So 26 days into this Minimalism challenge I find myself living move simply, more relaxed, more at peace, yet still productive. It's possible to be less busy but still get everything done you need to, so I guess I cut out wasted time, or said no to things I would've said yes to, or just stayed more focused on the important things.
Today's challenge is to identify your stress triggers. I will say, about 6 months ago, I had a lot of them. Now that I'm living intentionally, I actually find myself less stressed. It wasn't as easy to find stress triggers today. Granted, I'm at a point where my entire family is not home almost every day, or at least most of the day when they are here, so I have an unusual amount of alone time - first time in my life, really, and I'm so enjoying the quiet times.
The challenge is still there so let's get to it. Here's my top 3, but not necessarily in any particular order:
1. People who carelessly waste my time - I've mentioned this in an earlier post. I understand if things get delayed, or post-poned, or are running late, but it's the CARELESS wasting of my time that causes me stress. If I'm your customer, don't ignore me while you stand there having a personal conversation with another employee or texting on your phone. I came to you for a purpose, with cash to trade for a service or product. I did not show up to lose an extra 10 minutes because you're bored so you're talking about your last day off or upcoming weekend or where you went out with your friends - as I stand there waiting. You get the idea.
2. Bad drivers - There's no way to express how much this one gets to me, although I AM working on letting a lot of it go, but I'm not there yet. Don't cut across 3 lanes of traffic at the last possible second to make an exit you knew was coming up ten minutes ago. Don't change lanes to get 6" in front of me when there wasn't anyone in your lane in front of you, nor the lane on the other side of you. Don't drift into my lane and almost hit me because you're staring at your phone screen instead of paying attention to driving. Don't slam on your breaks on the highway, almost totaling my car, when traffic comes to a stop because you again, were looking at your phone and didn't realize we were all going 30 mph instead of 75 mph like you were. I don't mind slow drivers, I can just go around, passing on the LEFT which is legal. DON'T pass on the RIGHT, ever!
3. Changing my "schedule" over and over - I'm getting better with this one, but it's always been a pet peeve and here's why: I've stated before, I'm a planner. I'm a thinker and an over-thinker. If I have a schedule, it's been thought through. I've taken lots of things into consideration you don't know about. I have to work around other things you again, know nothing about. Don't tell me what time to expect you, or meet you somewhere, and then change your plans randomly, for no other reason other than you just felt like doing something different, then call and expect me to immediately drop everything and leave now.
Disclaimer #1: My husband has every right to do this to me any time he needs to. He cannot predict what day or time he'll need to be picked up because his schedule is dictated by weather, his job, traffic, responsibilities, and other things beyond his control. He's learned to be very respectful of my time by giving me a ballpark day & time to pick him up for his weekend off, then update me as the day goes on so I know more and more accurately how the day will unfold. This allows me to readjust my own responsibilities so we are synchronized. And I appreciate it so much!
As for everyone else, be respectful of my time. If you know you'll be here a week in advance, and want to stop in, call me so I can be here. If you know you told me you'd be here at 4 pm and you left hours earlier and will be here 3 hours early, let me know 3 hours earlier that plans changed. Please don't call and say you're on your way and will be here unexpectedly in 10 minutes. It's not fair to me and it adds a lot of stress to an organized person.
Disclaimer #2: My in-laws are the exception to this. They are 200 miles, 3 1/2 hours away. Anything can happen from traffic jams, to a cancelled meeting near me, etc. so if they didn't know they'd have time to stop by and suddenly they do - they're welcome to stop in and I'll try my best to be here. Our family is so grateful for all they've done through the years, especially in our most dire of circumstances, that they get a free pass on this one.
Old pet peeves I used to have that I've learned to let go of (I think) are things like the old lady counting out her pennies at the grocery store because her purse is "too heavy" when she's got a wad of bills in her hand and there's 6 people behind her waiting in the only open lane. I still am in shock when people speak their minds without any thought of how what they say makes them look or others feel. You've seen the YouTube videos gone viral of rants, people who freak out on employees, and you've been at the party where someone loudly yells at and insults another guest in front of everyone making everyone there uncomfortable. I still don't like it, but it doesn't stress me out anymore. I still don't like traffic jams that are caused by people staring at a car pulled over with a flat tire like it's some life threatening multi vehicle homicide scene, backing up traffic for 6 exits. I don't like it, but I'm not yelling at everyone to "Come on! Go!" anymore. I used to get stressed over getting home and finding out something I paid for at the store is not in my bag when I get home. It's usually some item under $3 and my time is worth more than that, so I let it go.
What kinds of things do you get stressed over? Are they something that won't even matter a year from now? Will it matter a month from now? Will it matter a day from now? Will it even matter in just 5 minutes from now? Then stop stressing and let it go. Learn to live simply and you'll find the peace you've been missing in your life.
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