Living Simply October Challenge: Day 7 - decorating

     If you've gotten your space decluttered, and you're thinking you'd still like to decorate for the holidays, but don't want to clutter it all up again - I put out this challenge to you today - plan your decorating to reflect a more minimalist lifestyle. Here's a few examples:

1.  Bring in some holiday colors in things like pillows or small throw blankets over the sofa. You could bring in a piece of artwork or even a platter with holiday colors/themes to put over the mantle or on a wall. Perhaps a small vase or glass with a few carefully chosen flowers like poinsettias or white cotton balls still attached to their natural stems. They can be fake flowers too if they look good aesthetically.  And when it comes time to decorate something large like a tree, keep it simple. Maybe just lights and nothing else, or maybe just a few intentional ornaments leaving lots of green space between them.

      We do a themed Christmas every 2 years. This year our theme is "beach". Our simple ornaments will be clear plastic bulbs with sand we've collected during out travels over the last few years. We'll add only a handful of intentional, carefully chosen, beach-themed ornaments to add a splash of color, but as I said, only a few.
     We'll bring in the beige, white, light blue, and coral pink colors in simple things - pillows or candles or maybe just the wrapping paper we choose to go under the tree - but even then, we're not overdoing it on material gifts, either. Our focus will be on making a dinner that's casual and relaxing, beach-themed foods and beverages, and boardwalk type snacks. Nothing stuffy, fancy, expensive, or overdone. Clutter is the last thing we want in our space.

     If you don't need to do a large tree, or if you have no small children coming over, then there's no need to feel guilty about skipping that tradition this year. Forget everyone else's expectations and simplify your holidays. In the picture on the left, you can see a few oversize branches placed behind a sofa with a small wreath over head is simple, inexpensive, and looks very high-end. Bringing nature into the home during the winter is a great way to keep it simple but add that touch of warmth and interest this time of year. In this photo, you could choose festive intentional pieces to go on the tables, or change out the shade on the floor lamp. Maybe you could put a sprig of greenery around the top of the lampshade? The rug appears to be an area rug, so that could be changed out for warmer colors that would work from for 5 or 6 months.

     Maybe all you need to decorate is the fireplace (even if it's just a decorative one in a small apartment or condo). Bringing in simple decorations like the stars in the photo on the right, a simple word like "noel" on the mantle in natural wood, a few candles (even those battery operated ones), a simple string or two of either lights, greens, or decorated garland, and simple wood pieces and twigs in the fireplace...simple, inexpensive, easy. If you actually USE your fireplace, then obviously you'll need to keep the bottom cleared and don't hang anything across it that could catch fire. I'd stick with only what's on top of the mantle and maybe add a tall, skinny vase on either side with simple long twigs. If you live where you can just go outside and pick your own, that's even better! If not, there's lots of options in department and craft stores - even dollar stores have them sometimes.

     Homemade decorations can be simple, inexpensive, and yet fill your home with warmth. Here's a simple idea that has endless possibilities...pick a candle, real or battery operated, in the color of your choice, then put it in a simple glass vase that's just a bit larger, again, shape and color are up to you, then surround it with natural things that are the right seasonal colors - they could be cranberries, lentils in orange and green, black beans that are sold dry in bags, sea glass or colored stones found at any dollar store, twigs, candy corn, whatever comes to mind.

     I hope today's challenge gets you thinking about some easy, simple, minimalist ideas for your own living space. It doesn't have to be expensive, cluttered, or all over the place. Keep it simple. Enjoy the process. Have fun with this.

Living Simply October Challenge: Day 6 - $ for the holidays

     

     So, if you're trying to live simply, and you've decided you aren't ready to shock your family with the no material gifts, you're going to need some money. Whatever you do, don't use credit cards and go into debt to make other people happy or meet their expectations. Instead lets talk about ways to boost your income before then. Today's challenge will be to get to work on one or two of these ideas this weekend so that you're in better shape as the hectic holiday season gets closer.

1.  Have a "stuff" sale - call it a yard sale, tag sale, garage sale, estate sale, whatever you want, but sell off your unwanted stuff. Pick a weekend (As soon as possible if you live where it's cold!), and schedule a sale. People will buy your stuff even if you think it's worthless, there's always people out there looking for things like it for cheap money. Here's some ideas:  kitchen appliances (George Foreman grills, doughnut pop makers, popcorn poppers, irons you never use, mixers or food processors you won't use, etc.), Bath or Body gift sets - you know, all those gift packages of soaps, lotions, bath salts, etc. that you've never opened. Most people never do, they just leave them packaged as a decoration in a bathroom or spare bedroom. Sell it! Old dishes & glasses, clothing, toys your kids have outgrown, board and card games and puzzles no one uses anymore, old music and computer cds, radios and those old boom boxes stored away, coats and boots, shoes, books, unused perfumes, lotions, makeup and colognes, old ties, knick knacks, statues, and basic decorations that aren't necessary - they just clutter your home.

2.  After you've sold off the smaller, cheaper things, consider selling your more expensive things on websites like www.letgo.com, or www.offerup.com. Those are great places to sell larger or pricier items like real jewelry, furniture, artwork, collections and collectibles, old cameras, larger appliances, etc. I have a friend who sold almost $1000 worth of unwanted pieces of furniture in one weekend, and another couple of hundreds worth of jewelry another weekend.

3. Craig's list or some other local website where you sell to people near you is great for stuff like tools, or things someone who works in your field can use. It's also great for selling off things you don't need like that spare car, bike, motorcycle, fishing boat, etc.

4.  Pick up a TEMPORARY part-time job. If your car is 5 years old or newer, you could become a driver for Uber, Lyft, or any of the other dozens of new driving services out there in your area. You know exactly who's picking you up with a photo ID before-hand, and it's built to protect both driver and passenger. The best part is that you get to set your own days and hours, and you can be as flexible as you want.

5.  Afraid of picking up strangers? Try UberEats. People order food, you drive to go get it, charge a fee for the service and they tip you. Never underestimate how many people will pay to have food delivered instead of going out to get it themselves.

6.  There are also sites out there that will pay you to take online services. Each survey is worth points, and when you get so many points (varies from company to company, even AARP has a program like this), you trade it in for gift cards and items that can be used to do your holiday shopping. It takes time, but it's flexible enough to work around other things. What if you scheduled one or two days/nights a week to work on just that? You'd have a fairly steady stream of additional income.

7.  Mystery Shopping. If you've got pretty good language and grammar skills, you can be a mystery shopper. You walk into businesses, view apartments, check out casinos, or make phone calls, then report back if they did everything right according to instructions given to you ahead of time. Usually it's easy things like ordering food and beverages, making sure they're all in uniform, time how long it took to receive your order, maybe take a photo of the food, and report if it looked and tasted right, was the establishment clean? easy things like that. A word of caution though, be careful you choose a reputable company, and they should NEVER ask YOU to pay for ANYTHING to join them. A few I've worked for are:  EPMS (epsomonline.com), Intellishop, Sentry Marketing, BestMark, MarketForce, and A Closer Look. Sometimes you get lucky and get a great shop that offers you a free night in a hotel in another city that you needed anyway during the holidays. You get reimbursed plus a small fee paid to you but it saved you from paying for one and not getting reimbursed.

     Be creative - there's lots of ideas how to make money before the holiday sets it. I challenge you to plan something to get started on today.

Living Simply October Challenge: Day 5 - Being in the Moment

     What does it mean to live in the moment? What comes to mind? Sipping a hot beverage by a mountain lake just after sunrise? Relaxing in the sun by the beach letting everything else go? Rowing a canoe down some rapids through a canyon? Taking a walk in the cool of the day? Really sitting and listening to someone who needs you without any other distractions? Enjoying looking over that new baby, spending time memorizing their little face, fingers, and toes, taking in that powdery "baby smell"? Now let me ask you another question...

What does it mean to live in the moment during the holiday season? 

     Have you ever thought about how to do that during the hustle, bustle, and busyness of the holidays? Or is it more like there's never enough time to really stop and just BE in the moment? Are you rushing from work to shopping to your kid's play? Are you working at a hectic pace over a meal for 2 days knowing it'll be eaten and over in 15 minutes? How can you stop and live in EACH important moment during this holiday season? Here's a few ideas, and I challenge you to start some of them TODAY:

1.  CHOOSE the most important moments you think you want to make happen. Will you choose to spend time with a particular relative or friend? Will you arrange a block of time for your family to enjoy one event together? By saying YES to that which is most important to you, you can feel free to say NO to the unimportant things without guilt or obligation. It's your time. You choose how to spend it.

2.  MAKE any projects you've got planned, but make it during a specific time you've set aside for it. People think making gifts is fun, and it can be, but not if it's shoved rapidly between dozens of other things, rushed and done poorly. Schedule blocks of time in your schedule now so that as the holidays approach, you've already got the time-consuming, important, creative things done.

3.  INVITE people to do things with you. Get them on your schedule now too. Plan time to see those people you know you won't see over the holidays. Maybe plan a girls/guys night out with your favorite coworkers or friends. Plan a lunch or dinner with a relative who won't be around or able to come to see you during the holiday special days/events.

4.  LIST the moments you want to capture in pictures. Are there things that you never remember to capture year after year? Maybe kids decorating the tree? Picking a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch? The Thanksgiving meal on the table with everyone around BEFORE everyone starts eating? The gifts under the lit tree the night before Christmas? The special passed down recipes with a photo of the finished product? Think about these things and list them somewhere you'll remember to capture them this year.

5.  TIME FOR YOU. This is especially important if you're an introvert. Plan some time to just be alone, or at home away from everything. Think of when you'll need a night off. Put it in your schedule so if people ask you to go to things you really don't want to attend, you can tell them you already have an appointment that night (with yourself). Take time to breathe. Time to maybe just sit home enjoying music, candles, a book, or a favorite movie with your favorite beverage. Don't feel guilty. Living simply means taking time to do less - and it's far more rewarding than you'd think.

Start today planning so that the holidays don't sneak up quickly and attack your world. Be at peace this holiday season.

     

Living Simply October Challenge: Day 4 - material gifts

     As much as people will say the holidays aren't about gift giving, we all know that's still the expectation around us. Maybe a percentage of us are coming to the realization that stuff won't make you happy, but the majority of people just aren't there yet - and may never be - so let's talk a bit more on gifts today. (We'll switch up the topics tomorrow.)

     I read a quote yesterday that was in the book Everything that Remains by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus, aka The Minimalists. I don't know if I have it exactly right, forgive me if it's off a bit, but I believe it said,

"Everyone is selling what everyone can't buy."  

     Think about what commercials look like in the last few months of the year...What do they look like compared to the rest of the year? Have you ever though about it? During the holidays is when you see ads for the most ridiculous, wasteful, unnecessary gifts companies want you to buy. Remember back when the big seller for Christmas was a singing, wiggling, bass fish to mount on the living room wall? I think it was called Big Mouth Billy Bass. MILLIONS were sold. Do you think it would've sold if advertised around say, mid-February? or early August? No. It sold mostly around Christmas and Father's Day. What about the pet rock that sold for $3.95 in 1974? They sold 1.5 million in just 6 months! Then it suddenly just died out. Remember Billy Bob teeth? fake "redneck" teeth, big spaces, stained, fake teeth? They sold into the tens of millions of dollars and today can be found in 95% of countries across the globe according to articles online. Are these gifts worthy of the "meaning of the holidays" or do people just get caught up in spending, regardless of the poor quality, junk value of cheap fads? I think it's the latter.

     If you're going to give gifts this year, and you are working towards a more intentional, simple, minimalistic lifestyle, then put thought behind what you give, and don't be shy in telling others that you're NOT interested in frivolous, meaningless gifts like those mentioned above. Don't let others waste their money, and don't waste your own, on things that will quickly be thrown out, or stored in some dusty garage or attic never to be seen again until the owners pass away - leaving their children to wonder why the hell they kept junk like that all those years. 

     Be honest with people. Let them know the new path you're on. Let them know that in place of some "expected" gift, you'd rather have time with them (to grab a meal, or a movie, or a project or class together). If they insist they're buying you a gift (like a parent, spouse, kids, etc) then ask for experience or consumable gifts like mentioned in yesterday's blog post. Don't fall victim to the advertising gimmicks. Don't get caught up in the fake hype of holiday advertisers. Be smart with your money, and do others a favor helping them reign in their own finances a little bit. 

The stuff you buy will never make you happy, it's a never-ending cycle. People are seeking fulfillment but material junk will never fill that hole in your life. 

Living Simply October Challenge: Day 3 - Gift ideas

     Christmas doesn't need to be a time of excessive spending or accumulating piles of "stuff".  For those of you who aren't quite to attempt a 100% gift-free holiday season, here's a few ideas that can work your family in the right direction.

1.  For material gifts, why not give things you know your family & friends would buy for themselves or need? How about a new planner? a 2018 calendar? (Make one online using photos specific to them to personalize it.) a subscription to their favorite magazine? books?

2.  Homemade gifts (thousands of ideas on line, especially on websites like www.pinterest.com): artwork if you're creative, bath salts/scrubs, flavored cooking oils, homemade limoncello or other alcoholic drinks, "kits" - like cookie in a jar, s'mores, soup mix, chili mix, cake mix, cookies, fudge, etc. Again, google ideas like that, anything you knitted or crocheted,

3.  Gift Certificates or Cards:  restaurants, grocery stores, gas stations, massages, spa visits, retail stores, amazon, movie theaters, google play, itunes, Xbox, phone plans, bowling, online sites like Shutterfly so they can print photo albums and other items, Wine & Painting class, educational classes, cooking classes, dance classes, etc.

4.  Tickets:  Movies, Plays, Concerts, Speaking Engagements, Sports Events, Airfare, Admission to a favorite attraction

5.  Consumables:  Gift baskets (purchased or homemade) - wine, pasta & sauce, produce, gourmet, snacks, chocolate, choose an ethnic theme (like Italian, Mexican, Southwestern, etc.), card games, candy, cookies, flavored popcorn, etc.

6.  Other ideas:  Memberships to local attractions, personalized ceramic mugs/platters (see online ideas or visit places like As You Wish), decorate a photo frame, blow up and frame a picture you take that you know they'll love to hang in their home,

     I hope these ideas help you get started, especially since we're getting a good head start. Good luck!

Living Simply October Challenge: Day 2 - Declutter early

   

   

     Many people stress over the holidays because they're too busy, they have people coming to their home to celebrate, and they don't have enough time to get (or keep) their homes looking good. There always seems to be too many last minute scrambles to hide piles, remove trash, clear the tables and counters, and get stuff out of the corners. What if you started by decluttering in baby steps now so that when the holidays are here, you've already minimized the mess? Here's a few baby steps you can put into practice over the next week or so to get you going. Just do a little each day and before the holidays are here, the house will already look better.

1.  Every morning when you get up, do 5 minutes of cleaning - putting clean dishes away, putting in a load of laundry, or transferring one to the dryer, or folding clothes. You could use it to sweep a floor, or take out the trash. Just find 5 minutes to do something in the morning before you leave/start your day.

2.  Keep a box by the door (or back door). It's for things you want to donate. Every day, put an item in the box and keep it up for a week. If you have a family, get them to do it too, but try to start with things in the "public eye" first - where guests would see it. We can talk about decluttering closets and drawers another time, but if you've got some useless knick knacks around the house, or old blankets, books no one will ever read, shoes that have been sitting by the door for six months without being worn, donate them. Maybe you could keep this habit going right up to the holidays. The average home in America has over 300,000 items! Imagine how much cleaner your home would look if you got rid of 30 items each in the first month. Things would seem less cluttered, more intentional, and you'd spend less time cleaning.

3.  Menu Plan. This may be easier to do in the morning for each night, or just do a few days ahead, but if you can sit down on the weekend and plan a week, even better. Don't waste money. See what you have on hand FIRST. THEN plan what you can make without needing to buy a bunch of new ingredients. Planning even just one day ahead saves so much time when you get home at the end of a tiring day. You can just start right in knowing what to do instead of taking 45 minutes thinking about it and discussing it - then ordering out something that takes another half hour and costs you money you didn't need to spend. All you need is a base (rice, salad, quinoa, pasta, etc), pick a protein (meat, poultry, fish, vegan options), and add some nutrition with vegetables or even fruit (salad, broccoli, carrots, beets, mixed veggies, sliced apple, diced pears, applesauce). Saves time and money.

4.  Make a point to get dishes done before you go to bed, whether it's after dinner or half an hour before you want to go to bed. I know no one enjoys dishes after a long day, but you'll be so happy in the morning not to walk into a messy kitchen with dirty dishes piled up in the sink.

5.  Remove things from the main living area that are unnecessary (at least for the next 90 days through the holidays). These aren't things you'll donate, just things to remove for now to declutter guest space. It can be things like extra toss pillows and blankets you've been having to straighten every day, or decor that doesn't need to be on display for a few months, or piles of things you want but haven't figured out where to put them yet. Take a quick look around your space and pretend you have someone offering you $50 for every item you're willing to remove - what do you not really need to look at every day? Again, it's only temporary and you aren't giving it away. You're just making things more simple for the next few months.

We'll discuss more baby steps as the month goes on, but for now, just these few things can make a huge difference at the end of 30 days. Are you up to the challenge?

Living Simply October Challenge: Day 1 - Preparing for the holidays

   

   
     Finally, I'm back on a normal schedule again. I'm ready for this next 30 day challenge starting today! Every year the holidays tend to creep up on us, then we find ourselves all stressed out. Time flies faster than expected, we didn't get as much done as we'd hoped, and everything seems to be keeping us overwhelmed with busyness, right up to the last minute. This year, let's start the fall season right. Let's take a day to figure out what we want for/from/out of the holidays. I would say I'm a minimalist and working at it every day, but I'm not quite ready to say people should just have zero fun, no decorations, no planned family events and parties, let the kids learn how to live without expectations of Christmas (or whatever other holidays you celebrate), etc. I am however, willing to adapt my holidays to fit a more simple lifestyle. One without an excess of the unnecessary. Are you willing to go there with me for the next 30 days? Here's today's challenge:

Think about what you want the holidays to look like this year - and figure out if it could use a little more simplicity. 

1. Gather your family (household/roommates/extended family/whatever you want) and discuss what are everyone's favorite things about or parts of the holidays that you definitely want to stick to. Make a list so they can be incorporated into the holiday plans.

2.  Then discuss what things in the past everyone does NOT like. Maybe there's a family tradition that the kids have outgrown and they wish you'd stop doing it, lol. Perhaps a destination or cruise event would be better? As our kids got older, we decided Thanksgiving wouldn't be a big, loud, family thing anymore. Instead, we opt for a quiet, plated, candlelight dinner before those last 4 weeks of craziness and crowded stores.

3.  Does anyone have any memories of the holidays at someone else's house and they did something your family could add or benefit from doing? Maybe something found on Pinterest or an article? Maybe a cookie swap or something new to try? Be creative. In our home, we do a Victorian tree every other year since I've spent a lifetime collecting Victorian ornaments, many that invoke memories for each of us. In the off years, we pick a theme - beach, Greek, Mexican, Scottish, Italian, Baseball, etc. We integrate the theme into our tree, menu, gift wrap colors, and decorations. Just don't go overboard buying a bunch of things you don't need - nothing that's just "stuff" or clutter. A few pieces that can be reused or remade into something else later on work just fine. Don't waste money.

4.  Have everyone come up with one food they'd like at Thanksgiving, Christmas, or whatever you'll be celebrating. Then everyone can have their favorite food(s) there and no one's spending hours on something no one likes nor wants.

5.  Decide how you feel about gift-giving. I really want to try to give non-material gifts whenever possible this year. Experiences like tickets, lessons, etc. are going to be remembered and used long after the "shiny new thing" becomes just clutter around the house, or stuck in a closet/garage somewhere. If you need ideas for this, check out previous posts on gift ideas. I know I've posted at least a few times about them during Minimalism and Living Simply challenges in July and August.

Once you've gotten the plans down, just be done for the day and enjoy each other's company. Share a meal, a dessert, or a drink. Don't stress over the plans you've listed out - just let them sit so you have time to think about them, make necessary changes, and in the end, you'll have a less-stressed more simple holiday season. Good luck!

Added Value: Now what?

   

     So, if you've begun to make the switch to minimalism, or living a more simple life, or even just finding ways to add value to your world, you may be asking, "Now what?!"  What is supposed to happen or what do you gain by this lifestyle change? In what ways is it supposed to be better than before you made the switch? Here's a few things I want to touch on today:

1.  When you aren't tied to your home's cleaning, dusting, yard work, piles of laundry, mounds of dirty dishes, stacks of unopened mail, etc, you free up time. I'm not saying you should stop cleaning and live in a pig sty, but if you have a capsule wardrobe, you don't own enough clothes to make piles on the floor anymore. If you don't hoard junk mail and stack unnecessary items on flat surfaces around your house, you don't have to find an hour to go through it all. If you don't own the typical 300,000 items most Americans do, there's minimal cleaning and dusting. Use that time to add value to your life by engaging in hobbies and your health. Begin to add time for walks or workouts, fresh air, hobbies, interests, educating yourself in whatever you've always wanted to learn.

2.  Happiness starts to creep in unexpectedly. The craving for all that you don't have fades. The "keeping up with the Jones'" feelings go away. You no longer care what other people wear, what they drive, where they vacation, what they buy, etc. You end up removing the monkey on your back that urges you to constantly "chase more" just to find out it never satisfies...NEVER. When all that passes away, what's left is a calm sense of being content. It's a very peaceful feeling, and over time, it turns to happiness on a regular basis.

3.  Space. When you declutter your home, your digital life, your relationships, and your thoughts, what's left is soothing, empty space - and that's okay. It's very freeing to have lots of empty space around instead of mounds of clutter. Space asks nothing of you or your time.

4.  Freedom. Why and how do you gain freedom? Because you aren't always worrying about losing all your "stuff". You don't worry about what if someone breaks in and steals your stuff. You let go of the stress trying to gain more stuff, and where to put it, and how to protect it, and how best to insure it, and how to keep it from leaving/going away. Your mind is freed. I only own about 35 pieces of clothing, not including underwear, socks, etc. If they all got ruined in a load of laundry (like someone spilled bleach into the washer full of clothes), I wouldn't panic. They don't represent years of hard work, hours and dollars spent accumulating them, one of a kind things I'll never be able to replace...seriously, everyday things should never be considered irreplaceable, with only the exception of old photos (which you can scan & save digitally now). Only people should be irreplaceable.

5.  Peace comes when you've learned to make time for it. Taking time you've gained for prayer, or meditation on higher things, or quieting your mind, or centering yourself, it all brings peace that you probably never knew when you were in the throws of chasing brand names, knick knacks, and stuff.

     Yes, it's worth it.

Added Value: Sept. 26th

     Hello Again! Well, we're back after quite the adventure, I've completed half my college homework, taken a quiz, and an exam. I got all A's so far. Today is the one last day to get everything else done before our son gets married 200 miles away in just 2 days - and I'm in school all day tomorrow. I'm feeling overwhelmed a little, but, because I've been living simply for a while now, I am learning how to stop - organize my thoughts - plan out a timeline to get the most important things done - delegate a few minor things that really need to be done but not by me, necessarily - and I'm taking time to breathe in between.

     So what take away points did I learn on my vacation that I can pass onto you to, to add value to your life too? Here's a few:

1.  Plans change, accept it - our cruise itinerary changed several times due to Hurricane Irma & Hurricane Maria. We barely left 12 hours before it hit the Dominican Republic. Flights got changed and delayed by hours. There were unmet expectations on board too. What I learned though, and hope to share is that it's okay if plans change. We may not get everything we hoped for or wanted (or paid for) but there's only 2 choices - Get angry and miss out on the good things going on around you, or accept it, recalculate the plan, roll with it, and find the stress leaving as quickly as it came. In our case, the interrupted plans were still better than no vacation, or being hit by the hurricane, or being stranded at sea for extra days and missing our son's wedding this week. Let it go.

2.  Many people who live on islands in the Caribbean or Bahamas live a TRUE simple life. Many Americans assume a small hut, no car, in the middle of nowhere, no typical jobs available means the residents live in abject poverty - but when you get to talking with the people there, you realize they love their life. They have time freedom. They work like farmers did - up with the sun, rest in the heat of the day, evening is for family, get to bed early so you can rise with the sun again. No harsh schedules to keep like we tend to do. They can barter with neighbors for things they need. They form Farmer's Market type of areas where produce, goods, and other things are exchanged. They have no dependence on money to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in mortgages, don't work themselves to an early grave just to drive a luxury branded car or walk around with a $500 purse. Think how ridiculous that seems to them. When you drive by what Americans see as their "poor village", everyone's happy, smiling, waving hello to the tourists on the buses riding by, they wear clothes that are clean and neat, their hair is done up, and they aren't starving considering their healthy weights. I don't expect everyone to stop what they're doing and live like this - but it truly is a life of simplicity.

3.  Talk to people wherever you go. We met more new people on that trip in one week than we have in a year! Many of them we ran into over and over again in different places and it was like seeing friends all week. We made friends with one couple in particular that made the trip 100% more fun that it would've been without them. They were from Indiana and we all hope to stay friends and plan to see each other again sometime. They were so much fun it was like we were traveling with a couple we've known forever. Amazing how much we had in common. We also met a guitarist from Nashville, and bartenders from Croatia, Serbia, and Mexico. People are people - get to know them - you will add loads of value to your life by including new people on occasion. Be willing to smile or shake a hand.

4.  Getting back on track can be hectic, but it can be done with reduced stress levels. As I mentioned before, take time to just stop - organize - plan - and breathe. You can't do everything all at once, and multitasking usually results in doing only a fair job at each thing. Instead, focus on just one important thing at a time and do your best. No point worrying over everything else because it won't change anything anyway. Focus. Relax. Breathe. Take time to sit quietly to calm your thoughts. Get fresh air for a few minutes if that's what will help. To add value to your life, stop trying to be a Superman or a Wonder Woman. Just be you. It'll be enough if you truly try to do a good job and take time to restore your self.

For your enjoyment, here's a few pictures from vacation:

Quick Update: Monday 9/25/17

   

     Hi Everyone, I'm home again. Heading to school today but I promise I will have a blog post tomorrow worthy of your time. Our trip was re-routed, we missed a Category 4 hurricane by just 12 hours, ended up far from where we planned, but it was beautiful, calm, and sunny - and we're safe. Sorry about not posting more but the internet on the ship was spotty at best. Can't wait to get back into my daily blogging and gearing up for another 30 day challenge in October. Stay tuned.

Added Value: Cultures

     Here I am, about 1/3 of the way through our 25th Anniversary cruise, looking out the window in the Dominican Republic. I hope being away a few days doesn't mean I lost my entire following. I promise when we get back next week, there'll be more daily blog posts and an October living simply/minimalist challenge. But today, I want to write about the different perceptions we all have regarding other cultures. Learning to see things differently helps us to become better people and hopefully make the world a better place.

     In the airport, I started people-watching, one of my favorite things. I realized how I had very different perceptions of people than my fellow travelers. Here's what I saw & thought:

A woman disheveled, practically dragging her little preschooler, running through the terminal. What would you think? I pictured she was late, having a bad day or else she wouldn't be looking so stressed. She's probably a good Mom, though, since her little girl was still happy and smiling and taking in the wonder of an airport. What did I hear someone else say? Things regarding how "messy" she looked, and other comments about her appearances - hair, clothes all askew, shoe untied...nothing but outward appearance criticisms.

A couple sitting on the floor in the gate waiting area. They're about 50, he's thin and tall with long straight "rocker" hair. she's got a hairstyle that's a bit outdated, wearing jeans & a hockey t-shirt. I saw them and wondered where they're traveling together, are they going on vacation? or meeting up with family? or traveling for business and the other gets to come along? Someone else summed them up in one word...hippies. Come to find out, we ran into them at our hotel & they're on the ship with us. They're even from another part of our same town. He works for a major technology company and she gets up at 4 am to go to her job. They travel quite a bit, but definitely not hippies. More like yuppies.

Traveling from Amber Cove in the Dominican to a beach several coves over, taking a half hour ride through the countryside to get there, we pass people living in a few houses, but most of them don't. Most live in very meager homes, with corrugated metal roofs or thatched roofs made of palm tree fronds. Many have boards missing from the side of their little one and two room houses, no cars to be seen, cows, pigs, chickens, donkeys, and horses in fields as well as strolling down the sides of the streets. The locals tend to just sit on their little porches and wave as our open air bus drives by along the rutted road. No job to go to on a Monday. No places nearby to work anyway. I start wondering if they're simply living a peaceful life similar to an American farmer life - rise with the sun, rest in the shade during the heat of the day - taking care of animals and whatever they grow. Do they barter with neighbors for what they need? To they sell among themselves in a little farmer's market type of area? None of them look sad or pitiful. They're clean, their clothes are clean. Their hair is neat. They're smiling and friendly with nothing to gain by being that way to a passing bus of strangers they'll never see again. Yet, on our bus, all I hear Americans saying is how poor these people are, how they're living in such poverty, etc. Maybe that's true, but maybe that's just how their culture sees time, and material possessions, and needs rather than wants.

     In a few days, I'll be writing about Curacao and then Aruba, then I'll be home again. I'm having a great time meeting people who work on the ship from all over the world. Our favorites are Jennifer from Mexico City, Mexico, Vera from Croatia, and Dusan from Serbia. They are the nicest, funniest, sweetest people. It's so sad that although they tend to enjoy many American passengers (even becoming friends with some of them), they still have their horror stories about some that find out where they're from and attack the staff's homeland. They instigate trouble, goading them to start some stupid argument, for what purpose? Just because we're blessed with opportunities and freedom, that doesn't mean our humans are somehow superior to another country's humans. Compare laws, governments, opportunities, economies, job markets, but seriously, stop comparing people - because we're all individuals. I hate being lumped into the worst of the worst American groups you see making the news, and I bet you would too.

     Today, add value to your life by getting to know someone you didn't know before that's from somewhere else. You just may be pleasantly surprised to find you have more in common than you thought. Have a great week until we're both on here again.

Added Value: Traveling

   

     The trip was planned a year ago. The airfare was paid six months ago. The vacation was finalized three months ago. The scheduling & school adjustments were made 2 months ago. The Hurricane hit a week ago. Family moved in with us one day ago. And tomorrow we fly out for our long-awaited, very delayed 25th Anniversary trip to the Southern Caribbean. I will have my laptop and some kind of internet connection, but I just may miss a few days of blogging. Don't worry though, I will post travel photos, thoughts from people watching, cultural differences, and other important things while I'm gone. (And in October, I may have another 30 day challenge.)

     One of the unknowns about our trip is our first destination. We were supposed to stop at Grand Turk, and the itinerary says that hasn't changed. I know from what I saw on television that the island was hit very hard by a Category 5 about 8 or 9 days ago, so I don't know what to expect. Maybe they'll change our trip by the time we depart, or maybe they'll still go hoping to bring some aid and resources to the devastated island. That will definitely make for an interesting post once we've been there and left, with time to reflect, either way.

     When was the last time you traveled (even just regionally?) What did you notice that was different about the people where you went? What was the same? How would you have to adjust your life to live there? How would someone there have to adjust to live where you live?  It's questions like these that make us stop and think about others instead of just focusing on ourselves. Imagine if everyone began to really understand and get to know people that were different from themselves. That would change so much in the world. There would be understanding, grace, mercy, and even in bad scenarios, it would make people appreciate what they DO have. And that could make the world a better place.

     I believe traveling is such a great way to learn about people. We're all made up of different customs, values, beliefs, attitudes, and perspectives. Being able to see those differences first hand help shape us, make us more understanding that even when the differences are huge, in the end we're all still "people".

     I'd love to hear from you. If you could travel 1) Regionally where you live, 2) somewhere else in your country, and 3) globally - where would YOU want to go? What would you want to see? Let us know on here. Maybe together we can set new directions for our lives that includes traveling.

Added Value: You're Not Perfect

   

     This post may apply more to the overachievers out there, but here goes...you aren't perfect, so stop stressing over when you can't be. This is a message I had to constantly remind myself over the last 2 weeks. I've had more than my share of stressful things pop up unexpectedly that needed immediate attention. To keep it in perspective though, my state is not on fire, we're not dying from smoky polluted air, we didn't just go through a hurricane, and we're not being bombarded with earthquakes. That limits my whereabouts to only about 5 states, it seems. In the midst of my own "storms" I have much to appreciate and be thankful for every day. And so do you.

     Where did we get this belief that we're supposed to be perfect? invincible? able to put up with everything all at once? and do it all without letting others see the real pressure we're under? Maybe it comes from childhood. I know in my case, I never felt like I could do anything right. I was kind, creative, smart, never got in trouble in school, didn't stay out late, didn't do "bad things" or hang out with the wrong crowd. Yet somehow, it never seemed good enough to please those around me. Maybe that's where the perfectionism and OCD tendencies come from.

     For many, this attitude started in the workplace. If you made a mistake, maybe you had a boss, or worse, a coworker, who publicly ridiculed or remanded you for your mistake. Fear is a huge motivator. Perhaps it's a super highly competitive job. Maybe you're worried about downsizing and you don't want to be the person they cut. Or maybe you're in sales where even if you out-do everyone else, at the first of the new month, it's quickly forgotten and you have to do it all over again just to feel like you earned your reward of being salesman of the month. Such pressure for something so intangible. And often you're made to feel like if you went to another sales company, they'd treat you worse, the work would be harder, and you'd make less money. Got to love those manipulation tactics.

     Could it be that you never felt you measured up to the success of a parent or sibling? It's hard living in someone else's shadow. I know, I've watched a few loved ones deal with that their whole lives. No matter what they do, it just doesn't seem to come together for them and the other person in the family seems to have everything fall into place so easily - with so little effort. It's not fair. But that's just how it is. Eventually they get so demotivated they quit trying. They miss out on the joy they could have in their own life by chasing after a moment in the spotlight in someone else's life.

     Let me be the first to tell you (and remind myself) that it's okay to get stressed out temporarily. Life can be overwhelming. Don't expect things to always go easy just because you decided to live simply. There's still hurricanes threatening loved ones with deadly force, fires that destroy homes and a lifetime of memories, diseases that ravage bodies and end lives prematurely for those we care most about, and sometimes, there's just too many demands made that can physically be handled at one time. It's okay. You are only one person, human, filled with emotions, don't feel guilty for expressing it once in a while. It can actually help to have a momentary release of the pressure so you can take a deep breath and start again. What if right now you feel so overwhelmed you don't know what to do? Here's a few quick things to try:

1.   Take a deep breath.
2.   Walk away from the problem, the person, the phone, the phone, the social media platform,      your desk, whatever it is.
3.  Put on either some relaxing music, or some white noise, or relaxing noise like ocean waves or rain falling - whatever makes you feel more at peace.
4.  Sit down, close your eyes, and either pray - or meditate - or sit in silence so you can rebalance yourself, get centered. 
5.  Logically think through what needs to happen today, then prioritize the list. If it can wait until a later time and today is already too busy, move that off the list. 
6.   Handle the tasks that are the quickest to get them off your list so you'll see you have less to do.
7. Stay focused on one task at a time as much as possible. Too much multitasking often ends up with doing a bad job on everything. Instead, do your best on a few. 

     Most importantly - give yourself permission to be human, to make a few mistakes, to say no to what you truly can't handle. Just do your best. It's all anyone has permission to ask - anything beyond that is on them. You are enough. 

Added Value: Sit Down Dinner

   

     If you took time to sit down and have a quiet dinner without distractions with those you care about most, do you think that would change anything? Most people say, "Not really," but that's not entirely true. Granted, if you sit with someone you're fighting with then yes, dinner won't make things better. But what if you stopped chasing "stuff" and status and agreed to a quiet family dinner, maybe for the first time in weeks, or months? No cell phones, no television, no music (unless it's background relaxing instrumental music), so that everyone can just be calm for a half hour? Imagine taking the time to look across the table, smile, share your day, what's going on in your life, what you've got planned in the near future...Now, imagine LISTENING as the others share about THEIR day, what's going on in their world, what they have coming up. I believe that would be a very different experience from the family that grabs a plate, 2 pieces of pizza, and runs off to different rooms. It's different from going to a fast food place and everyone mindlessly eats as they stare at their cell phones, ignoring each other.

     One of the saddest things I see far too often is a wife all dressed up, her husband has taken her to dinner, but she feels so alone in the crowd because he's ignoring her and keeps scrolling on his phone. In that moment, what is he saying to her? I'll tell you what she's hearing, based on the myriads of conversations I've had with women just like that. He's saying, "I took you out so I'm off the hook, but whatever these mere acquaintances are doing is far more interesting to me than anything I think you'll say tonight. I'd rather see strangers arguing about politics than talk to my wife about things that really matter - like our marriage." I know guys aren't wired to be great conversationalists, but you know what? They know how to do it when they go on that first date. They know how to treat a lady when they're interested in her. Your relationship with your spouse/partner is more important than whatever is posted on Facebook or any other social media - in that moment. And ladies, if you're the one giving the cold shoulder, stop it. Be interested in him. Let him know he's more important to you than anything else in that moment.

     Parents - take back control of your home. I know people are busy, but even teenagers make scheduled plans to go out with friends, see particular movies, and meet up places. They can make a plan once a week or once a month to sit down to a family dinner. You're not "ruining their lives". Teach them that family is important. It's not a time to talk about their messy room, or their grades (unless they're good or the students wants to bring it up). It's time to ask about their life, interests, and situations where making good life choices will come in handy. It's not lecture time, but casual advice goes a long way if it's delivered in a meaningful, loving way. If you're fortunate enough to be a two-parent household, this is when you teach them to respect you both by respecting each other at the table. Be complimentary (not phony) during the meal. Set the example before someone else does.

     All it takes is the effort of a quiet meal where relationships are nurtured and grown. One half-hour is all you need, freed from cell phones and television, to impart what every human craves...significance. Let those you say you love the most know that you really do love them. Make time for them. Let them know they're more important than whatever else strangers in the world are doing. Plan one today for the next time it's convenient.

Added Value: Your Epitaph

     Epitaph: a short piece of text honoring a deceased person, generally written on a tombstone or plaque. What would you want written about your life? How would you sum it up in just a few words? What would you want your obituary to say after you're gone? How do you want to be remembered?
Here's a few quotes to think about...

      SO HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?