My 4??? birthday.

What an odd birthday I had today. I was so happy to have no set plans so I could sleep in, then at 6 am my body and mind were wide awake. Then I spent the morning just relaxing, but feeling anxious because I didn't want to "waste a perfectly good birthday". Tim was so wonderful. He was ready to go anywhere I wanted and do anything I asked. He was also the first to say Happy Birthday to me. That was a first. I planned on coloring eggs with the kids, or at least getting pictures of them doing it, around 2 pm, so I spent the morning boiling eggs and trying the oven baking method (which did NOT turn out well, sorry Pinterest). I left with Tim to check out a new grocery store I'd heard about, but it wasn't very exciting, so we got milk and came home. The kids, now teens, colored eggs together. Well, Logan & Jordan did. Adam kept saying he wanted to, but later. He had his girlfriend over, and she would've but she fell asleep watching a movie and Adam never got around to it. The other two had fun though, and it gave me the eggs I needed to make deviled eggs for Easter the next day. After taking Logan to work at Pizza Hut, Tim and I went out to enjoy my birthday dinner out together. We had originally planned on Pita Jungle in Chandler. I like Mediterranean food there and you can sit by the water, but for some reason, I really wanted to have steak, and I knew if it wasn't a good amount of food for the money, Tim wouldn't enjoy it as much. We happened to get a coupon recently for the Black Angus Steakhouse. We were able to order an appetizer to share, two entrees, and a shared dessert for under $40. He ordered the NY Strip steak and I got the filet mignon. I figured that would be the softest choice with my new temporary crown. It's only 6 ounces, more than enough. I got mashed potatoes with it and onion rings, but they were too big, messy, crumbly, and crispy, so I gave half to Tim. It was the most food I'd eaten in a long time. Living on soft foods for a month changes your appetite and portion sizes quite a bit! I actually enjoy eating less, I feel better, I don't get sleepy after eating and I have more energy. I noticed a while back I've never laid on my bed feeling sick after a meal and thought, "I always feel like this after eating healthy." I've made lots of small, healthier changes over the years, but I think I'm making better strides than ever. I didn't even have leftovers from the Easter baskets - you know - when you make sure everyone has the same number of candies and there's one or two left over in the bag. This year I just purchased 3 of everything so there wouldn't be any left over. Good thinking, less temptation. By the time my birthday was coming to a close, I felt much better. I'd spent it with my husband and children. That's important because I treasure little moments knowing they're almost grown and everything may be our "last time to do it together". I also wanted steak to be the first real meal I eat once I could eat normal foods again, mission accomplished, and it was better than I could've done at home, plus no dishes and cleanup. I felt rested, but not bored. I look forward to Easter tomorrow.

We're moving...finally!

After much fear over our soon to be rising costs where we are, we finally got the call from the community we have been waiting on. Since December, I've waited for a 3 bedroom unit to open up. We need the larger one for all the closet space since there's still 5 of us until Adam can move out, but we had resigned for sake of timing, that we would accept the smaller 3 bedroom until. I got a call yesterday morning stating a smaller 3 bedroom was available. I was thrilled! It was on the second floor (which makes it a bit safer, right?), and it faced a quiet, tree-lined street, and was right in front of the office/clubhouse/pool building. I told the manager I'd take it. Within about an hour, she called back to say she had just been informed that a larger 3 bedroom was also coming available! It was in the other side I didn't like as much, it was in the back corner, has no washer and dryer, and it's on the first floor. It's also about $100/month more - but it may have a new kitchen. She wasn't sure. If it doesn't, the rent will be less. Although I like everything about the smaller unit better, the boys will pick up more bedroom square footage, we have a pantry in the kitchen, more balcony space, and 2 or 3 additional closets for storage so we don't need to rent a storage unit. That's good, because I've always felt that if you needed one, you have too much stuff. If it's because your living area is too small, than in most cases, having all that stuff usually means your living beyond what you can afford. Anyway, we get to move in about 8 weeks. That gives me plenty of time to acquire boxes and a few bins, pack up everything, give away everything we don't need, and make sure everything here is clean, looking like-new, and in proper working order. I'm so excited about this. For less than our rental increase, here's what we'll be adding: a pool, a spa, a clubhouse, a gym, basketball courts, horseshoe pits, tennis courts, roller hockey rink, 24 hour security/safety officers, bikes at the office that you can borrow to go out locally without using your car and gas, barbecue grills, a guard at the gate in the evening, and because of the income restrictions, we know you have to earn a certain amount to afford living there - so that should keep out the troublemakers. There's on-site laundry (although we'll need a washer & dryer upon moving in with a family our size and the boys needing work uniforms to be cleaned several times during the week). Our living room is about to expand, and we'll have a covered patio with privacy from high walls, gorgeous green grass in every direction, and mountain views off the back of the community. The best part is that we're still very close to where we are now, it's only about 2 to 3 miles away, so we'll get to stay in familiar territory and it won't affect the boys getting to work hardly at all. Let the countdown begin!

Easing into "normal" again...

With just a few days left before I get fitted for my permanent crown, and only a week before my next birthday, and with 8 days til Easter, and a new month coming up, and spring taking off...I'm slowly easing back into a "normal" life. March is a great month here in Arizona. It's cold enough to still count as winter, but the sun in warmer, the breeze is here for a few weeks as the seasons change, and grass is growing again. My back yard is all green again - it's so different when the yard looks like a yard instead of just dirt and rocks. We had very soft, thick, tall clover until Logan landscaped the yard last weekend. He spent two hours trimming, mowing, edging, and cleaning up the yard, and the front lawn (well, it's almost a lawn again). It's warm enough to keep our back doors open almost all day, every day right now. I love fresh air and a soft breeze carrying through the house. I made a bunch of homemade cleaners last night and did our spring cleaning. I'm trying to get rid of unnecessary chemicals in our home environment. With three teenagers, that's not easy. They have so much stuff! Body sprays, specific colognes, tons of body washes, piles of hair products, and lots of cologne. Getting them on board may not be possible right now, but I'm doing what I can. It's also a great season for visiting the local Farmer's Markets. Honestly, the prices are a lot higher than I expect when I get there, so I see what's local and in season, then go buy it at our Sprouts (natural and organic) grocery store. Right now I can get organic avocados for under a buck, 3 pounds of organic apples for just $2.50, organic bananas for anywhere from .69/lb down to just .49/lb, and more. I'm trying to get outside more and more, too. I realize that soon it'll be too hot to walk outside for extended periods of time, so now is the time to do it. I'm walking at the zoo, visiting more outdoor events, and walking in parks. I feel stronger and healthier every day. Soon I'll be back to normal.

Insomnia? or stress?

Once again I find myself up in the middle of the night. Actually, I've been up every night for the past three days. It's getting harder to function all day. I often wonder if I'm up most of the night because I have insomnia, or if it's stress related. Let's see what the past 90 days have been like... December, I broke a tooth that shirred off down to the root like a glacier. I found a wonderful dentist who was willing to fix it before the office closed for Christmas week. My normal dentist, whom I don't really like anyway, refused to see me for weeks, so I was very blessed to have found this new one. I was a stranger to her, yet she was willing to allow us to make payments for the $500 expenses, so that's also a blessing. Also, Tim's unexpected bonus came the day before I needed to pay the first half, so although I was in her chair for 3 hours, and it was uncomfortable, many blessings were given to me as well. Christmas was good, low stress, and full of peaceful, family time with Tim home longer than usual. January, I found out I needed a "crown lengthening" procedure before the dentist could give me a permanent crown. Apparently, I have short teeth. Anyway, the way our insurance policy works is that we have to pay the $1000 up front, submit to MEDICAL first, get denied, then submit to dental with the rejection letter. We're just getting back on our feet, Tim's in a new job, he broke a crown in the fall we hadn't paid off yet, and my temporary crown meant for two weeks would now have to last two months. That's stressful. We decided to apply for a credit card (that will live in the safe, but we'll have it for emergency medical/dental procedures) because there was no other way to save that much in less than 6 months. We were fortunate enough to get accepted, but it still took a month from application to receiving the card. Stressful. February, the temporary fell off. Not so bad, but the dental assistant didn't want it to fall off again. Since the oral surgeon was booked until almost 4 weeks later, she hollowed it out and pushed it down hard, aggravating a nerve. It was so thinned out that it blew out the back quarter from the pressure just 48 hours later. The office didn't want me to come in for a new one. It now didn't fit, was bulky, had an edge aggravating both my cheek and my tongue, and was thin like a contact lens, so it was pretty loose. I finally got my appointment for the crown lengthening surgery. It was twice what I was told it would be. Both sides of the gums had to be done, four incisions, 8 stitches, and 4 weeks of gum healing before I can go back to the dentist (and have to deal with that loose, broken temporary crown in the meantime). I'd say that's stress-related issues. I did find the blessing in the situation, though. My friends prayed for me before the procedure. I ended up with better than expected results and fast healing. Also, my sister and brother in law came in just a few days later to take my mind off the situation. We had a great time. That first week, I had a "cold pack" on the surgical site, which looked like silly putty on both sides of the gum. That helped that crown feel more normal and even, and the pack helped hold it on. I slept great for a week. March, I had my one week checkup where the cold pack gets removed. Now that the tooth is virtually "taller", the temporary crown is even worse. It's like a large mushroom cap, barely balancing on a taller stem. It's boxy, broken, and has me VERY stressed out! If it falls out, the dentist can't really touch the gums yet to put it back on. The oral surgeon can't really do anything else for it since it was made too thin and it's broken. So for the next 2 1/2 weeks, I'm stressed, sore, and up at night worrying about losing it. I'm not really finding the blessing in this one. So although I've had insomnia for my whole life, I still feel that maybe this time, it really is the stress. I've tried relaxation techniques, peaceful bedtime routines, wearing myself out during the day, lots of chamomile tea, over the counter sleep aids of various kinds, natural melatonin, and nothing seems to be working. Any ideas? I'm tired!

Jordan's sewing class

Jordan is so shy, scared to death of people, but by some strange miracle, she agreed to learn how to sew, one on one, with a friend of mine she barely knew. She's had about 7 or 8 classes so far. She's already made a small tote bag, a pair of pants (yes, a real pair of wearable pants!), a pillow made 18 squares sewn together, and today she's working on making two window valance curtains. Pretty amazing if you ask me. I know it can be a little intimidating being my daughter. I've an extrovert, very friendly, transparent, and willing to step up when a need arises. Very little scares me enough to stop me. I teach students, scrapbook classes, coupon classes, and anything else people ask me to do. I play drums (casually) when my kit isn't broken. I enjoy cooking for a crowd and entertaining. I write, can learn anything given enough time and some brief instruction, and I love people. Jordan, on the other hand, is an extreme introvert, not too friendly, private, quiet, afraid to be noticed, hates crowds, doesn't like to speak up in a class, and won't show off any of her talents to the public. Finding something she could do that would be "just her thing" wasn't easy. She enjoys baking, but that's not very healthy...how can it be, it involves white flour, white sugar, and shortening! I tried to persuade Jordan into baking using healthier ingredients and her attitude was, "Why bother?" Then she mentioned she'd like to be in fashion design, but didn't know how to do that without having to deal with the public. That got me thinking...sewing would be along those same lines, but she could do it in private! Come to find out, she DID have a big interest in learning how to sew! And she's great at it. We bought her a sewing machine for Christmas. It was a total surprise to her. She figured there wouldn't be enough money for one plus gifts for her brothers. You should've seen her almost in tears when we surprised her with it! Anyway, now she brings it to my friend's house to sew. She even made a pillow for her bed out of an old pair of pajama pants! It came out pretty good for a first attempt. The down side is that every week Tim asks her to sew some new project that she's never done (take old jeans and turn them into purses she can sell, reupholstering our kitchen chairs, etc). I don't want that to take the "fun" out of it for her. Once she gets down the basic techniques, she can work on her projects more and more at home, just calling her teacher for quick questions and advice. I think she's working on making a shirt as one of her next projects. After that, we'll have her work from home 2 or 3 weeks, and just come to class once a month. I'm really proud of Jordan. She can do something I can't do - and that makes me really happy.

This cough thing...

So I have this cough thing... For the past 18 years I've struggled with an over active immune system problem. It kept my immune system (both primary and backup systems) working round the clock. The good part of that was that for 18 years, I couldn't catch a cold. No, seriously. I could be around anyone with anything and never caught it. Not sure if I was a carrier or not, but I never got sick - no sniffles, sneezing, coughing, flu, nothing. I've spent the past 5 years or so working on normalizing my system through nutrition and prevention. It started with a high antioxidant health beverage called Monavie. I, like most people, was not eating 8 to 10 servings of natural fruit and vegetables every day. Do you know what happens when we don't eat like that? Our body doesn't have the building blocks it needs to repair and heal itself from life's attacks. My body slowly began to heal. I noticed the migraines were the first to leave, followed by the chronic fatigue bouts. Next I noticed my hair, skin, and nails looked better, my skin was better, and I had less issues with proteins (I was even allergic to too many proteins for years, long story). Anyway, as I began healing, I started making other life changes. I add more exercise now than I did in my 30s. I give myself permission to take naps when I didn't sleep the night before. I buy WAY more fruits and vegetables now, in fact, I eat a diet that's got to be at least 75% vegetarian. That I didn't plan, it just turns out that way. I also buy organic when possible, and don't keep things like chips, soda, cookies, and ice cream in the house. I make desserts and sweets "something you go get". If I get a craving for say, Oreos, at 9 at night, I'm NOT getting dressed, going out in the dark, parking in a dark parking lot, just to go get cookies. If they were already in the house, I'd eat more than I should, I'm sure. Anyway, back to this cough thing... A few months ago I had a total set of blood work done. I have brought myself to the exact center of the normal range in everything! That includes good/bad cholesterol, blood pressure, blood sugar, hormones, everything! But know what else that means? Now I can get sick! My son stayed at a friend's house for the weekend, then found out his friend had been sick all week. He brought the germs home and my daughter caught them, then so did I. Not knowing I could get sick again, and not realizing my son was already incubating this cough thing, I let him sleep in my queen bed while I was out of town with Tim for the night. That did it. I was sick, although the cough hadn't kicked in yet. Just tired, sore throat, and stuffiness. I took care of my sick daughter, who got the worst of it, for weeks. About a week ago, I too had developed This Cough Thing. At first I was kind of happy about being well enough that I could get sick, but that wore off after a few days without a voice. Now the past 3 or 4 days have been spent with 2 and 3 hour coughing fits, less sleep, and whenever I do anything, I feel winded, like when I was younger and had asthma issues. When I try to take a deep breath, I cough again for another hour. It's that unproductive, dry cough. Ugh! I've tried over the counter medicines, home remedies, teas, garlic, cinnamon, honey, you name it! I guess I'll just have to deal with this cough thing as long as it takes. There's no other symptoms now, it's not in my chest, I'm not wheezing, it's just a cough. But I guess it'll be easier to deal with it if I just remember that I'm "well" enough to get sick - and that's something to be thankful for, isn't it?

Reconnecting

Yesterday was a day of "reconnecting" with my oldest son. He lives in the house with us, but with everyone's busy schedules, sometimes we don't get much time to really talk and get to know each other better. He'll be 19 in another week, so he's in a period of rapid growth and maturity. Yesterday I was feeling tired and sick due to an on-going dental issue that's taking 10 times longer to fix than it should. (Don't you just love dealing with insurance companies?) Anyway, I was in the kitchen and he walked in. We needed to take some photos to submit for something and time was running out. I asked him if now was a good time to go do that. I planned on heading to the park on the next street as our background, but he chose a different spot. It gave us time to talk and walk together as we followed the path along the town lake (canal) looking for photogenic locations. After that I offered to drive to a larger park we hadn't been to in years. It would be the perfect place. We drove to the park, talking about more and more important topics as the day progressed. When we arrived at the park he was getting pretty deep with life objectives. It's amazing to me to see how much he's grown in the last 3 years. He went from a selfish, materialistic, immature teenager into a respectful young man with wisdom and convictions. It makes me really proud to listen to him as he invites me to see the world through his eyes. He has managed to see his own generation through a much more mature perspective. He often talks about how those in the 18 to 25 age group have no life skills, have been handed everything and now don't know how to make good decisions, whether they are financial decisions, relationship decisions, or even just making good choices. Yesterday the topic was how much he appreciates all we've done for him, and he understands the sacrifices that were made for something better, but he's been watching us. He said he doesn't want to end up like many adults who are in their 40s and find themselves victims of circumstances. He's seen his father change jobs often, he's known what it's like when we have no income for extended periods of time, he's shared in the suffering of the consequences of losing our home and having to quit our jobs to move to the middle of nowhere. What it's taught him has been amazing. He has a very hard work ethic that he inherited from his father, and for that he's thankful. He also has learned the importance of being prepared. He is the best money saver I know. He's very disciplined in having an "Emergency Fund" and savings cushion, more than most adults. He values the struggles we've had to endure because he recognizes the lessons to be found within them. It's helped him to see others' mistakes that will lead down a bad path later on. One of the most profound things he said was that he sees too many parents treating their children as if they were pets. They swear, smoke, and continue their bad habits in front of their young children, and instead of understanding they're raising a child they focus on teaching it tricks that are "cute", funny sayings, and dress them up in embarrassing outfits to take funny pictures. He commented how a young adult like himself should learn to watch their language, behavior, and actions now so that when the time comes to have kids, they will already be a good example for them. It really upsets him to see friends his age with kids already who either don't care enough to change, or try to change after the baby comes, so they slip up constantly. When we got home, we took more casual pictures just to have them. I don't think he had any idea how happy it made me, a scrapbooking picture-taker, who's been starved of her first-born's photos for years now, to be able to take 50+ pictures all at once, showing many sides of him. We even ended the day throwing a football back and forth. He had no idea I can throw a pretty good spiral and catch anything that comes near me. It was one of my best days in a long time - reconnecting with my oldest, first-born son, who's now a man. Here's some of the many pictures we took:

Settling into 2013

Is the middle of January a little too late to "settle into" a new year? I don't think so. I think there's a period of adjustment that had to take place for me. I'm still doing the single-parent thing while my husband's all over the country driving. I have 3 teenagers who all have unique personalities, interests, and activities that somehow always tend to involve my time, gas, and vehicle. I now work 3 to 6 days a week doing Mystery Shops. I put at least a few hours every week into my couponing so I can save 50 to 100% on our groceries. I have bills and budgets to juggle. I've got a house to take care of and keep up with, and did I mention my three teenagers?! Then there's the homeschooling with two of them, Monday through Friday, from 8:30 AM until lunchtime. And the planning, and grading, and preparing for ACT testing, next year applications for city classes, college groundwork, scheduling, and all the reading I have to do to stay ahead of what they're doing. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I'm also starting up again in my bible study where I'm a student, and my second study where I'm the facilitator/teacher. No wonder I haven't slept in 2 weeks! The good news is, I took a different approach this year. Instead of jumping in, like usual, I decided to ease into my Mystery Shops, focus on only what's really important for school, update and streamline my coupons, and change a class for one of my kids to ease our schedule a bit every other week. Instead of handling all the above stuff at once, then feeling guilty about all the exercise I haven't had time to do - I'm easing into all of it. I add what I can to each day but I PRIORITIZE much better than I used to do. I make sure all the important things get done FIRST. Then I do all the "should do" things. After that, I do the "better get an early start on these" things. Last, and I do mean the very last things, I do the short bursts of recreational and rest things. I actually planned to go nowhere today so I could try to take a nap to make up for the 4 hours of sleep I've been getting. Normally I could do okay on 4 hours, but they aren't in a row. I'm building in things like a "field trip" to the zoo so I can get in a couple of miles on walking in the nicer weather. I don't have time for Facebook games like I did when we lived in isolation. And I'm perfectly okay with that. I don't really miss it. I play now and then while I'm waiting on something, or grabbing a snack where I actually sit down for a few minutes. Nothing more than that. By the end of this month, I believe I will have accomplished many of the things I was hoping to do. I've already got a pretty good start. No more guilt over all the things others say I should be doing. Just making sure what's most important gets done first. The rest I simply let go of. If it's still important tomorrow, it'll make that list. If it turns out to be less important than I originally thought, it gets reprioritized further down the list. And you know what? I'm happy.

Happy New Year - 2013!

Here we are at the start of a New Year again. Actually, it's already almost a full week into 2013, is that insane, or what?! This year holds so much, doesn't it? It holds promise, hope, and a better future if we choose to make it that way. I know we can't expect an entire year to be protected from the world, and no doubt, it'll have its own share of heartbreaks, health issues, tragedies, and challenges, as every year does, but standing here at the threshold of a new year you DO have some choices: Choose to be thankful. Appreciate what you have and be content instead of focusing on what you don't have. Choose to find joy. Don't focus on the mistakes of the past, but instead, focus on finding just one happy moment every day, or once a week, or at the very least, once a month. Choose to be a friend. Instead of going out looking for who your real friends are, go out seeking to be the best friend you can be and you'll find more friends than you expected. Choose to take control of your health in areas that are still in your control. Add some exercise now and then, cut out sugars and junkfoods when possible, change how much water you drink, etc. Small changes can add up to a lot. Take baby steps, then bigger steps, then giant leaps in the right directions, and you'll find yourself here next year looking back with fond memories of 2013. Good luck.

Christmas 2012

What a great Christmas we had this year! It was a bit hectic going into it. I broke a tooth pretty seriously about a week before, and it ended up costing us an unexpected $550 (fortunately, the new dentist let me pay half now and half later). Although many would have seen this as a negative, we got Tim's mileage bonus, which I didn't expect, just about a day before it happened. To me, the blessing was in receiving the bonus before we needed it so the dentist costs didn't have to come from our regular paycheck. Anyway, by Friday afternoon, I had a temporary crown on the tooth to get me through the holidays, and we were able to bring Tim home for the next 5 days. We picked him up and immediately got to work doing the "errand" things we do before he has to go back out on the road. We exchange his library books, stock up on food and supplies for the next 3 weeks in his truck, get his laundry washed, etc. Saturday was an amazing day. I stayed home that day while Tim volunteered, insisted really, to go out with each of the kids to actively participate in buying all of us gifts. We all realize that everything we bought already came from his hard work, self-sacrificing, and dedication - yet he didn't just want to have me do all the shopping and put his name on the tags. He went out on the last Saturday before Christmas, fighting the crowds, hitting the department stores, putting a lot of thought into what would be good gifts that would reflect his relationship with each of the kids, and me. He also wanted to be responsible for shopping for his parents, something in previous years he gladly turned over to me. He's such a wonderful person these days! We began the Christmas holiday on as we call it, "Christmas Adam", December 23rd. We went to church, then we basically spent it relaxing together. Monday was Christmas Eve, and Tim took Jordan out on a Daddy/Daughter date, while I finished up the baking. That night, we went to Christmas Eve service together as a family. This was a wonderful gift to me, having Adam there. At almost 19, he usually has to work, or attends a different church, or sometimes he sleeps in while we're at church since he works 3rd shift. This year, the 5 of us attended together. The service started out with the band playing a song by Trans Siberian Orchestra, then singing carols. The message was great, about how we don't have to "clean ourselves up first" to come to Jesus. He came while we were still sinners, and for no reason other than love, He came to take our place as a perfect sacrifice for our sins so we could be free and have eternal life with Him. Afterwards, it was great to see Adam interacting with people he hadn't seen in about 3 years or more. He was talkative, out-going, friendly, positive, respectful, and even hugged a few old friends. Such a change from even just a year ago when he was angry, depressed, and felt bad about himself and his future because he was out of work. When we were done visiting with friends there, we came home for a quiet evening together. Tim & I watched Sherlock on Netflix on our bed with Jordan. We've only seen a few episodes, but it's well-written, and we like a mystery where we can't guess the ending. Christmas morning was great. I'm a detailed planner, with a touch of OCD, so I had no real stress happening before we got started. I knew what to do, what to let go of, and what schedule to keep to have all the food ready on time. Adam had to be in bed around 1 o'clock so he could go in by 10 that night, so we had just 3 hours from the time Nana & Papa arrived, to do gifts, visit together, and enjoy a meal. The gifts were fun this year. No one spent an exorbitant amount of money (on purpose) but we all put a lot of thought into why we would get each gift for those we bought. Jordan got lots of stuff, but most of it was for her Wilton Cake Decorating classes. She completed Course 1 and will be taking Course 2 in January. She also began learning to sew (clothes, mostly) with a friend of mine, and we found a great deal on a Singer sewing machine for her. She wanted one, but after the dentist bills, she never expected to get it until maybe her birthday this summer. She was so thrilled. She can't wait to start making her own clothes. She thinks she may want to be a fashion designer someday, so learning what makes a good garment could be really important, not to mention how much she'll save making her own clothes in the meantime. Logan is almost 17 now and wanting to shed his little kid image once and for all. He asked for what he and I called "Old Man gifts". He got a Zippo lighter, 2 machetes, a pocket watch he's thrilled with, and his brother gifted him with one of his guitars. Adam is the hardest to shop for. He has expensive taste and he knows it, so he tells everyone they don't have to get him anything - which leaves us without too many ideas. We got him things important to him. He's a big Dr. Who fan, so we got him a Dr. Who mug and some tea. He got a gift card to go to the movies with a friend or a date, with enough left over for popcorn and drinks. He also got a gift card for a clothing store since we know he's moving away from teenage styles and band shirts to a more mature wardrobe, one piece at a time. In addition to those, he does plan on having his own place someday, so we got him a set of glasses and some flatware. For his birthday, maybe we'll find the square dishes he wants. Tim was easy to buy for this year. He needed jeans, some work supplies at Harbor Freight Tools, only needed one last movie to complete his XMen DVD collection, and we replaced a knife he lost on the road. Jordan was smart and got him a hair clipper set. He cuts his own to save money but his was broken and the guides falling off could cause serious "haircut malfunctions" like unwanted shaved stripes, or having to clip it all almost bald to cover up where a guide slipped and went too short. Everything was practical and well-received. My gifts are simple, but I never expect much. For almost 20 years, Tim would either not buy me anything claiming he had no time, or didn't know what I wanted, so he'd buy me nothing. If he did, he'd get me a cheap version of what I asked for, and it would usually break quickly. Christmas isn't about the gifts, and I really do get more out of watching others open things they need than putting the camera down to open something myself. The last few years, Tim's gotten better though. He's gotten me planner pages for the new year, practical things I needed for the kitchen, and last year, I had earned money for a laptop but had to use it to help with bills so he somehow managed to find me this one in time for Christmas last year. It's been wonderful, especially since our home computer had died in November. We were reduced to using the library ones to do what we needed to do, and that's not very safe and secure at all. This year, he went in with Adam to get me a gift I never expected him to buy! I had recently become a Mystery Shopper and often the job requires photos, either of the building's cleanliness, or the presentation of the food, or even of an apartment complex I'm evaluating. My camera is so used that it's being held closed with tape, it's big and bulky, it's a huge paperweight in my purse, and it's not very discreet at all on a shop. Tim and Adam knew there was a new camera that just came out, a Nikon Coolpix S01. I've had my eye on it for about a month or so, planning to earn the money around Feb/Mar from my Mystery Shops to get it. It's only about 2" x 3" x .7" deep. It takes 10 megapixel photos and it only weighs about 3.4 ounces! Perfect for discreet mystery shops. The two went in together and got it for me! I loved the prayer shawl Tim's mom had crocheted for me, the canned goodies her and Tim's father brought us, the much-needed new bakeware set from Logan, the beautiful "Mother" plate from Jordan, along with a personal picture she hand-drew for me, and the gift cards my sisters sent - I appreciate all that, but this will help me be able to accept better jobs with more confidence. That helps our family earn more, save more, buy a house instead of having to rent, getting a car before our van breaks or dies. It will help me earn more money not for the sake of stuff, but to keep us out of debt, and to be able to provide for our family. After all the gifts were opened, we ate our family dinner: Rosemary roasted lamb, a peppercorn crusted pork tenderloin roast, gravy, potatoes with Rosemary, garlic and olive oil, peas, corn, garlic cheddar scones, green bean casserole, and too many desserts to mention. Then we wound down watching the newest Batman movie while Adam went to bed to rest before work. We had a great, relaxing, fun visit with my in-laws and with each other. I've had many reasons to have bad, even lonely Christmases in the past, but this year was one of the best. I'm so thankful and grateful for all we've been given and I don't take any of it for granted - especially my family. Merry Christmas to you, and Happy 2013!

Christmas Adam

A few years ago, our oldest, Adam, came to me and said, "Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Do you know what that makes today?...Christmas Adam!" It was unexpected and funny, and now it's kind of stuck. If Christmas Eve feels like a 2nd holiday beside Christmas, then Christmas Adam makes us feel like it's a 3 day holiday now. We picked up Tim at work on Friday afternoon and we have him through the morning of the 26th, so it's a bit longer than usual, but with holidays in there, it'll fly by so fast! We did all the "have to do" things, return his library audio books, stock up on truck meals and supplies, do all his laundry, etc. Tim even made a point to spend all day yesterday - the last Saturday before Christmas, mind you - shopping for everyone. Traditionally over the past 20 years, he makes the money, I do the Christmas shopping, and he's really only had to shop for me, and maybe his father (he's hard to get gifts for and Tim knows what he has and can use better than I do). This year, Tim wanted to be an active participant in the kids, so he went shopping when he got home. He had a part in getting something for each of the kids, and me too, I'm told. It will be an interesting Christmas. I think we got each of the kids stuff they wanted. Last year was 3 gifts each that they absolutely needed. Not too much "fun" but very appreciated by them. This year, we got gifts that would be a little more fun. They've been through a lot with us over the past few years, and although we didn't really get anything frivolous, at least it's not a Christmas getting boring clothes and shoes. Today we'll go to church, then come home and I'll be baking zucchini bread, cheesecake bars, and cookies for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Tomorrow, I'll be cleaning the house so that Christmas Day can be relaxing. I hope to be done enough baking that I can bring the neighbors a treat. Tomorrow night, we'll finish up by going to church for the Christmas Eve service. Adam, who normally either works, skips church to rest up, or attends a different church, will be joining us. We haven't gone to church with him since before we moved 8 months ago. That will make me happy! Christmas morning we won't have to get up early since we have no little kids anymore, but we'll probably be up by around 9. Between 10 and 10:30, Tim's parents will be joining us. They're down here this week staying with the Burkes, but they'll be here for Christmas morning. (That reminds me, I better bake something for them too!) We'll be able to open all our gifts, then rummage through our stockings, take some time to relax and visit, then we'll have a nice dinner together - the 7 of us. Without our kitchen bench, it's a bit difficult to feed us all around the table. We'll have to have the 3 teens at the bar and us 4 at the table. It'll be a bit strange, but we only own 4 chairs, 1 low folding chair, and 3 high bar stools. Not sure how else to do it. Anyway, at least we're together. The plan is to have lamb, gravy, potatoes cubed and baked with Rosemary, Garlic, and Olive Oil, stuffing, cranberry sauce, garlic cheddar biscuits, green bean casserole, peas, and corn. For dessert, we'll have pumpkin pie, pistachio pudding pie (Jordan's idea), cheesecake bars, cookies, and zucchini bread. After Tim's parents leave, we'll spend the rest of the evening relaxing, enjoying Tim's last night home til mid-January, probably watching movies together (except Adam who has to sleep in the afternoon and early evening to go into work at midnight). This Christmas will definitely be very different from last year, which was actually very nice, but we have so much to be thankful for now. I think the warm feeling will be even better and stronger. I can't wait to start today - maybe that's why I was up at 6 am?

Our return to the Phoenix Zoo

Something we've wanted to do since we moved back here in April was to visit the Phoenix Zoo. Our kids have practically grown up there. Every year in the valley we would buy a yearly pass for us, then we could go there anytime we wanted, free of charge. The membership pays for itself after the 2nd visit. There were quite a few new improvements for 2012, their 50th Anniversary. The entire entryway has been redone, there's new animals, some of the animal locations have changed, they've added some new features like a huge slide for the kids, and the whole place looks better landscaped than it was a few years ago. Here's a few pictures of just a few things we saw, bears, jaguars, cheetahs, flamingos, golden eagles, giant tortoises, pelicans, squirrel monkeys, otters, and more! I love the flowers there too!

(sorry, I got 2 of the same one in there and don't know how to pull out just that one, but look at his face!)

After almost 3 hours, there's still more that we didn't see...next time!

Heading into December

It's so incredible to think we're already heading into December. This whole year has flown by, so many changes! We've moved from a village in the mountains back to the Valley of the Sun, our family has jobs again, we've been living in a nice home in a beautiful neighborhood for 7 months already, the list goes on and on. What will December hold? How will we finish up the year? Our Christmas tree is up and I've barely begun shopping for gifts. We're contemplating moving before our April lease is up, if the opportunity is right - but I just don't know what we should do for sure yet. The best part of all this is that I am very optimistic about not only December, but also what the New Year will hold. I love January 1st. It's a great time to clear the slate and start fresh, with new goals, and to create better habits, and to let go of past mistakes. It's such a wonderful time of "newness". For now, I'll look forward to spending more time outside while our weather is at its best. I've got plans for baking (for Christmas gifts). And in just about a week, my Honey will be home for a few days again! He's been gone for weeks! I'm really anticipating a great month ahead of calmness, getting together with friends, closing out another year, and looking forward to 2013.

Starting the Day with a Victory

I started a new routine recently. Since I've done it five times now, I feel safe calling it a routine (at least for now). I have a habit of waking up a few minutes before 5 a.m. and I'm not sure why. Maybe a neighbor leaves for work at that time and I hear a car door? Maybe that's when traffic in the distance picks up? I'm not sure, but I know I'm up at almost exactly the same time every morning, about 4:57 a.m. I don't particularly like getting up that early. I'd rather be able to sleep until 6 or 7, but I guess I don't know how. So what can I do at that time of the morning that won't wake up the kids, that would help me start my day with a victory? I get up, straighten the blankets behind me (my husband's on the road so I've got my room to myself most of the time), turn on the lights, and get dressed to workout before I can change my mind. Then I pop my Zumba workout DVD into my laptop and get moving. Because Zumba is fun and energizing, I get just a few minutes into it and think, "Oh yeah, I actually LIKE doing this." Before too long, the workout is done, I'm breathing kind of heavy, and I hit the shower. There's something about the quietness of early morning that I do actually enjoy. Each day is a clean slate, a chance to learn from the previous days, and a chance to become better today. I sit on my bed with my Bible, pen, and a notebook and begin my quiet time of reading, studying, meditating on the Word, and praying for those I care most about. I know there's lots of ways to start a person's day, but for me, this allows me to start each day with a victory - a victory over laziness, victory over my health, victory over where my thoughts for the day will begin, and in my faith, I believe in victories in the lives around me because God does answer prayers. Sometimes the answer is "no", but many times it's a victory over illness, or struggles, or relationships, and for the many things I have been given, and have witnessed, I am truly thankful. What can you do tomorrow to start your own day with a victory?

It finally feels like fall!

It's hard to determine just when fall is if you live in a state that has warm winters and hotter-than-average summers, but I think we're finally there. We had a week where we never hit triple digits, that's the start of fall. Last week was in the low 90s - another good sign we're almost there. The next 10 days should be under 90 degrees for the high and the lows finally get down to the 50s. I think we can finally say fall is officially here. What changes happen around here? I can begin to pull out my lightest long sleeve shirts. It's a good thing when you get to expand your wardrobe, right? It also means the electric bill plummets because we switch from mostly air conditioning to mostly having the doors and windows open. It's a great time to do a house-wide cleaning project before the holidays. We begin rearranging the furniture for when we set up our Christmas tree. We donate all the old junk we've accumulated that we don't need anymore. We bring out the fall colors for our candles, tablecloths, and decor. Our menu changes quite a bit with the seasons as well. More of the recipes will include pumpkin, sweet potatoes, pomegranate, cranberries, and nutmeg. We start to look for more local, holiday events to attend, get closer to Logan's production week and play performances (in early to mid November), and Jordan will be finishing up her cake decorating classes. Adam is out in the full-time, working world, so his life won't change dramatically, but he'll be happier in the cooler weather, since his air conditioning doesn't work in the jeep. Tim will have a bit more difficulty at work, I would imagine. He started driving a flatbed in April, and never had to drive in the snow. I would think he'll run into a few states where it's snowing in the next 2 months or so before winter hits. Hopefully, he won't have to tarp out in the cold, the pouring rain, or drive in icy conditions. As for me, I know people get busy around the holidays, but for me, it's a happier time. It's when I get to cook more (since the kitchen's not so hot), which I absolutely LOVE to do. I get to try out new recipes. I love how the houses are decorated, and here in the southwest - fall is when our flowers and gardens are just getting started - so great local produce is on the way! Time to hit the Farmer's Markets! I always hated fall in New England. The colors are beautiful, yes, but it was a time of dying, bare trees, cold nights, bad weather, it gets dark by 5:00...here fall is a time of new life, new beginnings, and so much to look forward to for the next 6 to 7 months with our warm weather. I love it here.

Book Review: The Noticer by Andy Andrews

I just finished reading a great book called The Noticer by Andy Andrews. It's a great book about a man named Jones who seems to show up now and then in people's lives to bring them wisdom that will help them have a better life. One of the questions he asks in the book was, "What would others change about you if they could?". He explains that we are not to spend our lives pretending to be what others want us to be. The point is that if you want to be someone who lives a full life, that draws others to them, that others want to be around, then ask yourself what things others might want to change before they want to spend more time with you? Let's touch on just a few things: 1. Your speech. People have lots of negative people around them already. They don't need another one who always finds something wrong, or is a skeptic, or can't find the bright side of anything. Also, many people don't say anything when someone curses now and then, but if curses are the majority of the words you speak, maybe you should give that some thought. Those with success, large groups of friends, respect of their peers, and opportunities offered to them generally don't speak with words that tend to offend others. What type of person are you? What type of people are you trying to attract? Doesn't it make sense that if opportunity comes from people, then the more influential people you can attract, may bring more opportunities your way? 2. Your dress. I know more than anyone that this economy has hit some families really hard. There may not be money for designer clothes or the latest fashions, but consider this: what if you planned how you dressed? What if you made sure that whenever you left the house, what you had on was clean, wasn't full of wrinkles, fit well, and made you look and feel your best? Then those ripped, stained, or old clothes you can't get rid of could be worn on days off, when you're home, or around the house? Also, there are great bargains to be hunted down at department store clearance racks (especially the high end stores like Dillard's), thrift stores, and even at Salvation Army & Goodwill sales. Did you know, for example, that at Goodwill, every Thursday, all clothes with a particular tag color are just $1? That color tag will be 50% off all week, too. And they even run sales every few weeks where everything in the store is 50% off, regardless of tag color? Be creative, think outside of the box. You don't have to spend a lot to improve the way you dress. Think of it as a hunting expedition! 3. Your attitude. What do others think about your attitude? Are you loud and obnoxious? Do you tend to be arrogant? Do you try to play the tough guy/lady? Are you so quiet and shy that no one ever gets to really know you? Are you so indecisive that it's hard for people to make plans with you? Do you tend to only talk about yourself, never stopping to listen to the person you're with? Do you constantly interrupt others? Are you a very lazy person that declines every offer to try something new? Just imagine the opportunities that might come your way if you were a better listener, rather than always having to be the life of the party. What if you were open to trying new things with others? What if you were the first to offer a smile or handshake at the next social event? You just might find that new connection you need to better your situation, and find you made some great new friends in the process. So you see, the book isn't about making others happy, or becoming a doormat to others. It's about putting the best YOU forward, improving your quality of life, and taking a genuine interest in others. It's about sanding off the rough edges to create a more wonderful you. Take some time. Give it some thought. What can you do this week to make your quality of life better?

What's Been Holding You Back? Break Free this month!

So many of us have secret dreams, hopes, desires, and aspirations. Unfortunately, we often let other things hold us back from the happiness and success we could be achieving. What's holding you back?

Is it time? The number one answer to why people don't do what they really would like to do, is a lack of time. So what is your time being spent on? For many, it's juggling family, work, obligations, maybe caring for a sick or aging relative, and appointments. But what if you could take your next day off and really focus in on what's important? What if you decided in advance every week that your schedule would only be filled with the most valuable things? You'd have to keep your job, in most cases. Family is important, too. I know for some, making time to grow their faith is important too. But there's one category that gets overlooked that may be stopping many people...what about "down time"? What do you do with it? I know, at first, most would say they have NO downtime - but is that true? Most people who claim to have no time somehow manage to know what's going on every week on all their favorite shows. They watch shows like American Idol, Biggest Loser, Army Wives, 2 or 3 football games a week, not to mention that they've seen all the newest shows as they come out. What if instead of that hour or two was used on something you pre-decided was important to you? You'd have anywhere from 5 to 14 hours a week to work on it. It could be exercising, quality time doing something active and fun with family or friends, it could be spent writing that book, taking classes to learn something you've always wanted to do, or even just get more sleep to help you be more productive every day.

What if time isn't you're issue? Is it fear? Many people are afraid of risk, and in this unstable economy, that makes sense. The only problem is, if you never overcome your fears, you'll always hold yourself back from what could be your greatest adventure! What would you do if you didn't let fear hold you back? Would you meet someone new? Get to know your neighbors? Try to start a new business? Pursue investing? Resolve issues with a friend or relative in need of repair? Start a family? Change careers? Volunteer to help out a cause or group of people that are important to you? Life is short. Try to figure out some "baby steps" you can take towards overcoming those fears and living the life you've always wanted. It's time to put an end to your fears!

Is it a lack of money? For many, this is a real issue. Everyone is going as fast as they know how, some work more hours than they should be capable of, yet they just can't get to those important things. So what are some solutions to get you on your way to a better quality of life? Could you have a yard sale and get rid of the stuff in your house you don't really need? Would a part-time job or starting a low-risk, low cost home business be your answer? What about reigning in your spending? Most people have no idea what they spend a month on fast food, coffees, eating out, movies, impulse buys, and unplanned miscellaneous items they pick up while shopping for something else. Keep a record of every penny you spend for the next 30 or 60 days. Maybe there's a category you can cut that would free up the money you need that, over time, could help you realize some of those overdue but not forgotten dreams and desires.

Whatever is holding you back, let this month be your month to really break free! Take control of your destiny! Stop letting others and less important stuff keep you from experience a life filled with satisfaction, meaning, adventure, and purpose.

Keep your hopes and dreams alive! Good luck!

Making September Great

Today is the first day of September. It starts the last third of 2012. I always start the year with a set of goals and hopes for the year. Like most people, somewhere around mid-spring, many of those get forgotten, or circumstances changed, or life just got so busy that I got off track. Today is a gift. It's a chance to start again. A day to refocus on those forgotten goals for the year - there's still plenty of time to complete most of them. How about you?

Will you refocus on those health goals? If losing weight was on your list, there's still 4 whole months to do that. Even if all you saw was a single pound come off every week, you still have time to drop 17 pounds in 2012! That could lower your risks for so many health issues! Will you recommit to yourself?

What important project have you been putting off that could really make a difference at work, in your business, or around your home? 17 weeks is plenty of time to finish those undone projects, complete the follow through on your customers you've been putting off, do those home improvements that haven't gotten done, etc. Take some time this long weekend and plan out what one thing you can do that will help you start off 2013 better than if you hadn't done it. Begin with the end in mind. Decide what to get accomplished, and work a plan backwards, breaking it into smaller steps and you can be successful.

What relationships have been neglected due to busyness? Your relationship with God? Date night with your spouse? Time to relax and enjoy your children? A visit or conversation with an aging parent or grandparent that misses you? The faithful friend or sibling or relative that patiently waits and longs to spend time with you? Plan the time into your schedule. Life is short - don't wait.

Maybe there's a few things on your to-do list that have been neglected for so long, yet still adds a pang of guilt when you think about it? Put it in your schedule to work on it and get it done so you can get rid of that burden that's been weighing you down. Do it now so 2013 can begin with a free feeling of accomplishment instead of regret over things still undone.

Perhaps you're beginning a new season in your life? It's the start of fall, of a new school year, maybe a fiscal year, maybe a new time to qualify for something in the near future, or you'll be kicking off a new activity or job or group project? Take time this weekend to plan where you want it to go, what results you'd like to see out of it, and what steps you can take along the way to get there.

Whatever your plans, don't miss the opportunity to do great things in your world. There's still 17 weeks to go. Don't waste them. Make the most of them. Make your September great!

Is it Fall Yet?

Ever since we left New England to live in the Southwest, August has been a little difficult to get used to. Here, the kids are back in school at the beginning of the month, the worst of the heat is (usually) over, the pools and summer activities shut down by the end of the month, and regular, year-round activities and groups start up. Meanwhile, in August, the friends & family in New England are just getting used to being out of school (most have only been out about 4 weeks when August hits), they're going to the beach, taking vacations, and loving their warmest month.

I guess with September being just a week away, it's okay to be planning our fall season.

I plan to make this fall one of our most exciting in a long time. It'll take some cooperation on the part of others, but as far as it's up to me, plans are underway. I want to grow my business to where I qualify for a free Cruise by the end of the year. Wouldn't that be a great Christmas gift for my husband? We missed out on a special 20th Anniversary trip like we planned so we could move back to the city. This would be great.

I also want to make this a great high school year for both Logan and Jordan. He's in two plays with his drama group, he's been invited to try being in a youth band at a local church, and he's getting involved in a Youth Group with two of his friends that seem to be helping him really grow his faith. Jordan will begin sewing lessons with a friend of mine in September. I'm hoping she finds at least one other thing she can be excited about so she can look back on her teen years as a time of fun, a time of having lots of great adventures with new friends. We'll see how that works out.

I'll be a student in our church's Tuesday morning Women's Bible Study group again. I love this group and it's been very important to me for the entire 7 years we've lived here. Also, I'll be kicking off an evening Women's Life Group through church in September. I'm leading it, so I pray for guidance, wisdom, and discernment. I want to teach what THEY need, not what I feel like teaching.

This fall I hope Adam will be going from part-time to full-time work, and saving up for a car, college in January, and eventually - to get out on his own. If he was a student and had a job, and was a respectful "roommate" for Logan, then he can stay.

I also plan on really striving to save up and build our Emergency Fund (see DaveRamsey.com), get the vehicles' maintenance done, have a cash Christmas, and even put an extra month's rent aside for emergencies. Once the New Year starts, or we hit that new business level, whichever comes first, we can start a savings fund for a newer car and a down payment for a house.

I plan on being more active once the heat dies down a bit, too. I'm looking forward to walking around this great neighborhood we're in, spending a few school sessions at the nearby park, walking around the zoo, roller skating, ice skating, and basically, just getting outdoors more. Maybe I'll even have the time and energy to hike with Tim. He likes mountains, I'd prefer long trails. We'll see.

One last goal is to continue to lose weight. It may be coming off fairly slowly, but it IS coming off and it's staying off. I lost 20 lbs. about 2 years ago and it's still off. I hit a new low on the scale every month, and I'm wearing smaller and smaller clothes - so that's already going well. Maybe the extra physical activities will help speed that up a bit, too?

All I know is that this year will finish well. We'll get to spend holidays with friends, have lots of events to attend, make great, new friends, build a new business team in the area, and with a little help from above - be blessed by qualifying for a cruise by the end of the year.

What more could I hope for?

Prioritizing: Step 3

Now that I've got 8 basic categories, now I have to figure out how to put those things into my calendar in the hopes of a more productive, more important, quality of life. Here's my preliminary thoughts on how to do this:

Start with the "big rocks" first - the most important, purpose-driven things I'm responsible for must go into the schedule first. Then the "should do this" things will be worked in around them. Finally, Habit 7 will probably be used to fill in the empty spaces that are left. If there's a lot, great. If there's only a little, then at least the most important things will be targeting to be done first. Also, I start my week on Saturday and end it on Friday to coincide with my business' week to make it easier.

Saturday: School planning, Business planning, Deep cleaning the house, friends & family calls/Skype sessions, Zumba, update personal blog, scrapbooking when possible, movie on Netflix with Jordan

Sunday: Church, get papers for coupons, clip coupons, Zumba, update faith blog,

Monday: School, enter new coupons, update lists, prospects contacted,Zumba, business FB/Twitter postings

Tuesday: Bible Study, School, Logan's drama class, Dollar Theater night (when there's $ and a good movie we actually WANT to see)- or else something on Netflix with them, prospects follow-throughs,

Wednesday: School, grocery list & coupon matching,caught up on webinars & phone calls,Zumba, business FB & Twitter postings

Thursday: School, grocery shopping, bills paid,prospects contacted,(this week, mtg. @ 7pm), Zumba (when there's no evening meeting), business FB & Twitter postings, Update couponing blog,

Friday: School, finish up business week, prospects follow-throughs, coffee with friends, Zumba, library to exchange books for the upcoming week

In addition to these, there's my daily to-do lists. Every day will have routine cleaning, errands to run, eating right, drinking my water, getting those one-time tasks on and off my list, getting rest & enough sleep, etc.

I really think I'm getting there. Hope this is helping someone else get organized & prioritized too.