Living Simply: Obstacles to simple living

I've noticed for the past 8 weeks or so, life has been a continuing series of one time events (stole that quote from my friend, Bill). Sometimes life throws obstacles at you in rapid succession, they aren't one continuous thing you failed to address, just a bunch of random, one time events, one after another. When this happens, it's hard to live the simple life you're trying to adopt. So what types of things "attack you" and what can you do about it?

1.  Illness/sickness/allergies - This one hits randomly. I've convinced it has nothing to do with protective measures anymore. You can be around people coughing and sneezing and be fine, yet you come down with something when you're using sanitizer and locking yourself away from everyone possible.  - So what can you do about it? You can try home remedies, natural remedies, increase your immune boosters like vitamin C and garlic (a natural antibiotic) but the truth is, it will last as long as it lasts, and will go when it's "done with you". So to live more simply, take the time to rest when you need to. Don't be the hero. All it does is take you longer to heal. Sleep. Nap. Cancel a few things if you must. Rest is the only real determining factor once you know it's not something super serious requiring prescriptions. And if it is serious, accepting it, taking your medication, and resting is all you can do anyway. Enjoy the extra rest.

2.  Projects you must complete - For some it's a work project with a deadline, for me, it's a college assignment, like a 10 page report in perfect English grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. Maybe it's research you must do before you can begin an on-coming project. - What can you do about it? If it becomes the priority in your world, then give it your full attention. Trying to do a bit here and there will not give you the best results and it makes your efforts twice as hard. Set aside a block of time to get the thing done so you can move forward with a new priority as soon as possible. Giving it your full attention will assure it's most likely done right the first time.

3.  Life throws stuff at you sometimes - you may experience a string of things like a flat tire, your bank account has been hacked, your phone died, and you're car won't start, all in the same week. It sucks but it happens. Take a step back. Breathe. Handle one thing at a time. Make whatever appointment needs to be made, set aside time to talk to those who can help you. Just get through them one thing at a time. It won't be this way forever.

4.  Other people need you - It could be your partner, kids, coworkers, aging parents, friends, neighbors, just about anyone. They need your particular set of skills or a ride to and from somewhere, or for you to volunteer for something in a pinch. This is where you need to know and trust your own judgement. If it can wait until a more convenient time, reschedule your help. If it has a deadline AND you feel it's something you can and should do, then do it and don't look back, give it your best. If it's something that's very inconvenient, timing is wrong, and it's not your responsibility, then a polite "no" is allowed. Don't feel guilty. The other person will either get over it or they won't. You must decide what you can and cannot handle - especially if it's for someone you know doesn't come to the aid of others when they need it, or if the person who habitually needs you because they do nothing to help themselves. No guilt. Don't lose sleep over it. Don't let their emotional manipulation get to you. Just give them a polite "no" and move on. Again, if it IS your responsibility, then be an adult and handle it quickly, with best intentions, and then you're free to move onto something else.

Living Simply: How I've changed

     About a year ago, I re-watched The Minimalists' documentary on Netflix called "Minimalism" for the second time, and I knew that's the direction I wanted to head. The first thing I did was take some time to think about it. What was I looking for that I didn't find yet in my life? Why did the documentary make me want to change? How could I be happier by getting rid of things I had bought over the years - after all - didn't I buy them because I DID want them? Could I life a more simple life in a pretty large family, in a pretty large house? (I couldn't downsize since we won't be empty nesters for a few more years, plus we were relocating my mother and brother here to give them both a new start.

     I started looking around for other things online related to minimalism, then living a simple life. I came across Joshua Becker, a man with a family who lived in my state and was making it work, but his reasons were a little different. The minimalists are great, I've met them, but it seemed easier since they were single guys (with girlfriends, not entire families). Joshua was able to explain the WHY of it in a way that related to me...to simplify life, to spend more time with those you love. It wasn't about simply eliminating the unwanted and unnecessary from your life, it was also about adding important relationships. Upon further reading, I found this way of life was doable whether you're a single guy backpacking across the world with nothing but what fits in your pack, or a family guy with a houseful of kids. I decided to give it a try.

   
 I started in my room, closet, and drawers. Then I moved into the kitchen, dining room, and pantry. Next I went through the other rooms removing everything that no longer brought me joy, added value, nor served a functional purpose anymore. I removed FOUR MINIVANS FULL! And that wouldn't be the last of it. I probably continue to drop off things about once a month (including things my family no longer needs). I got rid of books I'd kept for years but read numerous times. I gave away movies, clothes, kitchen utensils, dishes, mixing bowls, and a ton of knick knacks and decorations. Now, the house has so much less to deal with. If the average home has 300,000 items according to statistics, I personally have reduced my own to about 10% of what I had, and about 50% of what's in the house (I don't force those I live with to do without because of my own preferences).

     So what is life like now? If you've read my blog over the last 6 months or more, you'll see I really do live a more simple life. I still go down for the count with illnesses or have stressful situations to get through, I'm not trying to show you some make-believe phony life. I just handle things differently now. I take time to enjoy peace and quiet, time with family, doing things with friends, and getting enough sleep without feeling guilty. I make time for the important things, which right now is maintaining my 4.0 GPA while running a home, being a mom, making sure my own mother is taken care of, and having a husband who's gone close to 300 days a year. I just handle it better. Why? Because I have "room to breathe", and time to think. I handle things better because I don't stress over things that haven't happened yet. They say 95% of things we worry about NEVER even happen, and the other 5% is almost always things we have no control over anyway.

     Watch the documentary. Read about Joshua Becker online. Think through how much stuff you've accumulated that you don't need, it takes up space, it requires time to take care of it, and why you still hold onto it. Maybe it's time for you to simplify your own life, to intentionally calm your life down, and just enjoy being in the moment, and enjoying more peace of mind, and more rewarding relationships. Have a great week.