Living Simply: How we simplified Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving can be a great time for large gatherings, but lately I find most people I talk to have a quieter holiday than we all did in our childhood. Most of it is because of consumerism & materialism. Every year it's been getting harder and harder to find a day and time for our family meal. Some work in jobs over the road, some live far away, some work retail so no evening meal together since Black Friday sales now start around 4:00 on THANKSGIVING Thursday night! And others work in food service and they're required to work holidays too.

     A few years ago we changed our traditions from a big family gathering to a quiet, candle lit dinner with just a handful of us, whoever could be there. We didn't make plans to go visit distant relatives or drop by friends' houses. We decided in all the craziness of the holidays and especially Black Friday (the one day a year I never go out), we'd have an intimate dinner instead. Candles. Quiet conversation. Plated meal. Soft background music. Relaxation. Can't you just feel the peacefulness in it?

     This year, it's even harder. Our youngest has a 2nd job and a new boyfriend where she's spending the day, our middle son is now married and spending holidays at his new place 200 miles away, and my brother is working the day shift, my oldest son the night shift. It'll mostly be just me and Mom. Even my husband's schedule has him far from home that day over the road. How did we simplify this? It'll be more like an all day buffet, but peaceful. I'll sit and eat with Mom and if I'm lucky, my oldest son before he heads out. I'll keep things looking festive for when my brother gets home. We'll maybe play some board games, or watch a movie. I'll make just a few homemade things - maybe a side dish and a dessert or something. The rest, I'm buying. Yup, I'm not cooking for so few people. I'm simplifying our life. I ordered 2- meals for 2, so it'll feed the 4 of us that'll be home. It comes fully cooked and hot, with several side dishes and rolls. We'll have sparkling cider, egg nog, and cranberry juice. But I'm not wasting the precious time I do have with my family members rushing around and slaving over a stove. I'll spend it conversing with them. Intentionally.

     What can you do to simplify your Thanksgiving? Will you make one stop instead of two? Buy the dessert to save time? Make it a quiet meal instead of a loud free for all? Or will you make it fun with just easy heat up appetizers and finger foods so everyone can watch the football game together? Whatever you decide, play by your household's rules. Simplify your life. Enjoy those around you.

Living Simply: Date Night

     If you've been finding ways to free up your schedule and save money, you may find yourself able to plan and do a date night with your spouse or significant other. But with a minimalist style of living simple, what does date night look like? Well, first off, it doesn't have to be a trip to the fast food place down the street and hitting the dollar menu. If it's planned, and intentional, and you've saved for it, then it could be more expensive experience tickets like live theater or a concert. The choice is up to you - but if you want some ideas whether just for something new to do, or to simplify date night, here's some ideas to get you started.

1.  Do you both like to cook? Find a "restaurant secret recipe" online from either your favorite restaurant (or type of restaurant) or your favorite dish (ever make Chicken Cordon Bleu or a Beef Wellington before?). Shop for the ingredients, just be mindful of what's worth spending money on before you pick your desired dish. Learn to make it at home together.

2.  When was the last time you went bowling? or threw darts? or shot pool? Do one of those activities that you used to do back in the day but don't anymore. Maybe you'll remember how much you loved it. This can apply to anything - roller or ice skating, fishing, hiking, etc.


3.  What about inviting your favorite couple over and having a 4 person game night?


4.  Is there a beautiful park, beach, walk by a lake or pond, or any place to walk within a reasonable distance? Go for a walk together. I sometimes drive a few miles away to a large, gorgeous park with a

5K trail around it.

5.  Mini Golf anyone? or Go carts?

6.  Is there some cute little cafe to grab coffee and a treat, then walk the streets around it?

7.  Take a class together - cooking, making your own beer at home, scuba diving, gardening, etc.

8.  Check out Groupon for deals in your area. Just click on the link.

9.  What about a surprise picnic? Any little spot out of the way works, even in the middle of the woods after biking or four-wheeling in.

10.  Volunteer together someplace and help brighten someone else's world.

Living Simply: Fear

I could write a big post about fear and offer advice how to get through fears, recognizing false fears, etc. but since Will Smith does such a great job here, I'll just let him explain. And by the way, what he says applies to almost  everything in life. Enjoy.

Living Simply: Minimalism

Many people who want to live a more simple life eventually stumble across the topic of Minimalism. What exactly is it? Do I have to have only a certain number of items? Am I no longer allowed to have furniture? Does that mean everything in my home has to be white walls, ceilings, and floors, along with black and white furniture? But I love my antique dishes that belonged to my great-grandmother!

You'll be happy to know that these misconceptions about minimalism are false. The truth is, it looks different for everyone. You may be a single professional living alone, one of a small group of college kids sharing a dorm, a young couple just starting out, a couple in their 30s with several children, an older couple considering retirement soon, or a widow/widower wondering how to get rid of so much accumulated stuff that's more than one person could ever possibly need. You are who you are, and you're in the stage of your life that you are. You do, however, have some choices.

1.  What is really important to me because it adds value to my life, or brings me enjoyment and happiness? Keep those things. Toss, donate, or sell the rest. If no one cares about it, stop hoarding.

2.  How many things is too many? That's up to you. If you enjoy cooking and baking for your large family, you may have more than most in your kitchen and pantry. If you hate cooking and baking and live alone, you'll have the bare minimum in your kitchen. Same goes for every other room, too.

3.  Can I keep collections? IF they bring you value or joy, you truly don't want to get rid of them in any way, shape, or form - by all means keep them. However, if you're holding onto something you and your household hasn't used in the last 6 months to a year - it already "belongs to someone else" - give it away.

4.  What's with the black and white when I do minimalism searches? It's not a rule. Many minimalists like simple, clean lines that they can aesthetically enhance with just a few, simple, colored items. Black and white go with anything and everything, so that's usually their foundation. If you'd rather have walls that are a soft gray or light tan, then go ahead. If you really like color, use it. It's bringing you joy and adding value to your home - do it.

5.  What do I do to get started - baby steps? Begin small. There's lots of suggestions on earlier posts I've put on this blog. Maybe start with one junk drawer, or one closet, or one drawer. Then keep going as you feel it makes you happier and more relieved, and it will. It's hard to explain the freedom in owning less things, but it's truly there. It's the one common factor among minimalists - they feel better after decluttering their life than they did before they did it.

It's all about you, your family, your stage of life, your values, your enjoyment. Be who you ARE.

Living Simply: Less is More

   

     In spite of the advertising companies messages that you'll be envied, respected, and just "be more" with their products, the truth is, less is more. Less stuff to acquire, update, maintain, dust, repair, and put away. Less time wasted shopping for things you don't need, then to stand in long lines for "stuff" just because you fell for an advertiser's gimmicks. Less debt. Less busyness. Less striving to keep up with others. Less accumulating and cluttering just to impress people you don't like. Less really does become MORE. More time, more savings, more freedom, more relaxing, more contentment, more intentional decisions, more importance on the right things, more added value in your life, more living a simple life. Sound good? Wondering how to get started? Here's a few quick things to ponder and try:

1.  Start. You can jump in with both feet, but you can also start slow, taking baby steps towards your desired goals, but you must actually START. You don't have to think about taking days to declutter an entire house. It can be one junk drawer, one bookcase, one desk and its drawers, one closet, one pantry, just one little area to tackle with give you the motivation you need for the next little area next time.

2.  Not sure if you should keep or toss something? Don't stress over it. Put it in a box out of sight for 30 days. If you didn't need it, or even miss it, then it's okay to sell it, donate it, or throw it out.

3.  Get a handle on your emotions. We all have things that are sentimental to us for different reasons. Living simply, or becoming more minimalist has nothing to do with a number of items you keep, nor following any set rules. Your life is only determined by you. I realized many items I held onto just didn't need a place in my home anymore, or could bring someone else more joy than it brought me, so I let it go. A few things I really did want to keep, so I did. You can too. Just don't hold onto things as a way to remember others - the memories are in YOU, in YOUR MIND, not in a material thing.

4.  Are you keeping multiples of things? Do you have 2 CD or DVD players yet you only listen to digital music or download movies these days? Do you have duplicates of books, or photos, or kitchen utensils? Pick one to keep, or none if it no longer adds value to your life, or if it's outdated technology. Could something else I own do the same job?

5.  THROW AWAY THOSE MISMATCHED SOCKS SINCE THE OTHER'S BEEN MISSING FOR YEARS NOW!

6.  Toss out all those condiment packets from the local fast-food place.

7.  Donate books and magazines you'll never read again - a library, a school, an elderly facility, a hospital, an office with a waiting room, all are good places that could use them.

8.  Sell, donate, or toss old things you don't use anymore like perfume, jewelry, shoes, etc.

9.  Minimize your wardrobe by removing anything you haven't worn in the last 90 days (with the exception of seasonal things, like winter parkas in the summer - put those in storage out of your closet). Turn all your hangers backwards, then as you wash and rehang items, turn them around the right way. Anything at the end of 30, 60, or 90 days (your choice), you know you haven't worn it, aren't likely to wear it anytime soon, so get rid of it so you only keep what you enjoy wearing.

10.  Toss expired things - old condiments in the fridge, old makeup that you know is old, sour smelling old perfume, coupons, medications (follow proper disposal guidelines, some you can toss, but others you should bring to a pharmacy to dispose of so it doesn't end up in the wrong hands), stuff living in your freezer for too long - now covered in freezer burn and "snow", oils or nuts that have gone rancid, hard as a rock brown sugar, etc.