Journaling is something I've done for as long as I remember, although this past year or two I don't do it as often as I used to. Maybe that's because I now blog more regularly, and get my thoughts out as I go through a book called 642 Things to Write About by The San Francisco Writers' Grotto. I ordered it a while back when I decided to go back to college. I needed to practice writing, to better get my thoughts and emotions onto the page.
What kind of journals have I kept? Day to day ones, pregnancy diaries, notes I feel like remembering when reading my bible, sermon notes from church, notes for a fiction book someday (maybe), ideas for blogging, scrapbook journaling, and many others.
Where does my 20 min. of journaling lead me today? I'm thinking over something I wrote in my writing session. It asked me to write about someone who had to make the hardest decision of anyone I know. I had many people to pick from, but what kept coming to mind was my mother. I won't expose any of her private life here or anywhere else public, but I can tell you why I chose her.
My mother was given difficult circumstances. She had no mentor or coach growing up. She had to learn everything she did through trial and error, accepting all the natural consequences when she chose the wrong thing or way, and never giving herself enough credit when she made a good choice. She just chalked it up to coincidence or a one time fluke.
This made me think about my daughter, who's actually quite a bit like my mother. She's more afraid of herself than anyone around her. She doesn't sleep, has health issues that keep her from being her best (although my daughter can be stubborn about doing things to improve it, like seeing a doctor, or having a fear of needles that keeps her from getting blood/allergy tests). Both are smart. Both do make great choices sometimes. Both have trouble accepting what makes them beautiful, wonderful people...they want to help others, just in their own timing and way. They both are smart but have trouble acknowledging it. Both have come a long way from where they started but still expect they won't get through the next challenge in front of them. They both expect the worst so they aren't disappointed, instead of expecting the best and finding out "it" wasn't as bad as they thought it would be. They settle for that momentary happiness that "it didn't suck" instead of seeking true joy and contentment.
Then my journaling led me to think - What can I do to help them both? How can I add value to their lives? Isn't that why I was put here? To encourage others? (I realize that's not everyone's gifting or strength or talent, but I know for a fact that was what I was designed to do here on earth.) Maybe I can take some action steps to help them. Here's what I came up with:
1. I can purposely, intently look for every little thing they do right and encourage them. I can remind them that they did "it" and did it well, without being condescending or sound like I'm patronizing or babying them.
2. I can stand beside them as they go through challenges. Obviously I can't be there for every little thing, and my goal is for my daughter to leave the nest and be able to fly successfully on her own in the world. With that said, I can still be there to offer support, help, wisdom from experience, and advice as they maneuver new, difficult things in their lives. No one wants to face hard stuff scared and alone.
3. I can be the buffer for a few things. When something is going to be hard, I can be the in-between person to smooth some things, or help them organize what steps to take in which order, to make the process go easier. I can't do it for all things, but it can be as easy as going over a checklist of items she needs to bring to some department or company so they aren't turned away and have to waste time on a second trip because they didn't come prepared. I could put in a good word somewhere before she gets somewhere so the person they'll be meeting with has a good first impression.
4. I can be their companion to help them get healthier. I can either cook for them or teach them how to cook in new ways or using new foods to help them repair some damaged area of their health. I can share what I know about supplements, vitamins and herbs. I can be the "walking buddy" or workout partner so they can be more motivated to improve their help, one baby step at a time.
5. I can be their cheerleader. Everyone needs someone to encourage them, tell them how valuable they are, remind them why they're special to you, and maybe just give them a hug when they need one.
Journaling can be a great way to let out frustrations, document progress with goals, remind yourself what life is like during a particular season, but mostly I like journaling because it eventually brings me around to thinking about others, instead of myself, and how I can add value to their lives.
What will you journal about? Where will you start? When will you start? Leave a legacy. Have a great weekend.
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