st. Today's challenge is again, some baby steps to simplify and make your life your own - a more simple life.

1.  Try waking up a little earlier than usual so you have time to stretch, exercise, have a relaxing cup of coffee or tea before heading out the door, reading, spending time in your bible or praying, plan your day, etc. Use it wisely and intentionally.

2.  Let go of the little stuff that doesn't matter: the car that cut you off, or the person in your "15 items or less" line at the grocery store with 22 items in their cart - you know that because you silently counted them from where you were.

3.  Stop your cable if it's a huge time waster in your life. You can have wifi without television, and still you have options like Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, etc. when you intentionally plan to sit and watch a movie.

4.  Decide to drive past the store and don't shop on impulse. It's not "something to do".  It's a waste of money and time.

5.  Eat simple, healthy foods whenever possible. Eating junk food will only zap your energy until you're exhausted, make you feel heavy from all the grease, and make you bloated from the sugars, chemicals, and gluten.

6.  Intentionally make time for things that add value to your life or bring you joy - like getting out into nature for a bit, making time to play with your kids, planning a date night, making plans to go be with friends (maybe for a game night to save money).

7.  Say no to things that you really don't want to do. Agreeing to do something you hate, then resenting it, and remembering it when you're with the person you said yes to - that's not the way to live a simple life. By saying no to things, you'll be able to say yes to what's most important to you.

8.  Minimize distractions. Give yourself time with your notifications off, even if it's just at night, or for a half hour during the day. Keep extra television, radio, and other noise off if it's just background noise and something you're not intentionally choosing to do.

9.  Read books, don't just collect them. I love books, but unread books gathering as clutter just adds more stress and pressure to your life. Read one, then donate it or pass it on. Get them from the library or download free ebooks before you end up paying retail for them.

10.  Give your attention to those you love, not strangers on the internet. Your time is precious but not just to you. It's precious to those who love and miss you. Shut out social media in favor of building and enhancing quality relationships with those that mean the most to you. An hour commenting and arguing with people on social media is so wasteful when you figure what that hour could mean to a mom in a nursing home, a child who doesn't get to see you enough, that friend you know needs you, the neighbor you know needs help with something, that spouse who misses you, or calling that distant friend or relative you know you think about and miss all the time.

Be proactive. Be intentional. Prioritize. And all of these things can be little, incremental baby steps to take you from where you are now to the more simple life you seek.

Living Simply challenge Day 27: Thankfulness

   

Thankfulness - a noun meaning gratitude or appreciation. Are you a person who is thankful? Do you truly appreciate what you have or where you're at? Are you grateful for the people, things, opportunities and gifts in your life? If not, today's challenge is to begin with a baby step, a step towards becoming thankful for who you are, where you're at, what you have, those around you, and for what obstacles, challenges, and bad things you do NOT have.

Here's a few things to start with:

1. People - this will look different for everyone, but hopefully there is someone in your world that you can be thankful for because they're there for you. Do you have someone to discuss things with, bounce ideas off of, or they encourage you when you need it? If not, it's time to get out and meet a few people with common interests until you can identify someone like this. For the rest of us, maybe you have a spouse or partner, parent, sibling, adult child, cousin, aunt/uncle, grandparent, mentor, coach, pastor or priest, teacher, adviser, counselor, neighbor, friend, boss, or coworker. Take time to be thankful for the person(s) who is there for you. Maybe even figure out a small way to let them know you don't take them for granted - buy them a cup of coffee, invite them over, do something with them, write them a note just to say thank you...

2.  Favors - Has someone gone out of their way to do something nice for you? Did someone help you accomplish something you couldn't do, or do on time, without their help? Has someone done something to save you time or money? Rearrange their plans to accommodate you? If so, be thankful. Tell them you appreciate what they did. I know you probably said a quick, 'Thanks," at the time, but if you stop to really think about it, did it cost them something? Time? Money? Go out of their way for you? Put off their own agenda to please you or make your life a little less stressful? Thank them. Don't ever miss the opportunity to let people know you appreciate something they did for you.

3.  Contentment - Are you able to be content with what you have? So much of culture is anxiety and depression ridden because they can't appreciate what they have. They constantly search for the next new thing. What if you stopped for a minute, looked around, and wrote down what you are thankful that you have and are content with having? If you've already decluttered, this may be easier for you since you've only kept what's important to you. If you haven't, you may just realize how much you're surrounded by things that bring you no joy, nor are they currently relevant, or useful. Do you have a bed to sleep in? A table to eat on? Books to help you learn and grow? A computer so you don't have to go somewhere to do what you need to get done? Clothes to keep you warm? Food to eat? Shoes that aren't worn through? A vehicle to get you where you need to go? A job? Be thankful, because I have met many people in my life that don't have half of these things yet somehow they are content with what they do have, and they appreciate what they have. I know people who've lived without running water or hot water, no electricity for extended periods of time (including none to keep food in a refrigerator or cook with a stove), no heat in winter, no air conditioning in summer, no food when they or their children are hungry. Be content with what you have because someday it could all be taken away unexpectedly.

4.  Miracles - you can take this one however you choose. Some of us have a strong faith in a higher being and have seen miracles happen that cannot be explained any other way - far beyond coincidence. Maybe it was a serious health diagnosis from tests that suddenly cleared up without treatment overnight. It could've been seeing a total "180" in someone's personality that saved their life or that of another. It could be the miraculous timing or gift or meeting someone that never should've happened but did and changed your world (or someone else's). Others choose to live life without thought to any type of faith or higher being, and that's their choice, I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do - but even they have sometimes witnessed or seen things happen that there's no logical explanation for it. It could be a one in a million odds that came together in their favor. Maybe the timing on something was brought together in a way that no one could have even hoped for. Sometimes it's that chance meeting with a stranger that changes your whole world. Whatever miracles you've seen or experienced, be thankful for them. Every day there's people asking for a miracle and it just doesn't happen. Appreciate the wonderful ones you've received.

5.  Security - we no longer live with the naive belief that we are "safe" in this world There are people who do bad things, unexpected weather disasters, unstable stock markets, job insecurity, less relationship commitment than ever before, lies, dishonesty, and more. So how can you be thankful for security? It's like contentment - be thankful for the security you do have while you have it. If you know you've paid your mortgage or rent for the month, be appreciative that at least for the next month, you don't have to worry about being homeless. Many don't have that luxury. Did you go grocery shopping this week? At least you know you and your family will be able to eat for the next week or so without missing meals. Many don't have that luxury. Are you wearing clothes that aren't threadbare, stained, with large holes in them? Many don't have that luxury. Do you have a job or other income producing project/business? Many don't have that luxury. Is your car pretty reliable? Do you really expect it to break down if you drive it tomorrow? Many don't have that luxury. There's nothing more embarrassing than listening to someone find out after complaining about not having something that he's talking to someone with so much less than he has (and doesn't appreciate).

6. Health/Body/Mind - Okay, we all have things we don't like or have issues to deal with, but let me break this into 3 sub-topics in regard to thankfulness:

• Health:  Maybe you aren't in the best of health, maybe you are. Maybe you're on too many medications, maybe you aren't. Maybe you've got weight to lose, tired a lot, don't sleep enough, but maybe not. Either way, would you trade with a stranger who suffers from major health issues? You may have weight to lose but what about those struggling who can't do everyday tasks? You may be tired, but want to trade with someone who's got Chronic Fatigue Syndrome? or Narcolepsy? Don't sleep enough? Want to trade with someone with a true, severe case of Insomnia where nothing works - not meditation, white noise, medications, bedtime routines, herbs & supplements, essential oils, aromatherapy, etc. Try going through life, having to go to work or school when you haven't gotten more than 6 hours of sleep across 3 or 4 days! Be thankful for the health you have, wherever it's at, because many would trade theirs in a heartbeat for yours. 
• Body: Do you have 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 hands, 2 feet, a crippling disease, cancer ravaging your insides, a nervous system that's medically failing? If you have the ability to walk, work, think, get out of bed in the morning, you don't have to live in a hospital, be appreciative of that. Be thankful that you can do the little everyday things you take for granted. Many don't have that luxury.
• Mind:  There's a growing number of people suffering from dementia, Parkinson's, and other mind degenerating diseases, as well as people being born every day with learning disabilities. Don't waste what you've been blessed with - a mind that works - however fast or slow. Appreciate that you can remember things, learn things, evaluate and initiate change, make intentional choices. Many don't have that luxury.

Now onto the little things that you can do every day to develop the HABIT of being thankful. Take note of the little things around you, things that could have been worse or gone badly. Learn to watch for them. Here's a few ideas:

your pet - you made it to the bus/subway/elevator before the doors closed - good hair days - finding money in the pocket of a jacket you haven't worn in a while - someone opening the door for you - when someone says thank you to you - sunny/rainy/cool/warm days when you need it - a good meal - good service - a comfy chair - the short line in the store - time with someone you love - vacations - the car started today - your paycheck was a little more than you thought - sunsets - a good book - a speech or documentary that helped change you - a moment that made you laugh - music - a good night's rest - winning something - scoring something you needed for free - getting the last "one" before it was gone (tickets, seats, items, etc.) 

What if tomorrow you woke up with only the things you remembered to say Thank You for the night before?