Added Value: Sit Down Dinner

   

     If you took time to sit down and have a quiet dinner without distractions with those you care about most, do you think that would change anything? Most people say, "Not really," but that's not entirely true. Granted, if you sit with someone you're fighting with then yes, dinner won't make things better. But what if you stopped chasing "stuff" and status and agreed to a quiet family dinner, maybe for the first time in weeks, or months? No cell phones, no television, no music (unless it's background relaxing instrumental music), so that everyone can just be calm for a half hour? Imagine taking the time to look across the table, smile, share your day, what's going on in your life, what you've got planned in the near future...Now, imagine LISTENING as the others share about THEIR day, what's going on in their world, what they have coming up. I believe that would be a very different experience from the family that grabs a plate, 2 pieces of pizza, and runs off to different rooms. It's different from going to a fast food place and everyone mindlessly eats as they stare at their cell phones, ignoring each other.

     One of the saddest things I see far too often is a wife all dressed up, her husband has taken her to dinner, but she feels so alone in the crowd because he's ignoring her and keeps scrolling on his phone. In that moment, what is he saying to her? I'll tell you what she's hearing, based on the myriads of conversations I've had with women just like that. He's saying, "I took you out so I'm off the hook, but whatever these mere acquaintances are doing is far more interesting to me than anything I think you'll say tonight. I'd rather see strangers arguing about politics than talk to my wife about things that really matter - like our marriage." I know guys aren't wired to be great conversationalists, but you know what? They know how to do it when they go on that first date. They know how to treat a lady when they're interested in her. Your relationship with your spouse/partner is more important than whatever is posted on Facebook or any other social media - in that moment. And ladies, if you're the one giving the cold shoulder, stop it. Be interested in him. Let him know he's more important to you than anything else in that moment.

     Parents - take back control of your home. I know people are busy, but even teenagers make scheduled plans to go out with friends, see particular movies, and meet up places. They can make a plan once a week or once a month to sit down to a family dinner. You're not "ruining their lives". Teach them that family is important. It's not a time to talk about their messy room, or their grades (unless they're good or the students wants to bring it up). It's time to ask about their life, interests, and situations where making good life choices will come in handy. It's not lecture time, but casual advice goes a long way if it's delivered in a meaningful, loving way. If you're fortunate enough to be a two-parent household, this is when you teach them to respect you both by respecting each other at the table. Be complimentary (not phony) during the meal. Set the example before someone else does.

     All it takes is the effort of a quiet meal where relationships are nurtured and grown. One half-hour is all you need, freed from cell phones and television, to impart what every human craves...significance. Let those you say you love the most know that you really do love them. Make time for them. Let them know they're more important than whatever else strangers in the world are doing. Plan one today for the next time it's convenient.