Living Simply: Question 16

Life has been busy but I am back. I apologize to those working their way through our summer series. In the last 30 days, I have done 7 weeks worth of college classes in just 4 weeks, had a broken air conditioner, had a storm break an outside light, trouble with a garage door, had just 4 days with my husband who's gone 300 days a year for work, and I'm working my way through our college's Phi Theta Kappa research project and events. Add to that I'm trying to add swimming 2 days a week for my health. 

     

So back to our summer series - 

Question 16: What do you want to be able to do in a year that you cannot do now?

     Time goes by quickly. Before you know it, a decade (or more) has passed and you may not be where you thought you would be by now. Maybe you're thinking how fast the kids grew up and now they're adults. Maybe you are at that point that you are ready to make changes you could not make before when circumstances were different? So when you look back one year from today, what will you want to be able to say? Here's a list of a few things to get you thinking:

• Walk or run a 5K race
• Travel somewhere you've always wanted to see but never did
• Drop those 20 pounds (or is it 9 kilos?)
• Take that class you wanted to take
• Visit that friend or relative you miss
• Get a new job - or start your own business - or retire
• Commit to the relationship you know you'll never leave but was afraid to admit it
• Sell your home and downsize to free up time and money for better things
• Change your entire career to something you love
• Volunteer for something you believe in

     Whatever it is, work your plan backwards. Figure out where you want to be, break down what you need to do to get there into smaller steps. What do you need to get done each month to get there? What do you need to do in the next 30 days to start off in the right direction? Baby steps will get you there. The last thing you want is to look back next year and realize you are not any closer than you were a year ago. 

Good Luck! 

Living Simply: Question 15

Today we continue our summer series that discusses things to think about that will help you begin to build the simple life you always wanted.

Question 15 is this:  What do you dream of achieving one day?

     Is there a different life you've always thought about in the back of your mind? I bet when you were little and someone asked what you wanted to be when you grow up, you didn't tell them you wanted to be an employee working too many hours in a job you hate for less money than you can afford to live on. So what DO you want to do?

     Do you want to be in a quality relationship with someone? Married? Have kids? Then start by becoming the type of person someone else dreams of finding. Be your best as if your potential spouse is secretly watching you. Be honest. Take care of yourself. Be friendly. Don't be the one guy or woman that brings everyone around you down. If it's kids you want, but you've been holding off, let me let you in on a little secret...There's NEVER a best time to do it. If you want kids, and you're in a strong marriage, and you can provide a stable, loving home life for kids, than now is the time. If you can't have kids, then understand there are so many kids waiting to be adopted by a loving family. Consider that option. If you want to help kids in a big way but can't afford it right now, consider foster care. These kids need love and attention, and that can make all the difference. If you don't want kids...let's move on.

     Do you love your job enough that you would do it for free if they stopped paying you? If so, stay where you are, and be thankful you found fulfilling work you love. If not, what DO you want to do? Do you want to go back and finish a degree to open doors to a new career you always thought you would be good at? Do you want to open your own business? What about a bed and breakfast? Maybe you're one of those independent people that dream of homesteading, farming your own animals and gardens to be self-sustainable. Start planning how to make that happen, what the costs would be, where you would do it, what education you should acquire first...

     Have you always wanted to travel but it's too expensive? Start small. Take day trips, then weekends, then try a few days someplace close enough to drive to...then you can start planning for long-distance trips, cruises, flying to another country, etc. If you are involved in a church, maybe there are missionary trips that you can go on to see the world while helping others live a better life.

     Whatever it is, start with intentional baby steps in that direction. You can do what you believe you can do - just put in the work and prepare. When timing is right - make the jump.
   

Living Simply: Question 14

Here in America, it's the 4th of July. It's the day we celebrate our freedom to become our own country and free of Britain's tyrannical king. So for America, Happy Independence Day! For everyone else around the world, Happy Wednesday!

Today's our 14th question of our summer series designed to help you focus on what you best life would look like. What would be important and meaningful? So here's today's question:

What would you do if you were not afraid?

Would you quit the job you hate and start a business? Maybe you had a great idea for a business but never could risk the start up phase? But what if you set a goal to do it, took steps in that direction, so that someday you could do it?

Have you ever thought of "homesteading"? It's when you buy a home and some land where you want to live, plant gardens, maybe raise a few animals, and you live off (mostly) what you can grow and build and make. There are lots of stories online about people all over the world that gave up a tiny apartment in the city for a home with some land in the countryside. Then they planted a garden, raised chickens, maybe a few cows, and taking care of their little "farm" is their job. Maybe they earn income by doing something else you can do online - selling something you make, successful blogging, offering an online service, or maybe they sell what they grow or bake at a Farmer's Market or to local stores to earn money.

Would you want to travel for 6 months? Maybe there's a particular place or area of the world you always wanted to visit. Plan for it, maybe find someone to go with you (maybe not) and just do it.
I know many people who work a second job so they can save that income for travel. The world is a beautiful place if you know where to look. Read online, find photos, read some travel magazines or books. Pick your destination(s).

Have you thought about going back to school but you worry because you now have kids that age of most college students? It's not too late. Schools offer lots of financial help to those who need it, there are many scholarships available, usually through your local area. Now you can take classes online around whatever else you have going on. If grandmas and athletes (who travel most of the year) can do it, believe you can too if that's something you always wanted to do.

Are you afraid of committing to a relationship? This one is a bit harder. If you know that you really love that person, in your head and your heart (emotions alone can betray you), take time to consider it. Ask those who know you best, and know them, if they think it would be a good match. Are you both compatible long-term? In other words, will you be fighting over how to raise kids? religion? how to be smart with your money? goals and dreams? If you get all "yes" answers, then also consider this: tomorrow is not promised to anyone. If something were to take that person away from you forever, would you regret letting fear get in the way of committing to them?  Then after careful consideration, don't wait.

Have a great week and I hope you are beginning to figure out a direction for your life to intentionally live the simple life you always wanted.

Living Simply: Question 13

If you're new here, welcome to my summer series of thought-provoking questions to find the life you want, and how to start living it. Feel free to browse through the past dozen questions.

Question #13 is this:

What moves you to tears or what gives you goosebumps (or chill 

bumps, or whatever you call it when you get chills and your skin on your arms gets all bumpy.)? 

What really gets through to your soul?

Is it patriotic music or events and you feel proud of your nation? Maybe helping veterans after they come home is an important cause for you to be involved in locally.

Perhaps its seeing a miracle of sorts, when someone without sight or hearing gets to see or see colors or hear for the first time. If those Facebook videos make you cry, maybe helping others achieve new heights is for you - or working with people with disabilities? Click on this link to see a YouTube video describing exactly what I'm talking about:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGg89igSKK4   (If this doesn't make you cry tears of joy...)

Do you find yourself drawn to tears over the situation of abused animals? neglected or hungry children? a woman trying to communicate as she realizes her husband is slipping into a deeper stage of Alzheimer's? I witnessed this first hand in the doctor's waiting room a few weeks ago. The poor woman was in tears every time her husband spoke and she realized how confused he was over simple things - he didn't know what her purse was - where he was - or why. She broke down repeatedly during just my few minutes before being called into the back.

Maybe it's seeing widows trying to deal with the death of their spouse? Have you ever been around someone as soon as that happens? After the funeral is over, after the friends and relatives have gone back to their lives, after the flowers have faded, and she realizes it's just her from now on...that's heartbreaking.

Whatever it is, find something worth putting in your time, worth fighting for, something that can change someone's world for the better, even if it's only by an anonymous donation or a few hours volunteered in the right place. 

Don't just take up space in this world. Make it better. 

Living Simply: Question 12

When speaking with people about the type of life they want, sometimes the idea is just too vague for them to answer. One thing that helps is to ask them, "Who's your hero?" or "Who do you admire?" or "Who's lifestyle would you want to trade for, but not just some millionaire, someone who's living every day the way you would like to live?" Then it becomes a little clearer, and defining the perfect life becomes a bit easier.

So now I ask you, "Who's your hero?" These are a few of the typical answers I get depending who I talk to:


1. A famous person because they can travel when and where they want and choose what jobs they take or turn down.

2. An athlete because some people just want to be spending their life in a healthy body that's physically able to do things they would enjoy, like hiking, swimming, marathons, rock climbing, etc.

3. Mother Theresa is one I hear a lot in my Christian circles because they want to have the freedom from a job to devote their lives to helping others in need, especially in the poorest areas of the world.
This is not something exclusive to Christians at all; anyone can be kind-hearted and volunteer.

4. A philanthropist because yes, they have loads of money, but to be able to wake up every day asking yourself, "Who needs the most help today?" to improve their community, or health, or some other important area of life - that would make life very rewarding, indeed.

5. Many say they want to be like their mother/father/grandparent or someone in their family who went through a lot, overcame it, and became a mentor in the family. They would like the chance to be that person in their family for future generations.

6. A ___(pick a profession)___ to help others. Maybe you want to be a doctor who helps those in need, or a psychologist who can instruct and encourage others to climb over the obstacles of their past to reach the life they never knew they could achieve. Whatever the profession, maybe that's where you can find inspiration.

7. Some tell me if they had the money and no job constraints, they would serve in either their church, their community, the government, or some other position that would give them the authority to stop harmful practices and lead others to a fulfilling life of giving back to others.

Whomever you choose as your hero or heroes, figure out why you admire them, and figure out how you can become like them. What would it take? What sacrifices would be worth making? Then take intentional baby steps in that direction to find the life you always wanted. Peace be the journey.

Living Simply: Question 11

Today we're continuing our summer series of deeper thinking questions to help you build the type of life you want.

Question 11 is this:

How can you show those around you that you appreciate, respect, or love them?

Let's start with the easy one, appreciation.

How many of us take for granted the people in our lives that make our day a little easier?

Can you show your appreciation for the barista at the coffee shop who sees you coming and has your beverage ready as you walk up to the register? How about acknowledging that with a simple, "Thank you. That saves me time I need to get things done. I appreciate it."

Is there someone at work who is a secretary or assistant that takes your messages, arranges your appointment schedules, brings you files, etc? How about letting them know how much you appreciate them with some kind words letting them know their efforts are not going unnoticed?

Do you have a good boss, business partner, mentor, teacher, or even employee that makes your day a little better? You could tell them that you have respect for their knowledge, or opinion, or decision making, because it help you, or makes things run smoothly. Let people know they matter.

Here's one. Have you ever been in a company, school, or public restroom and the cleaning person was in there trying to do their job around everyone else? Take a minute and let them know you think they're doing a good job. Tell them you appreciate coming into a clean environment. People in positions like that rarely get to feel appreciated, but they're working to support themselves and their family just like the higher ups.

What about those closest to you? When was the last time you said to your friend, spouse, partner, or kids that you loved them? Don't just say you know they know they're loved. Don't say things like, "That's why I work, to support them." They need to hear it. Everyone does now and then. Take a few minutes to let those you care most about know how much you love them. You may even want to do something nice for them, or do something that saves them time, or bring them some little treat (like their favorite coffee beverage) to say Thank You for all they do for you.

Don't go through life as a taker. Be a giver - even if you think you have nothing to give - you can give a smile, a kind word, attention, a hug (if appropriate). Let others know they aren't invisible in your world. People need connection. Be the person that brightens THEIR day for a change.

Living Simply: Question 10

Today our next question in our summer series about living simply is this:

What does success look like to you?

     To many people, success looks very different. Society would tell you success means having a car you can't afford, a home bigger than you could ever need, and debt up to your eyeballs! But from a minimalist or just living simply perspective, success can look very different, and yet, be even more rewarding. Let's take a look at a few ideas.

     Success can mean you still run a business or have a job, but maybe you have control over your own hours. There's thousands of stories of people who had no time freedom, so they either started their own business, or working from home, or went into a private practice to have control over their time. To them, that's success.

     Success can mean you don't have debt anymore. Maybe it's from an inheritance, or royalties for something you did earlier, or maybe like many who follow financial advisers like Dave Ramsey or Suze Orman and got rid debt. You live a lifestyle that's comfortable, you have an emergency fund, savings, retirement planned out, investments, and no car payments, credit car debts, or school loans. That space to financially breathe is success to them.

     Success can be so simple depending where you started out. In my lifetime, I have been and met people from all walks of life, from all over the world, who grew up poor, in very bad circumstances. Society would've project by outward appearances that people like that had no hope, no future. But every so often, someone rises above their circumstances. They find (or are blessed with) mentors to lead and guide them. They find hope and belief that they CAN do better than what they grew up with, and find the determination to make it out of those circumstances. For them success may look like becoming a stable 2-parent household with good kids that aren't trouble makers. For some it looks like finishing high school when those in their neighborhood generally drop out and turn to a life of crime, gangs, drugs, or prostitution. Something as simple as getting a college degree or finding a job that pays the bills can mean the world to someone who's only known struggles before that. 

     Don't let anyone else determine what success looks like for YOU. Take the time to figure out what would make you feel like you've had success in an area of importance to you, then take the intentional steps to make that happen. You deserve the life you're willing to hope, belive, and work for. Now go get it.

Living Simply: Question 9

What is your perfect day?

Today I want you to think about your idea of a perfect day. If you're already on track with minimalism or living simply, you may want to describe your perfect day in some tropical place, or exclusive ski resort, or camping in some exotic place, but for the majority of people just struggling to get through the week or the month, let's start a bit slower. And by the way, it's okay to give yourself permission to dream. Nothing worthwhile begins without one.

First, if you were to describe your perfect day, where would you be waking up. Would it be in the home you are now because you love it? Would it be in a tiny home on a bunch of land with a view? Would it be in a loft apartment overlooking your favorite city skyline? Maybe it would be in a tent, next to the water, on either a beach or in the mountains somewhere?

Once you woke up, got showered and dressed, what would you do next? Do you think you would want to go out for breakfast? or eat at home before starting your day? For those who don't get to have breakfast with their family because of job schedules, sitting at the table with your family may be more desirable than a diner somewhere.

Now to start your perfect day. What will you do? Well, I guess it depends on your surroundings. If you're at the beach, maybe you lay out and relax before taking a swim in warm waters. If you're in the woods, maybe you want to take a nature walk until lunch, searching for a great lookout point for a scenic view? If you're in the city, maybe it's a day to explore the tourist attractions you've never had time to enjoy, or even a few museums? Maybe you're into fishing? or skiing? or mountain climbing? or maybe you're so burnt out that just sitting quietly looking out over a lake under the shade of tall pines is your thing.

Lunch time. What will you do? Hiker's lunch from your backpack? Beach seafood buffet? Elegant dining at a city's best restaurant? Picnic in the park with your family? Go to a ball game?

What will you do this afternoon? Think through your perfect day. Where would you be? Who would you want with you? Would it be quiet and peaceful or full of excitement? Would it be a slower change of pace or a day of taking in all that place has to offer?

Once you've gone through this exercise, then maybe you can figure out some baby steps to take to intentionally get you closer to that day. It may take doing bits of it here and there, but being intentional about the type of life you want is what's important.

Perhaps this question and thoughts can turn into a weekend getaway? Maybe you can take one day to do something from your perfect day? Maybe you can put off something that's not important to have that meal around the table or picnic in the park with your family. Whatever makes up your perfect day, I hope you take the time to make it happen in your mind, then move towards it in your life. Enjoy!

Living Simply: Question 8

We're a society that's always rushing, always feeling like we're behind, running some impossible race that's killing us, especially through stress and our health. We tend to let distractions derail us from what we want or should be doing.

Today's question is simply this...What makes you lose track of time?

Is it because we just drag ourselves around throughout the day? Some people manage to jump out of bed, shower, eat a quick breakfast, say hello to their family, feed the pets, and get out the door, all in about an hour or so. Others get up three hours before they need to leave. Why? Because those same tasks take that long for them to do, and they still leave late, and thus spend the day rushing to get caught up. Why? What makes people lose track of time? Here are just a few suggestions:

Could it be too much time fighting the inevitable? You know you need to get up for work, or an appointment, or to take care of your family - but do you waste time in bed, literally a long time, just "wishing you didn't have to get up"? Wishing for half an hour could be potentially killing you.

Social media overload - are you late because you went into the bathroom with your phone and instead of just spending a few minutes there, you wasted an extra 15 - 20 minutes just so you could scroll through Facebook, reacting to some political rant, or watching some video of something useless but seems entertaining in the moment? That's 15 - 20 minutes you've lost. It's not coming back. What could you get done if you had an extra 3 1/2 hours a week? Take a class? Learn a new skill? Read a book that would help you improve yourself? Spend it with a person you say you care about and is desperate for time with you but you're "too busy"? Don't put off important things with time-wasters.

Maybe you're into video games. I know they can be used to relieve stress, or take your mind off work, or people think it's a way to be in a relationship with friends who game with you online, but when those games consume time daily, when you've lost hours and hours of your evening while your friends and family are sitting beside you lonely, you're falling behind instead of moving ahead, it's just an excuse and it's wasting your time.

Life goes by quickly. You only get one shot at this. To build the simple life you want, you have to intentionally choose to drop the time wasters from your life. You have to use your time wisely. I'm not saying don't take time to rest, relax, or play. What I'm saying, is don't waste the precious gift of time, because no one on their deathbed wished they'd spent more time at the office, playing games, or scrolling through Facebook. They regret not spending time with family when they had the chance. They regret traveling. They regret learning a new skill. Don't wait until it's too late. Be intentional with your time.

Living Simply: Question 7

Today's question continues our series designed to help you simplify your life and maybe figure out the direction to face when making baby steps to intentionally create the life you want. Today's question is this:

What do you want to let go of?

This can hold so much meaning depending where you are in your journey. I'll break it down to help you from being overwhelmed with too much to think about at once.

From a materialistic and practical standpoint: If you're thinking about minimalism, simplifying your life, or just removing a bunch of clutter from your home or office, where do you start? How about just focusing on what's easiest - a hall closet, a junk drawer, a utensil drawer in the kitchen, your food cabinet/pantry, going through a DVD or CD collection. Start with something small and easy to give yourself some quick success and motivation. Ask yourself a few questions:

• What in here have I not touched in a year? (or 6 months, or however short you want)
• What in here do I not even like nor want anymore?
• What in here do I have more than one of and don't need?

What in here do I use/really want to keep/or it brings me joy? (those you keep, the rest you either donate, give away, sell, or throw out). After that's done, move onto the next place, area, or go room-by-room until you're done. Maybe you'll want to do it all in a weekend, maybe it'll take you a week or month, maybe it'll be something you work on over the course of the season or year. However you choose, it will be better in the end.

Next, let's think about social media, your smart phone, the internet, and your computer. Here's a few questions to ask yourself:

• What apps on my phone do I not really need? or waste too much time using?
• What social media to I not really enjoy? 
• Am I using all the internet and services I'm paying for? Can I drop down to a lower tier of
•      TV channels, or drop a movie channel/sports package? Is there a cheaper option? Do I even       NEED cable/satellite TV anymore?

Do I have a bunch of unwanted junk stored in my computer I'll never need or even look at again? Maybe it's time to go through and dump documents, photos, downloads, etc. that are taking up space but are unnecessary. You could also save them to a thumb/flash drive.

Last, let's think in terms of your mental and physical health. Here's a last set of questions to ask yourself:

• Do I have any bad habits it's time to break? smoking? excessive alcohol? drugs? Be free.
• Did I used to collect things for pleasure but lately, I really don't enjoy collecting anymore (this can include sports memorabilia, movies, tools, anything)
• Are there toxic relationships you know you should let go of? People that are just using you for what they can get from you? Others who spout condemning words with never a nice thing to say to anyone? Someone with such a negative, bitter attitude that you're avoiding talking to them? What about that person who does the same things over and over, never takes advice from anyone, doesn't change their behavior, and doesn't want to change because they love the drama of it all? Sorry, but when someone makes the same mistakes over and over, they aren't mistakes anymore - they're choices. They're decisions.

Hopefully this will give you a good start in whatever area you desire to improve. Feel free to comment with any questions you have about any of this. I'm here to help those who want it.

Living Simple: Question 6

Today's question is going to revolve around being the kind of person that makes the world a better place. 

Today's question is this:  

What does the world need more of?

What comes to mind? Here are a few answers that I found online, and as a Mom, I give my opinion and advice on them. It gets a little strong towards the end, but if no one told you these things before, someone should. I don't mean to offend anyone, but if most people are doing the right things (and not the wrong ones) they shouldn't be offended in the first place. Strong = growth.

1. Joy - more people who take time to enjoy life, like helping others, want to lift other up instead of wearing others down. Save a life - don't make someone want to take theirs.
2. Adventure - not everyone wants to go to school, go to college, get a "good" job, and work it 40+ hours a week for the next 40 - 60 years. Some make their own path, take risks, start their own businesses, retire so they have time to help others, become rich to become philanthropists,
3. Courtesy - what ever happened to opening doors for those behind you, waving in that car trying to merge into traffic and letting them in front of you, saying thank you when someone does something nice, trying to return the favor when someone helps you?
4. Compassion/Respect/Love instead of ego - everyone (especially on social media) is so concerned about their ego. They name-call, bash, and cuss at each other, demeaning and dismissing anyone else's opinion but their own. There's no more room for that in this world. People are sick of jerks like that. The world needs people to respond, not react, to things. We need to understand that all people deserve respect, even if they disagree with us on things. If everyone figured out how to care about other people, that alone could change the world!
5. Family - this may mean your relatives, or it may mean those who love and support you and are closest to you, even if there's no blood lines shared. For decades now it's seemed as though there's been a trend to disintegrate the family unit. The world would be so much better if people went back to spending time together instead of in isolation.
6. Awareness - the world needs people to look up from their phones, to focus on driving when behind the wheel, to be aware of those around them when they speak and do things, considering other's feelings and how their own actions affect others.
7. Responsibility - You made the mess, you fix it. Stop blaming others because that will NEVER fix the problem. Whatever you did, even if it wasn't something you planned on doing, take responsibility for your actions, your family, your words, your home, your community, and your world. The world does not need more lazy freeloaders who take but never give.
8. Thinking - People do the stupidest things and then tell everyone, they guess they just didn't think. Unacceptable. Think before you speak. Think before you do. Think where you want to end up and choose the path that goes there - not the one that leads somewhere else. Stop the drama. No one around you likes it. Drama for getting attention gets on everyone's nerves. Maybe they're just too compassionate, caring, loving, and intimidated to tell you - Think first!
9. Acceptance - people need to stop judging everyone else. I don't know why so many think they're perfect but they sure act like it. The world needs us to accept people where they're at. I don't mean you have to accept and change your beliefs, values, and morals to match others' opinions. I'm saying to accept the person even if you disagree with something they're doing. The most frustrating thing is someone crying for the right to something while they think it's okay to deny you of yours. 
10. Givers - what can you do well? Are you willing to teach others how to do what you do? Are you willing to share ideas how to solve problems in the world? Are you able to do a small thing, play a small part, in helping others in real need? Some things need time, others money, others ideas, others volunteers, etc. 

If the people in the world could learn these 10 things, just imagine what a better world it would be! I always teach baby steps, intentionally in the right direction. If you can do that, you could change your home or office or family's "world". Communities coming together could change the state, then the nation, then the world. It all starts with one small step.

Living Simple: Question 5

   Today we continue in our summer series of questions designed to improve your life and get you on the path to living a more intentional, simple life. Today's question is this:

What is the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?

Wow. Let's really think about this one. Many of us have friends that are kind to us regularly, but what really stands out? Is it something unexpected? Something you couldn't pay back?


     What is it that you remember someone doing for you that really struck you as kind? What made you stop and think, "They really didn't have to go out of their way to do that, but they did." Today I want you to think about the people who have done things for you. Here are some memory joggers:

* Spoke up at work to help you get your job   
* Gave you a ride in an emergency
* Went out of their way to tell you how much you or your friendship means to them
* Gave you a sincere compliment. Not flattery, but found a specific thing you're good at and
   told you about it
* Gave you a place to stay during a time when you had no where else to go
* Allowed you to borrow money ONE TIME when things beyond your control got out of hand
* Did something nice for your kids or family when you had no way to do it for yourself
* Helped you through a rough time, whether at work, with relationships, or when you were down
* Told you the truth, knowing you didn't want to hear it, but it helped you see things for what they
   really are and move forward in a better way
* Helped you with groceries, Held a door open when your hands were full, or like the picture shows,
   shared an umbrella with you on a rainy day
* Sent you a well-timed letter, card, or text when you needed to hear/read it.

 

All of these things are wonderful gifts to give to another - and most of them are free. What if today you made someone's day? Not only would that make you feel good, but it could change the life of someone else! Never underestimate how far something simple can go for someone else.

   Let me wrap up with a quick story. I'll try to keep it brief, just bear in mind it was before we had ever heard of minimalism and living a simple life. We were typical Americans, struggling at the beginning of an economic downturn.

   One time we were beyond broke and the kids were still fairly young. It was about 2 days before Christmas and we had nothing to give our kids since we would probably even fall a bit short on paying our mortgage for the first time ever. Suddenly there was a knock on our door. I opened it to see who it was and no one was there, but they left 2 wrapped gifts and 2 envelopes with our family's name on them. I ran outside to see who could've left them but no one was around anywhere. I brought them inside wondering who could've been so kind to our family when my husband came in less than a minute later. He too saw no one around. When I told him what had just happened, he looked at me in disbelief and said, "You won't believe this, come out to the car with me," Two wonderfully kind ladies at work knew our circumstances (but not because my husband had tried to find pity). They had surprised him by filling our trunk with 3 kinds of every sport ball (we had three kids), games, toys, and a few envelopes. We couldn't believe it! Our kids would have a wonderful Christmas anyway, in spite of our circumstances! When we opened the envelopes of both sets of gifts, some held gift cards for WalMart and Target, others for our local grocery store to buy Christmas dinner. Another held $500 from our mysterious door knocker! It was going to be the worst Christmas ever, but turned out to be the kids' best ever! To this day I wonder who left the first set of gifts, and wonder if any of those involved remember just how big their giving was to a desperate family.

   I'm not saying everyone needs to go all out like that. I'm not saying it's impossible for a group of people to get together to benefit a family in need. What I am saying is to count your blessings, be thankful for what others have done for you, and be that kind of person to someone else. Share the love others have shown for you or your family.

Make it a great weekend.

Living Simple: Question 4

Today's question 4 in our series is:

What challenge do you want to overcome?

If you were to grow as a person, and begin a "new" life starting from where you are right now, what challenge stands in your way? What would you need to overcome to begin the more simple life you always wanted?

     First, do you think you would you need some further education? Maybe you want to be a writer, or start your own business, or live on a self-sustaining farm? You would be wise to get educated on your goal first. This may require going back to school for a few classes, taking some local classes through your public library, finding a mentor who's already doing what you want to do that can teach you how? Maybe you just need to read a few books on the subject. Whatever it is, education can get you where you want to be.

     Next, to begin the simple life you seek, you need to start changing the way you think and do things. Even if you do learn to live a more simple life doing what you love for a living, you need to think differently. You need to believe that since this is who you really are inside, and what you really want deep down, let go of what society says is "success", ignore the "you need this" advertising scams. Believe in being who you are.

    Additionally, you need to give yourself time. Be patient with yourself. You can't change your entire life overnight. There will be ups and downs, but the struggle is what makes you strong, and makes the victory of reaching your destination worth it. Just as a caterpillar struggles to break free of its chrysalis, that struggle is what makes its wings strong enough to fly. If someone were to cut it open thinking they're helping, the butterfly would be weak and die. Allow yourself the time you need.

    And finally, don't forget to enjoy the journey. You will face and meet small goals along the way. You'll stumble and maybe have a few setbacks, but don't give up thinking it will never happen. Believe you can do it, surround yourself with people who will support you in becoming your best YOU. Remember what I always say, "Baby steps, in the right direction, will eventually get you to your destination." Remember that all you deal with will be stepping stones to your perfect life. They will also be valuable lessons that perhaps you can pass on to others seeking a similar journey. Just remember to keep the end in mind. Once you get to your destiny, however long it takes, it will be worth it. You will be living the more simple life you always wanted. You will wake up every day knowing you decided to pursue the life you'll now have. Every day will be filled with whatever you decide to take on. Maybe it's a business, maybe it's to live in the Caribbean, maybe it's to live a minimalist lifestyle to free up time and money for what's most important to you.

Whatever it is, decide today, move in that direction, and create the future you always dreamed of !

Living Simple: Question 3

Today's question in our new series is this:

Q. What was your childhood dream?

(I'd love to be a Philanthropist, rich enough to give away millions to others, but that's another story.)

Before you tune out and think, yeah, it's a little late to be an astronaut...just stop and think...I bet you didn't dream about being an overworked, under appreciated employee, killing yourself to barely scrape by, tired all the time, wishing you had more time off. Am I right? Well then, play along.

When we're kids and even teenagers, we dream about what life could be like for us. We haven't been soured by the world, jaded by unfair business practices, we probably didn't hate people as a philosophy. Back then, we were full of hope. We felt unstoppable. When we weren't being told we couldn't do anything but what we're doing right now, we thought about what a different life would look like. Take a few minutes now and try that again, forgetting the negativity you know now.

Did you ever want to be a cowboy? Writer? Musician? Singer? Actor? Nurse/Doctor? how about a Vet to help sick animals? Did you want to travel? Own your own business? All these things are still possible for most of us. All it takes is to begin - begin taking baby steps intentionally in the right direction.

For example, if you wanted to become a writer, you could take a class at your local library or community college (or even online) to improve your skills. Nowadays you can publish your own eBooks to get started. It's not like the old days where you had to invest thousands of dollars and get one of only a few national publishers to pick up your book. I have several friends that have done just that.

Let's say you wanted to be a musician. I know a few people who quit their "day job" to begin a career doing what they love, being a musician. Most of them are solo artists who started in small restaurants and coffee places, then worked their way up to bigger and bigger venues. Some even put out multiple CDs (although with everything being electronic now, that's become easier too).

Want to be a cowboy or homesteader? Consider what steps you'd need to purchase some land, either work from home, be willing to commute to a job in the nearest town, or if possible, retire. You could purchase whatever you need whether it's horses, cattle, or farming equipment, depending on your situation. Start small, work your way up, Live the life you've always wanted.

I've always wanted to help people. As a kid, I wanted to be a teacher but I knew there was no money in it, and as schools changed to a kid-run, undisciplined, no consequences environment, I chose to homeschool my own three kids instead. I poured my best into those I cared most about. Now as adults, they are well-rounded, hard-working, respectful, thoughtful adults. My next passion came in the form of women's ministry in my church. I've gone back to school at a time where I'm old enough to be my fellow students' parent. I'm working my way through a psychology degree so I can help others, hopefully women, who need help overcoming abuse, broken homes, and other tragedies. My dream now is to help them become all they were meant to be before people and life broke them.

Anyway, there is a dream hidden inside each of us. Take some time to think about it. What is it you could really enjoy becoming? Once you figure out, take the first few baby steps in that intentional right direction.

Living Simple: Question 2

   

Today's question in our new series is this:  What is something you recently tried and loved? Think about that. This can go either of two ways. First, you can think to yourself, "I haven't tried anything new in a while." If this is your answer, maybe you aren't living your best life yet. Maybe you would have a real passion for something if you tried it. If this is you, then may I offer you a little advice to help you on your journey to discover the best life for you? Try new things.

1. Take a class at a local college, or participate in something through your city or recreational department.

2. Check out new things through your local library. Sometimes they have story time for kids if you've got little ones at home. They offer classes to help you navigate computer programs. Some offer genealogy classes. Sometimes you can meet a local author, or learn to write/publish a work of your own.

3. Try a life skill like cooking, investing, or something that will benefit you in the long run.

4. There's tons of online free classes offered from colleges around the world, as well as thousands of YouTube videos to learn how to do almost anything.

5. Join a friend in THEIR activity to see if you like it.

6. Do a friends night out either bowling, or wine and painting class, or start a monthly movie or game night group with friends, neighbors, etc.

   

 If you DID recently try something and you liked it - let's say it was learning to cook - then work on that skill and develop a passion for it. Learn online free what you can, try a few more things at home until you're ready to take it to the next level. Ask others for advice in that area. Who knows? You may find a new community of people you already know who enjoy the same thing you do. What if you found out there were 3 or 4 people around you that also liked cooking but were new? Schedule a pot luck with them having everyone bring one dish they know they're good at making, share each other's meals, recipes, tips, and secrets. Make it a fun experience!

     Have a passion for a particular cause? Volunteer to help out somehow. Contact those in charge and join with like-minded people to help change your neighborhood, your community, your state, or your world.
   
     You can do the same with almost anything. Be creative. Find something you really enjoy. You only get to live this life once. Make it fun. Do it intentionally.

Living Simple: Question 1

Today I'm starting a series of questions to make you think about ways you can change your life. They won't be daily, but now that I have the next 7 weeks off from college, they will at least be more frequent. I appreciate your patience as I worked my way through my 2nd semester. I didn't get to blog as often as I wanted, but I did earn another 4.0 GPA! Anyway, here's today's question:

Question 1: Where have you found peace?

Think back to where you were relaxed, at peace, wishing that would last forever.


Wherever that place was, it may be someplace for you to revisit - whether it's a physical place, or back in your home town, or maybe it was in a church, or a support group, maybe it was when you were in another occupation?




Give this question some thought. It could provoke some future direction as you simplify your life.


If you're going to move forward anyway as time goes on, do it intentionally, to find that place of peace.

Living Simply: What I've learned

   
    Today I want to share with you a few things I've learned from intentionally living simply and embracing minimalism as a mindset, not necessarily as a way to count how many items I have. Maybe if you see what I've learned, and you want those things for your own life, then you too will take a few baby steps in the right direction.


1. I can't think of a single thing I got rid of that I miss. I don't miss the books, the scrapbooking paraphernalia, the clothes I wasn't wearing anyway, (same with shoes), the extra duplicates of kitchen and pantry items, knick knacks that never reflected my taste, extra Christmas decor,...none of it.

2. I see stores differently and shop within their walls differently. I love how Joshua Fields MIlburne (The Minimalists) said it, loosely paraphrased, he said that when people go into the store, they feel like they want to take everything in it home with them. When you visit a museum, you appreciate it but you don't want to take it all home. That's how I feel in stores now. I may like a few things but I really don't want to take them home. Probably because I know I won't be happier just because they're sitting on a table or shelf somewhere.

3. The art of appreciation: I feel better knowing that what I do have in my living space reflects who I am because it either is necessary or it brings me joy. When it ceases to do so, I can easily let it go.

4. I don't understand the connection myself but I absolutely feel free-er with less stuff. My mind seems more clear, my whole body feels more relaxed, and empty spaces bring me peace. I don't feel like I have to fill that empty corner, or shelf, or space next to a sofa.

5. By taking the journey to consider what's important (so I can let go of all the rest), I have learned to fill my calendar with only what's most important to me, too. I waste time a lot less often and I fill my time with what is more enjoyable or what's necessary to achieve my goals.

6. In place of things, I now seek out experiences both as gifts to give others, as well as what I ask for when others want to buy me some "thing". I'd rather enjoy dinner or a movie with loved ones, or take a getaway trip, than to open a box with some doodad I didn't need and they really didn't need to spend money on to let me know they care.

7. There's a confidence to not being bound to others' expectations of what I should wear, own, drive, where I should live, vacation, etc. I am free to be and do as I please. No pressure, judgement, or condemnation from others...I simply don't care. I will not go into debt to keep up with some imaginary scorecard of society. Never.

8. I look forward to the day we downsize. I am in no rush to kick out my young adult kids, nor my brother who I am helping out while he improves his life. I enjoy every person in my home, but when the timing is right for all of us they will become independent. I then will look forward to simplifying my home and life even more. We'll be able to minimize to a decent two-bedroom condo, and I can stop having to hang onto seating and dining for 8-12 people, among other things.

9. Health has become higher on the priority list. I have less stress than I used to and I rest more than I used to give myself permission to take. If I need a nap and have the time in my schedule that day, I'll take it. If I need to sleep a little more, I will go to bed earlier. I eat better than I did years ago. I try to get out more even if it's just to walk.

10. Living a more simple life is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. Even if you throw out all you own, the mind and habits take time to change. Baby steps in the right direction over time are all it takes.

I hope you too find your best life through simplifying and letting go.

Living Simple: Other money saving ideas

   

This is the time of year people seemed a little strapped for cash. For college students, it's when either they need money for next semester's classes, or they know they'll have to start paying off those loans since they're graduating in the next few weeks.

     For the families, it's nearing the end of the school year. Kids will need things to do this summer, maybe there's travel plans to be paid for, and they'll all need new clothes and shoes since last year's don't fit anymore.

     Whatever your situation, who couldn't use a little extra cash? There's lots of "side hustles" to make money, but if you're wasting it as fast as you're making it, what's the point? Here's a few ways to save some money in the meantime.

1. Food budget: I will always recommend trying the store brand versions. They come off the same assembly lines as the brand names but there's no advertising costs figured in. You may be surprised to know that your favorite ketchup for example is really the exact same ketchup that's in your store's brand and bottle but it's usually a LOT less money. Most stores have a great guarantee that if you don't like their product, you can return or exchange it. 

     Also, there's a website called Emeals that you can go to and sign up. For about $5 - $10/month, and they email you a menu, grocery shopping list, and even what stores to buy from with average prices to you can see what it'll cost. You can pick gluten-free, vegan, low fat, paleo, and many others.

2.  Save money without thinking. There's many banks now offering to round up your purchases to the nearest dollar and the extra change gets deposited to your savings account instead of jingling in your pocket. Some of them are online only banks, like Chime online bank. They even will match you 10% of what you saved up to $500. 

3. Many millennials and even those younger are saving money by not having a monthly cable bill for TV. They watch what they want on demand with Netflix or Hulu. For about $15 a month you get all your favorite shows plus original content.

4.  Clothing budget (especially for kids), save a bundle this time of year buying kids' clothes (and maybe a few adult pieces) at local yard sales, garage sales, tag sales, whatever they call them in your neck of the woods - this is the season. Also, many people do spring cleaning preparing for the change in seasons and now is a great time to get first looks at Goodwill, Salvation Army, Deseret stores, and other thrift stores. If you find one that gives the proceeds to help the community, even better.

5.  Reusable water bottles can save you lots of money by refilling your own throughout the day, but you're also helping the landfill situation, now overloaded with empty plastic disposable water bottles. 

6.  Brown Bag It - bring leftovers to work, pack your lunch from home, bake on the weekends instead of buying store-brand, chemical laden treats for the kids all week.

7.  Plan a weekend that costs next to nothing. Watch movies either through Netflix or other sites you already subscribe to, make your own snacks, play some board games, play cards, go for nature walks, be creative. 

If you can learn to save a little here and there, it will add up to quite a bit at the end of the month, and especially the year. There's hundreds, if not thousands, of stories online of people who saved a little with simple steps and saved enough for a vacation, or a much needed new (to them) car, or even a down payment on a home. Good luck, and be mindful of where your money goes.

Living Simply: Simple Date Nights

With the weather about to get warmer, here's some great inexpensive, simple ideas for date night - but you can also modify many of these for a family day out or a friends day out. 

1. Hike trails, ride bikes, go fishing, walk through the woods, -  just get out and get some exercise while enjoying the outdoors.

2. Camping - if it's warm enough where you are, or you could be planning ahead, camping is a great way to get back to a simple life for a few days...sitting by the fire, cooking on a camp stove or over the fire (bring oven mitts), maybe by a beach, lake, or mountain stream.

3. Picnics -  it can be simple sandwiches and snacks, or order takeout before hand. Bring a string of battery-operated LED lights in a mason jar for mood lighting if it's dusk/evening.

4. Stargazing - evenings will be warmer soon. Just head to a park or field or rooftop and lay flat on a blanket with some soothing music. It's very relaxing.

5. Eat cheap - why not go out for just appetizers or dessert with a beverage? You don't have to order the entire meal out. Make it dessert after a movie, or appetizers before heading out somewhere else.

6. Indoor fun works, especially if it's still too cold out - bowling, ice or roller skating, indoor swimming at a YMCA or other gym. Or what about hitting an arcade to bring back memories?

7. Mini Golf - who doesn't end up having fun at mini golf?

8. If it's not a date, bring a kid to play ball or frisbee at a park or field.

9. Attend an event - many cities/towns offer free nights at museums, or free local concerts, as well as other downtown events. Maybe there's an inexpensive class offered nearby?

10. Volunteer somewhere together. There's so many needs out there. You could help at a food pantry, organizing at a clothing drive, habitat for humanity does projects for those in need, and local churches regularly have opportunities to volunteer in the community. 

Whatever you choose, do something different and it doesn't have to cost a lot of money to do it. Just be creative.

Living Simply: Are you ready to make changes?

How do you know if you're ready to make some serious changes in your life? Maybe you made a few attempts to start? Maybe you've given it a lot of thought but never really gave it a true effort yet? Maybe you've messed up for what you hope is the last time and you're ready to live your life differently? Maybe life is forcing you to change the path you're on so now is the best time to make a new start - the RIGHT way? In any case, here's a few ideas how to figure out if you're ready to make changes:

1.  Have you figured out you're done with the "hamster wheel" yet? Most of us get to a point where we figure out we're just chasing out tails, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results (which, by the way, is the definition of insanity!). You may have gotten to that point where you know you've missed out on years of what could've been a better life because you were caught up in the rat race. Home to work to home, 5, 6, or even 7 days a week. You may have missed some important time or events with your family, your children's childhood, your neglected spouse, not been there for friends when they needed you. If this sounds like where you're at - You're ready.

2.  Has the pull of "stuff" worn off yet? Are you realizing you own so much stuff that it's everywhere, it takes hours to maintain, it's cluttering your world? Have you said to yourself that you'd rather spend money on travel, or experiences, rather than buy more stuff you don't need? Have you figured out that people who pay for storage because they have more stuff than they need (and don't ever see it or use it) don't have it all figured out? Have you pictured yourself enjoying life instead of collecting material things?  - You're ready.

3.  Have you lost your thankfulness? Do you find yourself complaining more than you'd like and having less and less to be thankful for? Are you thinking that you'd like to be able to appreciate the most important things and people in life (even the smallest things)?  - You're ready.

4.  Does living unconventionally sound appealing these days? Are you tired of doing what everyone else is doing just to find out everyone else is just as miserable because the world's thinking isn't working? Are you excited about the chance to live with less, have more time and space and money by making different choices? Are you ready to feel free to live life on your terms instead of keeping up with those around you (often by lying, presenting yourself as more rich and important than you financially are)? Are you ready to live a life that's simple, honest, and free? - You're ready.

5.  Are you ready to streamline your life? Can you remove the unwanted clutter in your home, office, digital world, computer, commitments, and relationships - keeping ONLY what is necessary and brings you joy? - You're ready.

I hope today finds you ready. You only get to live this life once. You better make the most of it, doing what's important to you, not pretending to be "like everybody else". Make a new start - today.