Day 30: Evaluate your last 5 purchases

   

     I like this challenge because it makes us think. It also asks the question AFTER the behavior so your answers can be more honest. So, let's think about and evaluate our last 5 purchases. What were they? By the way, I don't consider food/restaurant/seeing a movie a purchase - I believe the intent here is about material possessions. I thought the photo expressed what advertisers want us to think..."beautiful things, so little time"

     Maybe you purchased clothes. Did you need them? Or did you just want them? There's a difference. If you only own a week's worth of clothes and something gets torn, stained, damaged, or doesn't fit, then you probably needed it. If it's just one of hundreds of pieces of clothing, your closets are already full, and you've filled many dresser drawers with clothes, you only wanted it.

     Maybe you bought books. I love books. I love reading. Did you try to buy the book second-hand? Maybe a used copy on Amazon.com or something? Did you see if the library had it? Or did you just buy it. Maybe it was a new book that just came out and that was your only option, or you needed to save time searching for a used one, so you bought new. It happens. But what will you do with it after you read it? Will you donate it? Pass it on to a friend or relative that's interested in it? Or will it clutter the shelves with hundreds of others you've already (or worse, will never get to) and although the collection looks impressive, you wouldn't want to have to move it again?

     Did you buy decor for your house/office/place of business? This one is tricky. If it was an intentional purchase that fit and brought you value for more than just the quick 5 minute high you got purchasing it and placing it somewhere, then you did it with purpose. If you saw it, and on a whim decided to buy it, after all it was "on sale", and you've walked by it every day since you brought it home without a glance or even a second thought, it's just one more thing cluttering up your home/space.

     What about if it was some doodad, some little thing without meaning or reason? You saw it and again, on a whim decided since it was "on sale" you "had to have it". Again, this was probably a want and not a need.

     So what about MY last 5 purchases? Let's take a look:

1.  I bought dishes for my brother. He's coming to live with us in about 6 weeks and has food allergies. I didn't want him eating off ours and getting sick. I bought them new so they're clean, and although they're nice, they aren't expensive. I bought a small service for 4, not some massive set.

2.  I bought a set of 4 glasses for my brother. Same as above.

3.  I bought a small set of silverware for 4 for my brother. Same as above.

4.  I bought a pair of denim shorts. This was a trade off for the ones I'm throwing away. I've had the old ones for over 5 years, they're at least a size or two too big, they barely stay on. The edges are ripping. It's time for a replacement. I bought them new but at a discount store (Ross? I think).

5.  I bought a movie, the original Music Man from the 1960s. The whole family loves that movie, my daughter wanted it for her birthday and didn't get it from the person she mentioned it to, so she's actually keeping it as a late birthday gift. It won't be adding to my stuff. Was this a need instead of a want, probably, however, last night I sat down with my daughter and 23 year old son to watch it together. I can't remember the last time I got multiple family members to sit together to watch a movie together, especially HIM. Maybe I spent $12 on it, but it gave us a family experience that I may not have again at their ages. It was great to share laughs and jokes while watching it. To me, that was worth it for the cost of one movie ticket. I feel I paid for the rare experience, not the movie itself, and again, it won't be added to my collection.

     What will my next few purchases be? Intentional. They'll probably be clothes since I'm down to just 30 items in my closet, and I have no casual dress, no skirts, and my one formal dress it too long and outdated. When will I buy them? Not now just because I realize I don't have them. I'll wait until I feel I need them, then I'll shop discount stores for them. If I was a guy I suppose jeans and shirts could be bought on ebay or something, but if I can't try it on, I'm not buying it. No online clothes shopping for me. It didn't work out 3 out of 3 times.

     So what were your last 5 purchases, and how do you feel about them today?

By the way, the challenge isn't over. Tomorrow I'll do a Rearview Mirror of the last month, and tell you what I'll be doing for a daily challenge/focus/living simply thing in August...so stay tuned.

Minimalist Challenge Day 29: Turn off notifications

     According to statistics just released earlier this month, Americans check their cell phones 110 times a day on average, which means although you may be one of the few that check it less than that, there are many others who check it much more than that! Why are we addicted to our cell phones? Does it make us feel connected by reading strangers' posts? Does it make us feel more important if something we post gets enough "likes" or "shares"? Have our attention spans gotten so short that we can't sit still for 3 minutes without pulling out our phones, ESPECIALLY WHILE DRIVING!!! But that's for another post someday.

     We in America have become so addicted that the statistics are terrifying, according to one article (of many):
     10 Terrifying statistics about cell phone addiction

     How can you learn to live simply when you complicate your life on purpose this way? Today's challenge is to shut off notifications. I know the first objections will be things like, "I need it for work." That's not what I mean. I mean shut off notifications on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, or whatever other social media you're on. You can still make a point to go to that app and use it, but you don't need it to make your phone go off every few minutes all day long when most of it is frivolous stuff - things like notifications telling you someone "liked" your post, or some product or company just posted on their page, or a friend of a friend commented on something you posted a week ago. Let it go. Turn them off for a day.

     What about if we turned our phones completely off either while driving to our next destination, or else during the next time we sit down to eat with our family, friends, or relatives? You know what? There are still millions of us around who've lived long enough to remember life before cell phones. I know this will be hard for people under 30 to believe, but we still managed to get where we were going. We knew how to have conversations. We went to gatherings and parties and barbecues without wondering who was commenting on something someone else said who wasn't even there. We at dinner without interruptions, and if the house phone did ring, you let it go to the answering machine. People waited in line at the grocery store for 5 minutes without having to see what was going on in Beyonce's life (or whoever was popular at the time). People took their toddlers to the park and WATCHED them, interacted with them, instead of now how they let them run off while they stare at their phone screen. We found ways to kill time in doctor's offices and dentist offices - we read books, or did crossword puzzles, or talked to people around us. We did things to make us smarter. I cringe at the whole attitude of "here's my mind, fill it with whatever you want, entertain me!"

     I'm not against cell phones but to live simply, you have to see it differently. It's a tool. If my car breaks down, I have it to call for help. If I need to tell someone I'm running late (before I leave or after I pull over somewhere), then fine. If I need a map because I'm not in a city laid out in a grid with major intersections for markers, great. But my phone is for MY convenience. It's not for everyone in the world who wants to call me, not for telemarketers to sell me things, not for strangers to notify me of things unsolicited. It's for ME. It's so I can speak to those closest to me and they can reach me when they need to, or during the only time they have to speak to me because of their job.

     Take a day and shut off your notifications. See what a day is like when you finally pick your head up and look around. See the beauty in nature around you, the architecture in the buildings you pass, the faces of the people you often ignore as they serve you your food, or coffee, or ring up your purchases. Treat people like they're more important than scrolling through social media, because they are.

     Like you always hear from The Minimalists, Joshua Fields Milburne and Ryan Nicodemus, "Love people and use things because the opposite never works."

Minimalism Challenge Day 28: Let Go of a Goal

     In this crazy busy world of goal-setting gurus offering to help make you rich by reaching your goals for internet traffic to your site, or by using sales strategies, or fitness challenges, why would I want to "let go of a goal"? Here's why:

     Although I am a list-maker, planner, and I'm very organized, I don't necessarily need traditional goals for what I do. I could set goals for how many books to read in a year, or how many pounds to lose in a set time frame, or a date in the future to see all 50 states, etc., but why? As I'm learning to live simply I need to figure out what's most important to me, what adds value to my life, and how to live intentionally and purposefully.  Yes, I'm following a minimalist mindset now but it's not about the number of items you own, it's about intentionally living out your passion and purpose. To do that, I need to be able to let go of goals OTHER PEOPLE think I should have. Just spend a few minutes reading articles on any media platform and you'll see all kinds of things you "should" be doing. You should read more, workout until you're punishing your body, have face to face conversations with everyone you call a friend or relative, use the latest apps, watch the most popular shows, buy the latest thing, move towards a bigger house, consider buying the most expensive cars advertised, buy thousands of dollars worth of gifts for holidays (think: He went to Jared!), be on a monthly standing order for everything from shoes and clothes to toys for your pet, get your food ordered through a service that shows up weekly, start a blog, start a business from home, spend more quality time parenting, check out your local attractions, have date night with your spouse or partner, pray more, volunteer more, donate more, get involved in civic organizations, write your congressmen, and the list goes on forever. We can't do it all. While none of these things are necessarily bad in and of themselves (although some I would argue do more harm than good), you need to figure out what your responsibilities really are for you and your family, what adds value to your life, and what passions you'd like to pursue. You should make personal time for those closest to you but not everyone you know at the expense of those you love. If you're responsible for the roof over your family's head, then quitting work to pursue a hobby like fishing isn't what we're talking about here. If you're responsible for handling the finances of your household, then pursuing traveling around the world on credit cards isn't the answer. There is a balance, a way to live simply, and it involves getting rid of the "extra" stuff in your life - that can mean clutter, wardrobe, activities, or just saying no to things that you don't have to say yes to because others expect it.

     I will be going back to college in a few weeks so what am I letting go of today? I'm letting go of the number of books I think I need to read. I'll keep reading as aggressively as time and desire allow, but when I need to be reading my textbooks instead, I'll let go of the normal guilt associated with that. Yes, I feel guilty whenever I'm not trying to better myself. I've spent the last 45 years or so always feeling I had to prove myself, or validate that I'm important. I've been told throughout the years, in many ways, that if you don't bring in a paycheck you're not valuable, you're not as important, or your time is not as important. I'm done with that. What I do and have done for the past 2 to 3 decades has been very important in the lives of others. I no longer need to worry about what others think of how I spend my time. At almost 50 years old, I'm a grown up and I will decide what's best for me.

     Another goal I'm letting go of is learning Spanish (for now). It's getting changed from a goal to a hobby. I hate the guilt associated when I feel I'm "falling behind where I should be" because other things are more urgent and important. If it's a hobby, it can be enjoyable again. No one wants to start hating something they took on because they wanted the fun adventure of it. As a hobby, I'll continue to pursue it, but only when it becomes that day's important/passion thing.

     Trim Healthy Mama is the eating plan I use. The best lesson it taught me is that setting goals of numbers on the scale just leads to frustration and quitting in most cases. It's more about health, strength, endurance, stabilizing blood sugar levels, avoiding sugar, gluten, and artificial chemicals & sweeteners. I have seen hundreds of cases now where 3 or more women weight the exact same amount on a scale and look totally different because of how they carry it, how tall they are, etc. I don't care what number the scale says or doesn't say if I'm healthier and dropping sizes. I have gone down 3 sizes and never saw a single pound come off the scale. I've also had 15 pounds drop off yet my normal size was getting tight from bloating eating prepackaged or restaurant foods too often. I let go of pound goals. I do keep track for health's sake but it's not a goal, no set date in mind, I just try to live simply - taking one day at a time, making good decisions on food and workouts every day instead of cramming for a date/number.

     What goals did you set that may not truly reflect something that adds value or joy to your life? What should you let go of to be happier without losing focus on the important?

Minimalist Challenge Day 27: Clean out a junk drawer

 

     I know most households have a junk drawer, and we always did up until moving into this house two and a half years ago - but I don't have one now. What I did instead is to go through (again) my personal drawer of stuff in my bedroom. I started with the two jewelry boxes. I'll tell you up front, I own no jewelry of any value. What little I did, and I mean very little, I sold years ago when we were getting back on our feet after losing our home. What I had left were basically gifts from others, things that were special to me for one reason or another, and lots of extra costume jewelry I picked up over the years but never really wear. I tend to wear the same few pairs of earrings, treasure the same 3 or 4 rings, wear about half a dozen necklaces, and maybe 3 or 4 bracelets. The rest I got rid of. If it was a gift I did make a point to wear it recently knowing this was coming up. Sometimes I get gifts and people give me jewelry in colors they wear, but not a color I even own to wear with it. I can either get rid of it, or spend money I shouldn't on a color I don't normally wear, adding to my wardrobe which I've diligently tried to pare down to only items that I love and bring me happiness. What would you do? Exactly, I either regifted it, or donated it to brighten someone else's day. I kept my mother's ring, a sapphire ring I picked out years ago Tim bought me - it's not worth hardly anything but I do love it, and a couple others I do occasionally wear. All the gold colored jewelry, mostly necklaces and bracelets, that I accumulated over the years I also regifted or donated. I only wear silver toned jewelry since gold colored doesn't match my skin tone at all. All my rings are gold though, so I have to trade off with those and don't wear any other jewelry when I'm wearing them. Next I had lots of earrings to get rid of. Most were so tarnished and faded I'd never wear them again anyway. I did keep a gold tone set of shamrock earrings my in-laws brought me back from Ireland over 20 years ago, though. I love them, even if I only wear them on rare occasions. All that fit in one jewelry box, and the other jewelry box was the perfect size for the few oversized pins, coins from other countries, and other odd jewelry type things I want to keep.

     Next I went through the cards I kept in my drawer. I don't save every card, but I do have about a dozen or so favorites with personal notes written in them, or given to me by a special group of ladies who each wrote something for my birthdays, or ones where Tim wrote something in it, and a few I just love. I keep one from my Grandmother because it's from her and one of the last ones where she could still see well enough to write something. I tossed the ones I didn't need to keep.

     I then went through miscellaneous stuff like old cell phones and chargers, cameras, candles, and other trinkets I'd been holding onto. None of it brings value to my life nor joy anymore. They've been replaced by better ones over the years, so most of that went too. Now I have so little in there, it can coexist with my socks and stuff like that in one drawer. In fact, both my husband and I pared down our dresser drawers so much that we each now only use a 3-drawer dresser each, and emptied both of our tall 5-drawer dressers to give to my mother when she moves in this fall. That's it - 3 drawers, and about 30 hanging items in the closet - I own no other clothes and it makes getting dressed so much easier. I like almost everything I own, I'll replace a few things, like getting rid of an outdated formal dress to buy a newer one (probably at a discount or thrift clothing store, or on clearance), and I'd like to add one casual dress in place of a pair of pants and a shirt.

     I suppose most people's junk drawers are in the kitchen, right? Ours used to be. In it there's usually pens, rubber bands, screwdrivers and pliers, loose nails and screws, bread ties, twist ties, fast food sauce and condiment packets, odd little plastic things we don't remember what they go to but they might be important "some day", etc. Other than holding onto maybe a few working writing utensils, a few rubber bands, putting tools where they belong, the rest usually can be thrown out. It's just a bunch of junk we throw in a drawer instead of in the trash, and we almost never get back to it. One of the best rules I've heard from The Minimalists is the 20/20 rule: If you can replace it for under $20 in under 20 minutes, toss it. (Maybe you'd make it a 30/30 rule or something if you live 30 miles from the nearest town?)

     What will you toss out of your junk drawer? If not today, can you get to it this weekend? Can you start the new month with less? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

   

Minimalism Challenge Day 26: Identify your stress triggers

     So 26 days into this Minimalism challenge I find myself living move simply, more relaxed, more at peace, yet still productive. It's possible to be less busy but still get everything done you need to, so I guess I cut out wasted time, or said no to things I would've said yes to, or just stayed more focused on the important things.

     Today's challenge is to identify your stress triggers. I will say, about 6 months ago, I had a lot of them. Now that I'm living intentionally, I actually find myself less stressed. It wasn't as easy to find stress triggers today. Granted, I'm at a point where my entire family is not home almost every day, or at least most of the day when they are here, so I have an unusual amount of alone time - first time in my life, really, and I'm so enjoying the quiet times.

     The challenge is still there so let's get to it. Here's my top 3, but not necessarily in any particular order:

1.  People who carelessly waste my time - I've mentioned this in an earlier post. I understand if things get delayed, or post-poned, or are running late, but it's the CARELESS wasting of my time that causes me stress. If I'm your customer, don't ignore me while you stand there having a personal conversation with another employee or texting on your phone. I came to you for a purpose, with cash to trade for a service or product. I did not show up to lose an extra 10 minutes because you're bored so you're talking about your last day off or upcoming weekend or where you went out with your friends - as I stand there waiting. You get the idea.

2.  Bad drivers - There's no way to express how much this one gets to me, although I AM working on letting a lot of it go, but I'm not there yet. Don't cut across 3 lanes of traffic at the last possible second to make an exit you knew was coming up ten minutes ago. Don't change lanes to get 6" in front of me when there wasn't anyone in your lane in front of you, nor the lane on the other side of you. Don't drift into my lane and almost hit me because you're staring at your phone screen instead of paying attention to driving. Don't slam on your breaks on the highway, almost totaling my car, when traffic comes to a stop because you again, were looking at your phone and didn't realize we were all going 30 mph instead of 75 mph like you were. I don't mind slow drivers, I can just go around, passing on the LEFT which is legal. DON'T pass on the RIGHT, ever!

3.  Changing my "schedule" over and over - I'm getting better with this one, but it's always been a pet peeve and here's why:  I've stated before, I'm a planner. I'm a thinker and an over-thinker. If I have a schedule, it's been thought through. I've taken lots of things into consideration you don't know about. I have to work around other things you again, know nothing about. Don't tell me what time to expect you, or meet you somewhere, and then change your plans randomly, for no other reason other than you just felt like doing something different, then call and expect me to immediately drop everything and leave now.

Disclaimer #1: My husband has every right to do this to me any time he needs to. He cannot predict what day or time he'll need to be picked up because his schedule is dictated by weather, his job, traffic, responsibilities, and other things beyond his control. He's learned to be very respectful of my time by giving me a ballpark day & time to pick him up for his weekend off, then update me as the day goes on so I know more and more accurately how the day will unfold. This allows me to readjust my own responsibilities so we are synchronized. And I appreciate it so much! 

     As for everyone else, be respectful of my time. If you know you'll be here a week in advance, and want to stop in, call me so I can be here. If you know you told me you'd be here at 4 pm and you left hours earlier and will be here 3 hours early, let me know 3 hours earlier that plans changed. Please don't call and say you're on your way and will be here unexpectedly in 10 minutes. It's not fair to me and it adds a lot of stress to an organized person.

Disclaimer #2: My in-laws are the exception to this. They are 200 miles, 3 1/2 hours away. Anything can happen from traffic jams, to a cancelled meeting near me, etc. so if they didn't know they'd have time to stop by and suddenly they do - they're welcome to stop in and I'll try my best to be here. Our family is so grateful for all they've done through the years, especially in our most dire of circumstances, that they get a free pass on this one. 

     Old pet peeves I used to have that I've learned to let go of (I think) are things like the old lady counting out her pennies at the grocery store because her purse is "too heavy" when she's got a wad of bills in her hand and there's 6 people behind her waiting in the only open lane. I still am in shock when people speak their minds without any thought of how what they say makes them look or others feel. You've seen the YouTube videos gone viral of rants, people who freak out on employees, and you've been at the party where someone loudly yells at and insults another guest in front of everyone making everyone there uncomfortable. I still don't like it, but it doesn't stress me out anymore. I still don't like traffic jams that are caused by people staring at a car pulled over with a flat tire like it's some life threatening multi vehicle homicide scene, backing up traffic for 6 exits. I don't like it, but I'm not yelling at everyone to "Come on! Go!" anymore. I used to get stressed over getting home and finding out something I paid for at the store is not in my bag when I get home. It's usually some item under $3 and my time is worth more than that, so I let it go.

     What kinds of things do you get stressed over? Are they something that won't even matter a year from now? Will it matter a month from now? Will it matter a day from now? Will it even matter in just 5 minutes from now? Then stop stressing and let it go. Learn to live simply and you'll find the peace you've been missing in your life.

Minimalism Challenge Day 25: Leave a whole day unplanned.

     As I mentioned in an earlier post, I'm not just a thinker, I'm an over-thinker. I live by lists and schedules and planners. I always have from about age 25 on. The thought of leaving a whole day unplanned would have seemed scary in the past, how would I ever get anything done?, but now I find I'm beginning to enjoy living simply.

     I still had to be at my Ladies' Bible Study today. It's where I've been every Tuesday morning (with a brief hiatus when we moved out of town temporarily) for almost 15 years. I've never missed going unless I was out of town or had no way to get there (if the car had broken down that morning). Planning or not, I was going.

     When I got home, I made a vegetarian lunch, a salad with cottage cheese and a greens drink. Something the Minimalists said once was, "Eating is not an event." Ever since then, it's easier to look at what I eat as nothing more than fuel, like putting gas in the car. It's not an event, a treat, a comfort, or anything else. It's simply fuel. If I put the right fuel in, my body will respond positively. If I don't, it won't.

     After that I thought about what I felt like doing. I wanted to watch a video of a speaker I'd heard about but it's not available just yet, so I listened to The Minimalists podcast like I do every Tuesday (and every other day for a while until I was caught up). I enjoy it, and I usually do important but non-urgent things on the computer while I listen. I heard the same message on the podcast that I heard on Sunday at church. Fear causes us to think delusional thoughts about the past - or put another way - when we remember the past, we tend to forget all the flaws that went with it, and remember it better than it truly was at the time. When I hear the same thing multiple times in a week or less, I tend to pick up on it, think about it, and see how to apply it. I mentioned I was an over-thinker, right?

     Afterwards, I got the mail, pet the cat for a while, and did the dishes in the sink. I then read the first few pages of a new book I'm reading. No particular plan, no order, no list, just wandering through the day and thinking, "What should I do now?" I still want to live intentionally, just not slave to a schedule today.

     I balanced the checkbook, went over travel plans coming up for both my husband, my son and his soon to be wife, and our anniversary trip in September. Once I confirmed everything was done, paid for, on the planner and calendar, I could let it go for a long time. Nothing more to do there.

     It's now mid afternoon and I'm blogging about my day. I have no plans tonight other than to watch baseball, of course. The game is at 6:40pm, I'll plan for that. Otherwise, I don't know what I'm making for dinner - but that's okay if it's not an event. It'll be something we have on hand, something that will use up what needs to be used up, healthy, and something that will fuel my body until tomorrow's breakfast.

     It feels nice to let go of my usual rigid list making and scheduling, but I worry without doing that, I'll forget important things. I'll return to my schedule tomorrow, but I think I'll only put 5 or less MUST DO things on my list. I'll do what's both important and urgent, then what's important but not urgent. Once those are done, then I'm free to pursue other things.

     I do have a trip to the lake planned this week, but whether I go on Wed, Thurs, or Fri is irrelevant. I'm going alone, so any of those work. I'll go when I feel it's the best day to go.

     What would you do on an unplanned day?

Day 24: Go Bare-Faced

     Okay, this challenge is not fair. If you're a guy, nothing changes. If you're a woman, you look often dramatically different bare-faced, or people hound you all day asking, "What's wrong?" or stating how tired you look. It would've been easier if makeup had never been invented. Okay, maybe not.

     Today I had to host our ladies' small group study at church. I didn't wear makeup. Truthfully, I have almost non-existent eye lashes so I was hoping last night's mascara was still there. I didn't do my usual eye shadow, dark pinkish/beige lipstick, no new mascara, just me. I wondered how well it would go over. I'm blessed with a small group of women who could care less how each other looks and we're more concerned about how we're all doing - the important stuff - how are we growing? how's the latest problem going? do we need help with anything? etc.

     I didn't really feel any different a few minutes in, so I guess it was fairly simple, but what if I was a professional 20 something who usually lives under a thick mask of color and techniques to alter my looks? I think that could be very scary, especially for a self-conscious person, or someone who normally covers scars or birthmarks, or someone who can only get through her day if she believes she looks "normal" with all the extra makeup. But what if you're a guy...

     I think if a guy were doing this challenge, they could do something like go out without hair product in their hair, if they normally do. Maybe if they're usually clean-shaven, they could go out with the overnight stubble still there? Maybe it's something simple like sneakers instead of dress shoes with those fancy designer jeans? It's definitely something to think about to make it a fair challenge.

     I think the point though is that we should go through the day being ourselves, not hiding behind a mask. We should be open and honest about where we're at, or who we are, without trying to cover it up so we think we look like we think others expect us to look. We worry too much about what others think of us when in reality, they aren't thinking anything! They're too busy worrying about how they look to everyone else to worry about it.

     How about a fair challenge where you, as a person, regardless of gender, just take a day to be who you are without trying to be someone else?

Day 23: (switched with tomorrow) Practice Gratitude

     I had too many places to be today to go bare-faced, so that'll have to be tomorrow when I go out. Today was the perfect day to Practice Gratitude, though.

     Being thankful and grateful are a HUGE part of my life. Maybe it's like the old saying that those who have had very little, or been through a lot, have the most to be grateful for in good times? That's certainly the case for me. I grew up poor, in the center of a lot of disfunction, being told things that no little kid should be told. I've been through a lot of bad things as a teenager, and had to deal with and work though the most difficult things in my adult life. But still, I'm fully aware that so many other people have it worse than I ever did. For that, I have every reason to be thankful. As my beautiful friend born in Tanzania says, "At least you have a roof." How's that for perspective?! She said it once when we first went for coffee together, and after sharing we both had been through more than anyone would imagine - even though our stories are VERY different - we are both grateful for the very little things in life.

     There is a book, which also was made into a movie, both with a "part 2" book/movie called The Ultimate Gift/The Ultimate Life. It's excellent and worth watching the movie with everyone you know. In it, the main character has lessons to learn (the hard way) to inherit millions of dollars. One of the things he's told to do is to make a list every day of 10 things to be thankful/grateful for. What would YOUR list look like?

     I'll show you what a day might look like on my list:

1.  My faith - without it, I have no hope, life is meaningless, what's the point, why am I here?
2.  My family - some days it's my household, husband & adult kids, others it's my siblings and Mom,
     other days it's my extended family that makes me smile by just remembering good times we've
     had together.
3.  My friends - I have lots of acquaintances, quite a few friends, but I also am blessed with a smaller
     circle of dear, close friends who know the real me. They understand my motives, my good      intentions when I mess up, and that I never mean to say or do something hurtful to them. They get me.
4.  My home - I'm so thankful for my home. I've lived in much smaller places, a trailer, a farmhouse, a condo, an apartment, a small house 50 years old, large multifamily homes over 100 years old, I've even lost my house during the whole Bank of America scam in 2008, and had to live with relatives kind enough to take us in. I could live in a camping one bed room cabin, a motor home, or a travel trailer - if I didn't feel so strongly about providing a home for my kids until they're ready to fly on their own, and to take care of my mother now that she can't really support herself. That said, I could do okay in much worse homes than where I am, but I'm so thankful that it has some space, it's on a quiet street, the neighbors are generally good people from what I can tell, and it's in good shape.

5.  My health - I could stand to lose a lot of weight (not that I haven't been aggressively trying for the past 2 years), I could do extreme things to my diet and exercise routine but...I'm thankful for what I have. I'm not struggling with any life threatening diseases that I'm aware of. I have full use of my limbs. I'm not in pain 24/7 like others I know...I'm thankful for where it's at right now.

6.  I'm thankful for my marriage. Like any other couple, that wasn't always the case every single day of the last 25 years, and understandably my husband would say the same, but now...we've got it figured out. I'm thankful for who he is, not who I want him to become. I'm thankful for his work ethic to take care of his family, and how he takes care of me. It makes me want to take better care of him too.

7.  I'm thankful for who I am. I could've been born in a poverty-stricken, third world country. I could've been born with severe disabilities or a major disease. I am grateful for what I didn't end up with in my life.

8.  I'm thankful for my country. I could've been born into some war torn, violent, fighting zone where decades if not centuries of battles have been fought in the streets and homes of everyday citizens. I was born into a country with more freedom than anywhere else. For that, I'm thankful.

9.  I'm grateful for what I've learned over the years. I've learned skills like parenting, being married, financial responsibility, how to work hard, how to work smart, how to learn and teach myself new things, logic and reasoning skills, how to cook like a pro, people skills, business principles, the history of my faith, minimalism, even down to how to read, write, and do math. I'm thankful for the opportunity to learn all of it. Where would I be without it.

10. Nature - I'm so thankful for this beautiful world we live in:  electric blue Caribbean waters, purple and orange sunsets, pink and yellow sunrises, deep green grassy fields, hundreds upon hundreds of different trees and flowers, so many different kinds of fruits and vegetables, mountains, deserts, ice storms, newly fallen snow, it's all so beautiful, and we have all of it right here in our own country, often all in one state! I'm thankful for a pretty sunset, a beautiful storm making it's way across a cloudless sky, the feel of sand under my feet, a cool breeze on a hot day, the stillness of water in a lake, the sound of the ocean waves hitting the shore - how can people take all that for granted?

Please share a short list of 5-10 things you're grateful for, even if it's just one or two word answers without explanation. I'd love to hear from you.

Day 22: Create a Relaxing Bedtime Routine

     Relaxing bedtime routine...I may be the wrong person to ask. I've had insomnia for as long as I can remember - and it got MUCH worse once I had kids. I have no trouble falling asleep. I just have trouble staying asleep. I may wake up as much as 7 times, falling back to sleep quickly each time, but not getting more than 45 min. at a time. I may be up once, but it's for 3 hours. It's different almost every night, but VERY rarely do I sleep for more than 6 hours in a row. It's not sleep apnea, I'm breathing just fine. It's not like I wake up with an overactive mind all stressed out. I just...wake up. I tried all the typical bedtime routines, herbal supplements, over the counter things that make me feel like crap the next day. It's quite possibly genetic. Both my mother and my daughter don't sleep through the night either. We never really have. I have it far better than either of them, so I don't complain about it. Anyway, back to the challenge.

     As I said, I don't have trouble GETTING to sleep. Maybe my typical routine is what's right for me? Who knows? Maybe it would be way worse without my routine. Here's what I do:

1.  I go to my room well before I plan on sleeping. It may be an hour or so early. I close the door,
     and mentally close the door on the day. No more planning. No stressing over what I did/didn't do
     that day.

2.  I take the time to feel good. I wash my face. I brush my teeth. I get comfortable. My clothes are in
     the hamper, no towels on the floor, no mess surrounding me. It's like minimalism - have less
     cluttering your relaxing space.

3.  I generally don't get on social media before bed. I don't get on Facebook - news stories would
     stress me out. I avoid Twitter where I have almost all baseball stuff - I'd be up for hours reading
     articles and watching videos of my favorite players. I avoid Instagram, no reason except that it
     would get me on my phone and on FB/twitter/checking emails.

4.  I have a sip of water. I'm technically on a very low dose one pill at night medication for high blood
     pressure, but it's been normal for weeks at a time without it, so I generally skip it unless it's been a
     particularly stressful day.

5.  I get comfortable in my bed and go through a short mental exercise. I first eliminate any and
     everything in my head that's not just truth. I shed the day's stresses, fears, things that got me
     frustrated, conversations I did or should've had, everything but the truth. For me, that truth is
     simple:  I am getting better every day, I have a God that made me and loves me. I have more than
     many others so I'm thankful. I even sometimes come up with a quick list of ten things I'm thankful
     for, and it's almost never got anything materialistic on it: my health, my family, a roof over my
     head, my kids have grown up and are good people, my friends, my faith that keeps me strong and
     gives me hope, etc.

6.  I then mentally "declutter" my head. I drop anything left that isn't thankfulness and peaceful. I
     happen to be a Christian, so my one sentence I repeat once or twice is this, "Be still, and know
     that I am God." That reminds me I don't have to run the world. Someone else is in charge, not me,
     so let go. I don't need to be full of mindless busyness. Live simply, find joy, and be at peace. If
     you aren't a person of faith, find some other sentence that reminds you to let go, have hope, trust,
     and be at peace. Whatever works for you. It could be a positive saying you've picked up from
     somewhere, a line from a book that changed your life, or just say to yourself, "Live simply."

     With those 6 things, it should make falling asleep easier, more relaxing. Other things I've done in the past are spending a few minutes listening to instrumental positive yoga music while just being still, and doing a short 20 minute workout an hour before bed, taking a quick shower to rinse off, and then going into the steps above. Everyone's life and responsibilities look different. Find what works for you, but a routine is far better than just falling asleep in front of the TV, or having your mind working 100 miles and hour then dropping into bed expecting to sleep easily.

     Take the time to shut down, close your mind to the day that's now behind you, and fall asleep ready to look ahead to a brighter future.

Day 21: Journal for 20 minutes

     Journaling is something I've done for as long as I remember, although this past year or two I don't do it as often as I used to. Maybe that's because I now blog more regularly, and get my thoughts out as I go through a book called 642 Things to Write About by The San Francisco Writers' Grotto. I ordered it a while back when I decided to go back to college. I needed to practice writing, to better get my thoughts and emotions onto the page.

     What kind of journals have I kept? Day to day ones, pregnancy diaries, notes I feel like remembering when reading my bible, sermon notes from church, notes for a fiction book someday (maybe), ideas for blogging, scrapbook journaling, and many others.

     Where does my 20 min. of journaling lead me today? I'm thinking over something I wrote in my writing session. It asked me to write about someone who had to make the hardest decision of anyone I know. I had many people to pick from, but what kept coming to mind was my mother. I won't expose any of her private life here or anywhere else public, but I can tell you why I chose her.

     My mother was given difficult circumstances. She had no mentor or coach growing up. She had to learn everything she did through trial and error, accepting all the natural consequences when she chose the wrong thing or way, and never giving herself enough credit when she made a good choice. She just chalked it up to coincidence or a one time fluke.

     This made me think about my daughter, who's actually quite a bit like my mother. She's more afraid of herself than anyone around her. She doesn't sleep, has health issues that keep her from being her best (although my daughter can be stubborn about doing things to improve it, like seeing a doctor, or having a fear of needles that keeps her from getting blood/allergy tests). Both are smart. Both do make great choices sometimes. Both have trouble accepting what makes them beautiful, wonderful people...they want to help others, just in their own timing and way. They both are smart but have trouble acknowledging it. Both have come a long way from where they started but still expect they won't get through the next challenge in front of them. They both expect the worst so they aren't disappointed, instead of expecting the best and finding out "it" wasn't as bad as they thought it would be. They settle for that momentary happiness that "it didn't suck" instead of seeking true joy and contentment.

     Then my journaling led me to think - What can I do to help them both? How can I add value to their lives? Isn't that why I was put here? To encourage others? (I realize that's not everyone's gifting or strength or talent, but I know for a fact that was what I was designed to do here on earth.)  Maybe I can take some action steps to help them. Here's what I came up with:

1.  I can purposely, intently look for every little thing they do right and encourage them. I can remind them that they did "it" and did it well, without being condescending or sound like I'm patronizing or babying them.

2.  I can stand beside them as they go through challenges. Obviously I can't be there for every little thing, and my goal is for my daughter to leave the nest and be able to fly successfully on her own in the world. With that said, I can still be there to offer support, help, wisdom from experience, and advice as they maneuver new, difficult things in their lives. No one wants to face hard stuff scared and alone.

3.  I can be the buffer for a few things. When something is going to be hard, I can be the in-between person to smooth some things, or help them organize what steps to take in which order, to make the process go easier. I can't do it for all things, but it can be as easy as going over a checklist of items she needs to bring to some department or company so they aren't turned away and have to waste time on a second trip because they didn't come prepared. I could put in a good word somewhere before she gets somewhere so the person they'll be meeting with has a good first impression.

4.  I can be their companion to help them get healthier. I can either cook for them or teach them how to cook in new ways or using new foods to help them repair some damaged area of their health. I can share what I know about supplements, vitamins and herbs. I can be the "walking buddy" or workout partner so they can be more motivated to improve their help, one baby step at a time.

5.  I can be their cheerleader. Everyone needs someone to encourage them, tell them how valuable they are, remind them why they're special to you, and maybe just give them a hug when they need one.

     Journaling can be a great way to let out frustrations, document progress with goals, remind yourself what life is like during a particular season, but mostly I like journaling because it eventually brings me around to thinking about others, instead of myself, and how I can add value to their lives.

What will you journal about? Where will you start? When will you start? Leave a legacy. Have a great weekend.

Day 20: No TV today

     I'm not generally a TV person. I record a few things and watch them when I choose. Here's about all I watch:

1. Baseball - Dbacks, Red Sox, Cubs
2. Baseball related - Dbacks "The 10th Inning" show, interviews players, also documentaries on the
     Red Sox, like the one MLB had last week about the 1967 team that turned everything around and
     Red Sox Nation was "born", lots of input by Yaz.
3.  Dr. Who - new episodes, because I've seen the rest, but it's done until the Christmas special
4.  Superstore - in between seasons right now but one of the funniest shows I've found in a long time,
     it takes a lot to get me to laugh out loud but I do at least once during every episode.
5.  Movies to watch later, like Night at the Museum, Bolt, etc. Rarely do I record movies.

That's about it. I will watch the Cardinals & Patriots when football season starts, but that's only once a week, not almost every day like baseball.

     Yesterday I didn't watch TV at all. By the time baseball was on, I was out of the house for the night - watching the Cubs new prospects/rookies play in the Arizona Rookie League at the Cubs park here in AZ. They played the prospects/rookies from the Kansas City Royals.

     Yesterday was just one of many days I went without TV. I don't have a TV in multiple rooms like most people. I refuse to have one in the bedroom. We have our one living room TV, and the kids all have one of their own that they bought themselves in their rooms. They don't even watch TV with them, they use them for playing video games occasionally, and once in a great while, Netflix or my son will watch a movie through his Xbox. The only one in our family that watches a lot of TV is my husband, but he's only home about 4 or 5 days a month, and he watches superhero related shows he's missed while on the road for three weeks at a time - very understandable.

     So today I will probably keep the TV off, as usual, recording today's morning baseball game to watch later before bed. I don't feel bad watching TV today since it'll be over a day and a half since turning it on, then it'll be off again for another 24 hours or more after the game.

     I don't understand the draw to sitting in front of the TV from say 6 o'clock when people get home from work, until 11 or so when they go to bed. I'm not judging those that do, they have their reasons, I'm just saying that I don't understand the appeal. That's 25 hours in 5 days, and when they have that habit, their day(s) off look pretty much like couch surfing too. What could people do with an extra 30 - 40 a week? Maybe do something to improve their health like going for walks? Maybe create better relationships with their family through dinner around a table together and conversations? Maybe make an actual phone call to a loved one far away? or to an aging parent/grandparent who's probably very lonely? There's such better things to do with time - the most precious gift we have - and one that could be taken away at any moment without warning.

     What will you do with your time this next week?

Day 19: Go for a walk and practice mindfulness

     Today is not an ideal day for a walk. It's summer in the Phoenix area. 100 degrees or more with monsoon season humidity levels do not make for ideal walking weather. It is a quiet day for me this afternoon to get alone and practice mindfulness.

     So what am I thinking during this time of "mindfulness"?  I'm thinking about where I'm at. I'm continuing to lose a little weight this week. The finances are in order. I just had both my husband and middle "child"/son home this past weekend. My daughter is enjoying her friends this week and her birthday is tomorrow. My oldest is home today so we had a chance to chat a bit at lunch. I love living in Arizona. I'm thrilled with my new church. I have great friends I see every week. I'm excited about starting college in a few weeks. I have a ten day vacation to the southern Caribbean in less than 2 months. My middle kid is also getting married in just over 2 months. My mother and brother will be moving here from FL in about 8 weeks. Life is pretty good. That's what I'm thinking. I'm taking time to see the good. To be appreciative. To be thankful.

     What else am I thinking? I'm thinking it's too early for as much traffic as I hear on the main road. I'm thinking the cicadas in the trees have been at it all day being noisy all week. I'm thinking about what I want to wear to watch the Cubs prospects play Rookie Ball tonight - I want to be comfortable in the heat, but not look like I'm there to pick up a 19 year old, LOL.  Yes, my mind wanders just like everyone else...

     Back to mindfulness. It's the second half of 2017 already and July is flying by. What do I want accomplished by the end of the year besides the above stuff going on? I want to be a better wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, and women's leader/facilitator. I want to continue to lose weight and be healthier. I want to find something physically active I can do on weekends when it gets cooler. I want to finish about half a dozen books by then.

     What are YOU thankful for in your life today? What things could've gone horribly wrong but someone was looking out for you and it's turning out better than you expected? What do you need to work on in the next six months? What kind of person do you want to be? I'd love to hear YOUR responses.

Minimalist Challenge Day 18: Unfollow & Unfriend

     Obviously today's challenge has to do with social media. Many of us end up with people on our friends/following lists that we aren't really friends with, we don't really have lots in common, we've never actually met- nor will ever meet, or they've just collected as we were in a particular season of our life.

     This challenge will be extremely personal for each of you. Everyone has their own reasons to follow/unfollow people. I chose to start with Twitter & Instagram. I got rid of people/pages/fan pages/advertising corporate pages (that you sometimes have to like or follow for a discount or coupon code). This was easy. I only need to keep about half what I have, so with a little time and some clicks, my newsfeed will be only what's most important to me, saving lots of time.

     Facebook is a bit trickier. There's no real set categories of people I kept as friends but unfollowed. I kept my family and most of Tim's. I unfollow those who I have no contact with anyway, we never like each other's stuff, nor do they post on any kind of a regular basis that I've seen.

     Next I went through my real friends I see face to face. I kept almost all of those. The only ones I didn't were ones that even face to face we've never said more than hello, or talked about the weather, but they sent me a request and I accepted in case we needed to communicate or message at some point.

     I then went through people I only know on facebook. I unfollowed but kept only those who interact with me on a fairly regular basis. For example, there's one "friend" on FB that never comments or likes on my stuff, never posts on their own, yet once every two or three years they'll comment on something I posted to be argumentative and very negative. Why would I need them in my daily feed? I often post to add value, or thinking questions, or encouragement to others, so I didn't unfriend them - I just unfollowed them.

     I also unsubscribed to many businesses and pages I only liked when someone asked me to (but it's of no interest to me) or because I wanted their coupon/discount offer.

     I have one last category that I unfollowed: the political argumentative people who do nothing but rant. Nothing of value, nothing encouraging, nothing personal, nothing worth sharing - just political stuff 24/7. The world is negative enough. I don't need it in my feed every day...so they're unfollowed.

     What value do you get from and give back to your friends & follows?

Minimalism Challenge Day 17: Try SINGLE Tasking today

     I'm a multitasker. Not sure if it's natural or a learned behavior out of necessity, but I am a multitasker. If I'm watching tv, which is rare outside of baseball season anyway, I'm also either answering messages on my phone or doing a sudoku puzzle as well. If I'm on my computer doing something, I've usually got a podcast playing in the background. If I'm teaching a class, I'm thinking about the material, the other related material I read wondering if it's relevant to share it, and planning for the next session. If I'm grocery shopping, I'm also calculating my grand total, comparing what I'm buying to what foods I have issues with (according to my Alcat test results), what meals they'll make, and will those meals still be "on plan" for my way of eating. I rarely single task. In fact, if I try to single task, like reading, or just watching tv, I will usually fall asleep.

     Today's challenge made me really stop, think, and focus on what I was doing all day. During the study I facilitate on Mondays, I was extra careful to focus on what everyone was saying. I always do anyway, but today I did it with a clear purposeful decision to not allow stray thoughts as I listened. I wasn't worried about the next question, or notes I want to share on the next page, or calculating how much time we have left compared to how many more pages we should get through. Results? I once again realize how deeply I cherish each woman in that group, and how much more I want to pray for them throughout the week.

     When I was with my daughter dropping of something at her college, I was in the moment with her. I was listening to what she was saying, ready to help with anything I could, and find some way to encourage and validate her and her emotions. We didn't argue over differences of opinion like we sometimes do.

     I took my son and his fiancee to lunch for great Greek food at a place I found near the house. During that time, we didn't talk much about the upcoming wedding, his next trip (he leaves tonight), or anything else. We just focused on enjoying a fantastic meal together.

     I'm supposed to go shopping later, my least favorite thing. Nothing fun, just a trip to WalMart so it can be one stop shopping. I plan on bringing a list and sticking to only what's on it. Deciding ahead of time I need nothing that isn't on that list will make the trip single focused, no stressing over, "Should I buy it or not?"

     Maybe it's time I learn that I don't have to multitask. I may get more done, but if no one thing is done well, why bother? Most things can wait a bit anyway, then there's less down time and boredom in between spurts of crazy busyness.

   If you decided to slow down and single task, what could you do or enjoy better?

Minimalist Challenge Day 16: Don't Buy Anything for 24 hours

    This one again fell on a good day, unless you count what my husband bought today.  He's leaving for his next trip so he needed to restock his semi truck for the next 19 days. He bought his groceries, but I didn't also pick up anything for me or for the house while I was in the store. He put gas in the car that's taking him to his truck and back, although it's in my daughter's car, and she'll use the rest of it, I will be in it for one trip tomorrow. Not sure if that counts or not. Maybe not?

     Since today is Sunday, I don't stop anywhere before or after. We typically don't go out to lunch after unless it's for a special occasion like a birthday or anniversary or something. Sunday afternoons I don't buy anything unless it's online or maybe a pizza delivered if everyone's home. Today I need nothing.

     If this fell on a Thurs. or Fri. though, I'd have to postpone my grocery shopping. If I worked a regular job and this fell on a weekday, I may be in the habit of getting a coffee at a Dunkin' Donuts on the way in, or buying a lunch somewhere on break, or picking up something fast for dinner - so I understand people's days and situations are different. Maybe if you need to you could switch out a few days of the challenge?

     If you didn't buy anything for the next 24 hours either today or tomorrow, what would you have to avoid?

By the way, I love comments on here. I'd love to interact with some of you reading/following this challenge - especially if it's helped you even with one thing or just one day.

Minimalism Challenge Day 15: Examine your daily habits

     This is going to be a good challenge day. I'm a thinker. Okay, actually I'm an OVER thinker. I think how Bill Cosby summed up people like me is perfect: I'm an intellectual. "Intellectuals study what most people do naturally." So what happens when I study my daily habits?

     First, I'd like to distinguish this from the Day 6 challenge to follow a morning routine. A routine is doing things in a similar manner, in a similar order, on a regular schedule. Daily habits are behaviors, the way we do things, and the why we do them like that. Habits can include things like putting things off vs doing them as soon as possible to get them out of the way. Always being late for things for some reason vs always being 15 minutes early for everything. Hitting a drive through on the way home vs cooking a healthy dinner from real ingredients. Spending days off doing physical things like going for a walk or hike or swimming vs watching television from the time you get home until bedtime every night.

     My habits have their seasons, some good, and some bad. My bad habits tend to be putting off things like working on learning Spanish with Rosetta Stone when I'm having a stressful week, waking up so tired I just don't feel like I have the energy to do a workout, or running an out of the way errand I know can wait. Some people's habits may include drinking too often/much, smoking, eating unhealthy junk food, swearing, gossiping, being lazy, too much television, breaking commitments, letting people down, lying, cheating, etc. I think at one point in my life I've lived through each of these, some for a long season, some for a very short season, and others I still work on today.

     My good habits include always (and I mean always) being early, not speaking my mind all the time and offending people, caring for others, being organized, eating healthy (I've been sugar and gluten free for a long time now and only on rare occasions like celebrations do I go completely "off plan"), and I love to learn, read, teach, and encourage others. There are many other good habits others have that I admire, like working hard at something until they've succeeded, travelling the world, run a successful Women's Ministry, volunteer to help strangers in need whether it's on the street, or in a shelter, or in a soup kitchen, and so many more.

     After examining both the good and the bad habits, and staying focused on one of the minimalism goals to live simply, I've come to a conclusion many others have:  If I really hate doing something, I'm not going to struggle with it on a daily basis. I will drop that which makes me unhappy. Instead I will focus on doing a better job or more of a better habit - like reading, studying, handling my household responsibilities, being a better friend, wife, Mom, etc.  I want to be the best version of me so I need to take charge of my behaviors/habits. If I want to be well-informed so I have information to help and share with others, then reading and studying is a habit to keep. If living longer in better health means I'm around to enjoy my grandchildren and great grandchildren someday, then I will choose to eat better foods, exercise on a regular basis, and avoid excessive drinking, smoking, and taking drugs. If doing my best during the day requires a good night's sleep, and I know I don't usually have that, then I will make a habit to go to bed early so I have more opportunity to sleep.

     Our habits and behaviors determine our future. Put in the time today because you're building your future. You don't want to look back 5, 10, or 20 years from now wishing you'd put better behaviors into practice years ago. The best time to begin a new good habit is 5 years ago. The second best time is now. What can you do better today to have a better tomorrow?

Day 14: Take a Step Towards Learning a New Skill

     Today's challenge is to take a step towards learning a new skill. Although I've been a really good cook (but I can't/don't bake) for years, I am learning how to step up my cooking skills.  It all started when I saw a friend post a link to watch a free one hour cooking webinar with Chef Todd Mohr, who owns a series called Web Cooking Classes. Here's the link:

Web Cooking Classes

     The one hour webinar was for real. He taught how to unlearn bad habits traditionally seen in home kitchens, and techniques passed down from home cooks to their kids and grandkids.  He's very good at explaining why to use his techniques that he learned and has taught in Culinary school for decades. He's entertaining, informative, and very casual - this is about real food, not fancy things that aren't practical for every day.

     After the one hour webinar, there's an offer to try his 16 week online classes, at your own pace. I forget how much it was, originally it was hundreds of dollars, far cheaper than the $40k they want for culinary school and far less time consuming. I had a friend send me a coupon code type of thing and I ended up with all his classes, plus a second set of classes that had another 16 more advanced videos plus another 16 videos in a third set, a free DVD on sauces mailed to my house, lots of extra bonus videos, printable sheets of what's taught in each session you can put in your own binder, and more. He even will respond to you within 24 hours when you leave a message on the board under each week's video, telling him what you tried making, how it came out, any questions you need answer, suggestions to altar the recipe shown, etc. I got all this with the code for just under $100 I think.

     I have gotten so much value out of this course. The 1 thing I'm on right now as far as "a new skill" for today's challenge is on making homemade pasta. I won't go out and buy a pasta maker/press anytime soon, so not sure if I'll try making it or not, but it's a new skill I'm glad I have.

     What new skill will you try in the near future?  A new sport? A new type of fitness workout? A new language? A new musical instrument - or learning to read music? How to use a new computer program? A Do It Yourself project? Maybe try scrapbooking or card making? Leathercraft? Sewing, knitting, or crochet? Driving a motorcycle? Roller blading, ice skating, skiing, or long boarding? Sailing? There's an endless list of new things to try. What will you choose?

Day 13: Clean out your closet

     Today's challenge was a bit more challenging than usual. I've already cleaned out my closets around the house, done a first time bedroom closet a few months ago, but this challenge had me really go through my bedroom closet. That's where I keep all the memento type stuff. It was easy to get rid of an extra overnight case, my collectible Phantom of the Opera music boxes (since my daughter wanted all of them), unopened makeup I don't need, etc. The harder part was deciding what to do with among other things, stuff like my WEDDING DRESS from 25 years ago, and the first piece of ART that ever took my breath away, even though it was absolutely opposite of everything about me.

     This time, it got real personal. I had to decide if I was getting rid of things just to get rid of them, or if I'd regret removing them from my world (although in the back of my closet I wasn't missing them), or if I really should hang onto them. How to decide?

     To save time I'll just cover the two most important things mentioned above. With my wedding dress, I was hoping that Tim & I would have a little celebration for our 25th Anniversary, exchange rings we picked out together (our original set is gone and we both have very cheap quick fix rings), have a few family members and closest friends join us, wear my gown & his suit, and renew our vows. Well, when I asked Tim he didn't want to do any of that, so we're doing a cruise to the Southern Caribbean in September instead. Now the only reason to hold onto my dress was "just in case". Those words are what causes hoarding stuff in the first place. Even if we have it all neatly tucked here and there and organized, it's just organized hoarding more than we need. The only other reason to hold onto the dress would be for Jordan if she ever got married. Since she's absolutely sure at 19 yrs old that she has no interest in guys (or women), the thought of kissing is gross to her and she has the next 10+ years of her life planned out and they definitely do not include dating anyone - let alone getting married, so no need to save the dress for her. I was thinking of offering it to my younger son's fiancee when they got engaged but she found the perfect dress near her house right off the bat, so no need there. My oldest son has a "type" when he dates. Usually she's between 5'10" and 6' 1" and super, model-thin. That's just his type, and it's what he looks like too, so I guess that makes sense. Anyway, no one he dates will need a dress that's a size 12/14.

     What to do with it? I don't want to just drop it off at Goodwill. I've kept it in an air-tight professional box tucked into tarp-thickness plastic to keep it bright white looking like new. I found a few places locally that take donated wedding gowns and cut them up to sew gowns for newborns that either were a miscarriage a few months too soon, or were stillborn. It saves the parent(s) the heartbreak of having to shop for something expensive at the worst time in their lives. That's a good cause I can get behind. My gown could be enough material for 12 - 15 gowns for those babies. Now I have no problem getting rid of it.

     As for the piece of art, it's something I can't explain. I was in the thrift store next to the tea house where I used to work and when I saw it, it stopped me in my tracks. I don't know what it was, but it hit my soul like no other piece of art ever had. Here's what it looks like.

     Now anyone that knows me knows I'm so NOT into western/cowboy stuff. I made serious attempts several times and it just is not who I am. But this pencil art piece has so much depth, such realism, such emotion, it stirs something in me every time I see it. The one odd thing about it is that it reminds me of Logan. I don't know how to explain it, but especially the hands. I thought about buying it for months, started saving a little to buy it, then we had to move 200 miles away. I thought about and regretted not buying it all the time. I came back to town for a long weekend to help out at the tea house and see my friends/church family. I decided I'd go in and buy the picture if it was still there. After 7 months, if it was there, it was meant to be, right?  Well I went in and it was gone. I was so sad, deeply regretting waiting. I couldn't imagine not having it. It just felt like it was supposed to be mine. (Seriously, I've never felt this way about any material thing before or since.) At the end of the weekend, my closest friend from work said she got me something for Christmas. I had gotten her something but having been without jobs for 7 months, we were broke, so all I got her were 3 books that were very important to helping me change to become a better person, complete with my highlights on the most important points. I gave her those with the explanation that I wanted to share what changed me and hoped she'd find value in them as well. She was grateful and understood where we were at, but then she gave me her gift..........she had gone into the shop after I moved figuring someday she'd see me again and give it to me. When she pulled it out of her car to hand it to me, I couldn't even take it. I started crying, not really even knowing why. I couldn't stop thanking her over and over. Obviously she knew how much it meant to me - and she's that wonderful type of person who knows people's deepest thoughts and wants. I hope my hug expressed how thankful I was.

     When I look at this, I feel like I do when I see a picture of him. I love the gray mat, the gray wood frame, the details. We even had Logan duplicate this once:

     Granted, he wasn't outside sitting on a knapsack by an old fence, but again, something about the hands, how low he hangs his head, the size of his arms, to me the picture looks like Logan.

     Anyway, it would be hard to part with it entirely, but I know it'll never go with any of my home decor. Nothing in my world is western style. So what should I do with it? Logan is getting married in a little over 60 days. He'll have his first home. I'm gifting it to him for his family to enjoy through the years. Now I have no problem letting it go - it's going where it belongs.

     So although letting go of once precious things that no longer need to be kept in closets, attics, and basements can be hard at first, if you find the right home for them, it becomes a wonderful letting go experience. You can feel good that you found it not just a home, not just a good home, but the right home.

Day 12: Define your goals for this year.

     January 1st I always write down things I want to do, learn, accomplish, and more. It's like I get a clean slate for the new year and I want to at least begin the year intentionally. For today's challenge I had to go over what I wrote in January and evaluate them, consider what I've changed my mind about, and what I plan on continuing to work on through December 31st.  Here's what I've got:

1.  Health - My goal wasn't a number on the scale or a particular size. It was to add regular workouts to my weeks and months so that by the end of the year, I'll be healthier, have more stamina, and be stronger.

Evaluation:  I took time off in June from exercising. Life was busy. I was travelling, although I walked many miles during my vacation. I have continued to workout 4 times a week minimum since then. I notice I have lost a little weight, I lost some off my body fat percentage, I've lost a few inches, and I fit in clothes I didn't fit in back in January. I feel like I'm stronger since I can do the regular exercises instead of just the beginner level ones. I don't have to quit or stop until the workout is done, so stamina and endurance are increasing as well. This is a good goal to keep pursuing.

2.  Relationships - My goal was to go to lunch once a month with a friend or family member to talk about them, how they're doing, how I can add value to their life by help or resources (where to find the answers they need).

Evaluation:  I think I've only done this 2 times in the past 6 1/2 months with the exception of while I was on vacation getting caught up with long-distance relatives and friends. I don't know if every month works so I'll change this goal to "as needed" or at least, keep it flexible. Sometimes I find other moments to share and listen with people, usually at church before or after a study or sermon. That can be a good replacement if it's genuine and not superficial. Also, I've been invited to join a group of about 6 - 8 particular ladies that go to lunch after church once a month, so that helps me keep on track.

3.  Growing - I've always been a student of learning life and people skills. My original plan involved learning Spanish, which I kept up for about 5 months then in June, my schedule didn't really allow the time and head work necessary. I also planned to read at least 20 books.

Evaluation - Spanish may be on hold, or just when I can shut everything else down for a while to get my head into it. I've reached the point where the program is teaching all brand new things with lots of conversational exercises and little instruction as to what they want when there's many options to pick from. It got very frustrating so I put it on hold for a while. As for reading, I've definitely read half the books at this year's half way point. I'm also reading lots of free ebooks which generally take me about an hour so not sure how to count those since they're 60-80 pages, but not quite a traditional "book". Either way, I'll keep reading like I always do. I'm devouring books on Minimalism right now.

4.  Finances - The goal was to pay off at least 1 credit card (we only own 2), pay for our 25th Anniversary trip 3 months before we leave, and build up savings.

Evaluation:  Although we did pay off 1 credit card and pay for our trip early as planned, a lot changed after January 1st.  Logan got engaged and our wedding gift was the 2 airline tickets to get them to Texas to board their cruise ship for the honeymoon. On top of that, we decided that rather than have me work a part-time job at minimum wage, I'm going back to school for a psychology degree/counseling so in a few short years I can have a whole new career helping women. We didn't plan for college expenses but the first two years are under $6000 total.  We also found out my mother and brother would need a new place to live before Halloween since their apartment complex got taken over by a company wishing to raise rents high enough people have to leave, then they can renovate them and charge a lot more to new people. We made the decision that we're in the best position to help them so we're moving them in with us about two weeks before the wedding. That meant 2 more airline tickets, and a few things like beds, dressers, etc. for when they get here. Finances were more complicated than we expected, but they're better than I would've guessed they would be 4 months ago. Tim was smart and figured a few things out to reduce what we owe on the house, how to lower our payment, and how to save thousands on interest. I guess now that the big stuff is out of the way, it's all about staying on track to pay off the last bit on the credit card and resume building our savings.

5.  Charity/Outreach/Giving Back - My goal in January was to start a small group once a week for women at church that need a small, intimate group where they can share their troubles and frustrations, get support and encouragement, and learn more about life, God, the bible, and faith in the process. I also wondered if there was an outreach or community place to volunteer but nothing has popped up that I felt led to do yet.

Evaluation:  Our small group is doing great. We generally have 4 or 5 of us, soon adding a 6th I hope. As for volunteering, still nothing although my mother mentioned when she's here at Thanksgiving, maybe we could volunteer at a soup kitchen or something serving others. If she'll do it with me, I'll do that. Who knows where it may lead. Also, I'm a part of a new growing church now so I'll be watching to see what opportunities I may have through them as well.

     Did you set goals back in January? What if you did right now? Could you set ones for August, giving yourself a few weeks to plan ahead, gather anything you may need (I needed workout CDs and some basic inexpensive equipment), etc? If you set new goals, please share in a comment what they are!

Day 11: Evaluate your commitments

     Why are we all so busy so often? The answer lies in the number of things we say yes to and the number of things to which we say no. Today is a chance to evaluate my commitments.

Sunday - I go to church Sunday mornings. I have for most of my adult life. I only skip it if I'm out of town. It gives my week a good focus - what to try to do better, how to see others, how I can be useful to help others, etc. This one stays.

Monday - I teach a small group of women in a very intimate, honest, open, non-judgmental setting. These are my closest friends who know me better than any of my other friends. We're not just studying together, we're "doing life" together. We're there for each other through the good and the bad. This one stays.

In a few weeks, I'm going back to college after 30 years! I'll be going straight from my small group to the college from about noon til six, so that's a commitment that's not really flexible and I will keep.

Tuesday - I begin each week at my church's Women's Bible Studies. It's not only where I can be a student and learn from mentors and other ladies, but it also is where I get to know people on a deeper level that there's no time for as we pass in the hallway on a Sunday morning. Since my heart and passion is in Women's Ministry, this stays. Without it, I'm no good the rest of the week.

Wednesday - the first day of the week I get to stay home (usually). It's my day to get caught up on cleaning, computer things that need to be taken care of, work on improving myself and my skills, and I get to see if I'm on track for the week. I need this day without commitments, so this one has to stay commitment free.

In a few weeks, when I start college, I'll be going Mon. and Wed. from noon til six, so I'll probably commit Wed. mornings to homework & studying, and classes for the afternoon. Hopefully evenings will be a little time for relaxing.

Thursday - usually this is the day I plan the next week's menu, finalize the grocery list, pay the bills, balance the checkbook, and figure out what, if any, plans need to come together for the weekend. Sometimes it's picking Tim or Logan up for their home time. That's a 90 minute commitment or more right there. Sometimes I get part of the grocery shopping done before the stores are crowded on Fridays. If it's spring or fall, you may find I take a few hours to go to Spring Training baseball practice as either the Diamondbacks or the Cubs field, or I'm watching prospects in a Fall Ball game. This is a flexible commitment day depending on the week - a good way to keep it.

Friday - all grocery shopping is finalized, the checkbook is balanced again, errands get done, and then I take whatever's left over and split it between things like savings, upcoming travel plans, paying off any credit card debt we may have at the time. It's also a chance to do some of the more irregular cleaning like washing the floors with a good mopping, or washing the towels, or doing yard work, or washing the sheets. Again it's a day I keep flexible, and it should stay that way. If I plan on doing lunch with a friend, often I do it on a Friday.

Saturday - my most flexible day - it could be cleaning, resting after a busy week, spending it with Tim or the rest of the family if they're here, or shopping for something I need before the new week. I like the flexibility of it. It's staying that way.

Go through your own week and figure out if the commitments you have are important, or just something you do because you feel you "should" or someone else thinks you should. Decide if it's really what you want or need, then make your own evaluation & decisions. Good luck.

Day 10: No Email or Social Media until after lunch

     Well this will be short. This challenge fell on a Monday, perfect for me. I get up, make breakfast & get ready to go facilitate a Women's Small Group at church. Since I leave around 8:30 in the morning and don't get home until lunch time, this was easy. Not much else to say. On a day when I'm home all day it may have been harder, or if I had a job where I needed to check email for work, I'd have to - but maybe don't open non-work related emails and don't get on FB, Twitter, Instagram, etc. until your lunch break?

Days 8 & 9 Challenges

     Yesterday was Day 8 and the daily minimalist challenge was Learn to Enjoy Solitude. I have no problem with that one most of the time. I love the quiet. I woke up yesterday when I was done sleeping (which lately involves waking up at 5 am, doing a few things, and going back to bed from 6:30 to about 8am). I immediately went to do my workout. If I start it quickly after waking, I'm already half-way through it before I have a chance to tell myself I really don't want to do it today. After the workout, I took a cold shower to cool down, got dressed, and did my hair and makeup for the day. Then I read in a great book from my list, had a cup of coffee and eased into my morning.
 
     Around 11 I had a friend of a friend swing by to pick up a chemistry set I was giving away. He and his wife have 8 kids from ages 4 or so to about 23, I'm sure they'll have fun with it. After that, I made myself a brunch type meal, a bowl of refried & black beans, pico de gallo, and lowfat sour cream. I ate it watching a show I love but DVR'd called "The Kitchen".  All morning, I was having minimal interaction with anyone and it was okay. Very peaceful.

     In the afternoon I again got time alone because I was decluttering more of the office/craft room, which is more of a catch all for everyone's crafts. I have made a decision that even surprised me. I'm done with scrapbooking (I think). I am donating everything related to it, my papers, scissors, stickers, embellishments, stamps, punches, everything. I realized moving here that I have so many albums already that moving them, and finding space for them, is too much. The kids are all grown and don't usually take or show me pictures of where they go, what they do, or who they're with, so there's much less reason to scrapbook. If I pick it up in the future, then fine, maybe it'll all be digital albums, but I'm actually relieved to not have so much stuff lying around that I'm not using. I'm donating it to a library for their billboards & children's art classes they do. At least someone will be getting good use out of the stuff.

     Also I'm giving away about 2 dozen "old" books I've held onto. Many are from between 1882 and the 1930s. They may be worth $5 - $40 each in a collector's hands, but there's so few around since the demand for hard copy books (as opposed to digital) is fading quickly. I'm giving them to a friend who adores and cherishes books. She can keep them, read and pass them one, or she can donate to her local library since sometimes they don't have a big budget to get enough.

     After the afternoon was just about gone, I settled in to a light supper and to watch baseball. I ended up going to bed early and just recording the last 2 innings - just in case something good happened late in the game.

     So I would say most of my day was spent in solitude, but it was spent quietly, doing intentional thing, simplifying my life even more, and feeling good that I'm passing on things from which others can find value. It was a very good day of solitude for me.

     Day 9 challenge: Downsize Your Beauty Collection

     Again, I've already done 80% of this or more over the past few months but I'll be going through it again. I need 2 or 3 lipsticks, not 10. I need one eye shadow tray with multiple colors and maybe just 2 of my favorites on their own. I don't need 10 makeup brushes, I get by with 3. One mascara is enough so it's never too old. I don't wear eyeliner often anymore so 1 is enough. I have liquid makeup which I don't need to wear much anymore since I find Revlon's Photo Ready pressed powder does a great job, but I'll hang onto a little of that for special occasions. That's about it. Nail polish I wear more now than I have in the past 10 years, but doing dishes everyday, I still don't wear it often. I may keep my top 5 favorites, but not all of it. If I don't love it enough to wear it often, why hang onto it until it's old and clumpy and throw it away THEN? Do it now.

     I have hair that's hard to take care of since it's naturally curly. It tends to be dry, frizzy, and curls often decide to go in directions other than I would choose. I do need a small amount of products to tame it depending on the weather, temperature, and humidity levels. I'll hang onto mousse for curly hair, some gel, some finishing spritz spray, and one of those root touch up products. I don't need to hang onto lots of extra kits, masques, cremes, and treatments to add moisture. I'll use the ones I think actually work over the next week and toss out the rest. Use it or lose it.

     Every girl needs 1 or 2 good razors, shaving cream, and a good lotion to put on her legs - but not much else. I'll keep my 2 deodorants, one I use every day and a smaller one for when I travel. I do have a small collection of trial size stuff leftover from my last trip but I'll use them up when I travel again in September. After that, any leftover can be tossed since I have no major travel plans in the near future after that - especially if I'm going to be in school again, and who knows? maybe working a part-time job at some point too.

     That's about all I have left. I do have a few facial products/lotions, less than 5, that I do use on a daily basis so I'll keep those. Anything else I find in the back of the cabinet gets tossed.

     The last part of this isn't really about beauty products, it's more pharmaceuticals. I keep a shelf of stuff normally in a medicine cabinet but I gave ours to Tim for his stuff since there's more room in my shelves. I plan on moving them to some type of shelf or else one of those small multi-drawer plastic bins to sort them a bit so everyone can find what they need without having to dig through stuff all in one box. And that's that. I expect I'll have lots more space when I'm through today. Maybe I can use that space for towels so we're not always reaching under the sink for them.

     Good luck if you too are decluttering your beauty products. If not, why not try it this month as a first step to getting rid of things that are old, that you don't need nor use anymore?

Day 7: Streamlining My Reading List

     Today's challenge is easy. I love to read, but don't always take the time to pursue books I want to read. I'm more likely to either come across one that seems interesting, or else I read something new by an author I already know and like. I spent quite a bit of time checking out books to read and I've come up with a few good ones. Here's my recommendations:

     Although I already have read these (finishing up the 3rd one in the next 2 days), I highly recommend them if you have ever thought about learning more about Minimalism. It looks different for everyone, based on your family size, values, relationships, space available, living quarters, square footage available, passions, etc. I generally wouldn't recommend books here that use some bad language, I believe if you can skip over the occasional bad language, you could get quite a bit of value from these. (And no, it's not just all over the place, it's mostly for real emphasis, about a PG-13 rating.) All 3 of these books are written by The Minimalists, Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus.

After reading these, I pursued a few other books. Some were on minimalism also to get other people's perspective. Some were Christian books, both fiction and non-fiction, and some were on other topics. Here's what's on my To Do reading list:

1. Waking Up to Who You Really Are by Ted Dekker

2.  The Happiness of Simple by Dan Erickson (free on Amazon Prime kindle version)

3.  Daily Wisdom for Women - it's a January 2015 devotional collection by Barbour Books

4.  Minimalism (A minimalist guide to eliminate clutter, clear the mind, and increase productivity) by      Paul Silverman

5.  47 Little Love Boosters by Marko Petkovic

6.  Capsule Wardrobe (When Less is the New Black) by Hannah Hannigan * This one I read in under

     an hour, it has a pink cover, so you don't confuse it with the others by that name

7.  The Scottish Fairy Book by Elizabeth Wilson Grierson (not sure I'll get to this one)

8.  Child in the Mist by Kathleen Morgan (Scottish fiction)

9.  To Live is Christ by Beth Moore

10. Praying God's Word by Beth Moore

11. Who Is the Holy Spirit by R.C. Sproul

12. The 7-Day Prayer Warrior Experience by Stormie Omartian

13. Discover Minimalism, a Minimalist Budget by Adrian Pepperdine

Now that I have the next dozen or so, I need to streamline and prioritize it.  Here's my top 5:

#1, because I love Ted Dekker and this isn't a fiction story like he usually does, it's about faith

#2, because that's where I'm at right now

#4, ditto

#12, because I know lots of people who are in need of serious prayer right now, you probably do to.

#13, although I've got a great handle on our finances, I'm always open to learning how to be better

So if you had a chance to read even just 1, 2 or 3 books over the next 6 months, what would you read? What are you interested in? What needs improving? What would you like to learn? What kind of fictional story would you like to get lost in? Would you do better with an audio book? 

Don't forget you can find some books for free or just 99 cents with Kindle, or Amazon Prime, or others out there. You can request your local library find the book (even if it's out of state) and they will get it for you as long as there's no waiting list. This is a great option since it's FREE. You also could subscribe to Audible or KindleUnlimited for a monthly fee to read many books at no extra cost and they usually run around $10 to $15 per month for the subscription - great for those who love to read. 

Enjoy finding your own reading list. Good luck.